Change of Heart

by Molly Jebber

  Dorothy finished her food in a hurry. “I am going across the street for a few minutes. I will be back.”

  Matt suspected she would buy clothes or toys for Benjamin. She had been quiet through dinner, and it was not like her. It was difficult not to stare at Benjamin’s skinny frame and his insatiable hunger. The small boy chewed and swallowed the food like it was his last meal. He stayed close to make sure the child did not choke. “Slow down there, little fella. I do not want you to get a stomachache.”

  The little boy lowered his head and slowed his eating.

  Becca cleared the table. She leaned close to Matt’s ear. “We need to talk away from him.” She pushed a plate and bowl toward the child. “Here’s more vegetable soup and bread. Take your time and eat what you like. We’ll be right back.”

  Matt followed Becca to his office.

  “I’m worried about Benjamin. What kind of place is a saloon for a little boy? He’s too young to fend for himself.”

  “His mother smelled of alcohol. I suspect she entertains men for money and serves drinks.”

  She flattened her hand against her forehead. “Where’s he while she’s entertaining?”

  He put his finger to his lips and pointed to Benjamin. “I do not want him to overhear us.” He sighed. “I do not know where he sleeps or spends his time during the day. He stated he fell jumping off a box outside the saloon. The bruises on his back looked suspiciously like handprints to me.” Matt shook his head. “He cannot be more than six.”

  She wrung her hands and paced. “We have to do something. He can’t go back there, Matt.”

  He circled his arms around her to calm her. “Mrs. Evans may not like our interfering.”

  She stepped away and paced. “I must help this child. I’ll go and talk to her.”

  “You will do no such thing. You cannot go inside the saloon. There are some unsavory and dangerous men who hang out there.”

  She opened the door and glanced over her shoulder. “Keep Benjamin here a little longer.”

  Chapter Seven

  Becca ran out the door on her way to the saloon. She glanced over her shoulder. A patient holding her ear and groaning had stopped Matt. Good. She would have time to find Gertrude before Matt could come and insist she leave. Her heart slammed against her chest as she pushed through the saloon’s wooden doors. The stench of alcohol and tobacco nauseated her. Her eyes darted around the room. Men with dusty clothes, long hair, cowboy boots, and heavy eyes sat half out of their chairs. Card players wearing Stetsons, coattails, and ascots concentrated on their cards and threw money to the center of the table. Women dressed in tight and low-cut dresses carried bottles of liquor and glasses on trays. Others sat on men’s laps.

  The music stopped. A hot blush rose from her neck to her forehead. She wanted to scream for the men and women to stop staring. Matt had been right when he told her this was a bad idea. She didn’t care. Someone had to help Benjamin, and it might as well be her.

  She approached Gertrude Evans. “I need to talk to you about Benjamin.”

  “I’m kinda busy, sugar. I don’t have time to chat. Besides, I doubt you and I would find much to talk about.” Gertrude used her fingernail to remove a piece of tobacco from between her teeth. “If you’re done with Benjamin, you tell him to come back to the saloon. You better run along before one of these men wraps their arms around your tiny waist.”

  “I would like to help you with Benjamin, if you don’t mind.”

  Gertrude stepped back. “What do ya mean? Are you gonna take him off my hands?”

  Becca fought to control her temper. What a terrible thing for a mamm to say about her child. “My sister, Ruth, owns the mending shop not far from here. Margaret is a seamstress who works for her. Between the three of us, we could watch him during the day while you work.”

  Gertrude scowled and jutted her chin. “I live and work here. I don’t have time to take him to your sister’s mendin’ shop every day.”

  Blocking out everyone else in the room, she concentrated on Gertrude. If she didn’t, her knees would buckle. “What if he lived with Ruth and me? We live down the street. You could visit him anytime you want.”

  Gertrude leaned close to Becca. “I would like to get rid of him. Sometimes he spoils the mood when I’m with a man.” She winked. “You know what I mean? You’d be helpin’ me out. You’re not goin’ to charge me money for takin’ care of him, are ya? ’Cause I’m not payin’ you to do this.”

