Overcoming Fear (Growing Pains #2)

by K. F. Breene

  She marched back into her room with purpose, then returned wearing a robe. She probably needed to continue to focus on the details of life instead of just the big emotional stuff…

  In the office she got some coffee, did some work, and went to Sean’s office. Her neck was getting sore from holding her chin up, but dang it, she would be happy for him if it killed her. She would rebuild their friendship and get over these failed hopes. So there!

  Sean had a polo shirt on that showed those glorious pecs and big broad shoulders. Krista salivated, as she always would, and didn’t feel badly about it. She would be friendly, and only friendly. Like in the beginning. She would not touch him inappropriately, or get caught staring at any of his bulges.

  “Hey Captain,” she said with a smile as she walked in.

  He looked up and his face went from pleased, to confused, to a frown. “Hey, Krista. Anything wrong?”

  Anything wrong? Had she gotten so tired and jaded with work that when she smiled people thought she was about to unload a nine-millimeter?

  “No. Just thought I would pop in and say hello. Haven’t properly talked to you in a while.”

  “Oh,” Sean said, confusion evident. “You seem happy.”

  “Yeah, you know, tired but happy. Can’t let life keep you down.” Was the thumbs-up absolutely needed?

  She got another frown for that comment, or possibly the nerd flag above her head. His eyes probed hers, like he sensed a trap.

  She laughed at him. “Is it so rare to see me in a good mood?”

  He slowly shook his head, still trying to figure out what had changed. Little did he know it was her trying to change for him. If left up to her real desires, she would be throwing something at his head and keying his car.

  “You ready for our meeting?” he asked with a semblance of normalcy.

  “Been ready. Still have a mountain of work, but I sent another list of requests to my dear friend Mr. Montgomery, so we’ll see how that works out.”

  “The big test, huh?”

  “Exactly. And seriously a test, because I could have sent it to anyone to do, but I am following protocol, so we’ll see. I almost hope he f’s-up so I can yell at him.”

  Sean smiled. This time it was genuine. He was coming back, slowly.

  There was a beat where neither knew what to say. The silence lengthened. It turned out the reconciliation wasn’t going as easily as Krista had expected. Apparently the bridge over the great divide had a lot of stones.

  “Well, anyway,” she said. No sense building it all at once. The mortar needed to set on the first pass. “Just thought I would say hi. I need to get back to the grindstone, as it were.”

  “Sure, Krista. No problem.” Sean hadn’t looked away.

  She winked at him, laughed at herself, and headed out, passing Ben on his way in. She gave him a smile, a hello, and a high-five. She hadn’t seen the guy in forever it seemed like—well, except for the naked incident earlier.

  He looked just as confused by her change in behavior as Sean did.

  “Jesus. Can’t a girl be happy without everyone thinking she’s ready to jump off the Golden Gate?”

  Ben just stared after her.

  She made sure to walk around the company more often that day. She visited Marcus, who asked who her new booty-call was. Judy asked a similar question before asking her opinion on some things, and Camille in Research ventured a few words.

  Krista also went to the break room more often to get her face out there. She chatted with Tommy, who was still with that girlfriend, and said hello and chatted with as many people as she could. All of it was to try for normalcy and social etiquette, but also because she wanted people to like her so Mr. Montgomery couldn’t keep alive any rumors of her being a bitch. So far it was going well, because no one liked Mr. Montgomery already, so they wouldn’t want to believe anything he said.

  The next day was Friday and she had nothing to do for the weekend. Stupid Jasmine met some idiot, and Kate was on another date. The girls’ advice to find someone of her own was great and all, but doing that without a wingman was not going to happen.

  It was four o’clock when she massaged her neck and looked at the clock. She was spent. Her work was an uphill battle all the way, and she barely had a handle on it. The problem was, she could barely focus anymore. Her eyes were bleary and her brain was fuzzy. In a wild impulse, she decided to duck out early. If anyone had a problem with it, they were welcome to fire her.

  She’d probably be relieved.

