Kissing the Player (The Dangers of Dating a Diva Book 1)

by Maggie Dallen

  I sighed, my head tipping back as I shook my head in exasperation. “How many times do I have to tell you. She won’t get hurt. Rose can’t get hurt. She’d need to have feelings to get hurt.”

  She smacked my arm. Hard. “First of all, I wasn’t talking about her. And second—” She smacked me again. “Are you really that dumb that you think just because you can’t see something it doesn’t exist?”

  I stared at her in confusion. “You’re worried about me getting hurt?” I latched onto that first part because…seriously? What did she think? That I’d go and lose my heart to that shallow flake?

  I might have been an idiot when I was a sophomore, but my eyes were wide open now. She couldn’t hurt me.

  “You seem to forget,” she said. “I was there the last time she walked away from you, remember?”

  I stared at her. “I remember. But I wish you’d forget. Things are different now. And besides, I was going to dump her, too, she just beat me to it.”

  “Yeah, whatever,” she muttered.

  I started to walk away but she clung to my side as I followed the trail into the woods. “If you’re not worried about yourself, then think about her. You are not this guy.”

  “Aren’t I?” I stopped to glare at her. “Why not? Why are you so sure I’m a good guy?”

  “Because I know you!” She stomped her foot, looking like the little kid I remembered. The one who’d welcomed me into her family and her house when she heard the fighting coming from my house. “You’re not a bad guy, even if you want to tell yourself that you’re all tough and untouchable.”

  I rolled my eyes, but she was on a roll.

  “And even if you were such a tough guy, I don’t think Rose is as tough as you think. She’s not heartless and she’s not shallow.”

  I stared at her for a long moment. “And you know this…how?”

  She shrugged. “I just do. I think there’s more to her than you realize.”

  I scoffed as I shoved my hands into my pockets. “Oh yeah, I’m sure she’s real deep.”

  “Everybody has their stuff, Jax. Everyone has thoughts and feelings and a whole world going on inside them. Some people just hide it better than others.”

  I couldn’t quite meet her eyes, so earnest and caring—so I scanned the trees for any sign of my so-called date. There were people moving about, couples most likely, off to find a quiet spot to hook up. But no sign of Rose.

  “Just think about it, okay?” Simone said. “Don’t hurt someone for the sake of some stereo equipment. You’re better than that.”

  That had me staring at my friend again. “Would you relax? I’m not going to hurt anyone. Everyone knows that Rose is too self-absorbed and vain to get hurt by a guy.”

  “Right,” Simone said with a sniff. “Just like everyone knows I’m just your tagalong nerdy best friend who has no sense of fun and no sense of humor.”

  My mouth fell open in protective anger. “Who said that about you?”

  She planted her hands on her hips with a scowl. “I know what people say about me, okay? You can try to protect me all you want, but no one gets why you’re even my friend, let alone why a loser like me was even invited to a party like this.”

  “Simone, that’s not…no one thinks…you are not a loser.” I found myself sputtering to come up with a good defense and in return she just rolled her eyes and waved away my attempts to console her.

  “Whatever. It’s what everyone thinks. Just like everyone thinks that Rose is too into herself to care what people say…” She eyed me meaningfully. “Or do.”

  I sighed as I ran a hand through my hair. “Fine. Point taken.”

  Her whole body seemed to slacken as the intensity drained out of her, replaced once more by her normal laid-back ease. “So, you’ll do it?”

  There was definitely a gloating tone to her voice.

  “Do what?” I asked warily.

  She smacked my arm. “You’ll try to get to know her before you do something too stupid to take back.”

  “What do you want me to do?” I asked. “Eavesdrop on her next therapy session? Read her diary?”

  “Just talk to her,” Simone said.

  I rolled my eyes. “I’ve been talking to her,” I said, gesturing to the spot by the fire where Rose and I had been hanging out for the last hour.

  “From the looks of it, you were talking,” she said pointedly. “But what did you learn about her?”

