Gut Feeling

by Victoria Browne

  His brother followed him inside, pulling up a chair and sitting down at the desk opposite.

  ‘Dave, there’s nothing you can do if she doesn’t wanna see you… Why don’t you drop a note through her door before we go?’

  ‘Yeah, you’re probably right, mate. So when are we leaving?’

  ‘Tonight.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘The bloke needs it done by Thursday. It’s OK, the job’s been priced accordingly.’

  Dave sighed. Money was the least of worries. He leaned back in his chair, putting his feet up on the desk. What a mess over something so stupid, he thought.

  * * *

  Rachel did not get home until gone 9 pm that night to find Ash, Gemma, Jules and Leon sitting in the garden with one empty bottle of wine plus another half-drunk bottle being poured out. She looked around the patio where they all sat, noticing that her patio floor lights had been fixed, and were shining slightly under the early evening light. Gemma noticed her looking and proceeded to explain proudly how she had fixed them. Rachel beamed at the sight of her lights working again and bounced back inside to change out of her work clothes. Not long afterwards she wandered back out to the garden, joining the others and sitting down next to Ash.

  ‘How are you bearing up, Ash?’

  Ash gave half a smile, taking a sip of wine. ‘I spoke to my sister in New York today.’

  ‘Oh really? How is she?’

  ‘Yeah good.’ Ash looked sheepish, finding it difficult to hold Rachel’s stare.

  ‘So what have I missed?’ Rachel looked round at everyone for some kind of explanation as to the sudden change in atmosphere.

  ‘She’s flying out first thing.’

  ‘OK! So why are you looking funny at me?’

  ‘Rach… I may be going to… go back with her. To live.’

  ‘What!’ Rachel jumped out of her seat, screaming at the top of her voice every reason why she should not leave. After a good minute or two she sat down again, looking around the table at everyone’s faces staring back at her in amazement.

  ‘Well, we didn’t think you’d go that cuckoo,’ Leon remarked, though he himself was equally upset at Ash’s decision.

  ‘Ash, please don’t do this,’ Rachel was shaking, but the tone of her voice had returned to normal.

  Ash swallowed, placing a hand on Rachel’s leg. ‘Rach, calm down honey, I said possibly. That could mean for a holiday.’

  ‘Don’t patronise me Ash. I’m not a child.’

  Ash wriggled nervously around on her chair, with the others staring at her and wondering how she would get out of this one. ‘Nothing is set in stone but things don’t seem to be working for me here.’

  ‘We work,’ Rachel’s voice had risen again.

  Ash gave a small laugh. ‘Yeah, we work—all of us work.’

  ‘So then don’t go.’

  Silence fell around the table. Ash didn’t have a reply—well, not a truthful one anyway. Leon looked at Jules with an odd apprehensive look. Jules nodded as if in agreement; he stood up, scanning the table for everyone’s attention then cleared his throat to speak.

  ‘I have something to tell you.’

  Rachel threw her hands up in the air. ‘Don’t tell me you’re bloody moving countries too.’

  Ash swung her head around to look at Rachel. ‘I said possibly. Possibly means not set in stone Remember.’

  ‘OK, Ash, OK. Leon, sorry, tell us your news,’ Rachel apologised sarcastically.

  Leon took a quick sip of wine placing it back on the table with everybody watching him intensely. ‘I am moving to France.’

  ‘You are fucking joking me,’ Rachel stood, and then with her hands on her head, she paced the length of the patio.

  Leon started laughing so hard he was practically doubled over in his chair.

  ‘Leon, that’s not fair. Tell them the truth.’ Jules shot him an ice-cold look.

  ‘What?’ Rachel stopped dead in her tracks. ‘That is not funny, you twat.’

  ‘Alright sorry—bad joke. Sit down Rach, I think you will need to for this.’

  They all sat still, waiting for him to speak again.

  ‘I am gay. Well… bisexual I think more than gay because I do like women still.’

  Silence fell over the table. Ash looked at Gemma smiling. As Gemma didn’t know Leon as well as the others, she was looking slightly confused at the announcement.

