To Rise Above

by Jones, Julianne

  I wouldn’t let Eleanor write more than a few lines so I better leave some room for Da’s letter. Don’t ever forget that we all love ye and miss ye ever so much.

  Yer loving brother,

  Kieran.

  Katie’s heart was rejoicing as she laid down the page containing Kieran’s scrawl. Her brother now knew her Lord and Saviour too. Now if only Da …

  Her heart beating fast she turned the page over and began to read the words her da’s hand had inscribed.

  My dearest Katie-girl,

  I realise it has been a while since ye had a letter and I hope it hasn’t caused ye too much distress. I’m not sure where to begin with all that’s happening.

  No doubt Kieran and Eleanor have filled ye in on the family happenings, so I won’t repeat all that they’ve written. I’m sure too that Kieran has told ye of the loss of his beloved. Those were dark days for all of us! I questioned why me boy had to go through such a time but just as he found faith through his time of trial so did yer undeserving Da.

  Katie dropped the letter and let the tears roll unashamedly down her cheeks. Not only had her brother Kieran been saved but her da too! It was too much to take in. She had prayed for them since the time she had found the Lord on the convict ship when the lives of all on board had been in mortal danger but she had so often had little hope of her prayers being answered. And now she had such reason to celebrate because God had heard her prayers and those dearest to her had also given their lives over to Him.

  She swiped her face on the sleeve of her dress and continued to read.

  I know ye will rejoice at this news just as we are all now rejoicing that He loved us enough to send His Son for us. I am so unworthy. I have not been the da to ye that ye deserve and I’m asking yer forgiveness, Katie-girl.

  There is some other news that I must share with ye before I finish. There is a scheme whereby the family of convicts can immigrate as free settlers to the colony at the expense of the government. We were not sure that we would be eligible but we applied and have been accepted. Katie-girl, in just a very short time, we will be leaving Ireland to join ye in Australia. Every last one of us. What do ye say to that?

  I will be sad to say goodbye to our beloved Ireland but I rejoice that I will see me Katie-girl again. How I long to hold ye close and tell ye just how much I love ye. But until then, I hold ye always in my heart.

  Yer loving and unworthy

  Da.

  Unashamedly Katie put her head down and cried. It was too much. Too good to be true: that her da and brother were now also Christians, that Kieran had overcome his heartache, that they would all be leaving Ireland to travel to this distant land … it was too much to take in.

  How long she stayed there she wasn’t sure but it wasn’t until she sensed someone watching her that she raised her head. Sitting a short distance away she recognised the soldier who had asked permission to call on her. When he saw her watching him he gave a nervous smile.

  “Are you all right? Do I need to call someone for you?”

  Kate shook her head. “I thank ye kindly but I’m all right.”

  “Not bad news I hope?” he nodded at the package in her lap.

  Wordlessly Katie shook her head.

  “Well then,” he rose to his feet. “I’ll be on my way.”

  Katie nodded, then fearing that she seemed ungracious added, “ I thank yer for yer concern.”

  He nodded. “It was my pleasure. Are you sure you’re all right? Could I see you to your home?”

  Katie hesitated, and then shook her head. “Once again I thank ye, but I can manage.”

  He bowed slightly then proceeded back up the path. Katie watched him go. He seemed nice enough – not at all like some of the other soldiers. Even though she wasn’t interested in him courting her she was glad that he wasn’t like some of the uncouth young men she often saw around town. She felt honoured that he had wanted to call on her and even though she had refused, it seemed that he hadn’t taken it too hard. She hadn’t wanted to hurt him but she had known that he wasn’t the one for her. Lola had said that she could do worse … but Lola didn’t understand. Her future was in God’s Hands and she was trusting Him to let her know when it was time for her to be courting. Until then she would be content to wait. Not until the young man was out of sight did Katie rise to her feet and begin to ascend the cliff.

  “Katie! Are you all right? We were starting to get worried.” Esther met her at the front gate. “Why, you’ve been crying!”

  “There’s nothing to worry about.”

  “Are you sure?” Esther put a gentle hand on the girl’s arm. To her horror, Katie immediately burst into tears.

  “Come.” Wrapping her arm around the younger woman, Esther led her into the house and poured a cool drink and held the glass out to Katie, “Here.”

  “Thank ye.”

  “Can you tell me what happened?”

  Wordlessly Katie held the letter out to Esther.

  “Is it bad news?” Esther took the package with a trembling hand. The poor girl had already been through so much – she didn’t need any more suffering.

  Katie shook her head then indicated that the older woman read the contents of the letter. All was silent as Esther scrutinised all three epistles. When she had finished she set them down in her lap.

  “This is good news.”

  Katie nodded.

  “Very good news.”

  Katie smiled.

  “Then why the tears?”

  Katie shrugged. “I don’t know.”

  Esther smiled understandingly. “Sometimes joy does that.” She sat silently for a few moments, her nails tapping the package in her lap. “Does this change things I wonder?”

  Katie looked at her enquiringly.

