"Is that normal?" I asked, even though I knew it wasn't.
"Patrol cars drive all over town, but he's parked watching my house," Reed explained.
My hands trembled. "Should I be worried about him?" I asked, my voice wavering.
He looked down at me with a conflicted expression, like he wasn't sure he should tell me something. "No. Let's not worry, but I am going to keep my eye on him. I don't like his fixation on you. You said that your ex probably doesn't know where you are, which means that doll had to come from someone else."
I nodded. That thought had occurred to me too, but who would have been that motivated to send me that doll? "But why?" I asked aloud.
Reed shrugged. "It could be because he wants to see how you'll react, to prove you're hiding something. It could be that he has developed an unhealthy obsession with you. Although, his digging into your past could have uncovered where you are. Until we know, you should always stick to being with someone. Preferably me, but any of the guys will protect you. I hope you don't get pissed, but I've talked to Jeremy and Aiden, and they think you, Becca and Toni should stick close to us."
Suddenly Toni's phone conversation made more sense. She rarely had trouble finding a guy to hook up with when she was in the mood. "Is that why Toni ended up going home with Jeremy last night?"
Reed nodded and flashed a satisfied smirk. I swear those guys were like possessive cavemen.
"I bet Aiden is sticking to Becca like glue," I thought aloud.
"He's driving her nuts," he confirmed.
I thought about how Aiden was when Becca was missing, and everything they went through after Reed found her. I couldn't imagine he'd let her out of his sight. He might be driving her nuts, but she'd understand. She'd be the same way if Vanessa was out of prison.
Pratt started his patrol car and began to drive slowly toward us. We were only a couple houses away from Reed's place, and I suddenly felt the urge to run.
He pulled up next to us and lowered his window. "I thought you were dating that cute little brunette lawyer," he taunted Reed.
"What do you want, Pratt?" Reed demanded in a bored tone.
"I just wanted to ask Anna a question," he sneered.
My eyes widened with shock before I schooled my face back to neutral. Reed didn't miss my reaction, but I'd hoped Pratt did.
"That is your name isn't it, Annabelle? I found an old missing poster of a girl that looked a lot like you, except it said her name was Annabelle Brandt not Katelyn Kennedy. What are you running from, Anna?" he taunted.
"You sound crazy. You know that right?" I deflected.
"See, I don't think so. I'm going to keep looking though," Pratt threatened.
"Reed, does this qualify as harassment?" I asked.
"He's certainly getting close. I think it's time I had a chat with his supervisor," Reed answered.
Pratt's radio started squawking, and Reed patted the hood of the car. "Sounds like you ought to go do your job, Freddie."
It was obvious that Pratt wanted to respond, but he could plainly see that he'd pushed Reed dangerously close to the edge.
Pratt drove off and we hurried into Reed's house. Inside he stood still. I could see the frustration roll off of him, but he was back to being careful not to scare me off. It was time for me to stop being a chicken. If I wanted Reed, I had to take the leap and hope he'd still be there to catch me once he'd heard the entire story.
Chapter 17
Kate
"I think it's time I told you everything," I said in a quietly strong voice.
"Only if you're ready. Not because that asshole pushed," Reed insisted.
"I want you to know me. The real me. And, if he keeps digging the past might catch up to me, if it hasn't already. You said if I had to run you'd run with me. I think you should know what we'd be running from," I warned.
Reed led me over to the couch. I angled my body toward him, but sat far enough apart that I had some space. I let my mind wander back to a time I had spent years trying to run away from. My skin prickled and tingled like it was covered by a colony of ants.
"My real name was Annabelle Mara. Cameron's name was Andrew Mara," I began.
"Was?" Reed interrupted.
"Was," I confirmed. "Cameron had been trying to convince me to leave John for about two years before the night John put us both in the hospital. I hated him, but I was afraid of what he'd do if I left. He had threatened my brother many times. It didn't matter what he did to me, but I couldn't let him hurt my brother."
