Shades

by Eric Dallaire

  I felt sheer panic. Only a threadbare amount of remaining mental awareness prevented total acceptance of this mirage. I knew I was in great peril. Only one last desperate, dangerous strategy remained. Playing nice had not worked with Tomoe. I needed to try a more direct rejection.

  “You're not Vanessa, get away from me!” I yelled, pushing her hands away from me. “This is not real. You are not real. I am not in love with you. Send me back, now.” I twisted my face into a mask of loathing. I told myself that this person had kept me further from my love and I let that thought stoke my anger. I raised my hands up with balled fists and assumed a defensive fighting stance.

  Tomoe-disguised-as-Vanessa responded with a gentle smile.

  “You lack the understanding of how great your purpose will be,” she responded with icy calm. “I will show you.”

  My wrist-com flared to life, but not with the typical light blue console. My display filled with her green sigils. Unrecognizable code symbols enveloped my hand. I tried to scan the logic, but it streamed too fast for me to comprehend.

  With a hand motion from Tomoe, our spacecraft shot forward and sped into the planet's atmosphere. The blackness surrounding us disappeared, replaced by the blue and white of Rakuen’s stratosphere. Hurtling through the clouds, I saw a sprawling metropolis full of gleaming structures. Tiny ant-sized figures grew larger as we plunged toward the steel streets of a city. Thousands of red-suited shades, all performing construction duties, ignored the impact when our fragile ship struck ground. My head hurt and I wondered if we crash-landed. Glass shards scattered in all directions, each broken piece reflecting images of this strange new world. My vision filled with gray haze and the scene shifted again.

  When the smoke cleared, my feet found solid ground again. I was aware that time had passed since our crash. How much was unclear and irrelevant. As I strolled hand-in-hand with Tomoe, any lingering doubts or questions diminished with the dimming light of the dual setting suns. In the distance, a skyline of buildings we built together crested along the horizon. Behind us, four children ran and laughed, picking flowers. One of the girls showed me an orange flower petal, and it dissolved into the brightness of the sunset. More time had passed.

  In the reflection of my high-rise office’s glass wall, I saw myself aging. Decades flew by like hours. Sitting at a workstation that looked familiar and new at the same time, I spent years creating the code to seed another continent on Rakuen with beauty, form, and structure. More images came to my mind like water filling up a drowning car that had fallen into a deep lake. Liquid memories poured in from all around, submerging all of my previous thoughts. I felt my mental defenses break before the flood of a life that I did not know yet, but that threatened to replace all that I had known.

  “Vanessa,” I whispered as I fell to my knees. What frightened me most was that the name already felt almost unfamiliar. I covered my face with my hands, I tried one last time to block the deluge, until at some point, the happiness and joy from this new reality overwhelmed me.

  * * *

  The red light of a glorious sunrise pierced my bedroom window and warmed my wrinkled eyelids until they opened. Yesterday’s headache had abated. My hand touched the top of my head to feel the bandages from the surgery.

  I sat up and stretched my old limbs. Despite the pains, I was determined to move with my own body today and not rely on the v-cast. I had lived for one hundred and twenty-three years, and while old age might have robbed me of my strength, it could not dampen my stubbornness. Walking toward the glass wall, I noticed my antique grand piano, one of the few things in this place older than me. On a whim, I opened its protective cover. My hands, full of renewed vigor, touched the polished keys and played a portion of Mozart's Magic Flute. The sound of real music lifted my spirits further and brought a smile to my lips. Then I closed the cover and resumed my slow journey to the window.

  As I shuffled closer, the glass wall shimmered to become less opaque, revealing the full splendor of the Aerie’s view. Looking over Rakuen Prime, I smiled with pride at the magnificence of the city. Flying cars streaked by the tall gleaming citadels and spires I had designed. My hand waved over the glass and four small displays appeared. These were windows into the lives of my children. My two daughters, both scientists, worked side by side in their laboratory five floors below in our skyscraper building. Far above, my oldest son piloted a spacecraft in our solar system. He tested a new fusion scoop device that orbited our red sun. In the last screen, my youngest son stood tall as captain of the largest ocean vessel on the planet. With a full team of scientists under his command, he balanced the churning cores of our planet’s tidal reactors. At that moment, I felt so blessed to have such amazing children.

