She Took My Heart and Went Crazy 4

by A'zayler

  Logan’s hands touched his face. “Yeshi, you shouldn’t have to make yourself fall in love with a person. It should happen naturally.”

  “Nah, I’m too fucked up for natural shit. The one thing that should have come natural didn’t. So, I don’t trust anything that I don’t make happen myself.”

  The relationship Yeshi had with his mother had ruined it for women. So, telling Logan that he would have to make himself fall in love with her was the purest truth he’d ever told. She may not have any serious insight on his demons, but the fact that she desired him despite them warranted her a chance at his heart.

  “You need to find God, Yeshi. If you don’t, you’ll feel this way forever.” Logan watched him sympathetically. “You don’t make anything happen, he does.”

  Logan pushed away from him a little, and Yeshi instinctively snatched her back but relaxed once he realized he’d reacted too roughly.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay.” She sat up and rubbed her hands over both of his shoulders. “Yeshi…” She sighed, and it made his chest tighten.

  The way she called his name sounded like she was preparing to say something he didn’t want to hear. He watched her with nervous eyes as he began to feel uncertain of himself.

  “I can’t keep jeopardizing who I am for you.” Water appeared in her eyes. “Every time I make love to you, I feel so horrible afterward, like I disappointed God, and I don’t like feeling this way.” She sniffed. “Nor do I like feeling bad about having sex with you. It should be beautiful. Us, we should be beautiful, but I just can’t shake who I am long enough to enjoy it.”

  In a way, he didn’t understand, but in another, he did. “I know, but I need you.”

  His words were low and just as desperate as he felt on the inside.

  “No, you don’t. You just think you do.”

  Yeshi scooted closer and grabbed both of her hands. “No, you don’t understand, but I do.” He looked into her eyes to make sure she understood he wasn’t just telling her he needed her because it sounded good. He really did need her.

  “We can’t keep doing this.” She pecked his lips before leaning her forehead against his mouth. “I’ll be with you, but it has to be without the sex.”

  “Will that make you stay with me while I heal?”

  “Yes, I’ll be here.”

  “Okay, fine. No sex. I’ll do it,” Yeshi said with finality.

  Even though he didn’t even understand why he’d just agreed to that or how he was going to manage, he did it anyway. As long as she stayed around him, then surely, he would make it through a few weeks of blue balls. He’d done it before, and maybe that would give him time to ready himself to make good on asking her to marry him. He’d asked and thrown his proposal to the side as if it had never happened, but he’d do his best to make it happen.

  “Why did you bring me in the hallway?” she questioned innocently.

  Yeshi immediately felt like a robber. He’d taken advantage of her yet again. “I didn’t want you to see your bible and change your mind.”

  Logan was quiet for a minute as Yeshi lowered his head, afraid to make eye contact and see what she thought of his manipulation. When he finally built up the courage to look at her, she was smiling.

  “You should be ashamed of yourself.” She giggled, and he smiled. “I don’t know what I’m going to do with you.”

  “I can think of a few things.” Yeshi pecked from her neck up to her mouth.

  “What did I just tell you?” She pushed him away with a smile.

  “Sorry.” He ran a hand over his face. “This no sex thing is about to drive me crazy. Every time I look at you, my dick gets hard. I might have to move out.”

  Logan’s face rejected that suggestion immediately. “Try again.”

  His laughter sounded down the hallway as he picked her up and carried her back to her room. “What you expect me to do?”

  “Learn some self-control. It’ll be good for you.”

  “I guess.” He kissed the center of her neck. “You gon’ be pregnant in a minute if we keep this shit up. I been busting you down raw every time.”

  “I know.” She looked a little dejected. “And, I’m not on any type of birth control.”

  “Don’t be sad. I’m your husband. We’re supposed to be fruitful and multiply, right?”

  Her bright smile evoked one from him. “You sure do know a lot about the bible for someone who claims not to want God.”

  Yeshi flashed all his teeth at her. “I’ll do whatever I have to do to get you.” He looked from her to the bag of jewelry. “Including dropping multiple bands in one store. Get down and put this shit on.”

