Kissing the Player (The Dangers of Dating a Diva Book 1)
Page 13
“And you’re just in time,” she said, turning away with a swish of her hips. “We could use someone to help with the signs. Simone will be happy to have an extra set of hands.”
“No, wait.” I didn’t even mean to reach out for her, but next thing I knew I was holding onto her hand and she froze with her back still to me.
Her shoulders looked tense and her head dipped down but before I could say anything she whipped around again and this time she wore a brilliant smile. “What’s up?”
She moved in close. Too close.
“I was hoping we could talk,” I said.
“So talk.” She was doing that coy thing—the thing she did where she tilted her head to the side and looked up at me through her lashes. My chest grew tight and my throat grew dry…
I was nervous.
I was freakin’ nervous and more than that—I was wary. I didn’t like seeing her like this.
This was an act. I knew that now. I got it.
And I hated it.
But the real problem was—I had no idea how to get past it. Her whole demeanor vibrated with an energy I couldn’t understand. Warning bells were going off in the back of my mind as she leaned in close. “Don’t tell me you’re trying to bail on the kissing booth,” she started.
“What? No. I—”
She tapped her fingers against my chest. “Because I know someone who’s really looking forward to kissing you.”
I blinked. Wait…what? Did that mean…? I felt my lips twitching up, ignoring those stupid alarm bells because…
She wanted to kiss me again.
“Oh yeah?” I’d dropped my voice and moved in closer, making her giggle.
“Of course,” she said, her voice all breathy and high. “I know for a fact that you’re an excellent kisser.”
I felt a surge of relief. “So you’re not…I mean, you’re not upset or…” Oh crap. Who could formulate a sentence when she was batting her lashes like that, her eyes all wide and adoring?
“Then we’ll have to do it again sometime,” I said.
Her eyes flashed with something I couldn’t quite pin down and then she was back to being the flirty seductress of my dreams. “Of course we will,” she murmured, her fingers moving lightly over my arms, across my chest. She winked. “I’ll be first in line at the booth. After all, it’s for a good cause.” She smiled playfully. “My acting career.”
I laughed because I knew she was kidding, but when she started to back away I couldn’t let her go. Not like this. We hadn’t resolved anything.
“No, Rose, I meant that I wanted to kiss you again because…” I cleared my throat. Ah hell, I’d never had so much trouble talking before. But I’d never had something so meaningful to say before either. “I had a lot of fun the other night.”
Her smile faltered a bit before she seemed to catch herself. “Me too.” Sarcasm edged her voice. “I just love fleeing a party because of family drama.”
“No, that’s not what I meant.”
She was purposefully misunderstanding. She wanted me to say it. I should say it. I cleared my throat again. “I meant, I liked spending time with you.” Just spit it out, loser. “I like you, Rose.”
She stared at me blankly for so long I wasn’t sure she’d heard me. But then she was back in action, moving so close I couldn’t breathe, her lips so close I could taste the sweetness of candy on her breath. “Really?” She cooed, her eyes so soft and sweet, her body so deliciously close, her hand reaching up—
She patted my cheek as her smile fell and the soft sweet pretty kitten disappeared, replaced by a cold, hard beauty who looked born for the spotlight. “And here I thought you just liked the idea of winning five hundred dollars.”
My mouth fell open as I reached for her, but she was too quick and she slipped out of my grip with a little wave over her shoulder. What the…
What had just happened?
Five hundred dollars. Her words registered a heartbeat too late and my stomach fell.
Oh.
Crap.
Oh freakin’ crap.
15
Rose
I didn’t see Jax leave, but I heard the auditorium door snap shut behind me as I reached Bianca. She apparently hadn’t noticed anything amiss and went right back to complaining about the lack of performances at the fundraiser.
“It’s a fair,” I reminded her for the tenth time. “You know, cotton candy, magic shows, and a dunk tank? Why would you be performing?”
She pointed behind me. “Because Jax’s band is performing. How come he gets to perform and I don’t? I should be singing.”
I stared at her for a long moment, spite overcoming reason. “You’re right. You absolutely should. Go find Jax and tell him you’re going to be performing on stage with him.”
Bianca brightened. “Really?”
I nodded. “Sure. Why not?” She had a decent singing voice, and sharing the stage with someone like Bianca would drive Jax insane, so yeah… Why not?
She ran off, presumably to catch Jax, and I breathed a sigh of relief. If Bianca kept him busy he couldn’t come back in here. He couldn’t try to resume that little ‘chat.’
And then maybe I wouldn’t cry.
I blinked now, hating the way the back of my throat ached and my eyes felt gritty and strained.
But I hadn’t cried. And I wouldn’t cry. Not now and not ever.
So he was a jerk? Big deal. I’d known that all along, hadn’t I?
I couldn’t even be angry at him. He was just being the player that he was. Everyone knew he used girls and left them without mercy. I’d heard Ashley Grant crying over him in the girls’ room just last week, and she wasn’t the only one.
But I wouldn’t be one of them. Nope. Not me.
