Overcoming Fear (Growing Pains #2)

by K. F. Breene

  Marcus gave his Cheshire Cat smile, “You can’t act in my town and expect me not to find out.”

  “Yeah, by the way, Sean,” Kate said, finishing her wine. It looked like it was bound to be a drunken affair. “That play was shit. Seriously. What the fuck?”

  Sean looked at Krista. She raised her hands in defense. “It wasn’t me. I swear it wasn’t. I didn’t tell anyone.”

  “Ray told me,” Kate said.

  Sean looked at Ray with raised eyebrows. Ray just shrugged. “She was peppering me for information on the girl you were dating. Started recounting your schedule. I figured I’d just tell her. She would have figured it out eventually anyway. Krista did.”

  “You knew!” Krista said, shocked.

  “Yes, Krista, we knew you didn’t just happen to stumble into an out-of-the-way play that Sean was acting in. We thought it was cute.”

  “You and Mary?” Ray nodded. “Oh, good, you and Mary are talking about me.”

  “Honey, everyone’s talking about you!” Marcus said. “The girl that landed the big client and the big stud.”

  “Big stud?” Sean asked. Marcus winked.

  The waiter showed up and took all their orders. It wasn’t a big menu, featuring steak, more steak, and a chicken option. They all opted for steak.

  “So, inquiring minds want to know,” Marcus said as the waiter bustled away. “How are you going to work out the distance gap? It’s a cheap flight, so long-distance until one of you buckles and moves toward the other? Maybe meet in the middle?”

  Sean got uncomfortable and fiddled with his napkin.

  Apparently it was left to Krista to break the news. “Clean cut.”

  Five pairs of confused eyes looked at Krista. One pair stared at his napkin.

  Kate was the first to recover, “Wait, what the fuck do you mean, clean cut?”

  “Sean has to stay, I have to leave. Not much else we can do.” It was Krista’s turn to look at her napkin—she didn’t want to cry in front of everyone.

  “That’s…”

  “Not our business,” Ray cut Kate off.

  Kate’s eyes got dangerous as she looked at Ray. Then she shook her head, threw her napkin on the table, and informed them all she was going to the bathroom.

  “She gets that way,” Ben apologized to Sean.

  Sean just shrugged, not meeting anyone’s eyes.

  “Well, how about office sex?” Marcus said, wiggling his eyebrows. “Or have you already?”

  “Also not our business,” Ray said, failing to hide a smile.

  “No fun, Ray!” Marcus laughed.

  “So tell us about your new home,” Ray said to Krista kindly.

  Krista couldn’t. Not without crying. Instead, she changed the subject to something safe. “Actually, how about I give ideas for drinks after dinner?”

  “I’ll be too full,” Ben said.

  Krista looked at him in warning—she was great at peer pressure.

  “Well? I’ve been here before. They give you a lot of food, and it’s too good not to finish. Then you’re too full to drink.”

  “You’re going,” Jasmine said.

  “But Jaz—“

  “Shut up. You’re going.” Jasmine was pretty good, too.

  After dinner they hit a bar down the street. It was the Marina, so all the boys looked about the same; spiky hair, button-down shirt, slightly baggy jeans, and literally the exact same watch. Originality must’ve been forbidden in that neck of the woods.

  “Marina boys,” Marcus said as he surveyed his options. “They’re all gay at heart, but so far in the closet they live in Narnia. Well chosen, though, Sean. No distractions for me.”

  Sean smiled as they reached a booth in the back of the bar. Sean ushered Krista in, then slid in next to her. “I know you too well.”

  Marcus slid in the other side, everyone else following suit.

  “Why didn’t you tell the world about my acting?” Sean asked when everyone was settled.

  “You had enough rumors. Then there were the problems with you and Krista. It just didn’t seem like you needed any more distractions.”

  “Well, thanks, man. I appreciate it. All of you. It would have been embarrassing, to say the least.”

  “Don’t worry, Sean,” Kate said, waving at the waitress. “I am doing reconnaissance to launch a counter-attack on the ol’ crones. I am currently digging up dirt. The gossip will commence as soon as I have something solid.”

