The Evolution of Us

by D. Kelly

  “True. Now, are you really not going to spill any more details from last night? Aside from the fact he’s at least a nine on the dickter scale.” She blows her bangs out of her face with a massive huff and then turns her puppy dog eyes on me.

  “Nope, no details. This wasn’t just some guy, Sage. It’s Declan. If we ever break up, I’ll share my next sexcapade with you, I promise.”

  “Fine, I guess I understand. It’s a love thing. Speaking of, where are the chocolate chip cookies I smelled when I came in? It’s sweet you’re walking around like you still have a massive cock in your vag, but you took time out of your day to make Declan’s favorite cookies.”

  She ducks when I throw a pillow at her head. “You are so crass. Just for that I shouldn’t tell you the cookies are in the pantry. But since there’s a whole container with your name on it, it would be mean to keep them from you.”

  She jumps up and runs to the kitchen and back in a flash.

  “You’re the best! What time are Declan and Baxter coming over?”

  “Soon …” She looks at me expectantly until I blurt out what’s on my mind. “Sage, I’m really not walking funny, am I?”

  She holds her fingers up a half inch. “A little. If your dad asks, tell him you slipped and fell, but I’m sure you’ll be fine by tomorrow. Are you guys going to go at it again tonight?”

  My horrified look is answer enough.

  “You’ll feel better in no time, and it won’t hurt as much next time. With a guy as big as Dec, though, it may take a few times before it’s actually pleasureful.”

  “It’s already pleasureful, he takes care of me.”

  She rolls her eyes. “You two are way too lovey-dovey for me. Mark my words, it’s a whole different sensation when you come with his cock inside of you.”

  “Now this sounds like a conversation right up my alley.” Baxter’s smirking as he walks into my room. “Coming is always better with a cock inside of you,” he says, and Sage high-fives him. “So … Declan finally popped your cherry last night.”

  “Actually, Bax, she popped mine.” Declan’s wearing a shit-eating grin as he walks toward me with a vase full of sunflowers.

  “Aww, I need a boyfriend like Dec. No one ever brings me flowers,” Baxter says with a pout.

  “Me, either,” Sage echoes.

  Declan places the flowers on my desk before squeezing between Baxter and me. “Why don’t you two go pick a movie and order the pizza? We’ll meet you out there in a bit.”

  “We’d rather watch the two of you,” Sage replies, fluttering her eyes.

  “Come on, Sage, give the lovebirds some space and take advantage of being able to pick the movie for once.”

  “Fine, but you’re paying for the pizza, Declan,” she calls out as Bax pushes her out of the room and closes the door behind them.

  “How are you feeling today?” Dec asks as he lies down next to me and pulls me close.

  “I’m fine. A little sore, but I’m sure it’s normal. I made you cookies.”

  His smile could light up the darkest heart. “You didn’t have to do that, but thank you.”

  He brushes his lips against mine and I kiss him back eagerly. “I wanted to,” I reply breathlessly as we break apart.

  “No regrets about last night?”

  “What? No! Do you have regrets?”

  “Never. It was the best night of my life to date.” He laces his fingers through mine and brings my hand to his lips.

  “To date, huh?”

  “Well, yeah,” he answers while tracing his fingers across the contours of my face. “We still have prom and graduation, college, our wedding, some kids, lots of other great nights will be coming our way, love.”

  I snuggle closer and kiss him sweetly. “You always know just the right things to say.”

  “How many kids do you want?”

  Just as I’m about to answer, the doorbell starts ringing incessantly. “Holly, you need to get out here!” Sage calls frantically.

  Declan helps me up and we rush to see what all the commotion is about. Baxter is peeking out the peephole and Sage’s expression is worrisome. “I think it’s your mom, Holls. I haven’t seen her since we were little, but I’m pretty sure that’s her.”

  My chest tightens. My dad would probably call the cops if he were here, but he’s not. There’s no way I can let my mom know he’s out of town.

  “What do you want to do?” Declan asks cautiously.

  “There’s only one thing to do,” I reply as I open the door. “Can I help you?”

