I gave him a playful slap on the forearm.
“Are you ready to go?” he asked. “Or do you want to play more games.”
“I’m getting tired. And I have class tomorrow. I’m sure you have an early practice.”
“I do,” he agreed. “But that doesn’t mean I want our date to end.”
I smiled. “I had a really great time.”
He kissed my cheek. “Me, too.”
He grabbed my hand and the two of us made our way out of Jabberwocky’s and into the parking lot. As we got closer to his car, I was surprised to see someone standing at the driver’s side door.
It was Shawna.
I assumed her friend, the hostess, had phoned her and told her Kian was at the restaurant with me.
Kian pulled me close and put his arm around me as if he was protecting me from her. “What are you doing here, Shawna?” he asked.
She started wobbling when she began to talk. It was obvious she’s been drinking. “I came to get my man back,” she slurred.
“I was never your man,” Kian stated.
She pointed a finger at him. “I gave you everything I had. I did everything you asked. I was your three hole wonder. Wasn’t it good enough?”
I could feel my stomach clench when she used the vile term three hole wonder. I tried to move away from Kian but he grabbed on to me even tighter.
Tears started to stream down Shawna’s heavily made-up face, the wetness dragging the make-up down her face with it.
Kian inhaled and when I looked up at him, I could see that his jaw was clenched. “Whatever we had, Shawna, it’s over. I told you that the other night.”
“But I don’t want it to be over,” she spat. “We belong together.”
Kian shook his head. “No, Shawna. We don’t.”
“You tossed me aside like a used up piece of trash for this?” She pointed an unsteady finger in my direction and directed her anger at me. When she moved closer to me, I could smell alcohol seeping from her pours. “Don’t think he’s not going to do the same thing to you, Miss High and Mighty. You’re nothing special to him. All you are is somewhere for him to deposit his semen. As soon as he’s tired of you, he’ll find another hole to stick his dick in.”
My hand flew to my mouth and I felt like I was going to be sick to my stomach. She had managed to bring out my worst fears and throw them right in my face. Kyle had said almost the same thing: that Kian was going to be gone as soon as he took what he wanted from me. He was just going to “hit it and quit it.”
I could feel Kian starting to shake and I could see the anger in his eyes. “You need to leave, Shawna.”
Before another word could be exchanged, a shiny red Camaro came to a screeching halt right next to us. It was like a scene from a bad comedy movie.
A short guy hopped out of the car and I immediately recognized him as the guy who was with Kian when my sister and I ran into them outside The Twisted Mug.
The short guy grabbed Shawna by the elbow but the girl was tough and she tried her best to squirm away from him.
“Shawna,” he yelled. “Stop!”
We all froze in mid-air and looked at the short guy. He turned to face me and gave me a slight nod.
“That’s Runt,” Kian whispered.
“Runt?” I asked to make sure I heard him correctly.
Kian nodded.
“My name’s Randall,” Runt said. “But everyone calls me Runt.”
“Nice to meet you Randall,” I said politely and Shawna glared at me.
Runt took hold of both of Shawna’s shoulders in an effort to calm her down. “You need to come back home,” Runt said as if he was talking to a child.
That seemed to calm Shawna a bit.
Kian raised an eyebrow at Runt and he shrugged. “I asked Shawna to move in with me the other day.”
I nearly choked. “She’s living with you?” I blurted in complete and utter disbelief.
Shawna glared at me. “What, I’m not good enough for a guy to live with, rich bitch?”
I shook my head. “I didn’t say that. It’s just that you said you wanted to be with Kian but you’re living with Randall.”
She thrust her hands on her hips in defiance. “And? What’s your point?”
“No point,” I said. I felt like I was talking to someone from another planet.
She stuck her index finger in my face again. “Remember what I said. I don’t care how rich your mommy and daddy are. Or how special you think you are because you’re a cute little college girl. You’re nothing but another hole for his dick.”
And with that, she turned and hopped into Runt’s car.
“It was great to finally sort of meet you,” Runt said to me as his car horn started honking like crazy. “Gotta go.”
Runt hopped into his car and I could hear the two of them screaming at each other although I couldn’t really make out what they were saying.
Kian heaved a huge sigh and then took me around to the passenger side of his car. He opened the door for me and I got in then he headed over to the driver’s side and hopped in. I expected him to start the engine but he didn’t. He just sat there, staring into the dark night sky.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he said, “I don’t know if it makes any difference now but what she said isn’t true.”
I didn’t know what to think and I definitely didn’t know what to say. It was all so confusing. The Kian I knew was nothing like the Kian Shawna said he was. I had a difficult time reconciling the two completely different Kian’s.
“What Shawna said is more about her than it is about me.”
I nodded and decided to just listen. There was obviously more he wanted to say. When I turned to face him, I could see his eyes were wet and he was blinking back tears.
“I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve been with a lot of women and none of them were relationships. I know it’s not an excuse but I was raised in a background that didn’t exactly teach me about what a relationship is supposed to be. I saw a lot of what I knew I didn’t want, which was a lot of messed up physical and mental abuse. It’s true that most of the time, I only thought with my dick. But you have to believe me when I tell you that things are different with you. Not that I don’t think about sex when I’m with you because I do—a lot. But it’s more than that. Mostly what I feel when I’m with you is in here.”