  “The adoption. Renton received a letter after you’d left the house that it should all be finalised within a week or so. Now I’m wondering if you still want us to proceed?”

  “I don’t know,” Katie admitted.

  “It makes no difference to us. We will always love you as a daughter whether we formally adopt you or not. But now that your family will be joining you …” Esther let her sentence trail off.

  “I’ll … I’ll have to think about it. I … I don’t know how long it will be before … before they arrive here … or what they’ll do. They’re not … they’re not farmers. I don’t know what work they’ll do.”

  “Well, that’s something we can think about. Meanwhile, Katie you are legally free. You have already been pardoned.”

  Katie looked at her in surprise. “Do ye want me to leave then?”

  “No not at all.” Esther quickly stood up and moved to hug Katie. “We love you and want you to stay here. Whether you’re legally our daughter or not. I realise that when your family arrives that you will probably want to go with them, but until that time I hope you will be happy to stay here with us.”

  Katie nodded. “This … this feels like me home. I don’t want to leave. But I … I want to see me family too. Do ye understand? It’s not that I haven’t been happy. I have been. But they’re me own flesh and blood.”

  “I understand, Katie. Truly I do. But you must admit that it complicates matters. Your father’s letter said that they were coming out under the free settlers scheme but Katie, you are no longer a convict. Naturally that wouldn’t be known in Ireland yet but it could mean that your family is no longer eligible.”

  “What can we do?” Katie whispered.

  “I don’t know if we need to do anything. They may be required to refund the passage money once they arrive but then again they may not. I must admit that I don’t understand these things. But I will talk to Renton. I’m sure something can be arranged.”

  “Thank ye.”

  “And now why don’t you go and share your news with Rhiannon?”

  “Do ye think she would be pleased?”

  “Love always delights in that which is to the good of another. Didn’t we read that passage just the othe
r day?” At Katie’s nod, Esther smiled. “Well up you go then. Share your news with one who loves you like a sister. I’m sure she will be nothing but happy for you.”

  But as Katie ran up the stairs, Esther was not so sure she’d spoken the truth. It was so hard to gauge Rhiannon’s moods nowadays and there were times that Esther had the feeling that Rhiannon was hiding her true thoughts and feelings from everyone – perhaps even herself. Sighing, Esther picked up Katie’s empty glass and tried to shake off her disturbing thoughts as she carried it to the dishpan and rinsed and dried it.

  Rhiannon’s Journal

  November 19, 1830

  Katie has just left after telling me the most incredible story. It seems that her family are to immigrate to Australia. Katie is excited and confused and I can understand how she feels. I am so happy for her but so sad for me. I will hate to lose her but she has promised that she will not leave before her family arrives and perhaps not even then.

  I hope when she told me the news she did not guess my true feelings. I felt angry – insanely angry. It seems that every time there is something that is good in my life it ends up being taken away.

  Where is God in all this? When I look back over the past few years I’ve lost so much. Grandfather. My home. Lily. My legs. And now Katie. Will there be no end to the loss? Or will it always be like this – always loving someone only to lose them?

  “Have you been out walking?”

  Samuel looked up from undoing his boots and nodded.

  “As far as the Sanford house?”

  Again Samuel nodded. “I wanted to see how it’s progressing.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  Samuel dropped his eyes at his friend’s knowing look and struggled to remove his boot.

  “And how is it progressing?”

  “I think this town will have its own doctor by Christmas.”

  “So the good doctor was right.”

  “Mmm.” Now the second boot was giving Samuel trouble.

  “I have an announcement.”

  Samuel stopped and looked at his friend Mark. “That sounds serious.”

  “I’m returning to Port Macquarie.”

  With a final heave Samuel removed the boot and placed both by the door.

  “Why?”

  “Well if the truth be known I’m tired of cooking for you.”

  “Fair enough. And the real reason?” Samuel pulled out a chair and sat down opposite his friend and poured himself a cup of tea. He took a sip and pulled a face. “It’s cold.”

  “This is the reason I’m leaving. You need a wife. Someone that will cook for you and keep your tea warm and complain when you track mud inside.”

  “We’ve been over this before. But tell me why you’re moving. I thought you’d left Port Macquarie for good.”

  “So did I. But it seems I can’t get it out of my mind. Out of my heart,” and he thumped his chest to give emphasis to the words. “When the settlers started moving in I felt that my work was finished but God has shown me otherwise.”

  “What changed your mind?”

  “The convicts. I walk around here and I see them working in their gangs and I know that that’s what God has called me to do. He has placed a burden on my heart for the convicts that I can’t ignore.”

  Samuel stirred a spoonful of sugar into his tea as if the sweetness could counter the coldness. “There are convicts here.”

  “There’s a pastor here.”

  “Me?” Samuel was surprised.

  “Exactly.” Mark looked steadily at his friend.

  “I know I started out as a spiritual advisor on a convict ship but things have changed now. I have a class. And a congregation. Besides, I don’t have your burden for them.”

