Overcoming Fear (Growing Pains #2)

by K. F. Breene

  “Sean, seriously,” she interrupted testily. His face was a mask of guilt and pain. It was enough bullshit from one man for a lifetime. “In matters of the heart, you have your problems, and they are coming between us, sure, but you are keeping me away because you think that puts me out of harm’s reach. It logically doesn’t make sense, because it hurts every time I see you and can’t touch you, or hold you, or comfort you, but the heart isn’t logical, and you can’t see how absurd you are being, so I just have to grin and bear it. It has nothing to do with the kind of trust I have in you.

  “And while we are on the subject, I slapped you that other night because I could tell you weren’t yourself, and I wanted you to snap out of it. I could see that you were slipping into that dark place. If I were a different woman, a normal woman, I wouldn’t have noticed. I would have switched gears with you and gone with it.

  “But I am messed up, too, Sean. You weren’t hurting me, you were triggering some memories of the past. And let’s remember, my past has nothing to do with you. You didn’t force me. I was the one that hit you. I hurt you. I have no hard feelings toward you, Sean. It is easy to scare me, and you don’t.

  “I loved you going into that episode, and guess what, I still love you, Sean. Very much. And yes, I also still trust you, with my whole heart. So stop thinking I’m breakable. I think you’re the one breaking. You’re trying to protect yourself by pushing me away. Not the other way around.”

  She wiped a tear away and felt unfinished. She didn’t know how to finish it off, though, so she went with, “And make me a good offer so I don’t have to go work for Tory!”

  She left Sean on the balcony with a bewildered expression. In the movies the hero would have kissed her when she said the ”I love you” bit. Or even after the ”make me an offer” bit. Total letdown to have to walk away. Again.

  At least it was predictable.

  She went back in for a while, talked to John about the location and time of the pool party, and left. She’d said all she’d needed to say.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  The next day, and a bus ride later, she was walking into a posh hotel in the middle of Marin. The thing about Marin apparently, thanks to a Google search, was that it had a bunch of rich people. The property value was high and many of the people drove expensive cars and monstrous SUVs. The other thing was that the weather was gorgeous. It wasn’t summer anymore—fall actually—but the day was still warm, the sky still clear, and the sun still going strong. Some hated California because it didn’t have proper seasons, but Krista hated the cold—she was happy enough for eternal good weather.

  As ordered, there was champagne and strawberries waiting for her in her room. Also a bouquet of flowers. The dressings were a rich beige, the walls were eggshell white, the art abstract but nice for a hotel, and the bed like a cloud. It wasn’t even that expensive! She got a deal on Priceline, and until that second, she hadn’t realized what an absolutely great deal it was.

  After she took a long shower, put on her summery clothes—complete with a light sweater for the evening—she sauntered downstairs to grab a cab. She was determined to stay on her own time today. She was relaxed and content, and wanted to stay that way as long as possible before she saw Sean.

  When she arrived at the house that would host the party, she nearly held her breath. It was freaking gi-normous! It looked like a celebrity’s house! The long driveway leading up was lined with grass and trees, there was a round driveway to turn around, adorned with extremely expensive looking cars—was that a Ferrari???—and a fountain in front of a grand staircase leading up to the front door.

  A little stress as CEO. was definitely worth this crib! It was absolutely unreal!

  Krista exited the cab by the curb and walked up. She didn’t need a Ferrari driver knowing she still didn’t own a car. He wouldn’t know what school and credit card debt did to a girl’s spending money.

  When the cab was out of sight, she climbed the wide expanse of stairs between artfully sculpted bushes and beautifully blooming flowers. She stuck her finger out and nervously rang the bell. Then looked around. She flat out wasn’t used to this much money. Or people with this much money. It made her suddenly rethink her outfit—it was cute and trendy when she put it on, but now it seemed too young. And poor.

  The large, heavy oak door opened to an older man with white hair, wrinkles, white gloves and a black suit. If they were going for a game of Clue, the guy totally looked the part. Krista very nearly called him Jeeves, but when he had an American accent, that sentiment went down the tubes.

