When In Rome...Find Yourself: A Sweet New Adult Romance

by Lena Mae Hill

  “More than okay,” Ned whispered back. She could feel his breath on her neck, sending chill bumps cascading across her skin. His fingers brushed down the side of her neck, back up, whispering across her ear in a way that made her want to melt and scream at the same time. He traced her jawline, stopping at her chin, and turned her face towards his. She closed her eyes, but instead of his lips meeting hers, his fingers did. They moved over her cheeks with the same tremulous touch he’d used the night before.

  Her heart pounded as she waited, waited. The pads of his fingers were moving along the side of her nose, as if he were tracing her features, drawing her with his fingers, making her real. As if she only existed in his imagination until his hands brought her into the world, into reality, the same way he did his art. She tried to breathe, but her breath caught as his fingers swept across the ends of her eyelashes. Her eyes fluttered open.

  Ned was breathing fast, shallow, his fingers tracing her cheekbones, across her temples, her forehead, along the bridge of her nose, down across her lips, where they lingered.

  Finally, she couldn’t stand it. She was tired of waiting for guys to call her to their rooms, to want to be with her, to make the first move. If he wasn’t going to do it, she would. She opened her lips and let her teeth graze his fingertips. He inhaled sharply, and then she was pushing his hand away, leaning in. Placing her hands on his shoulders, she pushed him back. He caught her around the waist and pulled her down with him, on him.

  She clamped her knees to his hips and pressed into him, feeling the hardness of him against her. Her lips found his, pressed against them, harder than the night before. This time, he met her with equal pressure, sliding his tongue into her mouth. They rolled sideways onto the bed and lay facing each other, locked together. She thought she’d never let go. It didn’t matter what had happened to her before. This was something new, someone new. This was worth falling apart for.

  CHAPTER twenty

  As Rory was leaving class the next day, her phone buzzed. She’d already missed a couple calls from her mom, and she knew she couldn’t avoid it any longer. She’d have to tell her what happened. At least the abbreviated version.

  “Hey, Mom,” she said. “Everything is fine. Don’t worry.”

  “I tried to reach you yesterday,” Winnie said. “Are you alright? You didn’t call. I was so worried.”

  “I’m sorry,” Rory said, passing a few of Ned’s fellow art students. Who hadn’t seen his work. “My phone died. I texted when I got home.”

  “I know, but that was so late where you are. Is everything alright?”

  “It’s fine,” Rory said. “Actually, I got a little lost. But I found my way back, and I’m fine, so that’s the important part, right?”

  “Oh, no,” Winnie said. “I knew it. I knew I shouldn’t let you go over there all by yourself. What happened?”

  “I just took a walk and got a little turned around,” Rory said, making her way out of the building. She scanned for Ned, her heart starting to beat harder just thinking about him. “Like I said, I’m fine. I didn’t even freak out too bad.”

  “Do you want to come home?” Winnie asked. “We can change your flight and bring you back right away.”

  “Mom. I told you. It’s no big deal.”

  “You could have been really hurt,” Winnie said. “I should have just scheduled a trip for the whole family. You shouldn’t be alone over there.”

  “I’m not alone,” Rory said. “I have friends, and my classes, and my house mom is really great.” She wasn’t about to tell her mom what had happened to Theresa’s family. Then she’d really freak out that Rory was in danger.

  “I think you should come home,” Winnie said. “It’s not safe there for a girl to be traveling alone. To think what could have happened!”

  “But it didn’t,” Rory said, finding a sliver of shade next to the building. She was already sunburned from the day before. “I kept my head and I made my way back on my own. It was actually…well, it did suck at the time, but I overcame it. It’s amazing here, too. And I’m doing okay on my own.”

  “Let me see if I can change your flight.”

  “Mom. No. You’re not listening.”

  “I knew this would happen.”

  “What, that I’d get lost? Or that I’d learn to figure things out on my own?”

  “Honeybun, you know that I think you’re capable of that.”

  “Then stop saying I need to come home. I’m staying.”

