Until I Met You

by Jaimie Roberts

  Jaden’s laughter radiated around the street and I could hear him shouting at the poor paramedics that were trying to treat him.

  “I can’t believe they’re fussing over that arsehole. Is this what you call justice?” Seth’s face searched the policeman’s for answers, but the officer just motioned us forward, not willing to give any sign of humanity away.

  I was ushered quite quickly into the ambulance after Jaden’s outburst. I was glad about that. I didn’t want to ever see that man again. I knew I would though. I had already gone through this once. I didn’t want to have to do it again.

  The paramedic smiled at me and went to work inspecting my nose. It was still bleeding and a little sore, but they soon had me patched up.

  “It looks like you’ve escaped a broken nose, but still best we take you to the hospital to get checked out by a doctor.” The ambulance lady smiled sympathetically towards me as I thanked her. I could tell the policeman was eager to get some answers, but I didn’t want to go into details with him right now. My head was pounding and pain was suddenly radiating all over. Feeling hot now, I pulled my coat off, but heard Seth gasp.

  “Jesus, you’re back is bleeding. Her back is bleeding!” he shouted in panic. He was almost frantic with worry. It would have been so adorable if it wasn’t for the huge mess I was in.

  They inspected my back and sure enough I had been cut. I didn’t even feel the knife at the time it happened. I could feel it all too much now that I was aware of it.

  “Luckily it’s not too deep. I think it will need a couple of stitches though.” The lady smiled at Seth and he seemed to relax a little after that. He wrapped his big strong arms around me as the ambulance left. I slunk into the curve of his body feeling safer than I had in days. I knew we needed to talk, and I knew I owed him some answers—but for now—I was happy just being in his arms. Feeling him close.

  The shaking subsided a little and I could tell that Seth was relaxing the more my shaking calmed. I could feel it in his arms—he cared for me.

  At the hospital, I was looked at by a very nice, handsome doctor who didn’t look old enough to be a doctor. In the time I was there, I learnt that he was originally from Jamaica, moved to London when he was three years old, and had two brothers and three sisters, two of which were following in his footsteps.

  I was thoroughly inspected, stitched up and given medication for the pain.

  As I was there, I asked Seth to give my mum and dad a call. I told him to say that they were not to worry and that I was planning on coming to see them tomorrow. I knew they would all come down here otherwise. I felt like I needed a break again anyway.

  The policeman quickly came to see me after the doctor told him it was okay to come in to question me. I gave him a statement of the whole story and was glad that Seth wasn’t with me through the whole ordeal. I only gave him snippets of what happened in the past. I told the officer that if he wanted to know more, then he would have to look up my records. I didn’t want to have to relive that awful night.

  As the policeman left, I could see through the door that another policeman was also interviewing Seth. I could see he looked pissed, and nodded his head a few times before catching my eye. He said a few words, but his expression was clear. He was eager to get to me. They seemed to notice and I caught them both walking away as Seth hurried to be by my side.

  “I’ve just realised something,” I said as soon as he walked in. I scooted towards the end of the bed and Seth was there straight away to lend a hand.

  “What’s that, Angel?”

  “I forgot to give you my mum and dad’s number. I suppose I better give them a call.” He hesitated somewhat, causing me to look up. The look of guilt on his face didn’t go unnoticed.

  “I have a confession to make.”

  I didn’t know whether I was going to like what I heard, but had to hear it nonetheless. “What is it?”

  He sighed a little, unsure of whether I was going to be angry with him. I could tell. It was written all over his face.

  “I drove down to your parent’s house earlier today. I wanted to find out what was wrong. When they saw me they immediately panicked and asked where you were. When I told them I wasn’t with you, and hadn’t seen you for three days they went crazy. They said you had lied to them, and told them that I had been staying with you and keeping you safe. When they realised I didn’t have a clue what they were on about they told me that you had been attacked when you were fifteen, and that the man that did it had now been released from jail. That was as far as they went with the details. I wanted to hear it from you, myself.”