  She was already downtown and she had nowhere to be, so she figured she would go shopping. That finished, and after a couple cute items were purchased, she went to the nearest bar that looked halfway decent and had a beer. Alone. Like the loser she had turned into.

  It was then she saw it—a flyer with the same logo she had seen on Sean’s computer a couple times when she’d asked him about work items. She’d never really given it much thought at the time, being that it was an email and she was half-afraid it was more work, but now, seeing the same image in a bar…well, that was odd, now wasn’t it. That couldn’t have anything to do with their work load.

  Commence stalking.

  She got up quickly and had a look.

  On closer inspection, it turned out the logo was for a theatre house in the Mission that specialized in newer and unheard-of plays. Either Sean was dating a girl there, or he was in it. Being that the show was already in production, and Sean had only been leaving on time for about two weeks, there was no way Sean could be in it. Krista wasn’t an actor, but even an idiot knew there was rehearsal time, set construction time, dress rehearsals, etc.

  But if Sean wasn’t in it, that meant he’d been leaving early to help someone, or to see someone’s performances. Like a good boyfriend would.

  She hoped he was in it, and that his new relaxed persona was an acting high. Since that it was only slightly far-fetched, she went with it. Being in creepy stalker mode, it meant she also had to check it out.

  Getting to the Mission from the Financial District was easy and effortless. She grabbed a bus that dropped her off right in front of the theatre, then loitered around the area for about a half hour until it was safe to go in unnoticed. If Sean was watching his chick, she didn’t want him to see her sneak in, which meant she needed to go in after the place was already humming with patrons. If he was in it, she didn’t want him looking out from behind the curtain and catching her stalking.

  Bottom line, she was trying to be sneaky.

  At the ticket booth she didn’t see a price, so she handed $20 to an over-enthused door woman.

  “How much did you want to pay, sweetie?” The pink-haired woman asked.

  “Just one, please.”

  She got a continued expectant look instead of a ticket.

  “One? Just me…”

  “You pay what you can afford, sweets. We ask that you don’t pay less than $5, but it’s your choice.”

  “Oh.” Krista was taken aback a little. That was cool. “Um, fifteen dollars?”

  “Sure.”

  The hallway in was narrow, lined with ratty flyers crookedly pasted to the walls. The carpet was old and stained, the walls had scuffs, and the lighting was dingy. It certainly wasn’t like one of the many big theater houses in San Francisco; it was much too raunchy. But then, it was the Mission. There was always a certain feel to places in this part of town. The fact that it still existed meant people kept coming back. Hopefully that meant the play would be good. Or decent, at least.

  As she emerged from the hallway and rounded the corner, her heart sank. The place was tiny. Shoebox tiny. As in, there were probably only about twenty-five rows allowing for about fifteen people to sit comfortably on each long, flat bench. There weren’t even cushions on the benches. It was like an old, wood grandstand in the little leagues.

  And it was only half full. With the lights at full blast.

  How the hell was she supposed to be incognito in a dress and heels, in full light, w
ithout anyone to hide behind? She was the only one dressed up! She would’ve been better off with a paper bag over her head if she wanted to go unnoticed!

  Like the idiot she was, she adhered to habit and glanced up to see who was in the audience. She might as well have hung a sign around her neck that announced her visit.

  Bowing her head quickly, and then cursing herself for looking guilty when she was supposed to be indifferent, or distracted, or at the very least not paying attention, she made a route up the steps, intending to aim for a cluster of people in the back. If she was duck hunting, they’d be the tree blind.

  Unfortunately, each step of cute high heel on wood step gave a resounding thunk. A few hipster-types looked up from their phones at the wannabe fashionista making her entrance. She couldn’t have been more out of place if she’d tried. This was not going well.

  She hadn’t even made it up to the third row when she heard her name.

  Crap!

  She looked up from under her lashes and saw Ray and Mary in the middle of the theater in the cluster she meant to hide behind. She couldn’t help but groan.