  “Oh.” Rory could hear her mother clinking dishes. It was early there, only seven in the morning. “Well, okay then. If you’re sure. But you just say the word and I’ll call up the airlines in a flash.”

  “Okay, I promise.”

  She hung up just as Ned emerged from the building. Her heart leapt into her throat. For a half second, she thought he’d ignore her, the way Jack did after their hookups, like she wasn’t there at all until the next time. But Ned smiled and made his way over. They hadn’t hooked up, not all the way. But she didn’t know how these things worked. She didn’t know how to act with him, what to do when he took her hand. It felt so good to be with someone. Not like something that would happen to her, the love-allergic crazy girl.

  But that’s how it was. They hung out that day, and every day. She went to her classes, and on the class outings, and she hung out with the girls. And Ned did, too. When they were with the others, he still held her hand. He didn’t hide it, didn’t leave it until the last person had gone home and no one would see. But they had their moments then, too. Every night, she tiptoed into his room, not wanting Theresa to hear. She didn’t think Theresa would care, but it wasn’t something really wanted their host mother to know about, either.

  And she didn’t tell the girls. Not yet. She would, maybe, at some point. She told them everything was good with him, and that they hadn’t hooked up, but she didn’t go into detail. “We’re taking it slow,” she said when Kristina pressed.

  “That’s good,” Maggie said. “It’s good that he’s okay with that.”

  “I think I just need to, after the last time,” Rory said.

  “Don’t take it too slow,” Kristina said. “We’re only here another week.”

  “I know,” Rory said. She didn’t mention that she’d sent more pictures in to the guy at the e-zine. That she’d told him she’d make coffee and answer phones if they didn’t need her to travel for them. The thought of leaving Ned, of leaving Rome, made her heart ache. She wasn’t ready. If only she could make time slow down, too.

  “I’m just saying, don’t let it go to waste,” Kristina said “You’ve got to at least do it once before you leave. You’ll regret it if you don’t. Trust me on that one.”

  “Maybe she’ll regret it if she does,” Maggie said. “Leave her alone. Not everyone moves as fast as you.”

  “No, but she’s not moving at all.”

  “Maybe I’ll stay,” Rory said. She hadn’t meant to tell them, but Kristina was so bossy sometimes. “You know, for the summer. Then I’ll have plenty of time.”

  “You?” Kristina asked. “You’re going to stay in Rome, by yourself, for the rest of the summer? You can’t even go a day without talking to your mother.”

  “That’s for her sake,” Rory said, her face reddening. But it was for her sake, too. Someday, she was going to have to learn to let go of that.

  “Yeah, well, I’ll believe it when I see it,” Kristina said, but it was obvious that she would never believe it. Which was fine, because it probably wouldn’t. Rory already regretted saying anything. Now Kristina would be challenging her about it until they left, and then she’d be all smug about being right about Rory all along.

  They went to Florence for a weekend, and although she wanted to invite Ned, she didn’t. It was just the girls. Part of her was afraid that if she left Ned for just two days, he’d have time to think things through, to change his mind. That when she came back, he’d be distant and ignore her.

  But the moment she go
t home, he pulled her in and hugged her hard, planting a secret kiss on the side of her neck so Theresa wouldn’t see. Later, she didn’t wait for him to call her to his room. She went herself, and he switched off the light right away, took her hand, and pulled her to the bed. “I don’t want to leave,” she whispered in the dark.

  “You should stay,” Ned said. “I’ll put you up here.”

  “You can’t do that,” she said. “I’d feel like your mistress if you paid for my lodging.”

  “Can you also be my mistress?” Ned asked, nuzzling into her neck.

  The next morning, Rory woke slowly, cradled in Ned’s arms. She adjusted her position, turning onto her back at last. His arm lay heavy across her middle, as it had every day for the past weeks. She needed to tell Quinn about this. She probably needed to ask Kristina about it. Was he trying hard enough to get in her pants? If she kept saying no, would he lose interest, or start seeing her as only a friend?

  But she wouldn’t ask yet. For now, it was her secret. Their secret.

