by Susan Stoker
“I don’t give a shit what Colt did in the past. Just as I don’t care what you did. You aren’t perfect either, and what you just told me was rude and bitchy, but I’m going to let it go because I want to be your friend, you’re married to my brother and I truly believe you were trying to help me. I don’t expect Colt to be some sort of paragon. The bottom line is that he’s kind to me—and that’s what I care about. He’s also truly concerned about the men under his command, including my brother, your husband. And when I called last week, freaked out and scared because men broke into my apartment, Colt was the one who got me through that situation. He kept me calm so the men didn’t find me. I know exactly who Colt Robinson is. I think it’s you who doesn’t.”
The silence in the room after her outburst was oppressive, but Macie refused to look away from Mary. It took everything she had to do it, but she held eye contact with her.
“I’m sorry,” Mary said quietly. “God, you’re right. I was out way of line. But in my defense, I was doing it because I care about you. Because I like you. I’m trying to stop saying whatever I’m thinking, but I’m obviously failing. Forgive me?”
“Of course I do,” Macie told her. The last thing she wanted was to fight with her sister-in-law.
“I’m sorry you were uncomfortable at the reception,” Casey said. “Was it something someone said?”
Macie took a deep breath. She could either confess about her condition or make up something to blow off the other woman’s concern. But she wanted friends. Wanted to be able to open up to them when something good or bad happened in her life. If she lied now, it would be almost impossible to explain later.
Making a split-second decision, she said, “I have chronic anxiety. I take meds for it, but sometimes they don’t always help.” She kept the explanation simple, and held her breath to see how they’d react.
“That sucks,” Casey said.
“Wow, I can’t imagine how hard that would be,” Rayne commented.
But it was Mary who blew her mind. She got up out of the chair she’d been sitting in and came over to Macie. She knelt in front of her and put a hand on her knee. “I’m sorry,” Mary said. “I should know better than anyone not to assume things about people. And for the record, you seem as if you always have everything under perfect control. Yeah, you were nervous that day you came to the bank, but I figured it was because you hadn’t met me before.”
“I went home after that meeting, took a pill I only use in extreme situations, and slept for twelve hours,” Macie admitted.
“For what it’s worth, I admire you,” Mary said. “You’ve been through hell and you haven’t let it beat you. You’re tough as nails.”
Macie gaped at her. She knew what Mary had been through. Not only her childhood, but with the breast cancer she’d fought…twice. There was no way she thought Macie was tough. Most days, she felt like a wreck.
“But I can see it now. You’re perfect for the commander.”
All sorts of things raced through Macie’s head at that comment. That she was perfect for him because she needed taking care of. That she was too weak to get by without a man at her side. But then Mary continued.
“Because your heart is so big, you see the good in anyone. And you worry about things because you care. Too much. I think the commander needs that. He needs someone to care about him the way he cares about all the soldiers under his command.”
Macie blinked. Mary was exactly right when it came to Colt. He worked hard. Worried about the soldiers under his command…and their families.
She thought about the last week, how happy he’d been when she’d made dinner for them. When she’d done laundry. When she’d changed the sheets on the bed they’d been sleeping on all week. She’d thought he was being grateful because he was trying to make her feel better about living there temporarily, but she realized now that he’d probably always had to do those things himself.
“Shit,” Casey said, wiping tears from under her eyes. “You guys are making me cry. Bitches.”
Mary smiled at Macie, then turned to Casey. “That’s us. The bitch squad.”
Macie couldn’t believe she thought someone calling her a bitch was funny. In the past, the insinuation could send her to bed for a few days. But it felt like a compliment to be compared to Mary, who never took shit from anyone. Macie liked her. Ford had talked to her a lot about Mary’s background, and had warned her not to take what she said personally. He’d told her that his wife was brash, but it was only to guard herself from being hurt. It made sense then, and it made even more sense now.
She wasn’t mad at Mary for saying what she had about Colt. The other woman had been trying to look out for Macie. But the thing was that she didn’t give a shit what Colt had done in the past. She didn’t know the details of what had happened, but she trusted Colt. Knew he wouldn’t hurt anyone if the situation didn’t call for it. And curiously enough, what Mary said made Macie feel even safer with Colt. He’d make sure her ex didn’t get anywhere near her. Of that she had no doubt.
“Have they found the men who broke into your house, or your ex?” Rayne asked, as if she could read Macie’s mind.
“Not yet. Truck went to my apartment the day before yesterday and realized that someone had been in there. They didn’t trash the place, but they’d definitely been looking for whatever it was that Teddy had left. The cops didn’t find anything in my safe room where Teddy told the guys whatever it was would be,” Macie told them, already feeling more comfortable with these women than she had with anyone in a very long time.
“Holy crap!” Mary exclaimed.
“Drugs?” Casey asked.
“That’s just it. I don’t know. The cops brought a drug-sniffing dog to my place and he didn’t find anything. He alerted to a few different places, but the handler thinks it was because Teddy had been there and probably had drugs with him when he was.” Macie hated that he’d been in her place and might have had drugs on him, but she was trying to move past that. Colt had been a big help in that arena, reminding her that she wasn’t the one doing drugs, and that she didn’t know what Teddy had been doing.