  The person who might’ve been called Jeeves said, “Right this way, please.”

  Krista silently walked through the biggest private residence doorway in the world, through a garden of marble, through a long, wide, artfully decorated hallway with paintings and lights and tables and all such things that weren’t needed or necessary in a hallway, up a wide flight of stairs lined with a plush-looking rug, and through another hallway with more paintings and decorations. Through this journey, Fake Jeeves kept at a measured pace so that she might check out the art. When he led her up the giant staircase, she got a bit nervous—whose back yard was on the second level? Was this a joke on the poor kid? Did she have to put on a uniform and clean a room before she was allowed down to the party?

  It all became clear when she emerged onto a wide balcony in a blast of sunlight. Along each side of the large, round area were welcoming balloons attached to tables with beverages and fruit and shrimp and finger foods and staff standing by. Krista’s sweater was traded for a glass of champagne—it was explained that the glass was actually plastic and she should not hesitate to throw it away when finished with it—and offered snacks and sandwiches and chocolate treats. With plate in hand, she was then shown the staircase leading down, which wasn’t as big as the one coming up, because the back yard was in levels. It would have been a continual slope up if certain parts weren’t flattened to keep the water in the giant pool, or the barbecue from rolling away.

  ~*~*~*~

  Sean exited the pool to an awaiting horde of girls. If he needed an ego boost, he was in the right place. He wasn’t allowed to do anything for himself; his drink was guarded, and then handed to him. His plate of appetizers was continually refreshed, and his towel was periodically swapped for a dry one. It was like having twenty maids. Twenty mostly naked, young, bouncing-boobed maids. He could think of worse things.

  And then he didn’t have to, because one of the girls would open her mouth. They were all oh-so-young. Most were probably barely legal. What their parents were doing letting them hang out with a guy ten years their senior he had no idea, but he actually wished they’d put a stop to it. They were ditzy and peppy and they never shut up.

  “Sean! Oh my God, your phone was ringing!” One of the blond ones said as she bounced up and put his phone in his hand.

  Sean watched her breasts settle, feeling a bit like a creepy old man, and glanced at his phone. It was probably John trying to call him over to talk business. And while there were a great many connections to be made at the party, he wasn’t in the mood. Krista would be hanging near the pool, and so he would stay.

  Checking, he saw that it was actually Kate. Fearing she was planning on calling in sick on Krista’s behalf, he dialed her back.

  “Sean?!”

  Kate sounded frantic.

  “Yeah, hi Kate. I just missed your—“

  “Sean, is Krista near you? Do you see her? Is she there—you’re at the barbecue right? In Marin?”

  “It wasn’t him, Kate!” Jasmine yelled in the background. “He was too big.”

  “He wasn’t too big, Jasmine. That’s his size!”

  “Kate?” Sean asked, stepping away from the pool and the twenty listening girls.

  “Sean, yes, hi. Is Krista there?”

  Sean did another scan of the area. He’d been watching for her since he got there an hour ago. “No, I haven’t seen her. Why? Isn’t she coming?”


  “You haven’t seen her?” Kate sounded like she was terrified.

  “No—what’s wrong? What’s going on?”

  “Why didn’t you give her a ride, Sean?” Kate accused.

  “I stopped by her house but Ben said she’d already left.”

  “Who took her?”

  “Kate! Calm the fuck down!” Jasmine yelled in the background.

  “Jasmine, I am going to punch you in the face if you don’t stop telling me to calm the fuck down! Sean—hello, Sean?”

  “Yes, I’m here.”

  “Look, I can’t be sure, but I think I just saw Jim…”

  “Who?”

  “Jim, Sean! Jim! As in, Krista’s psycho-fucking-ex-boyfriend, Jim. As in, Jim-the-fucking-guy-that-wants-to-chain-Krista-to-his-fucking-bed-and-force-her-to-carry-his-spawn, Jim!”