  I opened my mouth to protest but shut it as a rush of embarrassment swept over me before I could stop it. Crap. She had a point. Rose had kept turning the conversation back to me, and I’d been all too happy to be the center of her attention.

  “Fine,” I snapped, already turning away. “I’ll try to get to know the vast depths that make up Rose Parson.”

  Simone ignored my sarcasm. “Good. Then I’ll leave you to it.”

  She disappeared and I was back to wandering the woods in search of my date. Nope. Nothing humiliating about this. Nothing at all.

  Freakin’ Rose.

  I heard her voice before I caught sight of her. She was closer to the house then I’d thought, and I only heard her when I’d started to head back to the party.

  “I heard you the first time,” she hissed.

  I froze at the tone of her voice. I’d never once heard her like this, so…unpleasant. So…unhappy. So…emotional.

  “I said fine,” she snapped, her voice a little too high.

  Yup. There is was. There was no denying it. She sounded like she was on the verge of tears.

  “I don’t need the details, thanks. I got it. You want me out of the house, I’m gone. I won’t come home tonight.”

  I stopped again, but this time I was close enough to see her. She was leaning against a tree trunk again, but this time she wasn’t posing. She was slumped over, one hand covering her eyes as she said something softly that I didn’t catch.

  My heart lurched at the sight of her like this. So…human. Fragile. Vulnerable.

  Crap.

  When my heart started up again, it was racing too fast and Simone’s voice was loud in my head, phrases jumbled but the meaning clear. Everyone has their stuff…she’s not as tough as you think… Don’t hurt someone for the sake of stereo equipment….

  Freakin’…crap.

  “Don’t worry about it.” Rose’s voice was a little louder as she straightened and for a half second I thought she was talking to me.

  Holy freakin’ crap.

  Was Simone right?

  Was I wrong?

  But Rose didn’t see me. She looked off in the direction of the party. “Yeah. Fine. See you in the morning.” She took her phone away from her ear and I realized I had to move. I had to say something. I couldn’t keep standing there like a creeper in the shadows…

  But then it happened.

  She…cried.

  At least, I was pretty sure she was crying. She covered her face with her hands and her shoulders moved, a little sound escaped…

  And I was a statue.

  I was a freakin’ deer in headlights.

  I was a statue of Bambi in oncoming traffic.

  Then two things seemed to happen at once. She sniffed and straightened, and I moved. I wasn’t even sure what I’d been intending to do, but I couldn’t just stand there and watch a girl cry.

  Not any girl.

  But especially not this girl.

  My heart felt like it was taking a beating at the sight of Rose crying.

  I froze again when she looked my way.

  I couldn’t see her eyes in the darkness, but I could see her body tense. “Who’s there?” She leaned forward at the same time I took another step toward her. “Oh, it’s you.” Her exhale wasn’t exactly a sigh of delight.

  I stilled again. I wasn’t sure ‘Oh, it’s you’ could ever really sound like a warm welcome, and in this particular instance there was no denying the fact that she was…not pleased to see me.

  “Are you, uh…you okay?”


  She made a little noise of disdain as she turned back toward the party again. “Yeah, fine. I’m great. I’ll see ya later.”

  “Rose, wait.”

  She stopped.

  She waited.

  And I…had no idea what to say.

  11

  Rose

  I was so not in the mood for this.

  I hadn’t been in the mood to play the role of fun, flirty Rose all night, and now?

  I lifted a hand to my temple without thinking.

  Now I just couldn’t.

  Besides, the poor schmuck looked shell-shocked at the sight of me crying. To be fair, I hadn’t been crying for real. It wasn’t like some sob-fest over here. I’d just given into a momentary need for physical relief. It was an expunging of tension, that was all.

  I was over it now.

  I was fine.

  Totally fine.

  Or at least, I would be once I found Hannah and told her I needed a ride home. And oh yeah…a place to crash.

  “Where are you going?” Jax called after me as I turned to go when he’d failed to speak.