  She looks up at me with a smile, and my anger at her takes over. “Holly? It’s me.”

  “I’m sorry, do I know you?”

  “Shit, that’s cold,” Baxter whispers in the background.

  Her eyes meet mine and she smirks. “I suppose I deserve that. Are you going to invite me in?”

  “Are you insane? You may have given birth to me, but I haven’t seen you in thirteen years. You’re not coming into my house. What do you want?”

  Declan rests his hand against my lower back; the gesture means more to me than he could ever know.

  “You’re eighteen now, Holly, and I want a relationship with my daughter. The court ruled in your father’s favor, but you get to make the decisions now that you’re of age. I’m clean, baby. I have been for the last eight years.”

  Eight years?

  “Eight years and all of a sudden you want to get to know me?” I’m yelling now. Dec wraps his arm around me and squeezes me tight.

  “Holly, please. Let me explain.”

  “Why should I?” As I throw my hands in the air, a man steps out of a car at the curb, holding a little girl. My stomach rolls like an ocean during a storm. I’m going to be sick. “Who is that?” I’m seething and praying I can keep my nausea at bay. We step out onto the porch and she steps off the porch, back onto the sidewalk.

  “Sweetie, this was a bad idea. We should go.” His sympathetic voice is soothing. Mentally, I’m thanking him for trying to be the voice of reason. They should go, but the little girl propped on his shoulder is staring at me. She’s maybe four or five; she’s a cute little thing, but when my eyes meet hers, my heart races. Her big green eyes are looking right into my soul. It’s like looking in a mirror. This little girl is my sister.

  Suddenly, I’m gasping for air and clutching my chest. I can’t breathe.

  “Sage, go get my mom!” Declan yells while helping me sit down on the steps.

  My eyes flutter closed as my breaths become shallower. When I look up, Declan is talking to me, but my ears are ringing so loud I can’t hear a word he’s saying. The man has his arm around my mom, and the little girl is still staring at me.

  Soon, Declan is gone and Sally is crouched down in front of me. Someone presses a cold cloth against the back of my neck as Sally begins to speak. “Put your head between your legs, Holly.”

  I follow her instructions, hoping I’ll be able to pull more air into my lungs. “Deep breath in, Holly, and then exhale.” Her words are making their way through, and I follow what she’s saying. “Focus on your foot, Holly, count your toes. One, two, three, four, five. Say it with me, Holly,” she repeats again. “Come on, sweetie, count with me.”

  “One, two, three, four, five,” I count.

  “Good job, Holly, again,” she says, relief flooding her voice. After a few minutes, I’m breathing almost normally, and I look up at Sally. “Hey, sweetie, you doing okay now?”

  “I think so,” I whisper, and she smiles.

  “It was just a panic attack. I know they can be scary, but you’re going to be okay. I’m going to call Sean now and let him know what is going on.”

  “Wait, Sally, please don’t. Not yet. Can you stay for a little bit?”

  She looks over my shoulder at Declan and nods. “Whatever you need, Holly.”

  When Sally stands and moves to the side, my mom steps forward. “I’m sorry, Holly. I didn’t mean to upset you. I thought you’d be happy
to see me and to meet your sister.”

  “How old is she?”

  “She’s four, actually, five next month. Her name is Heather, and this is my husband Ken.”

  Ken steps forward still holding my sister. She looks down at me, and I can’t help but smile at her. “Are you okay now?” she asks timidly.

  “I’m fine. My name is Holly.”

  She smiles and tries to scoot out of her dad’s arms. When he sets her on the ground, she steps closer to me. “Mommy and Daddy said you’re my big sister.”

  “Yeah, I guess I am.”

  “Why don’t we all go in the house and get something to drink. I can put some snacks together at home and bring them over,” Sally offers.

  “Actually, Holly made a ton of chocolate chip cookies. As long as Declan will share, you can just stay here with us, Sally.” Baxter’s suggestion is perfect. I’m sure Heather loves cookies, and I need all the support I can get right now.