  She shut her mouth. No, she didn’t know what Gertrude meant. Nor did she want to. She was here to help Benjamin. “No, his care will not cost you a cent. We would like to care for him as long as you let us.”

  A man’s hand grabbed Becca’s arm, and she jerked away from him.

  The bearded man sneered and chuckled. “This one needs new clothes, Gertrude. She needs to show some skin.” He sat and patted his lap. “Come sit with me, sweetie.” He grabbed her arm.

  Gertrude slapped his arm away from Becca. “You leave her alone.”

  Her skin crawled. How did Gertrude stand this place? She didn’t understand women like her, women who talked tough, revealed too much of their bodies, and allowed men to do who knew what to them. “If you don’t mind, I’ll take Benjamin home with me.” She grabbed a pencil and paper on the bar and wrote Ruth’s address on it. She passed the note to Gertrude.

  Gertrude stuffed the paper in her pocket. “I’ll go upstairs and put his clothes in a bag.” She lifted a dirty glass and swigged a small amount of liquor. “You better come with me. These men are ready to pounce on you. They like the young ones best.”

  She shivered and followed Gertrude. Upon entering the small room, her eyes swept from the lace undergarments hung on hooks in the small washroom to the bed covered with soiled, rumpled sheets. On the floor in the small closet, a dirt-stained toy dog lay on a pillow and blankets. Her stomach tightened. Benjamin slept in the closet. What did he hear? How much time did he spend in this dark, cramped space? She eyed the slide lock on the door. Did she lock him in the closet? He must’ve been afraid she wouldn’t let him out. Angry words flooded her mind. She fought the urge to tell Gertrude what she thought of her but shut her mouth for the child’s sake.

  “I don’t know anyone willin’ to take on someone else’s kid.” Gertrude handed her a bag with a tattered shirt. “Appreciate it.”

  Becca walked over, grabbed the dog, and stuffed it in the bag. She raced downstairs and outside. She paused and caught her breath. It would take a long time to erase what she had seen and heard in the last few minutes.

  Matt’s long legs strode toward her. She expected smoke to roll out of his ears to match his stern grimace. Instead, he held her elbow and guided her to the office through the back door.

  Eyes narrowed, he let go of her arm. “I told you not to go in the saloon. You could have been harmed. You put me in a terrible position in not being able to go after you when Mrs. Bell came in to have me examine a boil on her ear. I would have gone to talk to Gertrude myself after our last patient.”

  Hands on her hips, she leaned forward. “I couldn’t stand to take him back to her even for a minute. A saloon’s no place for a child. You should’ve seen her room. There are sinful outfits lining her washroom, and Benjamin’s bed is nothing more than a bunch of blankets on a dirty floor in her closet. How can a mamm have such a cold attitude toward her child. Where is he?”

  “Dorothy is with him. She bought him new clothes, a small wooden train, and a picture book.” He removed a thread from her collar. “You should have seen his eyes when she delivered them. His grin stretched from ear to ear.”

  “Matt, Gertrude said Benjamin got in the way of her entertaining. She has no problem with him living with Ruth and me. She couldn’t wait to get rid of him. How can a mamm hand over her child to a stranger?”

  “A mother giving up her child is appalling, but Gertrude is not like the women you are used to. Benjamin is blessed to have you and Ruth.”

  “I’ll c
heck on him before I leave to tell Ruth what happened today. She’ll be thrilled to have a child in the house.”

  Dorothy was reading to the boy.

  Glancing up, he skipped to her and lifted the small train. “Dorothy bought me this.” He picked up the small red shirt and blue pants. “She bought me bedclothes, too.” He held them with pride and pressed the clothes to his face. “I haven’t ever had bedclothes before.”

  Becca patted his shoulder. “What is your book about?”

  “Animals. I want to hear it again.”

  She patted his head. “Dorothy has been kind to you. Did you thank her?”

  “Yep, I did.”

  “I need to speak to Dorothy. You enjoy your book, and I’ll be back in a minute.”

  The child sat on the floor and flipped through the pages.

  Becca gestured for Dorothy to join her away from him. She recounted her experience with Gertrude and described Benjamin’s living conditions in the saloon. “I’m going to take him to live with Ruth and me today. I need to talk to her. Are you all right with Benjamin staying here a little longer?”

