Can't Stop Loving You

by Lisa Jackson

  “Kendrick, can we please finish this later?” she asked, not wanting to leave him hanging.

  He sighed with frustration and shook his head. “Do whatever you feel is necessary.”

  She stood for a second looking between the two of them. The two people who she cared about most were trippin’. Both of them were in emotional states and needed her.

  “Kaycee can we go—please!” Sidra cried from the driver’s seat.

  She sighed. “I’ll talk with you later, Kendrick, I promise.”

  Kendrick didn’t wait around to reply, he turned on his heel and started jogging away. Kaycee called his name and when he didn’t turn around, she got inside the car with a heavy sigh.

  She watched from the passenger window as his speed picked up and her heart longed to follow behind him. The resolution was so close and now here she was, back to square one. She continued staring until he turned the corner. When she turned around the first thought that entered her mind was that Sidra had better have a real emergency.

  Chapter 17

  “Pregnant!”

  Sidra responded with a tearful nod of her head.

  “Sidra, you are almost thirty years old. How did you slip up and get pregnant, and who’s the father?”

  Sidra took a deep breath as she held on to the mug of hot coffee with both hands. A wadded tissue was pressed between the mug and her palm to catch the tears that continued to fall.

  “It was a mistake. It just happened.”

  “You weren’t using anything?” Kaycee asked.

  Sidra shook her head. “I was trying to do the celibacy thing like you.”

  Kaycee rolled her eyes. Sidra probably didn’t know how to spell vow, let alone keep one.

  “Who’s the father?”

  Sidra paused for a few seconds before mumbling, “Hampton Barnes.”

  “Hampton Barnes who was at the Jireh event?”

  She hoped she wasn’t hearing her friend correctly. Hampton Barnes was an arrogant man who thought he was the master of suaveness. He was also a friend of Paul’s and that fact did not score any points with her.

  Sidra nodded.

  “Have you told him yet?”

  She shook her head.

  “Are you going to?” She asked the question because she really wanted to know what Sidra intended to do with the baby. Her theory was if you did the crime you needed to do the time.

  Sidra shrugged. “I don’t know yet. All I know is that I feel so stupid!”

  “Why didn’t you use protection, Sid?” Kaycee asked. “We always talk about protecting ourselves from diseases. Why didn’t you use something?”

  Sidra shrugged and wiped her nose. “Things got out of control. Before I knew it, I was naked and we were rolling all over the bed. Protection slipped my mind.”

  “And now you’re going to be a mother,” Kaycee said. She wasn’t getting bent out of shape by the fact that her friend was with child. What bothered her was the fact that Sidra was a professional woman with common sense. She was also a woman who desired a family, yet had no prospects for a husband. In the back of her mind, she couldn’t help but wonder if her friend had put herself in this position on purpose.

  “Look, whatever you decide to do, I’ll support you,” Kaycee announced. “But you do know my feelings toward abortion. I want no part of that.”

  “I’m not going to have an abortion,” Sidra emphatically replied.

  “Then what will you do?” Kaycee asked.

  Sidra shrugged her shoulders. “I guess I’ll have to have it.”

  Kaycee snorted, “Yeah, right, you hardly take good care of yourself.”

  Sidra’s head dropped to the side as though she couldn’t believe that Kaycee had said that.

  “Excuse me, but I am a grown woman. I can make decisions for myself.”

  “You’re right,” Kaycee said and leaned over to give her friend a hug. “I’m sorry, girl, it’s just that I can’t believe this.”

  “You? How do you think I feel?” Sidra buried her face in her hands. “So much for living the single life.”

  Kaycee stroked her back. “We will get through this, Sid. I will support you in every way that I can, I promise. Children are not accidents, they are gifts from God.”

  Sidra curled up on the sofa, embraced one of the throw pillows and yawned.

  “Kaycee, I know I say and do some really stupid things, but thanks for being my friend anyway.”

