Desperate Times

by Nicholas Antinozzi

  “Somebody is in here!” shouted a familiar voice from behind the wooden door. It was Bill.

  “Hurry up, man,” said Jimmy. “I’ve got to get in there.”

  “Is that you, Jimmy? Okay, just give me a minute.”

  Jimmy moved back from the door, shifting his feet from one foot to the other. He could hear activity coming from all sides of the walls. From somewhere, Jimmy could smell charcoal smoldering in a grill. His stomach growled. He looked to the door of the outhouse and wished Bill would hurry up. “Come on,” he hissed at the door. “I’m going to bust out here.”

  “Just a minute,” said Bill. “I’m almost done.”

  From directly behind, Jimmy heard the unmistakable slap of the screen door. He groaned and turned his head. There was Paula, and she was marching straight for him. Oh, God, thought Jimmy. He tried to muster a smile. Paula’s face was set into a deep frown, her eyes were furrowed and her arms were swinging at her sides as if she were about to hit him. She walked directly up to him, stopping a foot from his face.

  “I’ve never been so embarrassed in all of my life, Jimmy Logan. Never! What? Was it something I said? Are you ashamed of me? Is that it, Jimmy? Aren’t I good enough for you anymore? Go ahead and spit it out. I can take it!”

  “Listen, Paula. I’ve really got to use the bathroom.”

  Paula’s eyes glowed red. “Again?” she shouted. “I’ve heard that before, you son of a bitch! How could you do that to me? How?” Paula suddenly began to weep and quickly turned and sprinted back to the house, the screen door slapping shut behind her.

  The outhouse door opened and Bill emerged. “That didn’t sound good,” he said. “She was really mad this morning. You should’ve seen her. She was going crazy. I’ve never seen her like that before, Jimmy. She was totally whacked out.”

  “Can I just get in there?” Jimmy asked. “I really gotta go.”

  “You might want to wait a few minutes,” said Bill, walking in the direction of the house. “My stomach has been giving me trouble. I’m serious. I think it’s all the stress.”

  Jimmy groaned. What did Bill know about stress? Bill should try standing in his shoes for a minute. Jimmy eyed the door. He couldn’t wait a second longer. He bravely opened the door and went inside.

  A few minutes later he cautiously returned to his tent. He unzipped the door and gasped. It looked as if a tornado had swept inside. He sifted through his belongings and managed to find his shaving kit, a towel, and a clean change of clothes. He laid them out on top of a pile of his jumbled things. He then stripped down and slipped into his swimming trunks. He hung the towel around his neck, picked up his shaving kit, stepped into his tennis shoes, and made his way down to the lake.

  The gate was open, and he jogged down to the water. The temperature was somewhere in the eighties, and the sky was a perfect shade of blue. Children splashed in the lake with their mothers watching them from the shoreline. Jimmy removed his bar of soap and his bottle of shampoo and waded out into the water. The water near the shoreline was warm, but grew cooler the further out he ventured. He didn’t care; it felt wonderful. When he’d reached his waist he ducked completely under. Standing next to the dock, he soaped himself and washed his hair. He noticed that the women seemed more interested in him than they were in watching their own children. He wondered what they were thinking and decided that he really didn’t want to know. He took a quick swim to rinse off and returned to the shoreline where he toweled himself dry. He shaved, looking into the little mirror from his kit. He flossed and brushed his teeth, using the water from the big red jug that had been filled with fresh water from the house. He then jogged back to his tent and quickly changed. He felt like a new man.

  He then went to see Julie. He walked along the side of the house, ducking under windows as he went. Thankfully, he found the deck deserted, and he climbed the stairs and quietly entered the front porch.

  “Hey, Jimmy,” said Julie, in a voice that seemed a little stronger. “You should still be sleeping.”

  “It was too hot. We baked in there,” Jimmy said, taking the chair next to her. She definitely looked better, and her eyes were clear and bright. She’d even managed to brush the ends of her hair and was now dressed in a clean pair of shorts and a T-shirt. She was lying on her back, looking bored and listless.