  “I’m happy to share my cookies with Holly’s little sister. Come on in, Heather. Why don’t I show you where I keep my secret stash?” She giggles and follows Declan and the rest of the group into the house. It’s just me, my mom, and Ken out here now.

  “Holly, I’m so sorry,” she says again.

  “For her. I’m only doing this right now for her, not you.”

  “I can handle that. I want the two of you to have a relationship, even if we never can.”

  “Good. At least we can agree on something.”

  When my mom and her family left, so did Baxter and Sage. Our day was ruined, and I’m not very good company at this point.

  “Holly, are you sure I can’t call your dad? He’s going to be upset with me.”

  “I don’t want you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable, but he lied to me for years, Sally. How could he not tell me I had a sister? That my mom was sober and remarried?”

  The indecisiveness on her face is apparent. “I don’t know, sweetie, I really don’t. Declan, stay with Holly tonight. I have to go to work and I don’t want her in the house alone. Holly, I’m not going to call your dad because I think you need time to figure out how to handle this with him and to let your anger settle down. Ultimately, you’re of age even if you are still in high school, so I’m going to defer to your request. Call me if you guys need me.”

  Sally kisses us each on the cheek before she leaves. As soon as she’s gone, Declan pulls me into a hug.

  “Spill.”

  “I’m so angry and so fucking hurt. I don’t want to have a relationship with her, but I have a sister! God, Dec, how could my dad keep that from me?”

  Declan gently wipes away the tears streaming down my cheeks. “I’m not sure, love, but is it technically a lie if he didn’t tell you?”

  He did not just say that.

  “A lie of omission is still a lie.”

  “She’s sober and has a whole new family. Maybe he was afraid you’d leave him for her.”

  “Maybe …”

  He runs his fingers through my hair as we talk, completely relaxing me. “I think the bigger question is, what are you going to do now that you know?”

  “I’m not sure. It’s not like they live around the corner.”

  He chuckles lightly. “No, but they don’t live in Siberia, either. Pasadena isn’t even an hour away.”

  “I just don’t know. It’s not fair bringing Heather here and getting her hopes up for a sister. We’re done with school in less than two months. After summer, we’re off to college. She’s turning five in a month and I’m already eighteen, but damn, Dec, she’s so sweet.”

  “She looks like you. She has your smile, eyes, and hair, she’s adorable. I know how much it sucks to lose a parent to their shitty choices, but if I had a brother or a sister show up, I’d be happy, Holly.”

  I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him to me. As our lips meet and our heartbeats sync, the love I have for him fills my heart. I don’t know how I would have gotten through today without him.

  “I am happy, Declan. I’ll figure out a way. Right now, I want to lose myself in you. Make love to me.”

  “Are you sure? I know you were in pain earlier.”

  “I’m fine. I haven’t been in any pain in hours. You’re spending the night, my dad is out of town, your mom is at work, and we should make every second count.”

  “Your wish is my command. I love you.”

  “I love you, too. So very much.”

  eight

  Holly

  “Good morning, sunshine.”

  “Baxter, what are you doing here?” He hands me a latte, of which I immediately inhale the scent with great appreciation. “Thank you for this, come on in.” Opening the door wider, I motion for him to come inside.

  “Nice place. Much homier than Declan’s apartment.”

  “I don’t know, I kind of like his place. It’s more modern. Take a seat and tell me what brings you by.”

  Baxter moves to the couch and smiles like the cat that ate the canary. “So … how did it go last night?”

  He props his feet on my table and makes himself comfortable as I take a seat. “Shouldn’t you be across the hall asking Dec that question?”

  “Come on, Holly! I’ve missed you. Besides, I need to know your side before I can advise him on his next move.”

  As I shake my head, I tuck my feet up underneath me. “It was fine.”

  “Fine? That’s all you’re going to give me is fine? What the hell? Where are the butterflies? The glassy lovebird eyes? You’re going to have to do better, girl.”

  “Look, it was nice. I’ve missed him, but it was strange, too. We were buzzed and started talking about difficult stuff. Which I was okay with as a friend … I think. But as his ex it was strange, uncomfortable, sad even.”