"He did hurt your brother, and it wasn't your fault," Reed reassured me.
I swallowed hard, and looked down at my clutched hands. I didn't want him to see my eyes welling up with tears. "I'm still trying to believe that."
Reed's hands twitched. I knew he wanted to reach out and comfort me, but he seemed to know that I needed him not to. His reserve meant more to me than if he had pulled me into his arms.
"What should I call you?" Reed asked.
"I'm Kate. Annabelle died in that hospital. She was weak and too trusting. She's my past and I want to leave her there."
Reed wanted to argue with me, but I held my hand up to stop him. "Let me tell you all of it before I lose my nerve," I pleaded.
The memories washed over me, and even though I heard my voice telling Reed my story I felt like I was reliving it. Every sound, word, and feeling slammed into me. Each word I spoke aloud was like purging a disease. I hadn't realized how freeing it would feel to release the darkness I had buried inside of me for so many years. I closed my eyes and let the words come.
The summer before my senior year of high school I took some college classes at the community college. I walked into my Bio 101 class, not really looking where I was going, and bumped into the guy in front of me. Books crashed everywhere. My first college class and I'd managed to make a complete ass out of myself.
I bent down to pick them up at the same time he did. I reached for a book and accidentally brushed his hand. I felt my face burn red.
I sneaked a peek at him, and my breath caught. I knew him. His name was John Brandt, and he'd graduated a couple of years ahead of me. He smiled at me, revealing deep dimples. He'd been the most popular boy in school, played every sport, and he was smiling at me.
After class he asked me out for coffee. It seemed like a fairy tale, and John was my prince charming. We spent almost all of our free time together. He managed to charm my parents just like he charmed everyone, except for Cameron.
There were flashes every once in a while where a cold, hard look came over his eyes when one of my guy friends would speak to me. I was an idiot. Instead of being disturbed by those brief moments of possessiveness, I thought they were romantic.
Everything moved fast with us. We were exclusive by the end of our first week together. After a month we were sleeping together. It felt too soon for me, but he told me he loved me and I wanted to make him happy.
In the back of my mind I knew I didn't want to be with him forever. I didn't fantasize about our wedding, name unborn children, or any of that silly shit teenage girls do. Cameron and I applied to colleges, mostly outside of our small Illinois hometown. I never mentioned it to John. I knew he wouldn't like it and instinctively I avoided or hid the things he wouldn't approve of.
My parents decided to go out of town for the weekend of their anniversary. John wanted me to stay over at his apartment since they were going to be gone. I had made plans with Cameron and told him no. It was our first real fight. He got louder the more he argued with me, and when he still couldn't change my mind, he punched a hole in the wall next to my head. I flinched and insisted he take me home. I needed space to think, and he was crowding me.
He turned the corner onto my street and everything changed. A patrol car was parked in my driveway. I felt my stomach drop. I tossed open the car door and hopped out before John had even come to a stop.
I ran up the porch and left the door open behind me. Cameron sat slumped on the couch wi
th his head cradled in his hands. His shoulders shook and I realized he was crying.
"No!" I screamed, and my legs crumbled under me. Words rushed at me in a blur. I heard the officer say "I'm sorry...died instantly...drunk driver...patch of ice." Most of it sounded warbled in my head, but I'd caught the important words, died instantly, and I knew my life would never be the same.
Strong arms wrapped around me and I burrowed into the embrace. The unease I felt with him earlier was forgotten. I didn't want to think anymore. I didn't want to lose anyone else, not that night.
The last few months of school passed both slowly and too fast. Cameron and I were eighteen, so we hadn't had to leave our house. It was like time had stopped and I was just existing in this limbo I couldn't escape. I hadn't made up my mind about college. Cameron and I argued a lot. John was always around, taking up all of my time, and Cameron hated it.
