Love in the Clouds

by Barbara Cartland

  His lips were on hers and she felt again that wonderful ecstasy that was so intense that it was half pain and half rapture.

  Then, as his lips became more demanding, more possessive, she felt as if she wished to be closer to him, to become a part of him, even though she did not understand what she wanted.

  Lord Frome took his lips from hers and said in a voice that was unsteady,

  “I want you to explain to me, my sweet, why you think the kukri was meant for you and not for me.”

  “I-I suppose it is something I should have – told you before,” Chandra replied, “and perhaps you will be – angry with me for not– having done so.”

  “I will never be angry with you again,” Lord Frome promised, “and you must forgive me for the way I behaved when you first told me you had come in your father’s place.”

  “I knew you did not want me, so I could understand how when I – turned up it made you – cross.”

  “I have hated women for so long that I did not know how different you were, how very very different, my precious one.”

  He kissed her again before he went on,

  “But we must try to keep to the point. Tell me why somebody, and I cannot really believe there is such a person, would wish to kill you.”

  In a very low voice, hesitating because she thought Lord Frome would not understand why she had done it, Chandra told him about the Lama Teshoo and the Sakya-Cho Monastery and how, when they were actually leaving the Residency, the emerald had been put into her hand.

  He did not speak while she related all that had happened and only when she finished speaking, did his arm tighten around her and he asked,

  “How could you take such risks with yourself when you belong to me?”

  “I did not – know then that you would – love me,” Chandra said with a little smile, “and I never thought because I – hated you that I would – love you.”

  “You do really love me now – you are sure of it?” Lord Frome enquired.

  “I did not – know that love could be so – wonderful – so perfect!” she said, “or that your kiss could make me feel as if you carried me up to the very peaks of the Himalayas.”

  “My precious darling!”

  The words seemed to break from his lips.

  Then he was kissing her again with slow demanding kisses. which became, as he felt her response, fierce and possessive.

  Only when they were both breathless, did he say,

  “I will protect you so that we will take the emerald in safety to those it belongs to. At the same time I will not let you have it any longer in your possession. You must give it to me.”

  Chandra hesitated.

  “But – suppose,” she asked, “suppose those who – want to steal it – strike again?”

  “Then it would be better for me than for you to die,” Lord Frome replied.

  Chandra gave a little cry.

  “Do you think I would let you do that?” she asked. “You are so – important in the world – and so is the work you do.”

  She knew he was about to protest and continued quickly,

  “Besides the Lama said I shall be protected, as I was just now when he told me, although you may not believe it, that I was to come to you.”

  “I do believe it,” Lord Frome said, “and because you obeyed him, my darling heart, it saved your life.”

  Chandra smiled from sheer happiness because he believed that she had indeed been protected and did not try to put it down to her imagination as another man might have done.

  “I want you to look after me,” she said softly, “but I will keep the emerald round my neck because I know that if there is any danger for – me again the Lama will warn me of it. Perhaps it would be more difficult for him to do so if I don’t have the emerald in my – possession.”

  Lord Frome did not argue, he merely said,

  “The emerald is precious to the Sakya-Cho Monastery but you are far more precious to me. Therefore I will protect you both and, although I am not clairvoyant, I believe we shall arrive safely at Bairagnia and after that there will be no reason for thieves and robbers to pursue us.”

  “I shall always feel – safe with you,” Chandra said.

  “Which is what you will be, but, my darling, tonight and tomorrow night you must sleep beside me as you are now, for I will never again allow you to be in a room by yourself where you might be attacked.”

  “I-I would like – that,” Chandra replied, “but it might be – uncomfortable for you.”

  “It may be uncomfortable,” Lord Frome said, “and not only for the reason that the bed is very small. But we will be married at the first British Church we find in India, and then we can be together by night and day, my lovely one, without any more difficulties.”

  Chandra did not speak for a moment, but he could see her eyes shining in the light of the candle with a radiance that seemed to transform her face.

  Then she said a little hesitatingly,

  “You are sure – quite sure that you – ought to – marry me?”

  “I am quite sure that I intend to marry you.”

  “B-but you are a – woman-hater! You swore never to – m-marry.”

  He gave a little laugh and there was something almost boyish in it.

  “I was so determined I would never do so,” he said, “that I might have known that sooner or later fate would deliberately send you to refute all such assertions.”

  Chandra turned her face against his shoulder.

  “Papa told me you had a – broken heart,” she said, “and I wondered why nobody had ever been able to – repair it.”

  “Looking back, I don’t think it was actually broken,” Lord Frome said, “only slightly dented! What was really damaged was my pride and what you would call my self-conceit.”

  “What – happened?” Chandra asked.

  “It is a banal story, I hardly like to repeat it,” Lord Frome replied. “It is just that I thought I was in love with a girl to whom, because I was a young idealistic fool, I wrote poems in the Byronistic vein and letters that were immaturely passionate.”