  Playing her part, she gave a confused wave and a surprised smile. Still making progress up the rows with a thunk, thunk. they waved back, and then beckoned her in large sweeps of arms, trying to get her to land next to them as if she was a plane and they a runway. Since there were no actual chairs, and no assigned seating, Krista had no choice but to obey.

  Silver lining: Sean was nowhere in sight and neither was an unidentified woman. Great news. Although, getting caught stalking while dressing like she was on a night on the town would seem a little Single White Female. Probably not the best thing.

  When she reached Ray and Mary she feigned confused happiness at seeing friendly faces.

  “Hey guys!” she said vaguely.

  “Hi Krista. Sit with us!” Ray said, still motioning for her to sit down. Mary had basically climbed on his lap to repeat the gesture. Everyone in the theatre was watching.

  To stop the vaudeville act, Krista sat demurely, albeit with a face to match her red dress.

  “Krista, you remember my wife Mary?” Ray leaned back so Mary could lean farther over him in order shake hands.

  “Of course,” Krista said with a smile.

  “Good to see you again, Krista! I bet Sean is so excited for you to see him in action! He really is very good!” Mary exclaimed.

  These two people were quite possibly the friendliest, most positive people on the planet.

  Before Krista could answer that she was a creepy, stalking a-hole, or something to that effect, Ray looked up with high eyebrows and started motioning again. Mary followed his gaze a second later, waving animatedly for the next plane to land.

  With a shock of fear, Krista took the cowardly way out and looked at her clasped hands, her knuckles white with the force to staying still.

  “Cassie! Hi! Join us!” Mary exclaimed for the whole theatre to hear.

  The space next to Krista filled in with a butt and a pleasant perfume. Krista glanced up to face the music, right into the beautiful vivid blue eyes of Sean’s sister Cassie. A gorgeous guy was sitting down next to her, looking around the tiny theatre hall with a glum expression. Tall drink of water about summed it up with that guy. He was a panty dropper for sure. Aloof, though.

  Cassie gave a radiant smile from her lovely face, which was apparently a family heirloom, and said, “Krista, right?” Thank God she was related to Sean because Krista would never be able to compete with the woman.

  “Yes, it is. Sorry about the first time we met. I wasn’t really...myself.”

  “I’ve been there, believe me. This is Keith,” she pointed to the man next to her.

  Keith turned his face to Krista with a bored expression, flicked his eyes at Ray and Mary, and turned back to the empty stage. He might’ve been super-hot, but he was a Debbie Downer. Not worth the drama.

  Krista couldn’t help but add up the score. Now it was invited friends and family sandwiching Krista, the uninvited stalker. She immediately began to think of a story as to why she was there, and no sooner did she come up with something believable that Cassie asked, “Is this the first time you’ve seen Sean act?”

  “It is, yes. I didn’t actually know that Sean was in it until after you walked in. I thought it was just a coincidence with Ray and Mary.”

  “You didn’t?” Ray asked, disbelieving.

  “Uh, no, actually. He didn’t mention it.”

  Ray and Mary’s eyebrows raised in surprise. Krista continued quickly so they didn’t start peppering her with questions. “I knew he acted, I just didn’t realize he was currently doing something.”

  “You think he would’ve told you so you could come to watch.” Mary shook her head as if to say it was purely illogical.

  Krista shrugged. Had she not had that mini-freak-out—one of the many, actually—then he might have. Or maybe not, since he wasn’t telling people they talked outside of work. It was still something they needed to talk about. Krista just hoped they got that chance.

  Cassie asked, “So how did you end up here?”

  Krista was ready for this one. “I was in the Mission to meet my friends for drinks before they went off to their dates. Since I’m single and seriously need to find more friends, I needed something to do. Here I am. I figured I would get caught going solo to a movie by someone I knew, so I chose a small, out–of-the-way theatre I didn’t think anyone knew about. And got caught by someone I knew. So now I look a little desperate...”

  Mary threw up her objections as Ray laughed and patted her on the back. Keith seemed deaf, and Cassie was looking at her in that intense way her brother sometimes did. Krista pointed out that fact.

  Cassie smiled serenely and shrugged, “I thought you had a man, though?”