  “I meant to do that in the beginning, but then I got busy and never got around to it,” Krista admitted.

  “I have plenty, honey,” Marcus said to Kate. “You just come see me. I’ll give you something to work off of.”

  “What’s your story, Ben?” Ray asked. “How did Tory get you? We know he offered Marcus more money, but what was your turning point?”

  Ben, oddly quiet all night, shrugged, “Part of the reason I went to Dexico was because of Krista. Sure, money and resources were good, but I got there by working with Krista from our dining room table. Now I am being offered more money, with more opportunity, with a tuition reimbursement program—Krista seems to be my lucky penny. I figure I best stick with her.”

  Krista’s eyes teared up, “But I’m moving away.”

  “So am I,” Ben said. “I have a year left in school, but I think I’ll complete it online.”

  There was a stunned silence. Ben shrugged again. “If not for you, who’d do my finances?”

  Out of the corner of her eye, Krista saw Sean’s head bow again.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  The month was a blur. Krista gave Abbey and her job a month to find someone new. She packed everything up with the help of a pissed-off Kate and a teary Jasmine. Krista had finally met Tom Earnshaw, Mr. Montgomery’s boss, as he offered her a bigger raise and her own office. She told them what she was getting from Tory, and it turned out it was nearly what Mr. Montgomery was making, so they in no way could match it without causing some serious rifts within the department.

  Since Ben would be moving, too, Abbey was furious. She constantly bitched about the art and boxes. The boxes because they were left everywhere. The art because the day after the issue with Jim, Ben started on a new piece. It was a large one, and again staged in the middle of the living room amid plastic sheets to protect the furniture. It was mostly abstract, hinting at a person in movement, except for a pair of liquid coal eyes so hate-filled the painting immediately put the viewer on edge. It managed to portray Jim’s danger, insanity, and all-around nightmarish quality. The trick of the painting, and why it was his best to date, was that the fear Ben was portraying—his fear—was not on the canvas. It was inspired by the work and felt by the viewer.

  Krista had thought it was just her; that the painting reminded her of Jim. It turned out, though, when Marcus, Sean and the girls came to view it, that that wasn’t the case at all. Even Abbey stopped to stare at it, getting the shivers and moving away.

  Marcus was convinced Ben was exaggerating. And to a certain extent he was, since Sean didn’t think of Jim with the same amount of fear. But after Krista dug out a picture, and explained Jim had added muscle and lost sanity, Marcus looked with wide eyes at Sean.

  “Why do you still have a picture of him?” Ben asked with a subdued voice.

  “In case I ever needed to show the cops what he looked like. Also…to remember. To be smarter in the future.”

  “Sean, you held your own against that? He’s a monster.”

  “In many ways,” Krista said. No one commented after that. At least, not in her hearing, which was good enough.

  Even though the piece was unreal good, Krista would not allow Sean to buy it. She didn’t want Jim’s tarnish to be that close to Sean. She didn’t want those two pieces of her life close to each other. Instead, Ben showed Tory a picture of it in one of their meet-ups, and Tory got interested. He made a special trip to view it, and bought it and two other pieces, on the spot. The picture of Jim, properly entitled Fear, woul
d go in the sword room to inspire the same fear to those viewing weapons of death.

  Ben had to talk Tory down on price. It was unanimously agreed that Ben should never go into sales.

  All said, it was the saddest month of Krista’s life. She spent every moment she could with Sean. They rode in together and left together. They hung out with Kate and Jasmine together. They went to Ray’s and watched sports together. They went to bed and woke up together. As far as the relationship went, it was the best month of her life. They got along so well it was sickening. They talked and shared, reveling the most intimate parts of their selves. Why not? Soon all they would have were memories.

  They agreed to not talk once Krista left. Sean worried for her safety. Krista worried for her heart. She convinced herself it was for the best. It would’ve been a bittersweet pain, but it would also mean she could never move on. She wanted to be with him. Forever. So if she was talking to him, she wouldn’t want to talk to anyone else. She wouldn’t want to move on.