  “Take your time.” Dorothy removed her spectacles. “I am enjoying this little one. He has captured my heart. It is wonderful what you and Ruth are doing for him.”

  She hurried to the mending shop and stepped inside. Ruth looked up from the material she held. “What brings you here at this time of day?”

  Pulling her aside and out of earshot from customers, she told her what had happened.

  Ruth shook her head in disapproval. “First, you should have let Matt go to the saloon. You were out of your mind going to such a sinful place alone.”

  “I couldn’t wait. Benjamin needed help. It doesn’t matter. The ordeal is over, and I’m fine.”

  Shaking her finger, Ruth scolded her. “Do not ever go there again.”

  She would do it again for the little boy, but she would refrain from making this statement to Ruth to avoid an argument. “I won’t.”

  Ruth’s face softened. “Of course he can live with us.” She put her hand on Becca’s shoulder. “I cannot believe this is happening. I have always wanted a child. Margaret and I can both care for him here. She does not have any family, and she loves children.”

  “Wait until you meet him. Your heart will melt. He’s pitiful and needs us. He’s with Dorothy at the office. I’ll bring him here and introduce the two of you.”

  “God has given us a wonderful gift today.”

  “After meeting his mamm, I’m sure he has not been cuddled, kissed, or treasured as a child deserves.”

  She kissed Ruth’s cheek and walked to the medical office. She stepped inside and approached Benjamin. “I would like to take you to meet my sister, Ruth. Will you come with me?”

  “Where is your sister?”

  “She’s not far.” Becca glanced over her shoulder and eyed Dorothy. “Please let Matt know Benjamin and I are going to the shop to meet Ruth before heading home in case he needs me for something. Otherwise, I’ll see you both in the morning.”

  Dorothy hugged them good-bye.

  Benjamin stepped outside with Becca. The little boy’s eyebrows lifted. “I don’t want to leave. I want to stay here. Please don’t make me go back home to my ma.”

  She squeezed his hand. He didn’t know her or Ruth. She envisioned him being upset when she suggested he live with them. However, he might take the news better than she had anticipated. “Benjamin, I talked to your mamm. She told me you can come live with my sister and me for a while. What do you think?”

  He paused then spoke in a low tone. “Do you have any men who live at your house?”

  “No. Why do you ask?”

  He raised solemn eyes to her. “Dr. Matt’s okay, but men at the saloon push me and yell at me. I’m scared of ’em. Bad men hurt my ma. I hear her scream when I’m in the closet.”

  Becca swallowed around the knot in her throat. The child confirmed her fears. Gertrude had not cared what Benjamin heard. She lifted his chin with her finger. “You don’t need to worry. No men live with us. You will be safe with Ruth and me.” She pointed to Ruth’s house down the street. “We live right over there.”

  “All right, then I’ll go to your house.”

  Becca bit her upper lip. This child had endured more heartache than any child ever should. She would give him all the love she could muster. She knew Ruth would too. “You will like my sister. She loves children, and I told her all about you. She’s eager to meet you.”

  Ruth stood outside and met them halfway. She offered her hand. “Hello, Benjamin. I am Ruth, Becca’s sister. It is nice to meet you.”

  Benjamin scuffed the toe of his shabby boot in the dirt.

  Her sister pulled a piece of candy rolled in a handkerchief from her pocket. “Would you like this?”

  He lifted it from her fingers.

  Benjamin held both their hands, as they walked to their house. Inside, he ran from room to room. “Your house is big.” He smoothed his hands along the pillows decorating the sofa, quilts on racks and beds, tabletops, and furniture. He opened the closet door. “This closet is much bigger than the one I sleep in.”

  Ruth shot Becca a sad look. “He thinks he is sleeping in the closet.”

  Becca circled her arm around his shoulders. “We’ll fill your closet with clothes. You’ll sleep here on the bed.” She patted the bed.

  He stared with wide eyes. “This is my room and bed?”