  I looked sheepishly down to the floor. I felt ashamed and a little guilty for putting Seth through all of this. “I was trying to protect you. I didn’t want to embroil you in my mess. It just wasn’t fair.” I felt his finger lift my chin up as he gazed into my eyes.

  “I thought I had already told you how I felt. You’re not getting rid of me that easily, my angel. You’re stuck with me now. I don’t want to ever let you go.”

  Those words hit me like a punching bag. I could feel the familiar lump in my throat form and I had to swallow hard so as not to cry. I was still determined not to cry.

  “How did you find me?” I was trying to change the subject. I couldn’t cope with the emotional wreck I was becoming.

  “I drove like a bat out of hell back to London. As soon as I got here, I marched my way through your office, trying to find you, and when I saw you weren’t there, I demanded to speak with Jonathan. I explained to him about where I had been and nearly ripped his head off for not telling me sooner. I then demanded he tell me where you were so I could come and get you. When he told me the name of the street, and that you were on your own, I nearly had a heart attack. I don’t know what I would have done if I hadn’t come across you when I did. I’m so glad I went now. I debated it for hours about what to do before I set off. I knew you wouldn’t tell me and I cared too much about you to ever let this go—to ever let you go.”

  I felt my walls collapse around me as I took him in my arms. I loved this man with every fibre of my being and there was no escaping this now. He was my world.

  After speaking with the doctor again, and calling my mum and dad to let them know I was okay—Seth brought me home. It was the first time he had ever been in my little flat and it felt good to know he was here with me.

  Seth made us both sandwiches and a nice hot cup of tea before settling down for a cuddle on the sofa. “I don’t want to push,” he said, surprising me somewhat. “Whatever happened in the past, I want to know, but I don’t want to push you. I want you to tell me when you’re ready. I would like to tell you something though. Something I haven’t told anyone in a very long time.”

  Reluctantly, I pulled away from his embrace so he could continue with his story. He pulled his wallet out from his back pocket, an expression of pain etched in his face. I felt an instant need to take that look of pain away. It was the most gut-wrenching look upon a man I had ever seen.

  He pulled a photo out, but stopped and looked at me. “Have you heard of a case from over twenty years ago—a case involving the Delaney’s?”

  I thought for a moment. The name sounded oddly familiar. I searched through my brain to see if I could find anything that would register, and suddenly it came to me.

  “That was the story of a young girl who was attacked and raped in her home when she was babysitting her brother.” He nodded his head, clutching the photograph in his hand. He gritted his teeth waiting for me to continue.

  “The little boy was only five. He was woken up by the noise and found his sister being attacked. He got his dad’s gun out from the closet and shot the rapist. Although he killed the rapist, the same bullet went through him and into his sister. Although she survived, it hit her spine, and she will never be able to walk again.”

  I could see the tears flooding Seth’s face, his body clenched in pure agony. It was then that I realised. “Oh God, you were the little boy w
eren’t you? You’re Seth Delaney.” He nodded, looking all too consumed with pain. It was excruciating to witness. It was then I realised the reason why he was so frantic when he saw my back bleeding.

  On instinct, I moved towards Seth and straddled him. I kissed each tear and soothed him as he cried in my arms.

  “If it wasn’t for me, my sister would be able to walk.”

  “Seth, if it wasn’t for what you did, your sister might not even be here. You were five for goodness sake. How could you blame yourself for this? You were just a child. An innocent child who saw his sister being hurt by a monster. You were only trying to protect her—only trying to make him stop.” He looked down at the photograph and it was only then that I saw who was in it. His big sister, Carla.

  I remembered as a little girl how much this shocked everyone. The perpetrator had attacked several other girls before that night. He would watch and wait until he could catch a young girl in their homes. As soon as he knew they were on their own, he would break-in, rape them, and murder them. The only reason why I remember so much is last year on the twentieth anniversary they did a program on the TV about crimes that shook England.