  Even though they had sex almost every day, Krista still often cried herself to sleep. Granted, it was in Sean’s arms, but she couldn’t help herself. She dreaded the day she had to say goodbye.

  On Krista’s last day, the art department threw her a giant farewell. And no one could do parties like the art department. They got the fiesta catered and spent loads of company money on banners. Funny things Krista had said, memories, and all sorts of quips were posted in all available space. Colorful paper was thrown around like confetti—yes, they knew how much that drove her crazy. They thought it was hilarious. Most of the people didn’t know her all that well, but they were so used to seeing her and hearing about her from Marcus that they included her as one of their own. Therefore, she got a big send-off.

  In the afternoon she had a final clean-out of her desk. She had planned to meet everyone for drinks after work, was already buzzed from the art department ”special”’ punch, and was thinking of Sean when Marcus walked in.

  “Geegee,” he said, sinking into the visitor chair.

  “Hey Marcus, how’s it going?”

  “Great. Good party. I had a hand in it, obviously.”

  “Oh obviously, yeah. That was what I was thinking. I said to myself, ‘Wow, this is sure nice. It must have been Marcus’s doing’.”

  Marcus laughed and nodded. “So, when are you heading down there?”

  “Tomorrow.”

  “Tomorrow? Aren’t you taking any time off?”

  “Yes, actually. I am taking a week once I get there to get set up.”

  “Oh. You taking anyone along?”

  “Nope. All on my own. I need a week to cry before I start work.”

  Marcus nodded, “He’s really not going, huh? Hasn’t changed his mind?”

  Krista sagged into her chair as her tear ducts went active. “He can’t. He has to stay. His house, his sister coming—her job had already transferred her here and she wouldn’t be able to get another transfer before a year, earliest—his job…”

  “And you aren’t going to keep it going until you’re sure Jim is really gone?”

  “Gone where? He’s in jail now, but he’ll get out. He’ll come back. That isn’t even a maybe. He’ll come looking for me, and if I’m with Sean, for him, too. I have to go. And this time, I’ll change my name. Hopefully that’ll throw him off. Hopefully he won’t go for Sean if I’m not around.”

  “I think Sean can handle him, but what about when Sean gets the title? Can’t he move after?”

  Tears overflowed as Krista shrugged, “I guess not. He seemed pretty adamant about the split. He gave a lot of reasons…”

  “Huh.”

  “It’s what he wants.”

  “Clean break. And he thinks it’s for the best? Really?”

  Krista shrugged again. She wanted to keep it alive. She loved Sean with her whole heart. Everything about him she loved. She wanted to be with him every second. The depth of her feelings was a first for her. She could not imagine saying goodbye. But he was firm in the decision, so she had to respect that.

  “When are you starting?” she asked to change the subject. Thankfully, he let her.

  “Next month. I had more things to tie off here before I could get everything in order.”

  “Oh, right.”

  “What area did you settle on?” Marcus asked.

  “Venice. The commute won’t be awesome, but I am finally going to learn to surf!”

  Marcus flashed her his striking smile. He had recently whitened his teeth so there was a pleasing contrast between his winning smile and his handsome face. No wonder he drove the boys mad.

  “How many bedrooms?”

  “Two. Why, you planning a visit already?”

  “Yes! I hear the boys by the beach are gorgeous! I chose to live in West Hollywood.”

  “Wait…” Krista thought over what she’d just heard. “What? You are moving down there?” Her heart started to thud.

  “You aren’t connected with the hub, Geegee. How would you survive without me?”

  Krista bounded off her chair and flew around the desk. She threw herself into his lap. He wasn’t expecting the force of it and both of them went over onto the floor.

  “Gee—“ Marcus got himself up and straightened his clothes before he helped her up. “You are attractive, but I am still gay, honey.”

  She laughed at him, “When was this decided?”

  “When I signed. Tory said you were going to the L.A. branch. He was discreet, but I knew why, of course. I already knew Ben was going. He said he wanted to keep us together so he offered a sweet little relocation bump and I was sold. Hell, girl, I’ve done San Francisco. Bring on L.A.!”