  “Me? No. Why? Who told you that?” Krista looked at Ray and received a head shake and a shrug.

  Cassie shook her head confusedly. “Sean mentioned it. Maybe he was mistaken?”

  “Maybe he was thinking about a man named Paul?”

  “He didn’t give a name. Just said you found someone.”

  “I don’t know about found someone. Maybe he was exaggerating. Paul wasn’t really...uh, that kind of thing. I haven’t seen him for a while, though...”

  “Oh. Huh. He just said something earlier tonight, so that must not be your friend Paul.” She said friend as though she knew exactly what type of “friend” Krista was talking about.

  “No, that wouldn’t be Paul. I have no idea, then. I haven’t had time to meet anyone. Your brother keeps me incredibly busy! I wanted to get out there tonight but my wingmen haven’t been doing the hours I have and are ahead of me.”

  “Well, this can count as ‘out there’ then,” Cassie said sweetly. She was such a nice girl. You would think someone as pretty as her would be a snobby bitch. But then, you would think someone as attractive as Sean would be an egotistical, womanizing pig.

  Which he was… not that long ago. Or maybe still. Verdict was still out.

  “There is a shocking lack of single guys here, but it’ll do in a pinch,” Krista said jokingly, looking around the audience.

  Cassie’s expression was lost as the lights went down.

  Right away Krista knew the play would be weird. One raggedy dude was carrying a giant, seven-foot cross on his shoulder. He walked in next to some crazy broad who was tearing apart roses. There were swear words and screaming and Krista was lost immediately.

  It wasn’t until the second scene that Sean made his entrance. He wore tattered clothes and had smears of dirt on his face. The second he made his appearance, though, Krista couldn’t keep her eyes off of him. It was like he glowed. Even when he didn’t speak she was looking to him for cues and expressions. When he did speak she was in rapture. He was probably not the most experienced, and if she was honest, not the best of the group on pure talent, but he had something that no one else could touch, and that was star power. He mattered. What he said mattered.
His charisma filled the whole place and sucked everyone in.

  Of course, Krista was a wee bit biased.

  It was towards the end that she had a moment of déjà vu. Sean was facing the audience with a faraway look on his face, talking about reaching a utopia in the dream-world of a distant life, when he turned around at a woman’s voice behind him, showed how happy he was to see her again, and kissed her. She was the heroine of the story, he the hero. Actually, she was a crack-whore and he was a love-besotted addict, but hero and heroine sounded a lot better.

  It was the scene Krista saw from his street. It was his supposed girlfriend. It was rehearsal. Rehearsals took place in his house. She was an idiot.

  The relief she felt was all consuming. She actually teared up. No, it didn’t mean anything as far as Sean and her were concerned, but now at least he hadn’t found someone else. He didn’t reject her for someone else.

  Funny how that was easier to bear.

  The play ended not long after, the addict dying of an overdose, the whore still turning tricks, and the dude with the giant cross making some speech about God knows what. It really wasn’t Krista’s cup of tea, but she was grateful she came because she really enjoyed watching Sean act. He was good. Better than good. If he wasn’t such a successful salesman, she would say he missed his calling. But then, he could probably do anything and be good at it.

  She felt herself flush in the darkness thinking on that point.

  Chapter Twelve

  When the lights came up for curtain call, the actors filed out with smile, bowing to the crowd. The theatre was so small that the actors could see faces looking down at them. Sean scanned the onlookers, finding his sister. He smiled shyly before his eyes slid and found Ray. His face lit up in pure joy. His people were there for him and he felt loved and supported. It touched Krista’s heart that a man like Sean would still need it; that he was happy to get it.

  His eyes flickered to those around his family and friends; smiling at Mary and losing a fraction of his smile for Keith. As an afterthought he glanced at the person sitting between the two groups, probably thinking it was a loser that got stuck in the middle—which was actually correct—and came to a screeching halt when his eyes met Krista’s. Shock smacked into his features before he let his smile for the audience quickly return. His eyes locked with hers.