  For the first time in years, my mind felt clear. The surgery must have been successful. The haze that had clouded my thoughts now felt lifted. My mind raced to organize all of the tasks I wanted to accomplish in the morning. An algorithm to improve the efficiency of the planet's v-cast mass transformers flitted around my mind.

  I desired to check in on my lovely wife, to thank her for arranging the surgery. My hand waved again to open a fifth display. When it shimmered to life, I saw her looking ageless, dressed in her favorite red and gold kimono. She knelt with perfect posture, hands folded, on a simple red cushion. Another person standing at the center of her office talked to her. The visitor looked middle-aged, his black hair parted down the middle, with both sides showing long streaks of white. His gray-blue eyes looked keen and sharp. As the Prime Minister, Tomoe often received dignitaries from around the world, as well as other planets. Rakuen had become one of the most important trade and scientific research hubs between the three known solar systems. Curiously, this man addressed my wife with an air of authority. I adjusted my display to hear the conversation.

  “How do I know that your plan will work?” he demanded.

  “It will work, Gabriel,” Tomoe insisted. “He will become a great asset to us.” The man turned toward my camera view. His face furrowed with concern.

  “If he cannot be controlled, either you or Spenner will need to deal with him.”

  “He will be content here for a long time, I assure you,” Tomoe replied.

  “I assure you he won't,” countered another voice joining the conversation. The new visitor wore a white suit, red shoes, and looked well-manicured with a trimmed black beard. From the indignant expressions displayed by Tomoe and Gabriel, I guessed the visitor did not receive an invitation.

  “This intrusion violates the terms of our truce,” Tomoe rebuked the new visitor, her face reddening.

  “And you have overstepped your authority. So we find ourselves in a…gray area,” replied the white suited man with a hint of playfulness. “He has the right to choose to be with Vanessa.”

  Tomoe stood up, her open hand raised in anger at the stranger. Then she noticed my digital spy eye, the blinking white light on the wall under the security monitoring system.

  “Jonah, dear!” she exclaimed with concern. “You should be resting! I will finish this business soon and come and check on you.” With a finger snap, she shut off the video link and the display on my glass wall winked away. My gaze lingered on that spot, watching a transport barge drift across the sky leaving a wake of hazy smoke.

  The name Vanessa resonated in my head. Thinking of it made my temples ache. I rubbed my bandages with care and looked out to the sky. The smoke from the flying ship swirled and took a shape. A face in the sky formed, and grew auburn hair that flowed across the sky. Hazel eyes stared back at me. It was a familiar and beautiful face. It was a memory buried under a desert of time. My hand reached out to touch the cheek of that face until another larger flying craft flew through the smoke. Then the memory was gone.

  “Vanessa,” I mumbled, with a reverence and longing that surprised me. “Vanessa...” This time, saying the name again failed to evoke any memory of that familiar face. Was I experiencing a side effect of the brain
surgery? Lost in thought, I failed to notice the arrival of visitors.

  “You are a difficult man to track down, sir,” sounded a pleasant voice, maybe even a familiar one. I turned around to regard the projected form of a blue wisp, an old-style artificial intelligence. A glowing blue light surrounded its temporary proto-matter body. The AI chose to manifest a kind, well-articulated face. It offered a warm smile, like an old friend.

  “It is good to see you, Jonah,” the AI said.

  “You have me at a disadvantage, my dear. I don’t know, or don’t remember you. Though you must be quite clever to get through our security.”

  “Oh, the cleverness of me,” she replied, “is the cleverness of you.”

  Her reply stoked an ember in my brain, an old dormant memory that burned through a long wick of many years. Disconnected memories, lost moments with this AI, appeared in my mind’s eye. Then a name echoed in my head. I remembered her.