He placed his hand on his chest, over his heart.
“I’ve never felt this way before about anyone and it scares the shit out of me. But you know what scares me even more? The thought of never getting to see you again. The thought of never getting to touch you again and hold you in my arms. That would be a living hell.”
I wiped at the tear that escaped down my face. I cleared my throat and hoped the words would come out. “Don’t you think I’m scared, too? The guy I dated my senior year was the school’s star hockey player. Every girl in school wanted him but he said he wanted me. I thought I was in love with him. He seemed to be perfect and always did everything right. He said he would wait until I was ready to have sex and I thought that was admirable until I found out that he didn’t mind waiting for me because he was doing it with every other girl in school.”
I could see Kian was clenching his fists into angry balls like he wanted to hit something or someone. “You didn’t deserve to be treated like that and he definitely didn’t deserve your love.”
I tried to blink back the flow of tears that were now escaping down my cheeks. Kian put his hands on my face and tried to wipe away the hurt but there was too much pain that needed to be released.
“There’s more,” I said through agonizing sobs. “It’s hard for me to talk about.”
“It’s okay,” Kian whispered as he pulled me close. “You don’t have to tell me everything now.”
I was crying so hard, Kian’s shirt was quickly getting soaked with my tears. He looked so handsome when he came to pick me up and his shirt looked brand new.
“I’
m ruining your shirt,” I sobbed.
He pulled me even tighter. “It’s okay. I don’t care about the shirt.”
I cried for what seemed like an eternity and Kian just held me tight. Once it seemed like I was cried out, Kian placed a soft kiss on my forehead. “I’m going to take you home now.”
I nodded. I felt exhausted. Completely spent. All I wanted to do was disappear into the warmth of my bed and sleep.
Kian started the engine and the quiet ride back to my place seemed to take an eternity.
When Kian stopped in front of my building, I was surprised when he left the engine running. Not that I wanted him to come up to my suite but a walk to the door would have been nice. Of course, the whole incident with Shawna and talking about our respective pasts kind of put a damper on any romantic sparks that had been flying earlier. He turned to face me. He brushed his thumb softly over my cheek. “I’m sorry that prick hurt you. You deserve so much better.”
“Do you have a computer?” I asked.
He furrowed his brow. “I know I’m a dumb jock but I do live in the 21st century.”
“It’s a valid question to ask someone driving a car that’s nearly 40-years-old. Your car has a cassette player. Do they even make those anymore?”
“I have a computer.” He grinned. “Why?”
“If you want to know what happened to me Google Austin Douglas and Taylor Thompson.”
When I saw his jaw clench, I wondered if I had made a mistake giving Kian his name. I didn’t know what he was capable of. Not that I wouldn’t love to have someone beat the crap out of Austin on my behalf but I didn’t want Kian to get hurt or get in trouble. Austin wasn’t worth risking his career for.
I turned to face Kian and when he looked over at me, I could see a sadness in his eyes that had not been there earlier. It made me wonder if he planned on seeing me again.
I handed him the stuffed dog I had won playing Skee Ball. “I want you to have this.”
He shook his head. “I can’t take it. You won it.”
“Please, take it. I want you to think about me whenever you look at him.”
He took the stuffed animal from my hands. “I think of you every minute of every day. I don’t need a stuffed dog to remind me of you.”
I didn’t know what else to say. I wasn’t sure if he still wanted to go out with me on Sunday, or ever again. And after he Googled me and Austin, he might decide I wasn’t even worth the bother anymore.
“Thanks for dinner,” I said as I opened my door.
“Wait,” he said as he grabbed my elbow.
I turned back around to face him and our eyes locked. The heat between us was still there, and maybe even elevated a notch.
I felt like there were so many things left unsaid and yet I didn’t seem to know what to say. I had experienced a wild ride of emotions with Kian but I was still overwhelmingly attracted to him. In so many ways, he was everything I wasn’t. He was strong and tough and funny and charming.
“I want to let you know there’s a reason why I’m not walking you to your door and it’s not because I don’t want to see you again. After everything that happened tonight, I don’t want you to feel any pressure to do anything physical. I just want you to know that’s not what this is about.” Then he gave me a sly grin. “It’s not the only thing this is about.”
I nodded as I took in what he was saying.
He continued. “And I want you to give some serious thought to what you’re getting into with me. You saw Shawna and Runt. That’s a glimpse into my not-so-distant past.”
He looked at me, his eyes dark and serious. I had never seen blue eyes turn such a deep shade, it was a bit ominous. “I’m not like you, Taylor. I’m from the wrong side of the tracks. My family, if you could even call them that, were completely fucked up. I did the best I could to raise myself in spite of them.”
“I kind of got that feeling,” I said. “About your home life—your background.”
He raised an eyebrow.
“You’re a little—um—rough around the edges,” I added. “But it’s part of your charm.”
“I’ll never be good enough for you. You deserve so much more than a piece of shit like me.”
I opened my mouth to protest but he put his hand up to stop me.