  “Slut! Yay! You are going to have to build a whole new Dark Hub.” Krista shook her head at the horror of it.

  “Oh,” Marcus waved that thought away, “the hardest part will be dimming the lights. I’m a pro at networking.”

  It was at that moment that Kate walked in, thunder and storm clouds, like she usually was these days. It did not sit well with her what Sean was doing, which in her opinion, was taking the cowardly way out. She’d been chomping at the bit to have a serious discussion with him ever since she’d heard.

  “Krista,” Kate stated as she took a seat.

  “What, don’t I rate high enough for a hello?” Marcus asked, mock offended. He knew Kate’s M.O. these days, and was probably excited for the tirade he knew was coming.

  She turned to him. “Hello.”

  “Well, hi Kate, so nice you could stop in,” he responded pleasantly.

  She rolled her eyes and turned back to Krista. “I’ve just come from talking to your soon-to-be ex-boyfriend, which you ardently love. And that ardently loves you, but is too chicken-shit to man up. Do you know what that asshole said to me?”

  “Butt-out?” Marcus fluttered his eyelashes at Kate’s hostile stare.

  “Yes, in so many words!” Kate scoffed. “Can you believe that? I mean, let’s just break this down, Krista, because I can’t be the only intelligent person in this threesome.”

  “Kate, we’ve been over this—“

  Kate cut Krista off. “No, we are going to talk about each point, and then you are going to go beat his head against the wall until it gets through, and then you’ll get your happily-fucking-ever-after, got that?”

  “You sound angry…” Marcus smiled when Kate threw him a look that promised pain.

  “We’ll do the dumb ones first.” Kate ticked off her pointer finger. “He is afraid Jim will find you through him. But Jim probably has no clue what his last name is. He certainly doesn’t know where Sean lives. And oh, he does know Jasmine and my last names, and we are also a way to find you. What a dumb-fucking reason.”

  She ticked off her second finger. “He can’t move to L.A.? Okay, yes, that makes sense. He has a house, I get that. But Cassie can get transferred again and Sean can eventually work it out after he gets Junior V.P.”

  “Just to play the devil’s advocate
,” Marcus said, a touch more seriously. “He doesn’t know when he can get that title. Not with any assurance. It could be years. He’d be stringing Krista along for all that time. Plus, the housing market is in a slump. Selling right now is a great way to take a loss.”

  “You guys…” Krista whined.

  “Three,” Kate said, arguing with Marcus now, “we all know he’s just punking out with goodbye. We know it, Marcus. That’s his deal. Go running when things get tough, right? Because that fucking guy could absolutely do some long distance. It’s like, an hour plane ride. What the hell? He makes enough.”

  “You guys, stop,” Krista said, wiping away a tear. “I’ve talked to him about all this, okay? This is what he wants. I didn’t want to ruin the little time we had fighting.”

  “No, this isn’t what he wants, Krista,” Kate stated. “He doesn’t know what he wants.”

  “What do you want me to say, Kate?” Krista asked dejectedly. “He broke up with me. He doesn’t want to keep it up. He’s repeated himself enough times that now I look like a fool begging him not to dump me. I do have some pride.”

  Tears made streaks down Krista’s face. Kate’s temper deflated and she slumped, the last of her fight gone out of her.

  “Honey, he won’t last forever,” Marcus said to Krista in a soft voice. “I know that young stud, and while he can be stubborn, he eventually does see reason. He loves you, and he’ll find his way back to you. Give it a few months, and you’ll see. Knowing him, he’ll probably just show up one day like everything is fine.”

  Krista sighed and wiped more tears from her face. “I hope so.”

  “That’s the thing with men, we always know best, but we have to do it on our terms.”

  “Know best, huh? Bunch of bullshit,” Kate spat.

  Marcus fluttered his eyelashes at her again.

  Finally, the day came to say goodbye. Krista had decided to drive the rental truck down. She wanted to see the coast. She also wanted eight or so hours in which to cry before she got to her lonely new home. Ben, who chose to live closer to work, had to finish out some things with school and his parents before he headed down. He was planning on flying.