  Becca pointed. “Go look at the rest of the house.” They were strangers, but Gertrude didn’t ask one question. Benjamin came with them without hesitation. It seemed unnatural for a mamm and her son. How sad his life must have been to be unloved and unwanted.

  She and Ruth plopped on the sofa. Becca patted her lap, and he sat. “Ruth will take you to her shop in the morning where you will meet Margaret. She’s a kind woman who likes to play games. You will enjoy spending time with her. Then, in a few weeks, one of us will take you to school.”

  “I don’t know how to play games.”

  Becca bit her lip. The neglected child had lived a sheltered life. They would introduce him to games, puzzles, books, and a variety of toys. “Margaret will teach you how to play games, work puzzles, read books, and draw pictures.”

  Benjamin clapped. “She sounds nice like Dorothy.” He sat quiet for a moment. “Does Ma know where I am?”

  Becca doubted the woman would visit her son, and she hoped not. Nonetheless, she and Ruth didn’t have any legal right to the child. She would have to let Gertrude visit if she showed up. “Yes.”

  His mouth quivered. “Please don’t let Ma come. She hits me and hollers at me. Ma locks me in the closet, and I’m always afraid she’ll forget and not let me out. She’s mean.”

  Becca held him tight. His distress broke her heart. She understood his fear. Her jaw clenched. She hoped Benjamin never had to face his mamm again, but she couldn’t make promises she might not be able to keep.

  Ruth sat next to her and rubbed Benjamin’s back.

  “Ouch.” He drew away from her.

  Ruth raised his shirt, and covered her mouth. “Becca, look.” His bony back was covered with black-and-blue bruises.

  Becca whispered in Ruth’s ear. “Matt found the bruises when he examined him. We didn’t question him about them. He has been through enough. Since he is with us, there is no reason to broach the subject with him. No matter. We will have to do our best to protect him from harm. If she comes here, one of us will need to fetch Matt to come and stay with us until she is gone. If he is here, she will be less likely to raise a hand to Benjamin.”

  Ruth’s lips trembled. “I agree. We are no match for a woman like Gertrude if she became violent.”

  Becca glanced at the bruises on his back and then put her hands on the child’s cheeks. “We’re happy to have you here with us. Tomorrow, we’ll go shopping and buy clothes, books, and toys to decorate your shelves. If you could have anything you wanted, what would it be?”

&nbs
p; He tapped his lip with his finger. “A new fluffy toy dog.”

  “I’m sure we can find one.”

  What had happened in this boy’s life to cause him to trust two people he barely knew? He had accepted her and Ruth without hesitation.

  She wanted him to relax and find comfort here. Maybe if he put his belongings in drawers it would give him a sense of permanence. “Let’s go to your room and put the clothes Dorothy bought you in your drawers.” She handed him the new clothes first. She opened the bag Gertrude had given her and lifted the dirty tattered shirt. How pitiful. She wadded the bag with the shirt inside and set it aside. Later, she would throw it away.

  He tucked the clothes in the drawer and shut it. He eyed his dirty stuffed dog on the bed, where Becca had put it earlier. He left it there.

  What were his thoughts? He had asked for a new toy dog. Did his old one remind him of his life in the saloon? “We need to feed you and then you need a bath.”

  Ruth tousled his hair. “How would you like an egg sandwich and fried potatoes?”

  Benjamin rubbed his stomach. “It sounds good to me. Do you have any cookies?”

  “We’ll make cookies before we feed you and give you a bath. Would you like to join us?”

  Benjamin tugged at her apron. “I don’t know how to make cookies.”

  “Ruth and I will show you. You will love it.” Becca laughed as he followed her sister’s instructions as to what and where to get the ingredients. She waited until her sister and Benjamin began stirring the mixture, then she dipped her hand in the flour bin and threw the white powder on Ruth. Handing him the flour bin, she winked.

  He plunged his hand in the white mixture, grabbed a handful, and tossed it on her as he squealed with pleasure.

  Becca plopped in a chair. Flour coated her kapp, Ruth and Benjamin’s hair, and their clothes.

  Benjamin giggled until tears stained his powdered face.

  Ruth sat and pulled him on her lap. “You are adorable.”

  “I want to make a mess with flour again sometime.”