No wonder she was so worried about getting hurt again. And when I thought about the things Shawna said about me and how Taylor must have thought it was possible for me to be like Austin, I wanted to scream.
I had to find a way to prove to her I was nothing like Austin. Sure, I had been with a lot of women but I never lied or cheated. I was always upfront with them and they knew the deal.
And I would never do anything without a girl’s full consent.
I realized I would have to take things really slow with Taylor. I wanted her to trust me fully and completely before we became intimate with each other. I wanted her to know without any doubt that I would never do anything to hurt her and that I would do whatever it took to protect her. I never wanted anyone to hurt her the way that prick Austin Douglas did.
I wanted to kill that fucker.
But I knew if I did kill him that I wouldn’t be there for Taylor and that was more important.
I closed my laptop and crawled into my bed. I placed the stuffed dog Taylor had given me right next to my pillow. I noticed on closer inspection that a few of his seams were about ready to pop and one of his eyes was hanging by a thread. I wasn’t sure if the poor thing was cute or completely pathetic. That was kind of how I felt on most days. But the stuffed dog was a gift from Taylor and I cherished it because she gave it to me.
I thought about how to proceed with Taylor. I wanted to see her as soon as I could but we had a late practice Friday and a game on Saturday night. My next day off wasn’t until Sunday. I told her we’d get together. I needed to take her someplace special and memorable.
***
Friday night, I found myself at O’Sullivan’s with Runt and a few of the other guys from the team: Red, Moose and Geno. Practice practically killed us and it felt good to kick back and relax before we had to worry about our next game.
“So, what’s up with the rich bitch?” Runt asked. He was already on his fourth beer and his judgment was almost completely gone. Red, Moose and Geno all looked over at me. I hadn’t told them about Taylor and I’m sure they were curious.
“I told you not to call her that,” I snapped.
“Sorry,” he said as he tried to bury his face in his half empty pint. “I forgot.”
“You’ve got some new punani?” Geno asked with a smirk that I wanted to punch right off his face.
“A little college cooch,” Runt teased.
I glared at him. I knew if the guys talked any more shit about Taylor, I was going to start throwing punches, so I tried to change the subject. “What’s up with you and Shawna,” I fired back at Runt.
“Shawna lost her job and she needed a place to stay, so I told her she could stay with me for a while, until she got back on her feet.”
I frowned. “Staying with you, I doubt she’ll ever get back on her feet. You’ll have her on her back all the time.”
“True that,” he said and then downed the rest of his beer. “That girl is exhausting. Between the work-outs I get at practice and the work-outs she gives me when I get home, I never get any rest.”
“And where is your friend tonight?” I asked. The last thing I wanted was any more drama with Shawna.
“She said she had some things to take care of.” Runt rolled his eyes. “I have no idea what that means nor do I care enough to ask.”
I downed the remainder of my beer. “I think I’m gonna take off,” I said.
The other guys at the end of the table, who were now engaged in an intense debate about draft picks and new prospects, gave me a slight wave goodbye.
“Dude, ever since you met Taylor, you’ve been a real drag.”
I pointed a finger at him. “So, you do remember her name.”
He took a quick swig of his pint. “Of course I remember her name. I’m not a complete idiot.”
I rose. “We’ll debate that later.”
Just as I was about to make my exit, I felt a hand rub my back. I spun around and saw Shawna grinning at me. “Hey, Babe,” she said seductively.
“I’m on my way out,” I said matter-of-factly.
She put her hand to my chest and tried to stop me. “Why are you leaving so soon?” she asked.
“I’m tired.” And I really didn’t want to have this conversation with her—or any conversation for that matter.
“I know something that could wake you up.” As her hand made its way to my dick, I backed away from her.
“I thought you were with Runt,” I said. When I looked over at him, he was watching the show. It was as if he enjoyed seeing Shawna hit on me. Maybe it was like watching a porno and he was just desensitized to it.
She leaned in close. “Runt told me the two of you like to share.”
I let out a cold laugh. “We share things like hockey equipment and giant cases of toothpaste from Costco, not girls.”
“Whatever,” she said dismissively. “Don’t think I’ll still be here waiting for you when the rich bitch dumps your ass.”
I glared at her. “Last night you said I was the one who was going to dump her for another hole to put my dick. Now tonight she’s the one who’s going to dump my ass. Which is it?”
“The two of you belong together,” she scoffed.
I nodded. “You’re right. And that’s exactly what I’ve been waiting to hear.”
I pushed her aside as I made my way out of the bar and didn’t bother to look back to say goodbye to anyone.
***
Once I got back to my apartment, I had a strong urge to phone Taylor. Not only because I wanted to make sure she was okay but I was also dying to hear her voice. It didn’t seem possible that it was only twenty-four hours since I had seen her.
But then I hesitated because I didn’t want to seem like an over-eager jack-off.
I didn’t want to be another Kyle.
I stared at my cellphone for what felt like an eternity until I finally got the balls to dial.
She picked up right away. “Hey,” she said.
“Hey yourself. I’m not calling too late, am I?”