  “I heard you slept in Jon’s tent? What’s up with that?”

  “Who told you that?” Jimmy asked, remembering how he and Jon had laughed about that earlier.

  “Oh, you know. Word travels fast around here. I heard that somebody wasn’t too happy about it, either. I can’t blame her. I’d have gone nuts.”

  “Have you talked to her? Was she in here this morning?”

  “No. She hasn’t said a word to me since she arrived. I did see her, though. She’s beautiful. You sure know how to pick ‘em.”

  Jimmy didn’t know how to respond to that. He thought about it and decided to try. “Listen, Julie. You need to understand something here. Paula and I were together for a long time.”

  “I get it, Jimmy. You don’t have to spell it out for me.”

  “Stop interrupting me. I’m not finished.”

  “Okay. I’m sorry.”

  “Thank you. What I’m trying to say here is that I’m not sure what to do. I’m really torn up about this, about everything. A few weeks ago Paula and I were living together as a couple. We had some problems, and she was talking about going back home to live with her parents. They had a lot of money. We’re talking old money, the kind that comes with full-time servants and three-month holidays in France. They didn’t want her to be with me. They even cut her off of her allowance. They just wanted better for her, somebody from their own class of people. She stuck with me for a long time, but they continued to bribe her to come back to them. Well, when things got bad, she decided to go back to them. That hurt me. She knew that I was coming up here.”

  “And here she is,” said Julie, ruefully, “ready to forgive and forget. How nice.”

  “Julie, don’t. Please? This is hard enough to say to you.”

  “Well, its true, isn’t it?”

  “I suppose it is. The truth is, though, I really don’t know how I feel. I was totally in love with her. We’d talked about marriage, kids, everything. We lived together, and she went from living in a mansion to living with me in a trailer house. That meant something. We got along great for a while, and she got used to living like the rest of us. That was hard for her.”

  “Poor baby.”

  “Hey.”

  “Sorry,” said Julie, rolling her eyes.

  “Toward the end, things started to get bad. Her folks were calling her all the time, asking her to come home. She was all they had, and they hated that their daughter was living in a trailer court. It was too much for them to handle.”

  “So why didn’t they just accept you into the family? If they were so well off, they could’ve taken you in. You could’ve lived the high life, gone to balls and all that other stuff that rich people do. Maybe that’s part of what attracted you to her in the first place?”

  “No, it wasn’t. That wasn’t it at all. That’s what her parents thought, though. That’s why they cut her off. No, making me a part of their family was never an option for them. They never stopped over for a visit, not even once. We went there, of course. I knew that they didn’t like me, but Paula forced me to come along. I hated it over there. They have no idea what the real world is like—none. Her parents both came from big money; they even met at Harvard. Stanley hasn’t worked a day in his life. Not one single day. His idea of work is spending a few hours in the garden. I’m serious. I don’t know why I’m telling you all of this. I just thought you should know.”

  “I don’t know, either,” said Julie, without any expression on her face. “Her parents sound like quite the couple though; I don’t like them already.”

  “For a long time, I didn’t either. But I guess as time passed I began to see their point. What did I
have to offer their daughter, a double wide? Then the economy started to go south and everyone’s hours at the plant were cut. Things were really tough toward the end. I couldn’t pay the bills, and they were threatening to shut off our electric, our phones, and I was two months behind on the lot rent. Paula even asked her parents for a loan, which was something she’d never done. They turned her down. They told her to come home. She chose to stay with me.”

  “Until she left you. Let’s not forget that.”

  “I know. Trust me, I haven’t forgotten that. I just don’t know what to do. Everything is so different now. It seems like years have passed since we got up here. Do you know what I mean?”

  “I do,” Julie said. “Now I want you to stop. I think I’ve heard enough.”

  “No, you haven’t. Not yet. I’ve got to say this to you, Julie…”

  There was a short knock on the French doors, and Patty walked inside, followed by Dr. Benson. He looked exhausted; his eyes were red and his face was drawn and pale. There were blood spatters on the sleeves of his lab coat, and he rubbed his eyes.