  Rachel leaned over towards Leon, shaking her head. ‘Honey, we could have told you that years ago.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Oh come on, Leon.’ Rachel’s face had lit up with the new conversation. ‘You have three girl best friends, love fashion, and have never had a proper girlfriend.’

  ‘So? What does that prove? I sleep with loads of woman.’

  ‘Babe, you are one of our best friends. We know you better than you know yourself.’

  ‘Well that went down better than I thought.’ Leon gulped down the rest of his wine, a tad disappointed that his announcement had not been met with more astonishment, but also happy in the thought that his much loved friends did not care one way or the other.

  Ash stayed up talking for a while but retired off to bed with Gemma in tow. She got undressed, lying down on top of the bed staring back up at the blob of BluTack on the ceiling, wondering what Dave was doing now. Replaying out the conversation she had overheard, Ash’s anguish intensified about it.

  ‘Dave, Peter’s brother . . . She was in his room . . . Ash? Ibiza . . . Giving him a blowjob . . . some drunken girl . . . Sassy.’

  She turned on her side and stared to cry. How can this be happening to me again? I must trust my gut feeling. Whatever happens I am to trust my gut feeling, she demanded of herself. Slowly, after a river of tears, she eventually managed to drift off into a shallow, troubled sleep.

  * * *

  Laughter filled the garden where Leon and Rachel sat talking; Jules had popped out to the local petrol station for more cigarettes and snacks.

  ‘So what painting did your dad get for you then?’ Rachel asked Leon.

  ‘Ah. Now here’s a story…’ Leon sat forward. ‘In the end my dad had a meeting, so I went to meet the bloke on my own. He was some French art dealer called Trent.’

  ‘Trent? That’s a name?’

  ‘Yeah… So he showed me a few paintings, none of which took my fancy, then offered to take me out for lunch. I went thinking it was some kind of soft sale tactic.’

  ‘Was it?’

  ‘Probably. I ended up buying the damn painting. But not before getting absolutely wasted on red wine.’

  ‘That doesn’t sound like a soft sell.’

  ‘Well, you may be right there, because I ended up back at his four million pound flat overlooking London, rogering him over his office desk in front of the painting I ended up buying.’

  Rachel stared at him for a moment, open-mouthed, astonished. Leon looked pleased that he had finally got the reaction he desired.

  ‘Oh my God, Leon, your life is so much more interesting than mine, you slapper.’

  They both swung their heads around to see Jules walking back out into the garden.

  ‘Hi guys, I’m back. Rach, your neighbours down the road are having a party. They just invited us to come down.’

  ‘I wondered where the music was coming from. Leon do you fancy it?’

  ‘Sounds like fun to me.’

  Chapter 17

  Ash woke early, joining Rachel in the kitchen, who looked like death warmed up and sat slumped over the kitchen table, trying to drink a cup of coffee before going to work. Hands shaking with alcohol abuse she tried to compose herself in order to function for the rest of the day. Ash put down two pieces of toast, asking her if she wanted some too, but all Rachel could do was shake her head, pulling a face as if repulsed by even the thought of Ash’s offer.

  ‘I heard you lot go out last night. What time did you get home?’

  ‘Four.’

  ‘Oh dear,’ As
h said, looking down at her watch. 7.33 am.

  Rachel stood up picking up her handbag, giving a quick wave as she slowly walked out of the kitchen. Ash heard the front door open and close, and moments later Gemma came tottering into the kitchen in a pair of oversized dog-head slippers, and a pink undersized nightie.

  ‘I’ll have a slice. How are you feeling today, hon?’

  ‘The same.’

  Ash heard her phone ring from the bedroom. Her heart skipped at the prospect of speaking to Kelly. She ran off to answer it, leaving Gemma to finish off the toast.

  At least twenty minutes had passed. Gemma sat out in the garden, wondering who Ash was talking to for this long. She presumed it was Dave but not long after she saw Ash emerge through the patio doors not looking at all upset.

  ‘Everything OK, Ash?’

  ‘Kelly is at JFK Airport, waiting to board. She said she’ll be landing in England at 3.30 this afternoon.’