  She was part of a ‘we’ now, though it wasn’t the ‘we’ she had tried so hard to join. Actually, things were going okay with the girls, too. She wasn’t sure she wanted to disrupt the balance of their relationship, of mentor and mentee. If she already had Ned, they didn’t need to give her further advice, so they might be done with her. Kristina was the alpha dog, so she had to stay on her good side. Kristina would expect her to do what she advised when it came to seducing Ned. If they told her to change things, she would have to. And right now, she didn’t want to change a thing.

  It was too new to expose to the light, too new to even discuss with Ned. And who else would understand or even believe if she told them they didn’t hook up? If she talked about it, she’d have to define it, and she didn’t want to have to do that. It felt too precious to be cheapened by words, put into a little box with a label.

  “Well, good morning to you, Rory Hartnett,” Ned said with a sleepy smile.

  She smiled and cuddled into the crook of his elbow. “Good morning. Fancy meeting you here, Ned…” She stopped, realizing again, as she had in so many little moments over the past weeks, that she barely knew this person. “Oh my gosh, I don’t even know your last name,” she said. “I can’t believe I’m sleeping with someone and I don’t even know his last name. I’m such a slut.”

  “Any chance you want to get a little sluttier?” Ned asked, pressing his hips against her.

  “You realize we don’t actually know each other at all?” she asked. “I mean, I don’t even know your favorite color, or your favorite band, or how old you are.”

  “Stay the rest of the summer, and we can get to know each other all you want.”

  “I wish.”

  He pulled back and looked at her until she retrieved her glasses so she could see his expression. “You really would stay?” he asked, tucking her hair behind her ear.

  “I can’t.” She couldn’t look at him.

  “I told you that Rome was addictive,” he said. “You can’t want to leave. It’s impossible.”

  “I don’t,” she said. “But how could I stay? I’d have to change my flight, and find a place to live, and how would I afford it?”

  “You can stay here,” he said. “If Theresa lets me stay, she’d let you.”

  “Maybe she has a crush on you,” Rory said, pushing his chest playfully. “Now tell me what I asked.”

  “About my favorite color and stuff? Blue, and I’m nineteen. You?”

  “What? You’re only nineteen? How can you drink?”

  “We’re in Europe,” he said. “They don’t care about that stuff.”

  “Wow. I’m a slut and a cradle robber.”

  He nuzzled her neck. “I don’t know about cradle robber. Maybe a little bit of a cougar, though.”

  “So what’s your last name?” she asked, stretching her neck so he could kiss it better.

  “Villines,” he said between kisses. “Now are we done with the day’s Q and A? Because I can think of something a lot more interesting to do right now.”

  “Villines?” she asked, pulling away a little. “Wait, are you Brody Villines?” As soon as she said it, she knew how ridiculous it was. Of course he wasn’t Brody Villines. She’d seen hundreds of pictures of Brody all over magazines and TV.

  Ned laughed. “I wish.”

  But now that she thought about it, she did seem to recall something about Brody coming from old family money in Kentucky…

  “What?” he asked with a sigh, rolling away a little. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

  “Are you related to Brody Villines?”

  Ned sighed again. “Yes. I’m his cousin. And no, I don’t know where he is.”

  “OH MY GOD.”

  “I know, he’s famous, you want to marry him. Bastard is still hogging all the girls. Even in Italy I can’t get away from it.”

  “Is that why you came over here?”

  “No,” he said. “But it’s part of why I stayed. He casts a big shadow.”

  “Awww, were you not getting enough attention?” Rory asked, rolling over to hook her leg over his. In random moments, it still struck her as unbelievable that she could be so comfortable, so intimate with someone, and she’d feel like she knew him better than she’d ever known anyone but her family. Whether it was a product of living with him, or the comfort would have been there without that, she couldn’t know.

  “Not nearly enough,” he agreed.

  As soon as Rory heard Theresa in the kitchen downstairs, she slipped out of bed and tiptoed to her room. Ned didn’t care if Theresa knew, but Rory still wasn’t ready for her to find out…whatever it was that she would find out.