  “I’m sorry. We seem to be running out of room here,” said Patty. I hope you don’t mind, dear. Ted is dead on his feet. I told him he could catch some sleep on the other couch in here. Is that all right with you?”

  “Sure,” said Julie. “Of course it is.”

  “I promise not to bite,” said Dr. Benson, with a tired smile. “I’m just wiped out. I hope we’re not interrupting anything? I could come back later…”

  “No,” said Julie, “Jimmy was just leaving. I’m pretty tired myself. I might nod off for a while.”

  “How are you feeling, dear? Would you like something to eat?” asked Patty.

  “Better. I might try to eat something later, thank you,” said Julie with a smile.

  “You just let me know. I’ll fix you anything you want. Well, from what we have,” Patty corrected herself. “I’m sure I can come up with something. You really should eat, though. You’re so thin.”

  “Right,” said Julie. “It seems like I’ve gained ten pounds since I got here.”

  Patty chuckled. “You young girls, you’re all alike. Wait until you get to be my age. You quit worrying about things like that.”

  “We’re not all alike,” Julie said, her eyes looking directly into Jimmy’s. “Anyhow, I think I’m going to go to sleep, now. Thanks, Patty.”

  “You’re welcome, honey. You let me know when you’re hungry. I’ll make sure that no one comes in and bothers you.”

  “Wake me up if anything changes, all right? If you feel dizzy or sick to your stomach, I’ll be right here,” Dr. Benson said, sitting down on the other couch and taking off his shoes. “Oh, that feels good.”

  “Follow me, Jimmy,” said Patty. “You’ve got to be hungry. I’ve got your lunch waiting for you at the table. Jon’s already eaten. Ken wants to see the both of you when you’ve finished.”

  “Thanks, Patty. That sounds great,” said Jimmy. He then turned to Julie and winked. “I’ll talk to you later.”

  “Whatever; you know where to find me.”

  Patty stood waiting at the door. Jimmy walked out through the living room, around the corner and into the kitchen. He wished he’d had just another minute to tell Julie how he really felt. He’d been on a roll until he’d been interrupted. Why did things like that always happen to him? He didn’t know, but it just didn’t seem fair. He entered the kitchen and paused. On the table was a plate stacked high with pancakes. Crisp bacon and sausage links were heaped into a glass bowl, and a tall glass of orange juice sat next to the plate. Jimmy sat down, his mouth watering.

  “Enjoy it while you can,” said Patty, pouring coffee into his special cup. She carefully set it down on the table next to the chipped sugar bowl. “That’s about it from what we had left in the freezer.”

  “Thanks,” said Jimmy, picking up his fork and starting in on his pancakes.

  “No, Jimmy, thank you for bringing back Ted Benson. Ken is so happy to have him here. They go back a long way. We all do.”

  Jimmy nodded. Dr. Benson had told him as much. The breakfast tasted wonderful, and he ate it with relish. Patty went about cleaning the kitchen which already looked spotless to Jimmy. He continued to eat, finishing his pancakes and a great deal of the bacon and sausage. Satisfied, he sat back from the table and began to sip his coffee.

  “Thanks, Patty. That was delicious.”

  “I’m glad you enjoyed it,” she said, clearing the table and depositing Jimmy’s dishes into the sink. She washed them quickly, towel drying them before putting them away. When she’d finished she poured herself a cup of coffee and refilled Jimmy’s. She then sat down across from Jimmy, holding her cup with both hands. “I need to talk to you,” she said in a serious tone.

  Once again, Jimmy felt his heart fall. He was sure of what was coming next, and he was growing tired of people telling him what to do about Paula and Julie. He sipped his coffee. “What’s on your mind?” he asked, certain that he already knew the answer. He soon found that he couldn’t be further from the truth.

  “Sister Margaret,” she said flatly.

  Jimmy set his cup down. He hadn’t expected this. “What do you mean? Is there some sort of trouble?”

  “She’s trouble. I don’t like the woman. Haven’t you wondered where everyone is? They’re all gathered out on Sally’s ball field where she’s conducting some sort of church service. She got everyone to go over there after breakfast by telling them that it was for a quick prayer and to thank God for delivering them all here. That was three hours ago.”