  “Who brought up the difficult stuff, you or him?”

  “Me.”

  He shakes his head at my sheepish response. “Tread those waters carefully, Holls. This is supposed to be you and Declan starting over, not living in the past. Obviously, you have things to work out.”

  “Obviously.”

  “You can’t let those things control your future. When Bobby and I got back together, we had the same issues. I wanted to know everything. At first it was innocent. How many guys, how often, what position. Then as our relationship progressed, I couldn’t help but take his words and turn them on myself and then ultimately back on him.”

  “How do you mean?”

  “All right, so one time he was fucking me up against a wall and pulled a move he’d never done before. I remembered him telling me he and an ex did it against the wall all the time. So while we were going at it, my mind started racing, I asked if he’d learned that move from him, which turned into an argument, which turned into me thinking he was cheating again.”

  “I’m so sorry, Bax.”

  He waves it off, but the sadness in his tone is more than evident. “It’s water under the bridge now. My point is, sometimes it’s better to let sleeping dogs lie. Knowing how many girls Declan was with or what he did with them isn’t going to help you. Vice versa for him.”

  “So you have talked to him.”

  His know-it-all smirk is present. “Texted. But I told him the same thing I’m telling you. To move forward, you both have to forget the past two years happened. Let the questions and the anger go. Focus on now.”

  “Why are you suddenly so invested in us?”

  With wide eyes, he snaps, “Are you serious right now? I’ve been vested in you two since we were fourteen years old when you stole him from me.”

  I’m laughing now; it feels good. “You can’t steal someone who doesn’t want to go. Besides, if I remember correctly, he pursued me.”

  “Psht, girl, please. He would’ve eventually succumbed to the allure of my sexy man meat.”

  “Oh my God, Baxter, stop.” Tears are streaming down my cheeks I’m laughing so hard.

  “Fine, back to my original point. Once you two hit that w
hole seven-year itch thing and broke up, I was suddenly persona non-grata in your life. Even so, I still kept hoping the two of you would finally come to your senses. I’ve never seen a couple better matched than you and Dec.”

  “Seven-year itch, huh?”

  “You doubt?” he asks with an arched brow. “Come on, Holly. It was literally seven years to the day the two of you got together that you broke up. Declan jumping to conclusions and you keeping big-ass secrets. I suppose it was bound to happen, but taking two years to work it out is plain stupid.”

  He stands and leans over, kissing me on the cheek. “Don’t waste two more years. I could be an uncle by then if you two get your shit together fast.”

  I’m practically choking on my coffee as he points a finger at me.

  “I’m not joking, Holls. Kids might not ever be on my radar, so I’m sure as fuck not going to miss out on my favorite uncle status. Think about what I said. Life is way too short for dr-a-ma,” he says with a flick of his hand as he closes the door behind him.

  Not two minutes later, my phone is ringing.

  “How did it go? Did you fuck?” Sage asks, and I can hear her typing away on her keyboard at work.

  “Good morning to you, too. Sorry to burst your bubble, but there was no fornication last night.”

  With a sad sigh, she asks, “Did you at least kiss those full lips of his? Please tell me yes. Declan has the best lips of any man I’ve ever seen.”

  “Sort of. It was more than a peck but not quite a kiss.”

  “Aww, he’s trying to make you want it. Score for Declan.”

  I can’t help but laugh. “I’m scared to want him, Sage.”

  “No, you’re scared to tell him the truth because you know he’s going to be angry. Holly, I’m going to tell you something and I want you to truly hear the words. He’s going to be mad, but his anger with you will be fleeting. His anger with your mom … well, let’s just say it’s a good thing she’s off the grid.”

  “I covered it up, though. A lie of omission is still a lie.”

  She sighs loudly. “Maybe, but sometimes you read too much into things, Holls. After what happened … it was only natural for you to need some time. If you’d been able to have an actual conversation with Dec before everything went to shit, you would have worked everything out. Trust me on this. I’ve known him just as long as you have. Things will be okay. Have faith in him.”