She yawned. “No, I just got done studying.”
“You were studying on a Friday night?” I joked.
She laughed. “What else would I be doing?”
I could think of a lot of things I’d like to be doing with her on a Friday night but those things would come in time, I hoped. Just when I was going to make a funny little remark about getting together on a Friday night, I swore I heard a guy’s voice in the background.
“Is there someone with you?” I asked as casually as I could. I didn’t want to come off a jealous asshole even though that’s exactly how I felt.
“It’s Kyle,” she said offhandedly.
The little weasel. I had a feeling he’d try to monopolize as much of her time as possible once he heard I was in the picture on a more frequent basis but it seemed awfully late to still be studying.
I didn’t want to let my imagination run wild but just the thought of her spending time with another guy, even her friend pie-faced Kyle, made me anxious.
And I didn’t like feeling anxious. I rarely felt anxious about anything. Maybe it was because there were so few things I truly cared about. But I did care about Taylor; I cared about her a lot, maybe too much. And I didn’t want to lose her.
Especially not to pie-face Kyle.
“Are you still there?” she asked. Her voice was laced with concern.
“Yeah, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
She heaved a sigh. “Other than being completely exhausted and burned out from studying, I’m okay. I don’t know what I was thinking leaving both Stats and Research Design for my last year of school.”
“I’m sure you’ll do fine,” I said. I wanted to be encouraging and supportive even though I really had no clue what she was going through. I never studied for a test in my life.
“Hey, do you mind if I phone you back in a few minutes?” she asked and I figured that was her way of saying she wanted to get Kyle out of there so we
could talk. At least that’s what I hoped.
“Sure,” I replied and she hung up.
Then I just stared at my phone waiting for her to call back and I felt as pathetic as pie-face.
I took a deep breath when I heard my cell phone buzz and waited a few rings to answer it. I may have been as pathetic as a love sick kid but she didn’t have to know it.
“Hey,” I said when I answered.
“So,” she said. “Did you find anything interesting on Google?”
“A few things,” I replied trying not to get enraged again.
“And what did you think?” Her voice sounded so sad and weak when she talked about it, it made me want to fucking kill Austin Douglas.
I knew I should have taken a deep breath and composed my thoughts before I responded but that would have been the smart thing to do and no one had ever accused me of being smart. “I think if I ever see that sick fuck I’ll beat the shit out of him.”
There was silence at the other end of the line and I thought I heard a soft sob. I knew I should have told her we’d wait to talk about it when I could see her and hold her. I wanted some way to be able to take all of her pain away. And I wanted to make sure no one ever hurt her again.
“Did you see the video?” Her voice was so small and timid, I didn’t think I heard her right.
“What are you talking about?” I asked.
“The video,” she said between sobs. “Did you search for it on the internet? Did you watch it?”
Holy shit. She actually thought I’d search for the video that sick sack of shit made and watch it.
She sniffled and I could hear the anguish in her voice. “My lawyers got most of the sites to take it down but you can still find it online if you search for it. As soon as one gets taken down another one seems to pop up in its place.”
“I don’t even want to hear about you studying with Kyle. Do you think I want to watch a video of you with another guy?” I didn’t know if it made her feel better or not but that’s how I felt.
“Do you still want to go out with the star of the Prom Queen Sex Tape? I could be the only person on the planet who had her first and only sexual encounter made into a sex tape.” Her voice had an edge of anger to it that I was almost glad to hear. I wanted her to be angry about what the prick did to her. It was better than being miserable, or even worse, feeling like it was her fault.
“Well, we did have a bet,” I challenged trying to cheer her up a bit.
“So you feel obligated to take me out?” she countered. “Is that it?” I was glad to hear that little bit of spunk that I loved return to her voice.
“Well, I’ve never reneged on a bet.”
“So where are you going to take me?”
“I’ll pick you up at 10 a.m.,” I said. “Wear something casual.”
“Does that mean you’re not going to tell me where we’re going?” she teased.
“That means you’ll have to wait to find out. I promise you won’t be disappointed.”
“Then I guess I’ll see you Sunday at 10.”
Twelve
Taylor
Kyle was pouting when I plopped my book bag down next to him. He told me to meet him at our usual place in the reference section of the library, a place that hardly ever got used.
“Why the long face?” I asked.
“Was it the hockey player? Is that why you made me leave last night?”
I took the seat next to Kyle. “It was getting late and we were done studying.”
“But I like hanging out with you,” he whined. Kyle was my best friend but he whined more than I did.
I put my hand on his forearm. “I’m hanging out with you now.”
He looked at me with sad eyes. “No, we’re studying again. We’re not hanging out.”
“We’ll probably get lunch,” I replied trying to cheer him up. “They have a new spinach and black olive wrap at The Twisted Mug.”
Kyle loved The Twisted Mug almost as much as I did. “Okay,” he sighed. “But I’m still not happy about that hockey player.” I knew Kyle would be even less happy if I told him I had another date with him on Sunday.
“He has a name,” I remarked. “It’s Kian.”