  “I carry this photo everyday with me as a reminder of what I did to her. I’ve never been able to forgive myself no matter how much my sister protests. I love Carla so much and it kills me to know that I did this to her.”

  It tormented me to see him this way. The confident, cocky man I first met all those weeks ago was a shell of himself. All because he had been carrying and hiding this guilt around with him all these years. It made me remember my own guilt, guilt that I had been carrying for the past eleven years. I’ve never been able to forgive myself for what happened on that night.

  Looking into Seth’s sad eyes, I cradled his face in my hands. “Seth, you can’t keep blaming yourself for this. You’re sister is still here on this earth because of you. I bet your family have been eternally grateful to you all these years for saving her. You not only saved your sister, you stopped him from ever doing it again. You have to let this go. You have to move on and stop torturing yourself. I’m sure Carla doesn’t want you feeling this way. I’m sure she would want nothing more than to see you smile—see you happy.”

  He grabbed my hands gently and stared intently into my eyes. “You make me happy. You’re the only one who has ever made me happy. When I’m with you it’s almost as though I feel I can live again—feel I can let myself be this joyful. That’s why I sought after you. That’s why I can’t let you go. You’ve shown me lightness in the dark I thought would never come—shown me a future filled with hope and opportunity. A life I thought I could never have—never deserve. I love you, Angelina Bradshaw. I don’t ever want to let you go. Be mine and I’ll promise to love you as long as you’ll have me.”

  I smiled as I melted in his arms. I felt so elated that he was able to trust me with his secret—was able to let me in and tell me he loved me.

  “I love you, too, Seth Jacobs—and I never thought I’d say this—but I do want to be yours—and I want you to let me love you as long as you’ll have me, too.”

  We kissed tenderly for a moment, but for the first time, I didn’t feel the need to rip his clothes off. We were both content just to be in each other’s arms—delighted in the knowledge that we were both in love with one another.

  The feeling of release was immense. I never knew that letting go would feel this good. I wanted to tell him my story—wanted so much to share that fateful night, especially since he had trusted me with his. But I knew that now wasn’t the right time. Now was about him and me. Now was about us. I wasn’t going to let Jaden spoil that—not ever.

  Jonathan called round a little while later to make sure I was okay. He had obviously got the phone call from my mum and I was kind of glad she beat me to it. I didn’t want to relive the same ordeal on the phone to Jonathan all over again. I had already had enough for one night.

  I asked Jonathan for some time out as I knew I would look battered and bruised for a while. Not a good look when you’re showing people around houses. I only wanted a few days, but he gave me two weeks to completely heel, take the time I needed to relax, and be with family. I felt eternally indebted to Jonathan for that. He could sense that of course and told me not to be so silly. He offered to take Jerry again, which I was grateful for. I actually think he enjoyed Jerry’s company. He said that he would look after him as long as I needed him to.

  After a cup of tea and stern warning from Jonathan to relax whilst I was away, he took Jerry, and left Seth and I to be alone. It was nice to feel Seth near me—be in the same bed as me. We slept there all night in each other’s arms and it was the first time I had felt I had a decent night’s sleep. The painkillers may have helped somewhat—and I did need to take another two during the night when everything started throbbing again—but I knew having him here with me was healing my heart.

  The morning was a pain though trying to get a wash. I was told I couldn’t get my stitches wet for the first forty-eight hours, so I had to lean over in the bath for a quick wash on top, and then was able to shower from my waist down. It’s certainly times like this you appreciate how much the little things in life you’re able to do, that you would normally take for granted. I was bruised though, and it showed quite badly on my body. It was sore to look at, and even more sore to touch.