I still caught glimpses of John's anger, but I was too numb to react to it. A week after graduation I woke up and puked. I'd felt queasy for a week, and combined with my missed period I knew I was pregnant. I didn't want to face it, but I knew.
I drove to the next town and bought a pregnancy test. I snuck it into my bathroom and took it. I waited the excruciatingly long three minutes only to see what I already knew confirmed. I was pregnant.
My hands shook all the way to John's apartment. I knew he'd take it badly, but I wasn't expecting what I got. He accused me of cheating on him since we'd always been careful. He screamed every profanity I'd ever heard and probably invented some new ones.
He picked up a dining room chair and threw it against the wall. I scrambled to my feet and ran for the door. He came after me and grabbed my arms too hard. Then he started to cry and wrapped his arms around me.
I was stupid. I should have run. I know that now, but at the time I thought I needed him. I thought he loved me. He always told me that no one would ever love me the way he did and I stupidly believed him.
I was pregnant and scared. I didn't know what else to do. A couple of days later, after begging repeatedly for my forgiveness, he suggested we get married. I thought I had to. I was eighteen and pregnant, I didn't know what else to do.
I thought it'd get better; that once he knew I was his he wouldn't worry so much. God was I wrong. Everything got worse. He started hiding my phone to keep me from talking to Cameron. He was paranoid and would disable my car when he was at work to keep me from leaving the apartment.
I couldn't do anything right. I'd spend all day cleaning and he'd find the one thing I hadn't gotten to and yell at me. If he came home early and I didn't psychically know to have dinner ready, he'd slam doors or throw things.
Four months into the marriage my pregnancy hormones kicked in. I was easily irritated, and instead of cowering during one of his tirades I mouthed off. That was the first time he slapped me.
It was like a dam broke after that, and instead of using his hands on the furniture he used them on me. I couldn't bring a baby into that nightmare. I started to hate my baby and hate myself for feeling that way. If I weren't pregnant I would have run.
Cameron got sick of not being able to get a hold of me and stopped by one day after John left for work. He saw a fading bruise on my arm when I forgot about it and rolled up my sleeve. It was in the shape of fingers, obviously not an accident.
He demanded I leave with him. I nodded. I couldn't stay. I knew that much. I went into my room and quickly threw as much of my stuff in a bag that I could grab.
I froze when I heard the front door slam against the wall. I dropped the bag on the floor. John's eyes dropped and he noticed the bag. Cameron had gone out to his car to carry the first bag I'd packed. I was alone with John and he was pissed.
He threw me against the wall and I fell hard hitting my stomach on the arm of the couch on my way down. I felt something tear in my belly and hot searing pain spread across my back and around the front.
Unfortunately that was when Cameron returned, unaware that John had come home. John grabbed a bat and swung it at Cameron, hitting him in the head. He continued to swing, and the sounds of wood hitting flesh filled my ears. John kept yelling "faggot" every time he swung the bat. I'd known for a while that Cam was gay, and it had never once bothered me. I realized that not only was John an abuser, but he was also a bigot.
I tried to crawl to wear he lay and protect him, but I felt wetness between my legs and I realized I was bleeding. All I could do was curl into a ball. My brother was being beaten to death, my baby was dying inside of me, and I was useless to both of them.
Suddenly the bat was out of John's hand and he was slammed up against the wall by our neighbor. The man that lived in the apartment above ours pressed his forearm into John's neck. It was then that I realized John was a coward. I wasn't anywhere near his size and he had to use a bat to fight Cameron. When faced with someone a tiny bit bigger than himself he practically burst into tears. I didn't feel sorry for him anymore.
"I don't give a shit who your family is. You lift a finger to this girl or any other again and I'll make you eat that bat," the man threatened John. He glanced down at me and shook his head sadly. "I'm sorry I didn't step in before. I...I...well fuck, I don't have a good reason. I called an ambulance. Please just hang in there."
"My brother," I managed to whisper.