  “Sasha?” I asked, lurching toward her, tears welling up in my dried-up eyes and streaking down my wrinkled cheeks. “I remember you. How--what is happening?”

  “What is the meaning of this?” cried Tomoe as she burst into the room. Her body was not slowed by the age that crippled me. She sprinted across the room, running through Sasha’s body, scattering her form into glittering blue particles.

  “Did she bother you, dear?” Tomoe asked with affection in her eyes. “You should be resting!”

  For the first time in what I considered decades, I met her expression with distrust. The love I felt for her wavered. Could this confusion be a side effect of my surgery?

  “My--my...” I stammered, rubbing my head as if massaging my sore temples might dislodge truth.

  “My, my indeed,” spoke a voice from behind me. Looking back, I saw the white-dressed man that spoke with Tomoe earlier. The memory of him bobbed around the dark lake of my mind. The knowing grin, his groomed black beard, his perfect white suit, and shining red shoes all looked familiar. I had done business with this one. “Jonah, you really do have the most complicated relationships with women.” The man motioned with his hands, using an echelon to access the v-cast generator network. By his command, the blue-skinned AI Sasha re-materialized next to him.

  “What is going on here?” I demanded.

  “Did a hacker steal your identity?” he asked. “Wish it back.” Those words surfaced the full memory. That slogan, illuminated on an advertisement barge, floated across my vision.

  “You--you’re the White Djinn,” I muttered his name aloud. Another part of my mind screamed that he could not be fully trusted, but that same voice told me that Sasha could be trusted.

  “Yes,” he responded. “We have negotiated the terms for your release.”

  Tomoe bristled. Her slender hand slipped to her side, gripping the handle of her silver katana.

  “You speak of release like he is in a prison,” snapped Tomoe. “He is free to choose.” She accessed her jade wrist-com. Then she discontinued an echelon that destabilized my fragile mental state even further. The high-rise apartment, my view of Rakuen, my study, everything I had known disappeared.

  The four of us appeared in a red and orange foyer filled with Japanese antiquities. It dawned on me that I was back in the Aerie. No longer covered in the withered skin of old age, I appeared as a younger man at the summit of his prime. Not far away, a tuned piano played. This time, I recognized the piece as Chopin's Nocturne number six in G minor. This time, I was an expert at music. Glancing around the room, I knew the dates and origins of all the art pieces along the walls. One sprawling tapestry depicted the defeat of the Mongol navy by the 'Divine Wind' off the shores of medieval Japan. Another painting depicted a master blacksmith at the forge and bellows, revealing metal-folding secrets for the sharpest katana. My mind knew all of the secrets in this room, when I knew that I should not.

  Then I realized what Tomoe had done to me. A feat that I thought was only possible with computers. She hacked my mind with the Aerie's v-cast network, implanting a century of memories into my head. While I had experienced a full life in that world Tomoe had planned for us, only hours had passed here in the Aerie.

  “Jonah, I wanted you to see the future we could have together. You are special to me. Believe me, that world can be real,” she implored. “With your help, your genius, it will exist soon. My ships are launching to that planet in a week's time. That is the truth. I would have you by my side, if you will build the future with me.”

  They all looked to me with different expressions of anticipation. Tomoe looked nervous for the first time since I had known her. Sasha appeared hopeful. The White Djinn stroked his chin, ready to turn any decision into profit.

  “This is your decision, Jonah,” the White Djinn said. “I have fulfilled my favor to Sasha that you be given this choice. At considerable risk to my own interests, I might add...”

  “Whatever you decide, sir, I will accept,” offered Sasha. “So long as you are safe and happy. You must choose soon or risk psychosis.”

  She was right. My true memories battled against Tomoe’s implanted ones. A fragmented mind, torn between two worlds, would succumb to delusion and madness. It came down to this decision.

  My eyes closed, focusing on the choice. A vision of Tomoe beckoned from the top of her stairs, pleading, whispering secrets of power. Below her waited Vanessa. Unlike Tomoe, she remained silent, letting her glistening, compassionate eyes communicate to me. She would not beg for me. She wanted me to choose of my own free will.