  Adrenaline shot through Sean. He hoped it was Jim, and he hoped Jim came looking, because Sean had a score to settle with that guy.

  “Are you sure?”

  “No, I’m not sure. If I was sure I would be calling Krista instead of you. I’d be calling the police instead of you. But there aren’t many guys that look like Jim, and this guy looked just like him.”

  “Kate,” Jasmine said in a patronizing voice, “He. Was. Too. Big! The guy was huge. Jim wasn’t that big.”

  “Sean,” Kate said, forcing herself to remain calm. “Find Krista. Don’t tell her what I told you. Keep your eye on her, okay? I don’t care about your damn problems. If Jim is in town, it is for the sole reason to find Krista. He put her in the hospital, Sean, along with two football players that got in his way—don’t be a hero, just make sure she’s not alone. If she doesn’t turn up in another half an hour, call me.”

  “Over-reacting, much?” Jasmine mumbled behind Kate.

  “Got it, Kate,” Sean said, doing another sweep. “I’m sure she’ll show up soon. What does he look like?”

  “Dark, handsome, fucking huge and bat-shit crazy. If you are with Krista, and you see a man running at you, that is probably Jim.”

  Jasmine scoffed. Sean had to agree, Kate sounded like she was overreacting.

  ~*~*~*~

  Krista wanted to stop for a second, to take it all in, but the staircase she was descending, which was artfully designed in wood, with wood banisters, was in clear view of the forty-some-odd people below, and being that her hands were full of food and drink (and her lack of balance legendary in heels - even if they were wedges), she had to keep looking down at her feet to make sure she didn’t trip or roll to the bottom.

  What she did manage to notice however, was breathtaking. There was a large expanse of green with sculpted bushes and statues, actual statues, with a backdrop of twinkling blue—a beautifully stonescaped pool—the hum of people, the smell of food, and a large old bricklayed area.

  Once at the bottom, Krista saw that in front of her were mostly business people trying to look casual, keeping to the shade of the umbrellas that adorned five patio tables. Some were sitting, some were standing and looking over those sitting, and some were milling and flocking between groups. Unused heating elements loomed at each table. An electric fire pit with chairs and small tables sat off to her right. All heating items were probably set up for the evening, and would most likely get used later, as long as the party went on that long.

  A little farther down, Krista saw what looked like a station for grilling, that area was bustling and alluring with a heavenly aroma drifting from the rising smoke. Unlike at Ray’s house, though, she had a feeling the host wasn’t the one doing the grilling. Beyond that, and separated by what looked like Redwood trees, was the pool area she had hinted earlier. Off that, all she could see was a few half-naked bodies, that glimmer of blue, and an occasional splash.

  Though the pool was calling, Krista knew that proper protocol meant she had to check in with someone she worked with. Or Tory in the event she couldn’t find anyone else she knew.

  With a look around, Krista spotted John talking to some middle-aged African American guy with his pockets lined with gold. He looked important and serious and he fit in with those around him, but not with a pool party theme. Krista was pretty sure sweater vests weren’t usually worn right before a person got wet.

  John wasn’t much better. He didn’t radiate as much money and he didn’t seem as important, but then she knew him personally; it was probably experience talking. He was wearing business casual and lightly sipping what looked like an iced tea. Krista hoped it was from Long Island.

  “Hey John,” she said when there was a gap in the conversation.

  “Krista! Our star. Krista, let me introduce Mark Johnson. Mark is the Senior Vice President at GAP.”

  “Oh, I love GAP!” she said honestly.

  Mark laughed and shook her hand. “Most women your age do. You are what, twenty-four or twenty-five?”

  “Almost twenty-six, actually.”

  He nodded. “But you aren’t wearing GAP today, I see.”

  “Caught me. I’m wearing Banana. That’s the same company, though, right?”

  “In essence, yes. So I thank you for your business.”

  Krista really needed to get back to some parties with people her own age and poverty level. She had already noticed that Mark did not plan to swim. Stare, however, he planned on doing in plenty.