  ‘Blimey, that was quick. Does she need a lift from the airport?’

  ‘No, she said Dad had booked her a rental car.’

  ‘Be nice to see her again. Feels like a lifetime ago now. Just wish it was under different circumstances.’

  * * *

  Later that day after they had minced around with clothes and make-up, both the girls jumped into Ash’s car heading over to her flat to get it ready for her Kelly to stay. Gemma jumped out the car at the end of Ash’s road to have a look in Harrods before meeting Ash back at her flat. Gemma was completely overwhelmed by the dazzling variety of goods on offer and was like a child in a sweet shop. Meanwhile Ash drove on, turning into her cobbled road and stopping the car at the bottom of her steps just in time to see Mr Schnitzer leaving.

  He walked over to update her of the goings on over the last few days, telling her about Rachel and Dave shouting at each other. She was of course well aware of this as she had been there, hidden away at the time, so she just listened, looking appreciative at the information. He then informed her that two identical looking men had come around last night. Ash’s smile faded. She thanked him, walked up to her front door and let herself in. On the doormat there was piece of paper. She picked it up, turning it over to see a note from Dave.

  Ash

  Darling, please call me, I’m begging you.

  You misheard Issi’s conversation. Please call me—

  I can explain what happened.

  I love you I would never do that to anyone, especially not you babe. You are the best thing in my life right now.

  Please just let me explain. If you don’t believe me after that, then fine.

  Dave x

  Ash pondered over the note for a while, her head telling her to hear him out but her heart not wanting the pain. No she would just ignore it until she knew what she wanted to do for sure. She placed the note on the coffee table while she organised the flat. She could not get Dave’s request to explain himself out of her head. She tried to Hoover and dust, she even remade her unslept in bed. Finally, giving in, she dialled his number.

  ‘Hello Dave.’

  ‘Ash babe, thank you for calling.’

  ‘Well?’ her tone was blunt. She walked out on to her balcony.

  ‘It was Pete. Him and Issi brought back a girl from a bar one night, I didn’t even go out, I stayed in. Anyway this girl Sassy snuck into my room and I woke up to find her in my bed. Ash, babe, I went mad, kicked her out. Honestly, nothing happened. It’s the truth, you have to believe me.’

  ‘Why would a strange girl sneak into your room?’

  ‘I dunno, cos she was drunk, but that’s the truth.’

  She didn’t say anything. They remained quiet on different ends of the line for quite a while.

  ‘It just doesn’t make any sense. You pass up on going out, knowing your girlfriend is in Ibiza. Issi and Pete bring some random girl home and she aimlessly wanders into your bed.’

  ‘God, Ash, please believe me. I honestly haven’t done anything wrong, I swear to you, babe. Look I’m away on a job. I’ll be back the day after tomorrow. I need to see you.’

  ‘I don’t know,’ Ash started to get flustered.

  ‘Please, Ash.’

  ‘I need to think. Just stay away for now.’

  ‘Ash!’

  Ash put the phone down then moments after it rang again. This time she did not answer as she watched Dave’s name flash up on the screen. The landline rang but again she didn’t answer.

  Gemma returned from her shopping trip carrying a new Fendi bag, and a new pair of Jimmy Choo shoes, looking very pleased with herself.

  ‘Some things you just have to have, Ash, even if your credit card limit shouts at you.’

  Ash held out the note for Gemma to read. ‘It was on the mat when I came in.’

  Gemma read the note twice, as if to see some kind of hidden clue that would uncover the truth. Ash told her about the phone call over a cup of coffee. They sat together for the best part of the day, mulling over Issi’s conversation, the note and Dave’s explanation, by the end of which Gemma was sure Dave was lying through his teeth. Dave and Issi had clearly made sure their stories corroborated each other’s once they realised Ash had heard Issi’s conversation, and Ash and Gemma had decided not to fall for man lies this time.

  Before they knew it, the time had passed by as Ash glanced down at her watch, 6.45. Ash pulled her phone out to call Kelly and check she was alright when a knock on the door interrupted her. She rushed to answer, knowing it must be her sister. She threw her arms around Kelly as she stood on the doorstep, bags in hand.