  “Don’t mention it,” Kaycee replied.

  “Will you pray for me?” Sidra whispered sleepily.

  Kaycee was surprised by her friend’s request. Sidra had always opposed anything dealing with the church, which surprised Kaycee because her friend was a preacher’s kid. But Kaycee was no angel herself even though growing up in Katherine and Russell’s home had meant everybody went to church.

  Kaycee had been obedient, but when she went off to college, the party life consumed her and she turned away from her parents’ ways. It wasn’t until she and Paul got together that she began to go again. However, the church Paul attended wasn’t necessarily her cup of tea. Everything seemed to be based more on what you had than on who you were and that disturbed Kaycee. She didn’t want to be known by the pastor only because she was one of the largest tithers in the house.

  Since her breakup with Paul, she had visited a few churches here and there, but she hadn’t found the one she was looking for. Kaycee walked over and kneeled on the floor beside the sofa where Sidra lay.

  She wasn’t perfect, either. She made many mistakes, but Sidra needed her. She closed her eyes and said a silent prayer for her friend.

  Chapter 18

  There would be no conversation with Kendrick that evening. When Kaycee finally got Sidra calmed down, the two hung out for a while. By the time Sidra went home, it was late. Kaycee called Kendrick the second Sidra backed out the driveway, but his phone just rang. She tried to call him twice before she went to bed but she still couldn’t reach him.

  Sleep evaded Kaycee. Her thoughts were on the man who played lead role in her dreams.

  Jireh’s morning crowd had grown into a comfortable mixed crowd of regulars: early-morning walkers, senior citizens, self-employed business owners and college students.

  Kaycee recognized many of them as she entered the front door and greeted them with a hello and a warm smile. After exchanging pleasantries with La Jetta and Nichole, who were working the front end, she took a deep breath and headed toward the back.

  Melody was busy prepping vegetables for salads while Rafael busied himself with side dishes. Otis sat on a stool propped up before a table where he was going over paperwork and barking out orders.

  “Hi, Ms. Kaycee,” Melody greeted.

  “Hi, Melody, how are you?”

  “Could be better.”

  A concerned frown lined Kaycee’s forehead. “What’s going on?”

  Melody shook her head. “It’s not me you should be worried about.”

  “What are you talking about?” Kaycee asked.

  Melody stepped closer. “Everybody trippin’ around here and I’m just keeping to myself because the air is negative.”

  “Negative?” Kaycee repeated.

  Melody nudged her head toward the back. “First it was Mr. Otis. He came up in here acting like a grouch, but I know he got good reason because he hurt his ankle and all, but Mr. Rick is another story. He came up in here, didn’t say good morning or nothing. When I went back there to talk to him, he advised me to go back to the kitchen.”

  “He said that?” Kaycee asked in disbelief. Despite how much the staff tried Kendrick he never lost his cool.

  Melody nodded. “So, I’m going to stay in here and do my work, then go home.”

  Kaycee looked toward the offices and shook her head. She had a good idea why he was acting that way.

  “Don’t worry, Melody, we’ll work it out.”

  Just at that moment the office door opened and Kendrick stormed out. His eyes surveyed the room b
efore stopping on Kaycee. The gentleness that she was accustomed to seeing was missing, replaced by a coldness as he looked her up and down.

  “Where’s your uniform?”

  “What uniform?” Kaycee asked. She had never been required to wear one before.

  “Everyone in the back kitchen must wear a white smock.”

  “Since when?”

  “Since always,” he replied. “Get a smock, Ms. Jordan.”

  He walked away before Kaycee could get a word in. Melody gave her an I-told-you-so look.

  With an exasperated sigh, Kaycee trudged off in search of a smock. On the way, anger and frustration built up inside. She knew that Kendrick’s distant behavior had a lot to do with her choosing to stay with Sidra over him the previous day. It wasn’t as though she hadn’t tried to make contact with him afterwards.