  Yeshi lowered Logan to her feet and placed the bracelet and necklace on her. His eyes twinkled at her naked body in nothing but the sparkling diamonds.

  “You’re an angel for real, and that’s the only way to understand why everything about you, on you, near you, be glowing.” He licked his lips. “You literally make everything better.”

  Logan’s smile could light up his life for the rest of his dark days. It was that perfect and that necessary in his life. Infatuated out the world with her, he stood back and watched her. She wasn’t doing anything more than gathering their clothing and preparing for a shower, but it was like she was walking on clouds. At one point, he didn’t know if it was the sunlight or his eyes playing tricks on him, but he was sure he’d seen a halo shining around her head. With a palm to his face, Yeshi laughed. He had it bad.

  8. She Held Me Down When No One Else Did

  The constant babbling coming from beneath the coffee table was the cutest thing East had ever heard. Even with not being able to see Cali, she could hear her. The long sheet thrown across the top of it hung to the floor, hiding the baby from everyone in the living room.

  Thanks to Killian, Cali had formed a new love for hiding. All day long, she ran around their house getting lost and waiting for Killian to find her. Hence the reason she was seated beneath the coffee table squealing with laughter as Killian crawled around on all fours and playfully attacking her every time she ran from one end to the other.

  “That baby is not going to want to go back to Jesse’s lame ass,” Jerian said. “Killian has her so spoiled that I don’t see how she’s going to be out of his sight for longer than ten minutes.”

  “Who you telling? I’ve been dreading the same thing for weeks now. They love each other.” East smiled at Killian tickling Cali through the sheet.

  “There ain’t no way Jesse makes her that happy. Look at her li’l ass over there making all that noise.”

  East snickered. “Ain’t it. About to knock the whole sheet down.”

  The women were seated in the living room of East and Killian’s house and watching him play with Cali in the dining room. Because of their open floor plan, she was able to see them from the comfort of her recliner.

  “Has he said anything about sending her back?” Jerian asked East.

  “Yeah, he just keeps saying we should let his lawyer open a custody case. I’m just nervous about it. I mean, I did leave the baby on Jesse without looking back. How do you think that’ll make me look?”

  “Like somebody who was suffering from postpartum depression too badly to care for her child and loved her enough to stay away, so she wouldn’t hurt her.” Jerian grabbed East’s hand. “You don’t have to feel bad about taking care of yourself, East. People can judge all they want, but there was no way you could give that baby what she needed back then. Hell, you could barely give yourself what you needed.”

  “I know, but everybody isn’t going to understand that.”

  “Fuck anybody that doesn’t.”

  East couldn’t do anything but laugh at Jerian. They were so much alike. It was crazy how different Sasha was than the two of them.

  “I know Jesse’s crybaby ass has said something.” East rolled her eyes. “What he say? He keeps calling me and criticizing everything I do. I don’t even answer the phone for
his ass anymore.”

  Jerian waved East off. “A bunch of hoe shit that’ll make me hit him in the mouth if he doesn’t watch it.”

  “You ain’t gon’ do shit.” Killian walked in with Cali hanging upside down in his arms.

  “Kill, don’t hold her like that,” East yelped.

  “Girl, shut your ass up. She likes this.” He tickled her stomach as she clapped her hands with a smile on her face. “Look at her, clapping and shit.”

  All three adults laughed as they swooned over the baby’s happiness.

  “What nigga you in here talking about beating on?” Killian flopped down in the recliner with East.

  She shifted her body some so that he could comfortably sit next to her. Once he was situated, she took Cali from him and began kissing all over her face. It had been extremely tough at first, but with Killian’s help, she’d actually learned how to care for Cali the right way. She’d even gotten so good that Cali loved her back. When she’d first gotten there, she wouldn’t give East the time of day, but now she’d love on her the same way she did Killian. Unless she wanted Killian. Nobody could calm her down when he came around.

  “I was talking about Jesse.”

  Killian’s face showed his disdain. “Bitch ass.”