“It’s the truth. You and I both know it. But I promise you I will work harder than any other person on the Earth to make you happy and to try to be even half of the person you deserve. Even if you decide you don’t want me, which I totally get and I wouldn’t blame you, I want you to know that you make me want to be a better person—you make me want to be a better man.”
It was more than I could process in my tired state. The idea that a gorgeous star hockey player could think that he wasn’t good enough for me was laughable. But I didn’t know the details of his life growing up. I had to assume that whatever he went through completely damaged his self-esteem.
I took a deep breath then exhaled. “Why don’t you wait until you read some of the news articles about me and Austin before you decide I’m too good for you?”
He nodded. “Fair enough.”
“I’d better get going. It’s been a long night and I’m beyond tired.”
I leaned over and gave Kian a soft kiss on the cheek. “Good night,” I whispered.
“Good night, Princess,” he whispered back.
Eleven
Kian
The front door to my shabby studio apartment got stuck a lot. The place was old, dilapidated and cheap—cheap enough for me to pay three month’s rent at a time and still not equal what Runt was paying for one month for his fancy spread on the other side of town.
Runt spent his money faster than he could earn it. He grew up just as dirt poor as I did but he used his new found wealth to overcompensate for everything he felt was denied to him as a kid. He always wanted what was new, he wanted the very best and he wanted it yesterday.
I lived more frugally than was probably necessary but I had a goal and was determined to achieve it. I wanted to own a sports bar by the time I was thirty and if I kept up with my savings plan and continued to make good money, it was well within my reach.
One thing I never anticipated was that my life’s goals would include a girl. But I often thought about Taylor and how she would fit into my future. It was probably stupid. The chances of her dropping me for someone more like her were almost assured. But I still had a sliver of hope. I hoped that she’d be able to see me for my potential, for who I could be if I had the chance. I didn’t think I’d ever be the man of her dreams but I hoped that maybe she could see some kind of future with me.
When my freakin’ door finally opened, I nearly fell over my own feet to get to my computer. It was an old, used piece of crap that Runt gave me when a cute sales girl talked him into buying a MacBook Air. Like he needed something that fancy to surf porn on the internet, which is about the only use he ever got from a computer. He also managed to get a date and a blowjob from the cute sales girl but I’m not sure that was worth $1500.
I fired up the laptop and waited for it to go through its warm up cycle. The way the thing whirred and clicked when it booted up, I knew it was on its last legs. Truth be told, the thing had been on its last legs since Runt gave it to me but I couldn’t complain about a free computer.
As soon as I saw the internet pop up, I Googled Taylor Thompson and Austin Douglas. I nearly gasped when I saw all of the hits that came up. And then I started to feel sick to my stomach when I read some of the news headlines:
Prom Queen Sex Tape Scandal
Prom Queen Loses Virginity for the World to See
Star Hockey Player Signs Plea Agreement in Prom Queen Sex Tape Scandal
I felt like I was going to puke. I took a deep breath and clicked on one of the links to read the article.
Star Hockey Player Signs Plea Agreement in Prom Queen Sex Tape Scandal
One of the high school’s star hockey players, Austin Douglas, 18, pled guilty to one coun
t of invasion of privacy in a controversial plea agreement that divided the mid-sized northern Arizona town. Under the terms of the agreement, Douglas agreed to attend counseling and do 200 hours of community service. In his testimony to the judge, Douglas admitted that he made a number of poor decisions, which he attributed to immaturity, and made an apology to the victim, Taylor Thompson, 18.
The controversy began on the night of high school prom when the victim, Thompson, was staying in a hotel room with Douglas where the two engaged in sexual activity. Both Douglas and Thompson agree that the sexual encounter was consensual, however, unbeknownst to Thompson, Douglas video-taped their encounter so he could share it with friends. Although Douglas denies releasing the sex tape to anyone but a small group of close friends, the video was passed along to most of the students at the school and then went viral. After Douglas’s arrest, the Prom Queen Sex Tape Scandal made national headlines.
Classmates of Thompson’s, who was voted Prom Queen and also served as the Student Council President, state that she was a “very smart” and “popular girl” who had “lots of friends” and was “very active in the school community” prior to the incident. Sources close to the victim state that shortly after the sex tape was released to her classmates, she withdrew from school and completed her education through homeschooling.
Opponents of the plea agreement deal believe that Douglas, who sources say was “one of the most popular athletes in the school,” only took the guilty plea and apologized to the victim to save his lucrative university hockey scholarship. One of the coaches of the prominent Utah college hockey team defended Douglas. “We believe Austin Douglas made a decision that lacked maturity but that he is truly sorry for any damage he caused to the victim. He has agreed to attend counseling and to complete community service to pay his debt to society. We welcome him to our university team this fall.”
My stomach was in a tight knot by the time I read the final paragraph. I wanted to smash the computer screen into a million pieces I was so fucking angry.
I swore if I ever saw Austin Douglas, I would hurt him as badly as he hurt Taylor. I couldn’t imagine what it felt like for her to give herself to him and then to be betrayed so utterly and completely.
Fire on Ice (Fire on Ice Series) Page 10