  Really, did he expect me to wait around all night for him to form a coherent sentence? Nope. No way. Besides, I was sick of hearing him speak. I’d played him like a banjo for the better part of the night, and I should have been reveling in my success…

  But I wasn’t.

  The thrill of being the better actor had died a quick and merciless death after I’d heard him and Simone talking.

  I knew he didn’t have much respect for me, but…no heart? Really?

  That was a little harsh, no?

  Just like that I’d realized that Hannah had been right. As usual. My practical, no-drama friend had been so right. I was never going to win this game he was playing. It was a race to see who could hurt who more. Who could get less hurt.

  It was a stupid, petty game.

  And he called me shallow. I’m the self-absorbed one? Did he know how hilarious that was to hear after he’d basically performed a one-man show tonight telling me about his band?

  Ugh.

  Men.

  “Rose, where are you going?” He was by my side now as I trampled through leaves and underbrush. His hand on my arm made me pause. “Are you okay?”

  I shouldn’t have looked up.

  Without heels, he was a little taller than me, and right now he was hovering. He was arching a bit so he formed this wall between me and the rest of the world. He was all I could see when I looked in his direction and his eyes…

  That was the real killer.

  The look in his eyes. Concern. Warmth. Affection.

  Like he cared.

  Like he actually cared.

  I ripped my arm away from him with more force than necessary. It wasn’t like he was holding me back or gripping me hard. I just couldn’t bear to have him touching me right now.

  And there was no way I could go back to pretending, either. Not right now. Not after fighting with my mom, and not after the things I’d heard him say when I’d been taking a moment for myself before returning my mom’s call.

  I was done.

  This was over.

  He just didn’t know it yet.

  “Get lost, Jax. I’m out of here.”

  “Do you need a ride?” he asked.

  “Yes. Which is why I’m going to go find my friend.” Why was I even explaining myself to this guy? I should have just called him out on his bet, put him in his place, and left him in my dust.

  I would have if I’d had the energy. If my head wasn’t currently pounding out a bongo beat for the ages.

  “You mean Hannah and her boyfriend?” he asked. Something in his tone…

  I stopped. “Yeah. Why?”

  “They left,” he said. “I saw them leave a while ago while we were talking.”

  “While you were talking,” I muttered.

  “Excuse me?”

  Even as I’d said it, I was taking my phone out again and…yup. Sure enough. Hannah had texted that they were leaving. Giving me one last shot to grab a ride back. But I’d told her I was fine. I’d said I’d find another ride. I’d been so caught up in my stupid game with Jax, I’d missed my best shot at a quick getaway.

  “I can give you a ride,” he said.

  I kicked at the dirt with my mom’s never-before-worn hiking boots. They were stylish, all right, but they hurt like hell since they’d never been broken in. “I’ll find another way home,” I said.

  “Do you need a place to crash?” His words stopped me again and I closed my eyes against a wave of humiliation.

  If there’d been any doubt about how much he’d heard…that just cleared it up. I whipped around quickly. “Why? Are you offering?”

  My tone was snide and rude and…I didn’t care.

  Game over.

  Rose out.

  His eyes widened in surprise for a second. “Uh…yeah. I guess. I mean, if you need a place to crash…”

  I’d never seen the laid-back, suave, too-cool-for-school Jax so off his game. He sounded flustered. It would have been hilarious if, you know…it was funny. But since I was currently wading through a swamp of humiliation?

  Not so funny.

  “Yeah, well, thanks, but I’ll find a place.” I started to turn. “Despite what you might think, I’m not that easy.”

  “Hey.” He shifted so he was in front of me, blocking my path. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant…you can have my bed. I could take the couch.” He held his hands up and it was genuine indignation in his eyes when he added, “Despite what you might think, I’m not that much of a jerk.”

  I gave a huff of rueful amusement. No, not that much of a jerk that he’d take advantage of a girl who had no place to go.

  Just enough of a jerk that he’d make me fall for him to make a quick buck.