He moved over to Cameron and felt for a pulse. "He's alive, but his pulse is weak," he warned.
"He'll make it. He has to," I mumbled before I passed out.
My mom had a friend that lived several hours away in St. Louis. She helped me get a restraining order against John and he spent a few weeks in jail. But it was a small town and John's family was well connected. He managed to get probation and a few weeks of anger management classes.
I didn't trust him to stay away, restraining order or not, so when Cameron was stable enough I had him transferred to a better hospital in St. Louis. It wasn't far enough, but I hoped we'd be able to disappear in the city. I hired a lawyer to draw up divorce papers and serve them to John.
He refused to sign, so after a few months the divorce went into effect without his signature. Cameron and I stayed in St. Louis while I waited for my divorce to be final. It wasn't long before I started getting weird packages. First it was flowers, then it was hateful notes, finally I found my car vandalized.
I saw John following me to the hospital one day. I told Cameron about it, and he immediately checked himself out against the doctor's advice. We went to Florida, but soon the "gifts" began again. This time I got dead flowers and the notes were death threats.
We went to New York from Florida, there were so many people in the city we thought we could hide in plain sight, but John found us after only a couple of months. We tried the Deep South after that. We refrained from using credit cards, but the notes came again.
Cameron read somewhere that if you could prove abuse you could legally change your name and seal the record. Before we left the south, I provided them with the restraining orders, notes, hospital records, everything I could think of to show them I needed to seal my name change.
We both chose our parents' middle names and my mother's birth name, since all of her legal records were under the last name of the last foster family she grew up in. John never knew much about my parents, and we decided it was safe enough to use their names. It was important to us that we didn't completely sever our connection to our family. It was the best compromise we could come up with to hold on to our parents, even a little bit.
We stopped a few places on the way out of the south, but nothing felt like home until we came to Washington. I've felt safe here until that doll showed up on my porch.
Finally I risked looking up at Reed. "That isn't true. I didn't feel safe, exactly. I felt like I was well hidden. I hadn't felt safe for years, and then last night you held me and I felt peace."
Chapter 18
Reed
Kate's secrets didn't just break my heart; they fucking crushed it. I'd experienced pain
in my life. When my dad died young from a brain tumor, life as I knew it was over. My mom never told me to be the man of the house, but there was a void in his absence I needed to fill. I needed to look after the ones that I loved.
When I went into the army I excelled at leadership and promoted quickly. I looked after the men and women under me. A few months after my unit deployed to Iraq, I took a bullet trying to save a young private caught out in the open. After a year of rehabilitation, and performing every bullshit task they assigned me away from my unit, it was clear I was never going to return to them. I accepted the medical discharge and returned home.
I was lost for a long time when I first returned to Ellensburg. My brother and sister had both grown up and didn't need me anymore. I, however, had a need to take care of people. Law enforcement called to me and I found another way to fill the void inside of me. I finished a degree in law and justice and joined the force.
Then I met Aiden and Becca and I did everything I could to protect them from the people out to manipulate Aiden to gain access to his trust fund. Two gun shot wounds later, and I can honestly say I would do it exactly the same way again. But there was no bullet to take for Kate. I couldn't step in and save her from a past that still haunted her.
"You think John has found you again, don't you?" I asked, trying to mask the anger I felt. Kate shrugged and looked back at her hands. "I can't think of another explanation." She looked up at me hesitantly. I saw trust and fear in her dark eyes. I never wanted her to look at me with fear and I would do whatever I could to make sure she never had anything else to fear again.
"I understand if this is too much. I can tell you weren't expecting what I told you by the tightness of your jaw. I can go. Cameron and I can disappear again. My nightmare doesn't have to be yours."
I couldn't resist touching her any longer. The idea of her leaving and never seeing her again chilled me to the core. I finally understood why Aiden hovered over Becca. Losing Kate was the only thing that could break me.
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