“What kind of name is Kian anyway?” I could already tell that whatever I said about Kian, Kyle would have something negative to say about it.
I didn’t want to believe that Kian was right. That maybe Kyle did want to be more than just friends and that’s the reason he stuck around. I decided to test the hypothesis.
“So what if I told you that Kian took me out to dinner on Thursday night and he’s taking me out again on Sunday.”
Kyle’s eyes went so wide, they looked like huge saucers. “Did you tell him about Austin?” he muttered.
“Why does that matter?” I sniped.
He gulped. It looked like he wanted to say more but was holding back. “Why did you ask me that?” I pushed.
He looked down at his book, avoiding my gaze. I had a feeling I knew what he was getting at but was too afraid to actually say it. He thought if I told Kian about the sex tape he wouldn’t want to be with me.
“Do you think that no one will ever want me because of what happened? Is that it?” I knew I should have kept my voice down because we were in the library but Kyle was making me mad.
When he shushed me, it made me even angrier.
“Don’t tell me to be quiet,” I said in a loud whisper. “And answer my question. Do you think that I’m some kind of used up piece of trash that nobody will want?”
When he finally looked up at me, he was blinking furiously. I had only seen him do it a few times before when he got really nervous. “That’s not what I said.”
“It may not be what you said but it seems to be what you implied.”
“He’s a professional athlete, Tay. He can literally walk down the street and have his pick of any girl.”
Now I was the one with the wide eyes. “So what you’re saying is that if he can have any girl, what is he doing with me?”
“It’s a valid question. Have you asked yourself that?”
I was so enraged and so humiliated I could feel myself start to shake. “Did you ever think for one minute that maybe he likes me?”
“He’s a player, Tay. On and off the ice. Guys like that don’t settle down with one girl. They like variety. You’re like a new flavor of ice cream. One he’s never tasted before and he thinks he has to have you. But how long do you think that’s going to last? Do you think he’s going to wait by your side for as long as it takes?”
Kian was right. Kyle was talking about himself when he said wait by your side for as long as it takes. That’s exactly what Kyle was doing. Waiting for me to see him as something more than just a friend, or as Kian so eloquently put it, Kyle was waiting for his chance to get into my pants.
I wasn’t sure if Kian would wait. I wasn’t sure about anything. But I wanted to find out.
“You know what, Kyle?” I pointed a finger at him. “Kian’s not from a wealthy family like you. And he’ll never be a college graduate like you’re going to be. But at least he’s honest about his intentions, which I’m finally figuring out that you’re not.”
Kyle’s mouth gaped open but no words came out.
I grabbed my book bag from the table. “I’m going to study at home.”
As I turned to leave, I heard Kyle ask, “Does this mean we’re not going for lunch at The Twisted Mug?”
I didn’t even bother with a response as I walked away.
***
By two o’clock I was tired of studying and my suite was starting to feel claustrophobic. I wanted to go out but I had nowhere to go. I knew Kian wouldn’t get home from the game until it was late and it was sold out anyway, so I couldn’t see him play even if I wanted to. And I was still a little gun shy about going to another game.
Since I was starting to get used to taking risks, I decided to phone my sister to see what she was doing for the evening. To say s
he was surprised by my call would have been an understatement.
“What the fuck?” she practically screamed into the phone. “My little sister actually wants to go out? I didn’t think I’d ever see the day. Whatever Mr. Hottie is doing to you, I want to bottle it and sell it. We could make a fortune.”
I wanted to tell her it didn’t have anything to do with Kian but I knew it would be a lie. Finally crawling out of the big hole I’d dug for myself had everything to do with Kian. One would think as a psychology major, I would have analyzed our relationship to death but I didn’t want to. I just wanted to take it one-day-at-a-time and enjoy it.
“So, are you going to take me out or not?” I asked.
“I was planning on going to a cast party. Are you in? I know how much you love hanging out with actors,” she said sarcastically. She knew I hated hanging out with actors. I found most of them completely over-the-top, unnecessarily dramatic and even a bit pretentious.
“Count me in,” I stated, which was met with a gasp from my sister on the other end of the line.
“I know you’re probably not in the market considering you have the Hunky Hockey Star hot on your heels but there’s a new guy who just auditioned for a show and he’s fan-fucking-tastic looking. He’s a walking billboard for Tall, Dark and Handsome.”
“And you’re not going after him because…?”
“Oh, believe me, I tried to walk down that pathway already but he put up some major roadblocks. I asked him if he was gay and he told me he was straight but that I just wasn’t his type. It’s been my experience that when a guy says that it’s because he doesn’t like his women quite so curvy. Call it a hunch but I have a feeling you’d be just his type.”
I harrumphed. “You are right. I’m not in the market.”
“You know what they say,” she teased. “You don’t want to buy the cow until you’ve had a chance to try the milk. You haven’t tried the milk yet, have you?”
I rolled my eyes even though she couldn’t see me. “No, I haven’t tried the milk yet. We’ve only gone out a few times.”
Fire on Ice (Fire on Ice Series) Page 11