  Thankfully, John excused them from Mark’s roving eye and brought her over to Tory, who was wearing brown swim trunks. He was also wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a weird tweed hat that kept the sun off his face.

  “Tory, look who’s here! Our very own researcher!” John was a bit overboard in his excitement. It made Krista suspicious.

  Tory looked delighted to see her. “I am so glad you could make it, Krista. I have been thinking about some things that I want to go over with you.”

  “Only under direct supervision,” John said it with a mock glare and a strict father’s tone. “Rumor is you’re playing for a few of our staff!”

  “You have some great people over there, John. I would love to redistribute the wealth,” Tory laughed.

  “Gentlemen, leave the poor girl alone! Can’t you see young people need to flock to the water?”

  Emily to the rescue! She was wearing a sun dress, not unlike Krista’s, and some flip flops. The woman did gracious hostess in her sleep!

  “Of course,” Tory said with a twinkle in his eye. “But Krista, remember, I promised to show you my sword collection.”

  Oh yeah! She really did want to see that. She didn’t want to look like a bobbing, excited little kid, so she played down her joy. “Just as long as you skip the comic book collection.”

  Tory smiled. Before Krista was allowed to be whisked away by Emily, John sobered and gave her a pointed look in warning. He was probably trying to discourage her from playing Let’s Make a Deal with Tory later.

  “Just in time,” Krista said to Emily when they were out of earshot. “I don’t have much in common with businessmen.”

  “Yet! But from what I hear, you will. It’s only a matter of time.”

  “Oh God, I hope I don’t turn that boring!”

  Emily laughed as she led Krista to the second of the four backyard levels. They were headed for the pool, thankfully, but first they veered toward a station for food and drinks nestled among the majestic Redwoods and a wonderfully maintained garden. In this area there were more sodas than beer and wine, and the alcohol was closely monitored, but it was there, and Krista was legal, so the rest was just details.

  “Okay, fill yourself to your heart’s content over here.” Emily swept her hand around the beautiful garden. “The stodgy businessmen don’t veer this far—their egos might dwindle. There are more people your age, too, so you should be able to find someone to talk to. Most are in the pool, though—“ They turned and walked a few feet out of the ring of trees and foliage until they were looking at the expanse of blue oasis.

  The pool looked Olympic-sized, but wasn’t a perfect rectangle. On one side there was a wall
of rocks with plant life and flowers peeking through. Within the rocks there was a waterslide and various platforms that gave the adventurer something to jump off of into the water. At the end of the pool closest to where they were standing were two diving boards, one nearly at water’s edge, and the other a few feet up. There was even a waterfall! Fantastic!

  Krista also saw the young people Emily was talking about. On the non-rock side was a rustic paved ledge and sidewalk. Beyond were lounges and sun chairs and artfully laid patches of grass for sun bathing. There were also hordes of animated kids, all in bathing suits, all taking advantage of the glorious pool and weather.

  As she surveyed the area, Krista couldn’t help but laugh to herself. It was a bit like middle school. Most of the girls were on the far side, and most of the boys on the side closest to the beverages. There were a couple who mingled in between, but it was unquestionably two factions.

  “You see, there are a lot of business types here because that’s all Tory knows,” Emily said, turning them back to the refreshment table. “Since they are boring for the most part, and never swim, I invited some of the neighborhood. Okay. I’ll leave you to it. I’ll be around to swim later on when most of the business types go home.”

  Krista laughed, thanked her profusely, and let her get back to hosting.

  And now Krista was on her own with no one to talk to. She sorely wished Jasmine and Kate were here. Or even Ben. She could be social when she had to, but it was always a little awkward.

  She thought absently of Sean. If they were on good terms Krista would still have someone to hang out with. She knew Sean would swim. He hated business types as much as she did.

  Speak of the devil…

  It became clear why all the girls were on the far side of the pool, and why the boys couldn’t be bothered to hang out with them. That’s where Sean had set up shop, and all the vaginas gravitated toward him. If Krista were one of the neighborhood kids, she wouldn’t want to compete with that, either.