  Seth’s knuckles were a bit swollen and sore, but he was glad of the pain. He said the pain was a reminder of something good in his life. I couldn’t help but smile. I kissed each one of his swollen knuckles and couldn’t help but notice the love he felt in his eyes for me. I didn’t doubt him for a second. Especially now after all that he’s done for me. He never gave up, and if it wasn’t for his tenaciousness, I wouldn’t be here now. He was the love of my life, and there was denying or no running away from it anymore.

  Seth made some calls and we ventured over to his place to pack some bags. He already had most of his stuff in storage, so it was mainly clothing and toiletries to pack. We made arrangements that we would stay at my parent’s house for a week, and then get back in time for Seth’s moving in day.

  We took the Jeep as Seth’s Jaguar would never fit all our luggage. The F-type was beautiful, but definitely lacking in the boot space department. I couldn’t help feel a little disappointed that we weren’t driving down in it though. It certainly would have been an experience.

  On the way there, Seth seemed chirpier than ever and it was terribly infectious. By the time we reached my parent’s house, my mum and dad couldn’t believe just how happy we both looked—especially after what had happened the previous night. If it wasn’t for the cuts and bruises, they would have thought that nothing had ever taken place.

  They were singing Seth’s praises for saving their daughter, and this time I was more than happy to let them. He was the one knight in shining armour I didn’t have to carry any guilt over. We just loved each other. Period.

  We had a full house by the evening with Julia, Jack, and David in attendance for dinner. Everyone was happy that Jaden was finally locked up again and I was safe.

  After dinner I was able to sneak a bit of time alone with Jack and David in the garden. I wanted to speak to them for the first time in eleven years. I needed them to know how sorry I was.

  We sat together on a three-seater swinging seat, sipping beer and gazing off into the stars. I somehow felt more confident in the dark. What I was about to say was going to be extremely hard for me, but I knew it had to be said.

  “Guys, I just want you both to know how sorry I am for that night. I have never been able to forgive myself for what happened. You have both been my rock and I love you guys—more than you’ll ever know.”

  David abruptly stopped swinging and turned to face me. “Angelina, you know how we feel about you. You never, ever, ever have to apologise to us for what happened. Jack and I would do it again in a heartbeat.”

  “Here, here,” Jack said raising his bottle. “I don’t want to ever h
ear that crazy talk from you again, Angelina. We’re all here, alive and well—and quite frankly, dear girl, if it wasn’t for what happened, your sister and I may never have got together. I’ve always been her hero ever since that day. You don’t know what that does to a man’s ego.”

  We all started laughing and we immediately relaxed. I knew deep down they felt this way, but it didn’t stop the guilt from surfacing. I was just glad that I had finally stepped up and told them both how I felt.

  “You really like him, don’t you?” Jack said, interrupting my thoughts.

  “I love him,” I said truthfully. Jack and David looked at each other with shocked smiles.

  “Wow, I never thought I see the day that Angelina Bradshaw would be in love.”

  I pushed at David’s arm. “That was very hard for me to admit you know.”

  He held his hands up, laughing. “I know, I know. It’s really good to see. I’m happy for you, Angelina. I really am. You deserve to find happiness.”

  Rubbing his arm, I thanked him, and we both just sat for a little while longer, sipping on our beers. “You know, Seth doesn’t know the whole story yet. I will tell him when we get back to London, but I would appreciate it if you guys—”

  “I know,” Jack said, interrupting me. “We won’t say anything. That’s your story to tell.”

  My mum made up Julia’s room again for Seth, which we were both kind of happy about. Now that we knew we loved each other, the temptation of being alone would have been too much. We both wouldn’t have done anything—not under my parents roof—but it still would have been torture nonetheless. I knew when that day would happen, because I knew that would be the day he had all of me. The day I would tell him my story.

  The week went in quick—a little too quick. Everyone was fussing over me like a child. Sometimes it was nice, but other times were damn right annoying. I knew why they were all like that though, so I kept telling myself not to be so bloody ungrateful and just suck it up.