  She pulled her phone off the charger and made sure it had a full charge before sticking it in her school bag. She’d never make that mistake again. A couple emails had come through, as well as a text from Maggie, but she didn’t have time to check them yet. One downside of sleeping in Ned’s room was that she was perpetually late now, because neither of them were ever in a hurry to get up and go to class. But so far, one of them had always done the responsible thing in the end and gotten up. Theresa’s presence downstairs helped with that.

  Rory just had time to brush her teeth and hair before Ned was jingling the keys in the hall. They hurried downstairs, grabbed the breakfast sandwiches Theresa had waiting—along with a knowing smile—and headed out to Jelly. “I think she knows,” Rory whispered, as she had nearly every morning after they’d shared a night together. “Did you see how she looked at us?”

  “Knows what?” Ned asked. “There’s nothing to know.”

  Rory climbed into Jelly and rolled the window down, even though it was cloudy for once and not especially hot so early in the morning. She’d grown used to the traffic noises, the scooters and buses and cars, the honking. Though she might never be comfortable enough to want to drive in the city, if she was allowed to, she sort of liked the commotion and chaos of it. She smiled and closed her eyes for a moment, soaking up the damp morning smell of exhaust and a hint of the sea that blew in on the rare day.

  “What are you smiling about?” Ned asked.

  Her eyes drifted open. “Oh, nothing.”

  Nothing. Ned had said there was nothing to know. Did that mean she was nothing to him?

  Control your anxiety, she reminded herself. It wasn’t about you. She took out her phone to text her mother. Maggie had sent a text about getting lunch after class, which Rory read aloud before texting her back, then texting her mother. She was on top of this.

  Everything was being taken care of, everything falling into place. She would breeze right through the next week. Only then would she let herself ask Ned what was going on, what was going to happen when she left. Would he stay indefinitely, or just through the summer? Now that she knew he was a Villines, she knew how he could afford to stay as long as he wanted. Old family money. It explained some of his presumptuous attitude, too. Who would have thought her dready stoner roomma
te was a spoiled rich boy?

  She opened her emails and read one from Professor McClain with the rubric for their final paper attached. The other was from an unknown email. She almost deleted it, but it looked like a personal email, not some random company that had gotten her email and wanted to sell her something, so she clicked on it.

  Hey, Rory,

  Thanks for all the great shots you’ve been sending. It’s your lucky day. Had one of our interns drop out last minute, if you’re still interested email me. I won’t even make you get my coffee.

  “Oh, no,” she said. “Oh my goodness. Oh, no.”

  “What’s up?” Ned asked.

  “I think I just got…I got…I can’t take it.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “I got an email from that travel e-zine,” she said, staring at her phone like it might bite her. “Someone had to drop out and they…they want me.”

  “Whoa,” Ned said. “That’s awesome. Congrats, dude.”

  “I can’t take it,” she said. “I mean, obviously. I can’t even walk down the street without getting lost. You saw me that night.”

  “Yeah, but you got found,” Ned said. “That’s the important part.”

  “I got lost for like two hours. I almost had to sleep on the street. My mom wanted me to fly home the next day.”

  “Dude, it happens,” Ned said. “I’ve gotten lost before. Everybody has. And the point is, you didn’t sleep on the street. You found a ride home, and you were fine. Right?”

  “I fell down and skinned my knee.”

  “Oh, poor Rory,” Ned said, making face at her. “Want me to kiss it for you?”

  “Shut up,” she said, her face warming. “It’s not funny. I could have been really hurt.”

  “That’s true,” Ned said. “But you could get really hurt any time. You could get lost at home, too, right? You can get lost or hurt anywhere you are. But you can’t stop going out forever, like Theresa. You gotta live your life, dude.”

  He was right. Maybe she had gotten lost, but she’d managed to make it back without anything bad happening to her. She might have been scared, but wouldn’t anyone be scared in her circumstances? And she’d been resourceful enough to get home.