  “Right,” Jerian agreed.

  “I don’t even want to hear about him.” Killian took the remote Cali was swinging in his face. “He calls your sister’s phone acting like a hoe one more time, and I’ma personally drive to North Carolina and beat his ass.”

  “Somebody needs to do it. He’s so annoying. I don’t know how my parents deal with him.”

  East listened to her husband and sister express their dislike for the father of her child and smiled. They hated him, and it was all on her account. If that wasn’t love, she didn’t know what was.

  “I’ma see about him.” Killian stood from the sofa. “But, aye, bae, I’m about to head to the mall with Yeshi then hit the gym for a minute afterward.”

  “He coming over here?” Jerian’s voice perked up at the mention of Yeshi.

  “Hold your fucking panties, hoe. That boy is off limits, with your tacky ass,” East scolded her.

  With a roll of her eyes, Jerian dismissed East and focused on Killian. “He’s coming here?”

  “Yeah, but I’m with East on this one. Hold ya panties. That man is trying to do right, and you ain’t gon’ do shit but make it hard for him.”

  “I can’t make it hard unless he lets me.” Jerian wore a taunting smile. “That’s on him, and don’t worry about my damn panties.” Jerian tossed the small pillow at Killian.

  Killian paused and just looked at her, not saying anything. East couldn’t read his facial expression but knew her husband well enough to know that as bad he wanted to hold it in, he wasn’t about to.

  “Nah, that’s on your grown ass too. You saw that nigga with his shorty in the club, and you just stepped your ass on out anyway. That was lame as fuck, Jerian.”

  “What’s your point? Her being there should have tamed her nigga, not me. She can’t do shit to me.” Jerian wore a nonchalant look. “She could have said something to me if she wanted to. She can’t beat my ass.”

  “Eww.” East shook her head. “Jerian, you’re too old for that shit.”

  “She must be y’all friend or something?” Jerian looked between Killian and East. “Because y’all down my throat like y’all Yeshi’s personal bodyguards or some shit. Fuck y’all too.”

  “Let me hurry up and get dressed, so I can go.” Killian walked off down the hallway, leaving East alone with her sister.

  East’s eyes were immediately on Jerian. She even pointed her finger at her. “You really need to chill, Jerian. Logan is a really sweet girl, and Yeshi is more trouble than he’s worth, so trust me when I tell you to just leave that nigga where he’s at.”

  “East, does it look like I care about her being sweet? I don’t know her. Furthermore, y’all acting like I’m trying to be in a relationship with the nigga. All I want to do is see what the dick hitting like then Logan can have him back.”

  “Bitch.” East shook her head.

  “What?” Jerian asked with much attitude. “Damn.”

  “All I’m saying is, she’s actually trying to have a relationship with him. Why would you just come and fuck shit up for them for no reason? Just to satisfy your own hoeish curiosity?”

  “Because.”

  The ringing doorbell interrupted Jerian. She and East locked eyes, and she smiled while East rolled her eyes and got up to grab the door.

  “Don’t open your hoe ass mouth to this man, Jerian. I’m not playing with you. I’ma knock your ugly ass out if you do.”

  Jerian smiled mischievously. “Square up then, hoe, because I’m about to step, and you already know that.”

  East huffed again, hating to even open the door for Yeshi. As he always did, he stood at the door looking as handsome as ever. Dressed casually in some joggers, a V-neck shirt, and sneakers, Yeshi pulled the screen door open and walked in.

  “What’s up, crazy ass?” He smiled when she stepped to the side to allow him room to move past her.

  “Chilling, where’s my girl?” East purposely brought Logan up before her sister could taint his brain.

  East hadn’t known Yeshi long, but it was obvious as hell that women were his weak point and being alone with her flirting ass sister was going to be hell for him.

  “Out getting her hair and nails and shit done.”

  East loved the smile on his face when he spoke about Logan. Maybe Logan was making progress with him. When he rounded the corner to their living room, a laughing Cali came running around the sofa with her arms in the air. Yeshi scooped her up and kissed all over her cheeks and head while walking toward the sofas.