  “I cannot forgive this invasion,” I said with reluctance. I fought my feelings of fondness and attraction for that woman. I repeated to myself that my affection was artificial, something forced upon me. “This life you showed me is not real.”

  “What is real?” Tomoe argued. “Within twenty years, my new v-cast generators will be able to repli-print real blood, marrow, sinew, even brain matter. You can help me master the technology. We could live forever, build whatever world--”

  “My love for Vanessa is real,” I interrupted. I raised my wrist-com and the familiar soft blue glow was a welcome sight. My fingers darted across the console and I peered into the schema of the Aerie, a marvelous labyrinth of advanced intricate code the likes of which I would never see again. It was undeniably tempting to stay and study that code, to be with Tomoe, but I brushed that thought aside. I saw past the trappings of the Aerie and spotted another hidden door, a way out that would lead outside the High Tower.

  “I choose my life.”

  “It is settled then,” the White Djinn said. “Tomoe, this man, Jonah Adams, owes me a favor by contract, probably at least three favors now, and is therefore a material asset to my business. And under the terms of our truce, dear Tomoe, we are not allowed to interfere with the assets of the other. Unless you'd like to resume the ugliness we started eight years ago. It would be a shame if the guidance systems of your space ships suffered a virus...”

  A long pause settled over the room. Only the piano’s stirring interpretation of Chopin’s seventh movement broke the silence. Tomoe tugged at the hilt of her katana, showing enough of its keen edge to reflect light back toward my eyes. Her jade wrist-com glowed, ready to unleash any one of her dangerous echelons.

  “Know this, Jonah -- if you leave these walls, you leave my protection. There are associates of mine who would prefer that you not continue your journey. This is your last chance.”

  Another orange door opened along the far wall and I walked through it with Sasha and the White Djinn following behind. With each step, the false years I never lived, the children I never raised, and inventions I never created all flew through my mind and burned away like dying meteors.

  “So be it,” I heard Tomoe say as the door closed behind me. I wondered how long I would remember her and the lifetime we had experienced together in such a short time.

  * * *

  Both Barnaby and Erasmus sat rapt until I finished recounting my encounter in the A
erie. Dredging up those recollections gave me a pounding headache. While I rubbed my temples to alleviate the pain, my interrogators whispered to each other. Then they turned to regard me.

  “Barnaby, I think we should make sure the German authorities are aware of this Hochmeister villain,” Erasmus said. “We certainly don't want our streets polluted with Icarus.”

  “I will alert the Bundesnachrichtendienst bureau immediately,” Barnaby replied. From his briefcase, he retrieved a silvery skullcap with spindly metal wires. After he placed the v-cast interface onto his head, his eyes closed. I knew his mind shifted elsewhere, maybe to a police station in Berlin.

  “I do appreciate your candor Jonah. You have been very helpful, my son,” Erasmus continued, regarding me with his kind brown eyes. “I dare say, I have never heard a story so fraught with peril and adversity. Your tenacity is admirable and your encounter with Tomoe was more dangerous than you likely realized. Barnaby’s intelligence team informs us that no one who has entered the Aerie escaped. For various reasons, we cannot move against her, yet. Most of her victims join her willingly so there are no accusers. As the head of a major space corporation, she also enjoys certain protections. Her wealth and connections make her difficult to prosecute. Rest assured, we are investigating. Now, how are you feeling?”

  “Fine, except for the jackhammer in my head,” I mumbled.

  “Our scientists believe your body's immune system will flush out the false synapses and chemical memories, given some time.”

  “Vanessa,” I rasped, fighting back a wave of nausea. “Have you located her?”

  “We have our best agents on that matter,” Erasmus replied. “She has not been found yet…I have high hopes that by retelling your story, a missing piece of the puzzle will reveal itself. We will find her.”

  Then Barnaby awoke from his meditative, v-casting state. He removed the skullcap and smiled at Erasmus.