  The rest of that day, the back of the restaurant resembled a communist sweat shop. The tone had been set. There was no talking, only production. Kendrick saw to it by emerging from his office every so often to comment if it looked like they were off task. By lunchtime, he had to don a smock himself and jump in due to Otis’s inability to move around.

  Kendrick and Kaycee worked side by side without exchanging a word. The tension was so thick it could be cut with a knife.

  A couple of times they bumped hands reaching for the same utensil, but rather than apologize as they normally would have, they continued to work in silence. When Kendrick had to reach for a pan above the area where Kaycee was working, he accidentally bumped into her again. Kaycee looked up at him as if waiting for him to apologize, but he only returned her stare. Finally, she rolled her eyes and moved out of the way.

  After the lunch crowd had tapered down, Melody went on lunch and Otis went home. Rafael stepped out in the back to smoke a cigarette, leaving Kendrick and Kaycee in the kitchen.

  Kaycee was in the middle of frosting a cake. She was so engrossed in what she was doing she did not notice Kendrick approaching her from behind.

  It wasn’t until she felt him standing close behind her that she inhaled a quick breath. Rather than acknowledge his presence, she continued working without a word.

  Kendrick slid his arms around her waist, fitting her body tightly against his and placed a kiss on the back of her neck. His tender act caused her to exhale. She didn’t like being mad at him.

  His hands moved up to her waist where he gently turned her around so that they were facing each other. There was no need for words, for their eyes showed it all. The pain, the exhaustion, the love, the apology.

  He slowly lifted her onto the work table and wrapped her in his arms. Kaycee closed her eyes, savoring his touch. She needed his touch. They pulled apart, but their lips moved closer together like magnets until they met with an electrifying kiss.

  What had started out as a gentle brush of lips against lips quickly turned deep, passionate and needy.

  A guttural groan escaped Kaycee’s throat as he teased her, pleased her and eased her with tongue skills that promised more, had they been in another place.

  Bracing himself firmly between her thighs, Kendrick pulled her tightly against him and kissed her forehead.

  “I hate it when we fight.”

  “Me, too,” she murmured, caressing his back. “I’m sorry for leaving you.”

  “You were just being a good friend. I can’t be mad for that. Is she okay?”

  Kaycee looked up at him with love-filled eyes. “I don’t want to talk about Sidra right now. It’s all about you and me.”

  Kendrick chuckled. “We better stop before somebody walks in on us.”

  “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn,” Kaycee replied, borrowing the line from Gone With the Wind.

  “I know, I would like to spend some time with you. How about I come over tonight?”

  Kaycee’s face lit up, “I would love that!”

  “I’ll drop by around eight,” he said, and covered her mouth with his own once again to taste the sweet nectar beyond her lush lips.

  At that moment the back door opened. Kaycee jumped off of the table and scrambled away from Kendrick. She turned her back to make it seem like she was working on something.

  Rafael entered. He looked at Kendrick then at Kaycee and back to Kendrick and smiled knowingly.

  “Ms. Kaycee,” he called out her name.

  Kaycee spun around. “Yes, Rafael?”

  “It appears you have some frosting on the back of your smock,” he announced, walking past her toward the dining room.

  Kaycee flushed with embarrassment. When Rafael disappeared behind the door, the two fell against each other in silent laughter.

  “We would make terrible secret agents,” Kaycee whispered. “The British Secret Service would not have either of us.”

  Kendrick nodded in agreement as he held her against him, not wanting to depart from her touch.

  He pressed his lips against hers again, “I…can’t…stop.”

  “I know,” she murmured against his neck, her tongue tasting the sweet warmth. “But we have to.”

  He pulled back, his breath ragged. “I think it’s probably best that you go home. Get some rest and I’ll be there tonight, okay?”

  “Okay,” she replied. They exchanged one more kiss before pulling apart. Kaycee’s legs felt like jelly as she walked away, all the while knowing that this night would be the one to change things between them forever.