  ‘Oh Kell, I’m so glad you’re here. Come in, come in. I’ll make a coffee.’

  Ash took her bags then ushered her through the lounge out on to the balcony where Gemma waited excitedly.

  ‘Oh my God, Gemma, What are you doing here?’ Kelly said, with an American twang to her English accent.

  ‘Hey Kell, long time. How was the flight?’

  ‘Good bit of turbulence but I’m here, you know.’

  ‘Sit down, sit down,’ Ash rushed round her like a mother hen. Kelly pulled up a chair, happy to relax after her long drive. Kelly looked like an older version of Ash, long legs, slender long neck, dark wavy hair and a lovely golden tan. As the evening drew in, Ash caught up on what her family had been up to. Kelly had brought over photos of everyone to show Ash how brilliant their lives were in the hope of enticing her.

  Inevitably the conversation lead on to Dave. Kelly listened quietly to both Ash and Gemma; she instantly sensed that Gemma did not believe Dave but wondered if that was down to the fact that she had gone through a divorce on the grounds of infidelity, so she kept an open mind.

  ‘So have you sat down with Dave and asked him all these questions, Ash?’

  ‘No need. I know when someone is lying.’

  ‘Do you?’

  ‘Kell—’

  ‘OK, OK… look, it’s your life.’

  ‘What did Dad say?’ Ash winced.

  ‘He’s delighted… delighted you’re coming home with me—not that, you know.’

  ‘Umm I know—and Mum? Why haven’t they called me?’

  ‘She is fine about it, everything is fine. I told them not to call, Mum’s itching to talk to you but I wasn’t sure how you were dealing with it. Call them now, Mum has her cellphone on her just in case you do phone. I said I would get you to check in once I got here.’

  Ash rushed to the phone in the hallway and dialled the international code. Gemma took the time to find out how American living measured up to London, and listened in awe.

  Chapter 18

  Cumbria, 9.30 pm

  Dave stood at the bar in a small country pub situated in the middle of nowhere, watching the barmaid pull him a pint of Guinness. He stared at the glass, concentrating on the liquid settling inside as it sat on the other side of the bar, still under the tap.

  ‘It won’t be long, sir—£2.80 please.’ She held her hand out, breaking Dave’s trance.

  ‘Er… yeah.’ He
quickly rummaged around in his tracksuit pocket for some loose change, spreading it across the bar, counting the correct money out.

  ‘I’ll bring it out to you.’

  Dave smiled, turning to walk out into the evening air. Dusk had started to fall. There was the smell of a bonfire burning, drifting over from a small farmhouse in the distance. He sat down at the table where his brother was already sitting. There was a thud of dead weight as the bench took the heavy load of his lifeless body.

  Moments later, the barmaid followed him out with a perfectly poured pint, placing it down in front of him. He smiled.

  ‘This place is nice.’

  ‘Yeah.’ Dave looked over at the field next to them.

  ‘Start early in the morning, get finished.’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘Got quite a lot done today, didn’t we.’

  ‘Umm.’

  ‘It’s a small town here.’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘For God’s sake, man, snap out of it, will ya.’

  Dave looked back at his brother. ‘What the hell am I going to do if she won’t believe me?’

  ‘She will. She just needs to think it over. Mate, she’s a bird. They like to stew over things, and blow them out of proportion before they listen to reason.’

  ‘She didn’t seem to believe it when I spoke to her. Or blow it out of proportion. She didn’t even wanna talk about it.’

  ‘Look, don’t worry. I’ll go round and talk to her if you need me to, and Issi. Brov, it will be fine. I’ll make sure of it.’

  ‘Yeah, cheers, Pete.’

  Just then a horse walked over to the fence next to them, stretching its head over as if trying to reach for their drinks.

  ‘Wow!’ Peter pulled his pint away, looking at Dave in surprise.

  ‘Easy boy!’ Dave smiled

  ‘Easy boy! How about go away boy.’ Peter did not look impressed.

  ‘Ha what’s up, brov. Scared the horse can down it faster than you?’

  ‘Exactly.’