  “Damn, I wish I was Cali.”

  East’s heart stopped when she heard Jerian getting started. Apparently, just noticing her, Yeshi looked around Cali’s head so could see her. Like the dog ass nigga he was, he smiled at her. East hurried to close the door and join the two before stuff went too far left to come back.

  “Girl, you couldn’t handle all this loving.”

  “Shid, who can’t?”

  “Just take my word for it, baby.”

  Jerian gushed. “Oh, so I’m your baby now? I think I’m in love.”

  As much as East hated it, her sister’s smile was gorgeous. Jerian was indeed a hard female to ignore. She was beautiful with a sexual confidence that was out of the world. It was all over her, and any man in her presence would definitely be able to feel it, while only the strongest ones could handle it. Yeshi was weak in a lot of areas, but women weren’t one, so he and Jerian could probably go all day.

  “Hell yeah, you my baby, with your sexy ass.”

  “No, muthafucka, Logan is your baby.” Killian had just walked into the living room. “Don’t even get comfortable. Let’s go.” He took Cali from him and handed her to East.

  Yeshi’s boisterous laughter commanded the living room.

  “Don’t listen to them, Yeshi. I’m not ready for you to go yet.” Jerian leaned over the back of the sofa and grabbed his hand in hers. “You need to stay here and let me look at you for a little bit longer.”

  East didn’t miss the twinkle in Yeshi’s eye as he stood there allowing Jerian to hold his hand. Anger took over her immediately. She would definitely be encouraging Logan to explore other options. The very next time she mentioned anything about another nigga, East was going to be more than happy to boost that shit up.

  “That’s all you want to do?” Yeshi took a step closer to Jerian and brought her hand to his lips. He kissed it while staring into her eyes. “You just want to look at me? Because your eyes are telling me something else.”

  Jerian was melting, and it was making East’s blood boil. “Y’all are two scandalous ass bitches.” She smacked her teeth before snatching their hands apart. “Yeshi, get your ass out, and Jerian, go take a cold shower, hoe.”

  Kil
lian was in stitches as he looked around the room at all of them. Yeshi joined him shortly after, as did Jerian. East was the last one to laugh.

  “I’m for real. Y’all making me mad. Quit this shit.”

  Yeshi held his hands up in mock surrender. “Aight, I’ll chill.”

  “Nah, you ain’t got to chill because the next time a man approaches Logan, I’ma personally make sure she has this same cheating ass energy that you have right now.” East went to walk past Yeshi, but he grabbed her arm to stop her.

  “You’ll do me like that?’

  “Fuck yeah, she’ll do it.” Killian grabbed East’s arm out of Yeshi’s grasp. “You can go ahead and let my woman go.” He smirked. “You don’t have the same effect on her as you have on the rest of the hoes.”

  They all laughed together before Yeshi and Killian headed for the door. East was holding Cali on her hip as she watched them. Her eyes had left Yeshi and were now trained on Killian. She bit her bottom lip as her eyes trekked over his long body, stopping at the tattoos on his neck. They stayed there for only a minute before enjoying the way the black fitted cap rested on his head.

  “Why you looking at me like that?” Killian’s question brought her out of her lustful trance.

  East touched her growing baby bump and smiled in embarrassment. “Because I was thinking about letting you get me pregnant again until I realized I haven’t even recovered from the last time I let you do that.”

  The way Killian blushed made her heart melt. “Here you go.” He ran his hand over his face.

  “You ain’t lying. She stays watching you. Hot pussy bitch,” Jerian said, making her and East both laugh.

  “You so muthafucking sexy, Kill.” East moaned heavily. “You just don’t know.”

  When Killian’s light pink tongue rolled out over his bottom lip before grabbing it between those pearly white teeth, East couldn’t hold it anymore. As if being a hoe anyway didn’t weigh her down, being pregnant kicked her sex drive up even more. Once she’d placed Cali on the floor near her leg, she walked straight to him and wrapped her arms around his neck.