  “She’s a minister, or a pastor, or something, isn’t she?” asked Jimmy. Maybe she’s just a little long winded. Could be that she’s trying to make up for lost time.”

  “She’s doing more than that. She runs around here like she owns the place. She took over the back bedroom upstairs. She’s only been here a few hours, Jimmy. That takes some brass.”

  “Wow,” said Jimmy. “It sounds like she thinks that she’s above everyone else. We’ll have to put a stop to that.”

  “That’s the least of it,” said Patty. “She’s trying to drive a wedge between all of us. She wants to take control. I can feel it. Trust me, I’m a woman and I know these things.”

  Jimmy nodded. “She sounds crazy.”

  “Crazy like a fox. She’s making her rounds, and people are listening to her. She’s telling everyone that this is the end of days, that it’s all going to be over anytime now. She’s reading scripture from the Book of Revelation to anyone who will listen. She’s a sly one, all right. Some of my closest friends have already sided with her. They won’t even look at us.”

  “What?” asked Jimmy, slapping his hand on the table. “She hasn’t been here that long. How could she get them to choose sides so quickly?”

  “She’s very good at what she does. She knows how to put the fear of God into people. I’ve heard of her church. The Little Chapel in the Woods is run by a pretty radical bunch of Christian fundamentalists. They’re different than we are, a lot different.”

  “Great,” said Jimmy. “And Jon and I sent them here. I’m sorry, Patty.”

  “How could you have known? Don’t worry about that. Just watch yourself. I was listening at the wall earlier. She’s calling us murderers. Can you believe it?”

  “You can’t be serious?” asked Jimmy, feeling as if he’d just been stung by a large bee.

  “I’m afraid I am,” said Patty, her hands shaking around her cup. “She’s telling people that if we had offered to share what we had that nobody would’ve been killed. She’s blaming us, all of us—you, Jon, Julie, Ken and me, even Rita and little Cindy Huggins. She’s telling people that their blood is on our hands. It’s like a nightmare, Jimmy. She wants to run us out of here. She wants to take over and turn this into her new church.”

  “That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard,” said Jimmy, scratching his head. He then laughed a mirthless laugh that echoed inside th
e kitchen. “Maybe it’s time that we asked her to leave? I’ll gladly go over there and tell her to load up her congregation on her broomstick.”

  “I only wish that were possible. She already has too big a following. I’m afraid that we’d be the ones hitting the road.”

  “But this is your place. You invited these people to come inside. How could they possibly ask you to leave?”

  Patty sipped her coffee. “This is a different world, Jimmy. Who owns anything anymore? Look next door. We didn’t buy Sally’s property; we simply took it over. That’s what she wants to do here. She has nearly everyone believing that we’re the problem here, that we’re going against the Lord’s will and that we’ll be punished for it.”

  “Punished for what?”

  “I don’t know. I should’ve walked over there to listen. I could’ve heard more of the nonsense that she’s trying to spread about us. I just couldn’t do it. I can’t stand the sight of her.”

  Jimmy gritted his teeth. He had no idea that anything like this was going on. How could their people have been sucked into her congregation so quickly? Many of them had known the Dahlgrens for most of their lives. How could they simply abandon them and follow her? This boggled his mind. Then he realized how she’d done it. People were scared. They were looking for something bigger than all of them to hang on to. Sister Margaret was pulling those strings of fear and manipulating them to further her own cause. This was nothing new. The current situation had merely made it simple for her to draw them into her web. Still, she’d done it all while he’d slept. That thought sent a chill down his spine.

  “So I’m sorry to ruin your day. I just thought you should know.”

  “What do you want me to do? Just name it, Patty. I’ll take her on myself.”

  “That’s exactly what she wants us to do,” she said, standing up and walking slowly to the sink where she dropped her empty cup into the soapy water. “She’s going to try and provoke us. We can’t let that happen. We’ve got to find another way. Maybe people will grow tired of her stories of fire and brimstone, and they’ll come around on their own.”