  There was the dry mocking note in his voice that she had heard so often before and Chandra asked,

  “What – happened?”

  “I discovered that the girl I was so busy idolising found my letters and my poems amusing enough to read aloud to her friends. What was more, she was secretly engaged to somebody else, although she did not trouble to acquaint me with the fact.”

  “That must have been very – hurtful.”

  “I was young enough to think that it was a sword-thrust to my heart!”

  “So you went round the world. That is what I – thought you must have – done.”

  “It was the most sensible thing I ever did,” Lord Frome said. “It was in India where I first became interested in the Sanskrit manuscripts which inevitably took me to Tibet.”

  “So out of evil came good!”

  “I would hardly give it such a grand-sounding word as evil,” Lord Frome said, “but the young are very vulnerable, which is exactly what I was.”

  “In a way – I am glad.”

  She thought there was an expression of surprise in his eyes and she explained,

  “If you had married the girl to whom you wrote the poems, you would be an old married man by now with perhaps a large number of children.”

  Lord Frome laughed.

  “You are quite right, my darling!”

  “And the Sanskrit manuscripts would still be forgotten in their libraries,” Chandra went on. “Then so much that is of importance would never have been revealed to the world.”

  “What you are saying,” Lord Frome said, “is that God ‘moves in a mysterious way’, and I accept your reasoning simply because I am so glad, so very very glad, my lovely one, that Fate kept me for you.”

  “I – too am – glad,” Chandra said, “except that I cannot believe I shall not wake up to find this is all a dream and you are still – hating m
e because you are – convinced that as a woman, I will not be able to – help you in your – work.”

  Lord Frome drew her a little closer.

  “We are going to work together always,” he said, “not only at the Sanskrit manuscript but at something far more important to us both.”

  “What is that?”

  “Making a home for ourselves and perhaps ‘the large number of children’ which I should have had if I had been married when I was twenty-one!”

  “I am – jealous when I think – of it,” Chandra whispered.

  “You need never be jealous of anyone,” Lord Frome said firmly. “I have avoided all women for a very long time and now, my darling – I am prepared to concentrate on you and you alone.”

  His lips were against her forehead as he spoke, then he kissed her eyes.

  “You are so beautiful!” he sighed. “It is impossible for me even to look at another woman when you are in the room.”

  “I-I felt I looked – beautiful when I wore those lovely saris you – gave me,” Chandra said, “but otherwise I feel that I am very nondescript compared to the – lovely ladies you must have met in England and in other countries.”

  Lord Frome kissed one of her cheeks before he said,

  “You forget I am used to looking for something different and unique in manuscripts and therefore I have always found the so-called pretty or beautiful women of Society, ordinary and somehow uninspiring.”

  He kissed her other cheek and went on,

  “You inspire me in a way I cannot explain. You also have a unique beauty that arouses me spiritually as well as physically.”

  Chandra gave a little exclamation.

  “How could you say such – wonderful things to me?” she asked. “It is what I have wanted the man I loved to feel – but I never – never dreamt that there would ever be one in the whole world who would – think like you.”

  “We are made for each other,” Lord Frome said positively. “You are the other half of me, the part that has always been missing, which is why, my precious one, you have a lot of translating to do to make me as I ought to be.”

  “It will be – very exciting – work!”

  He kissed each corner of her mouth, then her lips before he added,

  “We have a great deal to discover about each other and it is going to take a lifetime before we know everything.”

  Every time Lord Frome kissed her Chandra felt the sensations he aroused in her running through her like shafts of sunlight.

  Once again she thought that she was like the peaks of the Himalayas with the sun turning them in the morning from white to pink, from pink to gold.

  “You were – telling me about the – home we will make – together,” she enquired.

  “I have a house which has been shut up for many years while I have been travelling,” Lord Frome replied. “It is very old and I think very beautiful, but what it needs is a Mistress, someone to care for it, someone who will bring it an atmosphere of happiness that it has always lacked.”

  “Can – I do that?” Chandra asked.

  “We will do it together,” he answered. “Now that I have found you, I know that happiness is based on two people – not one.”

  “You are quite – quite sure that I can make you – happy? It is very difficult for me to – believe that I am really – necessary to you.”

  “I will convince you how very necessary you are,” he said. “But now, my precious one, I think you should try to go to sleep. We have a very long day in front of us tomorrow and, if I make you collapse for a second time, I would never forgive myself!”

  “I feel as if I shall never be tired again. You have given my heart wings with which to fly through that frightening valley where there is malaria.”

  She paused, then very shyly in a voice he could hardly hear, she said,

  “I shall want to – ride very quickly – so that when we arrive in the next bungalow I can be – close beside you again – like this.”

  She knew that her words excited him.