  Not that much of a jerk, though. I rolled my eyes and turned back to the party.

  “You know how Simone and I came to be friends?” he asked suddenly.

  I stopped walking. Okay, now that I had not been expecting.

  Curiosity battled with annoyance and my need to get out of here. I turned back and crossed my arms. “How?”

  He moved closer and I found myself backing up, right into a tree. “My parents fight. A lot.”

  I blinked. Well…huh. What was I supposed to say to that?

  He didn’t sound upset, just stating the facts.

  “So?” I said.

  “So, Simone used to hear it and she offered me her house. Her dad’s cool like that. So, what I’m trying to say is…I’m not making a move or whatever. I just know what it’s like to need a place to stay. No questions asked.”

  I stared at him for a long moment because for a second there, I’d seen it. Not pity, thank goodness, but understanding and…sympathy.

  That glimmer of kindness was enough to make my throat thicken with emotion.

  Which meant it was high time I got out of here. I was in no state to be playing his games.

  I was way too raw, much too vulnerable.

  Tonight, there was no way I’d win.

  “Come on,” he said, shifting toward me, his voice horrifyingly gentle. “You look like maybe you had too much to drink.”

  “I don’t drink.”

  He paused as if that shocked him. Surprise! I’m a good actress, remember? I hated alcohol but I knew how to act like the life of the party. I was better at acting all giggly and tipsy than any drunk girl would ever be.

  Was this a talent to be proud of?

  Heck yeah.

  I was an actress, and a dang good one at that. I tipped my chin up, summoning up some pride in the midst of this epic embarrassment. “And I don’t take rides from people who’ve been drinking.”

  His lips quirked up in a smile I couldn’t read. “I don’t drink, either.”

  I blinked. He’d had a drink in his hand when I’d shown up…

  He seemed to be reading my thoughts. “The drink you stole out of my hand was a c
lub soda. I figured you were too drunk to notice you weren’t drinking beer, but now…” He eyed me oddly. “I guess you weren’t drinking at all, huh?”

  I leaned in a little and lowered my voice like I was telling him a secret. “You are super observant. Has anyone ever told you that?”

  He let out a choked laugh of surprise at the sarcasm. “Let’s go,” he said, nodding in the direction of the long driveway where all the cars were parked.

  I hesitated. I so did not want to make the long drive back to town alone with this guy. But the other option…

  I looked toward the party where the music was getting louder along with the voices and the laughter. I winced at the mere thought of going back into the fray.

  “Come on,” he said again, a hint of amusement warming his voice. “I promise I don’t bite.”

  “Don’t you need to give someone else a ride?” I prayed he couldn’t hear the note of desperation that had slipped through. I couldn’t do a battle of wits right now. I couldn’t pretend.

  Please don’t make me drive alone with this guy.

  “Didn’t you come here with someone?” I asked.

  He shot me a sidelong look. “I came here with you, remember? You were my date…or so I thought.” His confusion was totally feigned. He was so not a good actor. “Weren’t we supposed to be here together?”

  He knew as well as I did that I hadn’t considered this a date. He might have been fooled before, but I’d shown my cards back there in the woods.

  Which was fine. I was done with acting.

  Hannah’s advice was hitting home. He couldn’t win if I didn’t play. I might not get revenge, but he wouldn’t get his payday so…that was something.

  He was waiting for a response so I shot him a glare. “You know what I meant.”

  His short laugh held no amusement, just disdain. “Yeah, I knew what you meant. I gave Simone a ride here but she’s sleeping over at one of her friend’s houses tonight so…” He held his arms out wide. “I’m all yours.”

  “Lucky me.” I muttered it under my breath, but I knew he’d heard me.

  12

  Two Years Ago: The Beginning of the End

  Rose

  A wad of condoms landed on my vanity as I finished getting ready for tonight’s date with Jax. I stared at them in horror, mainly because of who’d just tossed them my way. “What’s this?”