  Chapter 19

  At eight on the nose, Kaycee’s doorbell rang. Before answering, she padded across the plush carpet in her bare feet to the guest bath for a final check in the mirror.

  The simple beige silk spaghetti-strap dress with flowing skirt looked both romantic and comfortable and complemented the wet-look curly hairstyle she’d chosen. She topped off her look with a pink-and-beige orchid pinned in her hair.

  Soft music and candlelight provided the perfect backdrop for a romantic evening. Kendrick had called ahead to let her know that he was bringing the food and she’d told him that she would provide the dessert. What he didn’t know was that dessert lay beneath the folds of her dress.

  She opened the door and smiled at the sight of him standing there as he had before, laden with bags but this time also carrying a dozen red roses.

  “For me!” she squealed with excitement. Instinctively they leaned in at the same time for a kiss as if they’d been doing it forever.

  “You look really good,” he commented, stepping back to admire her.

  Kaycee blushed. “Thanks. You look pretty good yourself.”

  His orange shirt complemented his bronze complexion but its pairing with the casual black slacks did justice to his powerful build.

  She took his hand and led him into the family room where a romantic setting for two awaited them. The coffee table was laid out Japanese-style with red silk oriental placemats and matching throw pillows on the floor for seating. The only lighting was generated by two slender candles in the center of the table and the fire in the gas fireplace.

  Kendrick placed the bag on the table.

  “You know, it seems like you’re always bringing me food,” Kaycee teased, sidling up beside him like a playful girl. “What do you have in there?”

  “I picked up a little something from one of my favorite restaurants,” he replied as he reached inside the bag. “We have salmon pizza, creamy curry soup, grilled fresh fruit—and to drink—white cranberry mojitos!”

  She smacked her lips. “Sounds delicious.”

  Kendrick was about to lay out the spread when he noticed that neo-soul artist Kem’s CD was playing.

  He paused, his eyes lighting up, “Don’t tell me you like Kem, too?”

  “I love Kem. Have you seen him in concert?” Kendrick nodded, “I caught him at the jazz series at Stone Mountain.”

  “Me, too!” Kaycee said, amazed once more by another shared interest.

  Before she could think about it, Kendrick took her hand and pulled her into his arms for a slow dance in the middl
e of the floor.

  His actions caught her off guard. Being spontaneously pulled into dance was not something that happened to her every day. When the song ended and another began, his pace slowed down.

  “You know, this song has a lot of meaning to me,” he announced in a whisper.

  “How so?”

  “Because it reminds me of something familiar.”

  “And what would that be?”

  “Us,” he replied.

  Kaycee paused, wondering if her ears had deceived her.

  “Us?”

  Kendrick proceeded to explain by reciting the lyrics as Kem sang. Each time he sang a line, Kaycee would cut in with a comment.

  “But when we met, neither of us was acting perfect,” she replied in response to the line about meeting the perfect stranger. She recollected stumbling around on one stiletto. Never would she have guessed that a situation so negative would have drawn them so close together.

  Kendrick continued singing about how the sun was shining on Kaycee.

  “But it was dark out,” she interjected.

  He ignored her comment and stated how the Lord was smiling on him.

  Kaycee sighed with a sweet smile. “He was?”

  He finished with the chorus which also happened to be the title of the song, stressing the words that he couldn’t stop loving her. His words tapered off as he stared deeply into her eyes, letting Kaycee know that he was very serious.

  Her breath caught as his confession pierced her heart and illuminated her body like a ray of sunshine. Feelings of joy and contentment lifted her. She paused before returning the sentiment wanting to make sure that she wasn’t just imagining anything and that they were both on the same page.

  “Did you say what I think you said?” she asked.

  He nodded.

  “You…you’re saying you love me?” she asked softly, wanting confirmation.

  He closed his eyes and slowly nodded. “I don’t know when it happened, but you were right when you said that everything about us seems so right. I think that’s when I knew I loved you, too.”