  Then he was kissing her again, kissing her until she felt as though they were no longer in the small confined space but high in the sky enveloped with the light of love –

  *

  It was a very long day’s journey when Lord Frome and Chandra rode through the valley where malaria was prevalent to the Shishigari Hill,

  From the moment they left the clouds in the Churia mountains behind, Chandra felt herself protected and knew that she need not really have any fears of either of them being attacked.

  Now, although she rode directly behind him as she had done before, Mehan Lall and his personal servant walked on either side of her pony,

  She knew that Lord Frome carried his loaded pistol in his pocket and there was a knife at Mehan Lall’s waist that had not been there before.

  Now there was no question of Lord Frome hurrying ahead of the rest of the baggage train and she knew that all the syces had been alerted to look out for any enemy who might appear unexpectedly.

  When they reached the Dak bungalow at Shishigari Hill, the charpoy from Chandra’s bedroom was moved into Lord Frome’s and their beds were arranged so close together, that they could touch each other.

  It was difficult for Chandra even now to realise how deeply in love she was or how much Lord Frome loved her.

  And yet she had only to see the expression in his eyes to feel her heart turn over in her breast.

  When he touched her, she felt as if the shaft of sunlight that was there every time he kissed her made her whole body vibrate with new emotions she had never thought it was possible to feel.

  They talked together when they ate luncheon and though it was a very quick meal she felt as if they ate ambrosia and drank nectar and the world in which they sat near each other was a golden dream-like place of unbelievable beauty.

  Because she was in love Chandra found every flower, every tree and every butterfly was different from how it had looked before.

  They seemed to lift her mind into heights of inspiration that were inexpressible and yet she knew that she would be able to tell them to Lord Frome.

  ‘I love you! I adore you!’ she thought as she looked at him riding ahead of her.

  As if her love reached out and he felt it, he would turn his head to smile at her and she knew that they were as close as if she was in his arms.

  Only when at last the long day was ended and she could slip into the quilt on her bed and wait for him to come from the sluice where he was washing, did she think of how her whole world had changed and altered since she had gone to Nepal.

  If her father had not been ill, she would have been left at home with Ellen, seeing very few people and counting every penny they spent because the money that Lord Frome had given the Professor must last for a very long time.

  Instead a door into the world had suddenly opened before her.

  She had found herself not only in one of the most fascinating countries she had ever imagined, but she had also had the privilege and glory of seeing the Lotus Manuscript and, more important than anything else, of finding love.

  ‘It must all have been planned for me since the beginning of time,’ she thought, and waited with her eyes on the door for Lord Frome to return.

  He was taking such care of her that he had in fact locked her in before she had been left alone to undress and climb into bed.

  Before that Mehan Lall had boarded up the window in the room so that it was impossible for anyone to enter in that way.

  But even having taken these precautions, Lord Frome had not left her unprotected, for his pistol lay beside her on the bed and he had instructed her in its use.

  Because he was so loving and at the same time so understanding, Chandra thought now that she had never had one moment of embarrassment when she was sleeping beside him.

  She knew it was the only sensible thing to do and she knew too that while he kissed her passionately and demandingly, he still treated her with a reverence that made
her feel at times as if she was one of the fragile manuscripts they both handled so delicately.

  ‘He loves me! He really loves me!’ she told herself.

  Although in many ways Chandra was very innocent, she realised that, unless Lord Frome had been exactly the type of man he was, it would have been impossible for her to sleep beside him and not be afraid.

  Now she heard him coming down the passage and when, having turned the key in the lock of the door, he came into the room, her eyes were shining in the candlelight.

  As he looked at her, he asked,

  “How is it possible that you can be lovelier every time I see you? Each time I think that no woman could be more beautiful and yet now when I look at you, I know you are much, much lovelier than you were a few minutes ago!”

  Chandra smiled with sheer happiness.

  But she knew with some intelligent part of her mind that when Lord Frome had forced upon himself a reserve and a hatred of all women, it had been like a fortified wall inside which he had enclosed himself.

  Now the wall had fallen and everything that was poetic and idealistic in his nature had come to the surface, and he expressed himself in words that at times seemed like The Song of the Celestial Soul which they carried in their baggage.

  She was sure that Lord Frome spoke to her not only with his heart but with his soul and she wanted to give him in return everything she possessed – her mind, her heart, her soul and of, course, her body.

  He walked across the room now to sit down on the side of her bed to say,

  “I have been counting how many hours there are before we can be married.”

  “There is still time for you to – change your mind,” Chandra teased.

  “Do you think that is possible?” he enquired. “You know as well as I do that I cannot escape not only from you, my darling, but also from fate.”

  “Do you – want to?”

  “If I say many more flattering things, you will grow conceited,” he answered, “and one of the things I love about you is that when anybody pays you a compliment you blush.”

  He bent forward as he spoke to find her lips and, although it was meant to be a light kiss, from the moment he touched Chandra they both felt the magnetic force that was inescapable drawing them closer.