  “No, but you have a burden for the lost. The convicts are lost. Unlike the convicts in Port Macquarie, those here attend your church, they mix with the townsfolk to a degree and you are able to talk to them. In Port Macquarie they are still kept separate from the majority of the population.”

  “And there’s no minister there?”

  “None to the convicts.”

  Samuel put down his cup. It was really too cold to drink. Too cold and too sweet. “When do you go?”

  “By the end of the month.”

  “I’ll be sorry to see you go.”

  “I’m not going alone.”

  Samuel frowned. “Then what … who?”

  “Sarah Thornton has agreed to be my wife.”

  “The widow?”

  “I hope so. I wouldn’t be able to marry her if her husband was still living, now would I?”

  Samuel lent over and grasped Mark’s hard. “You sly thing. Congratulations.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You’ll be married before you go?”

  “If you’ll do the honours.”

  Samuel started gathering up the cups and plates. “Nothing would please me more.”

  Katie stood hesitantly by the door listening to the voices within. She wasn’t sure how she was going to say what she thought she should or what the others would think, but she had to say it. At her timid knock the voices ceased.

  “Come in.”

  Katie pushed open the door and entered the room.

  “Katie! You know that you don’t have to knock. Come child, what is it?” Esther’s voice was warm but also showed concern.

  “I’ve been thinking about the letter from me brother …” she stopped unsure how to go on.

  Renton folded his newspaper and set it to one side. “The letter about your family emigrating to Australia?”

  Katie nodded. “That’s the one.”

  “I’m not sure if I’ve told you this Katie, but I’m happy for you. Family is important and I think it’s wonderful that you will be united with yours.”

  “That’s what I wanted to talk to ye about.”

  The doctor and his wife shared a look, then Renton half turned in his chair so that he was facing Katie full on.

  “Go on.”

  “Before the letter came ye were going to adopt me.”

  The doctor nodded. “That’s true.”

  “Can ye still adopt me? Even if me da and brothers and sisters do come out?”

  Slowly the doctor nodded. “We still could. If that is what you want.”

  “It is. Ye … ye … since I’ve been here ye’ve all become me family. I don’t want to lose that.”

  “We’d still love you Katie,” Esther’s voice was full of emotion. “Nothing will change that. Adoption or no, you’d still be very precious to us.”

  “I know,” Katie choked on her words. “But I can have two families can’t I?”

  Esther nodded and the doctor stroked his chin.

  “Is this to do with your pardon?”

  Katie gave him a questioning look.

  “You know that you’ve already been pardoned?” At Katie’s nod he went on, “Nothing changes that. Whether we adopt you or not, you are still free.”

  “I understand that.” Katie turned and walked over to the window and looked out. “But I’m not free. Not really. Not in me heart. I belong here and I know it. I don’t want to be disloyal – I love me da and Kieran and all the others – but ye’re all in my heart too. I want ye to know that and how better can I tell ye than by allowing ye to adopt me?”

  Katie heard a scraping of chairs and the next moment she was engulfed in Esther’s arms. “Oh Katie, we do love you. So very much.”

  Katie’s tears choked off her words, “I know.”

  “Katie,” Renton spoke from the table. He waited until Katie had dried her tears and both she and Esther were facing him before he spoke again. “We don’t have to adopt you to prove your love for us or our love for you. We know that you return our love. We don’t need to do any thing more.”

  Katie groped for her handkerchief. “So ye don’t want to adopt me anymore?”

  “I didn’t say that. It’s just that making it legal is a serious step. We don’t want you doing it out of grat
itude or some other misguided emotion. Have you thought about how your family will feel?”

  Katie nodded. “I have. And it’s complicated. I’m not sure if they’ll understand. Not at first. But I think when I explain they will. This is what I want to do. What I have to do.”

  The doctor’s eyes gazed at her steadily for a few moments. “All right then. I’ll see the magistrate as soon as possible and organise it.”

  “Thank ye.” Without hesitation, Katie moved across the room and threw her arms around the doctor’s neck. “Thank ye so much.”

  “There, there,” the doctor patted Katie’s head. “You should know that we’ll always love you.”

  “I do. I do. And now I’ll always belong to you all too. I’m going to tell Rhiannon.”

  “What do you think of all that?” the doctor asked his wife once Katie had quitted the room.

  “I think it’s lovely that she wants to belong to our family.”

  “But why?”

  “I noticed you had reservations. I just don’t understand them.”

  “I want to do what’s best for everyone.”

  Esther moved and sat down opposite her husband at the table. “And you don’t think this is?”

  The doctor was quiet for a long moment. “How would you feel if another family adopted Rhiannon?”

  “It wouldn’t be easy. But the circumstances are different. Katie’s been torn from her family and we’ve filled that void for her.”

  “Yes but her family are going to be joining her soon.”

  “She doesn’t know that for certain. There’s been no further letter. It may not happen.”

  The doctor lent back and closed his eyes. “I just don’t want anyone getting hurt. Not Katie, not Rhiannon, not Katie’s family and certainly not you.”