“Do you need us to go to your apartment and clean up, or get you anything?” Emily asked.
Macie stared at her incredulously.
“What?” Emily asked when Macie didn’t answer her question. “Should I not have asked? Does it make you anxious when people are in your space?”
Macie shook her head. “No. I mean, yes, but that’s not…you don’t know me,” she blurted, stumbling over her words.
Emily smiled. “I know you’re very important to the commander. I know that he requested our men ask us to come over today because he was worried you were here most days by yourself. I know he told Fletch that he would be off this weekend because he was going to spend it with you. I might not know you that well yet, but I want to. Besides, going to Lampasas will get me out of the house and some peace and quiet for a while. I love my kids, but they exhaust me.”
“I’m happy to help too,” Casey added.
“Me too,” Mary said with a grin.
“I…thank you,” Macie said. “But I don’t need anything. Truck got me some stuff the other day, and Colt went over there the other night. He said he wanted to make sure my fridge was cleaned out, but I think he was hoping to find one of the men who broke into my apartment lurking around.”
“That sounds like something one of our men would do,” Casey said with a smile.
Just then, Annie came back into the house. She was out of breath and talking a mile a minute. “Mommy! I made a new friend. Her name is Sam. That’s short for Samantha. I taught her how to play soldier and I really like her!”
Emily smiled at her daughter and gave the other women a look as if to say “See? Exhausting.”
“That’s great, baby. Now, go wash your hands before you get dirt all over the commander’s house. I saw a bathroom next to the kitchen.”
Without a word, Annie spun and headed for the wa
shroom to clean up.
The rest of the afternoon passed relatively smoothly. Macie was surprised at how comfortable she felt with the three women, but it definitely helped to have Annie there. Her presence kept anyone from bringing up anything that might be upsetting to the little girl. They laughed, gossiped, and talked about what it was like to be an Army wife.
Before she knew it, it was quarter to four and the front door was opening and Colt was home.
Macie looked up and smiled at him. He saw her and came straight to her side. He leaned down and kissed her on the cheek and straightened. “Hey.”
“Hey,” she replied.
“You look like you’re having a good time,” he observed.
Macie nodded.
“It doesn’t smell like you’ve started anything for dinner?” He raised a brow, making the statement a question.
Macie frowned. “No, I hadn’t thought about it yet. It’ll be easy enough to make something though. Grilled chicken? Hamburgers?”
He smiled and ran a hand over her hair. “I have a craving for Chinese. I can go and pick it up. I just didn’t want to bring anything home if you’d put in the effort to make us something already.”
“Chinese sounds great.”
Colt smiled at her. “Perfect. You stay and chat. I have some things I need to finish in my office upstairs. I’ll come back in a bit and you can tell me what you want. Okay?”
“Okay.”
And it wasn’t until then that he turned and nodded at the other women. “Good to see you,” he said politely.
Mary was staring at Colt as if she’d never seen him before. Casey and Emily smiled at him and returned his greeting.
“Hi,” Annie said boisterously.
“Hey, Annie. How are you? Have you been practicing the obstacle course for the upcoming kids’ contest?”
“Yes!” she shouted, and nodded her head so hard, Macie thought it would come right off her shoulders. “I can’t wait! I took five seconds off my time the last time I did it.”
Colt wandered over and put his hand on her shoulder. “I have no doubt you’re going to win that trophy,” he said seriously. “I think you can absolutely do whatever you want to.”
“I want to be a doctor,” she said. “And help soldiers when they get hurt on missions so they can come home to their families.”
Macie blinked in surprise. Most eight-year-olds she’d come across still wanted to be ballerinas or actresses. Annie’s goal was much more specific…and lofty.
“Anyone who’s in your unit will be very lucky,” Colt said solemnly. Then he turned, smiled at the others, winked at Macie, and headed upstairs to his office.
“Holy crap,” Casey whispered.
“I take everything back that I said,” Mary mused with a shake of her head.
“He only had eyes for you,” Emily told Macie with a smile. “We might not’ve existed for all the attention he paid to us.”
“He wasn’t trying to be rude,” Macie defended Colt. “He just wanted to make sure I was okay. I was nervous about today, and he knew it.”
Mary shook her head. “He looks at you like Truck looks at me. Like Beatle looks at Casey and Fletch looks at Emily.”
Macie wanted to protest. Wanted to deny Mary’s words, but she couldn’t. She’d seen the way her brother looked at Mary. She’d been at the wedding and seen how all the men on Colt’s team treated their women. It was true. She’d gotten used to being the center of Colt’s attention, and she’d convinced herself he was simply being polite. But deep down, she knew better. They had a connection. A deep one.
She didn’t respond, just simply smiled.
“How does Daddy look at you, Mommy?” Annie asked with a confused tilt of her head.
Emily tousled her daughter’s hair. “Like I’m his wife, of course.”
Annie frowned. “I don’t get it.”
“You will, baby. When you’re older.”
Annie rolled her eyes. “You always say that.”
“That’s because it’s true.”
“Uh oh, Mommy! Look! It’s Ethan time!” Annie said and pointed at Emily’s shirt.
There were two wet patches on the front of it.
“Oh crap. You’re right,” Emily said, then looked up at the group in embarrassment. “He usually eats around this time and even though I pumped”—she gestured at herself—“my body is on the same schedule he is.”
The others all laughed, but Macie could only look at Emily in horror. Not because she’d leaked through her shirt, but because if that was her, she would be embarrassed beyond belief. She wouldn’t ever be able to face the other women again. She couldn’t understand how Emily wasn’t completely mortified.
“I should probably get going too,” Casey said. “I’ve got papers to grade for tomorrow.”
“And I just want to see my husband,” Mary said with a smirk.
Macie walked the women to the door and said goodbye to Casey and Mary. Annie ran ahead to the car so she could start it, apparently one of her favorite things to do.
It was just her and Emily standing in the doorway, and Macie struggled to find something to say and not stare at the wet splotches on her shirt.
“I’m sorry if I embarrassed you,” Emily said softly.
At that, Macie’s eyes whipped up to hers. “What?”
“I can tell you’re uncomfortable. And I’m sorry.”
“I just…if that had happened to me, I would die of mortification. Then I’d have to take one of my strong pills and hole up in a dark room with my headphones on for the rest of the night.”
Emily chuckled. “Having kids does wonders for my tolerance for embarrassment. Annie has a habit of saying the absolute worst thing at exactly the worst times. And Ethan is always hungry. If I don’t feed him on schedule, he screams bloody murder. I’ve learned it’s easier to just find a corner and feed him rather than try to calm him down. And let me tell you, people are not that comfortable with breast-feeding in public. And it’s not like I just whip out my boob or anything.” Emily shook her head. “Annie was so much easier than Ethan for some reason. Anyway, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“I’m okay, thank you,” Macie told her. And surprisingly, she was. The fact that Emily wasn’t upset over what happened with her body went a long way toward soothing Macie’s own apprehension about it. It was a natural thing. It happened. “Thank you for coming over today. I had a good time.”
“You sound surprised,” Emily observed.
Macie shrugged. “I’ve had a hard time making friends.”
“I don’t know why. You’re funny. You’re kind. And you aren’t afraid to stick up for your man…which in our circle goes a really long way.”
Annie chose that moment to honk the horn a few times.
Emily laughed. “That’s my cue. Thanks for having us.” Then she leaned over and gave Macie a quick hug, careful not to crush their chests together. “We need to do it again soon. I’ll be in touch. Bye!”
Macie didn’t have a chance to get a word in before Emily was halfway down the sidewalk and yelling at Annie to hush and to get in the backseat.
Two words stuck out from everything Emily had said. “Your man.”
Macie wanted to admit that Colt wasn’t her man. That she was only staying with him until he thought it was safe for her to go back to her apartment in Lampasas. That he was simply looking after one of his soldiers’ sisters.
She was afraid to think anything else. Especially since she’d left her number for him after the wedding and he hadn’t bothered to call.
She waved at Annie as Emily pulled away and went back into the house and shut the door behind her, making sure to lock it. She turned to go back into the other room and screeched in surprise when she almost ran into Colt.
“Everything good?” he asked.
Macie nodded.
“No, Macie,” he said as he put a hand on the side of her neck and leaned in. “Are you good?”
She coul
dn’t help the small smile that broke out. “I’m good,” she told him. “Really. I liked them. Annie is hysterical, and I loved getting to know Emily and Casey more.”
“And Mary? Did she behave?”
Macie must’ve hesitated a moment too long, because Colt sighed and pulled back. He reached for her hand and pulled her into the living room. He sat on the couch and tugged Macie down onto his lap. He put his arms around her waist and held her firmly.
Macie stared at him in shock. They’d slept curled up next to each other every night, and Colt never hesitated to touch her, to caress her cheek or run a hand over her hair. But he’d never simply hauled her around before—at least, not since the night of the break-in—and she hadn’t sat on anyone’s lap since she was five years old.
Not sure where to put her hands, she rested them in her lap awkwardly.
“What’d she say?” Colt asked.
“Nothing.”
“Mace,” he said more gently. “I can tell she said something. I mean, it’s Mary, she can’t help herself, it’s part of her charm.” He smiled. “Now tell me, so I can reassure you about whatever it was, and then I’ll go get us some dinner. I’m hungry.”
It was the last bit that made Macie change her mind about telling him. She had a feeling he would sit there all night if she didn’t spill. He was that stubborn. But his stubbornness was one of the many reasons she was crazy about him.
Pushing those feelings to the back of her mind, refusing to think about them right now, she said, “I’m sure she was exaggerating, or that she simply doesn’t know the truth.”
“About what?”
Taking a deep breath, Macie said, “She was just trying to make sure I knew what this was. What was happening here. And she told me about you killing a bunch of people when your friend was captured.”