“Are you okay?” Simone was beside me before I could blink away another wave of tears. It was self-pity, that’s all.
And divas didn’t do self-pity.
“Of course, I’m all right. I’m great. Perfect.” Or at least, I would be, just as soon as I found a monologue, mastered it, scored a scholarship one way or the other, and left this school and this town in my dust.
The thought was moderately heartening. One day in the not-too-distant future, Jax and his kisses, and his lies, and his great hands, and his low, sexy voice, and his musical talent, and his lies would all be out of my life for good.
“You don’t look great,” Simone said.
I scowled at her. “Thanks a lot.”
She tipped her head to the side. “Is it Jax? Did he do something?” She growled as she clenched her fists. “Ugh, I knew I should have told him to back off and—”
“It’s not Jax,” I said, a little too loudly. “I’m just worried about my monologue, that’s all. And don’t worry about him pursuing me. He won’t be doing that anymore.” I straightened to my full height. “I put an end to that.”
Later that night I got to work focusing on what really mattered, but it was easier said than done.
My mom was out with the new guy, thank goodness. We’d been at each other’s throats ever since she’d told me I wasn’t welcome in my own home. To be clear, it wasn’t the fact that she hadn’t wanted me that was the issue. It wasn’t like I wanted to be here while she and the new guy were getting all hot and heavy either. I mean, gross. Obviously not.
But she could have had the foresight to warn me before I’d left the house. That was the only thing that upset me. Her thoughtlessness and my inconvenience. It was her fault I’d been stuck driving home alone with a guy I detested when I was in pain and vulnerable.
Was it her fault you kissed him back?
I shushed the voice that had been nagging at me ever since that kiss. The voice that said I’d been more affected by that kiss than I wanted to admit. That maybe I’d been more hurt than I wanted to let on.
But that was different. Of course my pride was stinging after his stupid charade. And as for my mom…? I wasn’t hurt by my mom—she’d lost the ability to hurt me a
long time ago. And Jax had never had the ability in the first place, so…
See?
Nothing to be upset about.
I looked down at the stack of plays sitting in front of me that I’d checked out of the library. Nothing to worry about except, you know…my future. My dreams. The fact that I was thoroughly unprepared and if my fundraiser didn’t earn me points toward the community scholarship I was one hundred percent screwed, doomed to live with my mother and her new beau for the rest of my life.
I threw myself down on the bed with a sigh.
Melodramatic? Me?
Never.
I picked up a play and then tossed it to the side. I did the same to five more before finally rolling over and turning on my laptop. I pulled up the Diva Squad chat group.
Me: SOS
I waited impatiently until some dots blinked.
Lola: What up, diva?
She added a funny GIF of Barbra Streisand singing.
Me: I need monologue help.
Lola: What have you narrowed it down to?
I eyed the stack in front of me. Narrowing it down was the hard part. Picking the one perfect monologue that would land me the scholarship was the impossible dream. I picked up the top one, a musical I’d always loved.
Me: Val’s speech from A Chorus Line…
Lola: What’s your classic monologue?
Me: Rosalind’s monologue from As You Like It.
Silence. I tapped my foot as I waited, but when I got a response, it wasn’t from Lola.
Jenna: No. No way.
My eyes widened in shock and the diva brat from hell started typing again.
Jenna: If you’re doing a comedy for your classical, you need to choose a tragedy for your modern piece. Show them you’ve got range.
I didn’t know which was more alarming—the fact that Jenna had somehow hijacked our chat group or that…she was right.
Crap.
Lola: You know how much I hate to say this, but…I think Jenna might be right.
Jenna posted a GIF of a girl carrying a giant trophy over her head in triumph.
Ever humble, this one.
Jenna: I’m always right.
Me: Wait a second…what is Jenna even doing here?
A second later, my guilty conscience made me add: No offense, Jenna.
Jenna: Oh please. Like I even wanted to hang out with you losers online.
Lola: Then why haven’t you left?
Silence.
Huh. Jenna didn’t have a comeback for once.
Then Lola was typing again.
Lola: I invited her to join because a) you can’t really have a Diva Squad without the queen diva, right? and b) my father taught me to keep your enemies close.
She added a beaming angel emoji at the end that made me laugh.
Jenna: Back to business. Find a tragedy.
I frowned down at the stack.
Me: Streetcar Named Desire?
Lola: PERFECT.
Jenna: Yes. That’s the one. You rock a southern accent.
I blinked a few times in surprise. I mean, it was true. I made an amazing Southern belle when Jenna, Lola, and I had done a totally misguided, horrifically challenged regional production of Gone with the Wind.
We all agreed it would be best if no one got their hands on the footage of that one. Since Layne was the only person there who’d made any attempt to film it, I knew Lola had already ensured it would never see the light of day.
Me: I don’t know. Isn’t Blanche Du Bois way old? Isn’t that weird?
I didn’t even realize Lillian was hanging out online and reading our texts until she suddenly chimed in.
Lillian: You’re talking about the scene where she’s describing her tragic first love, right? She’s reminiscing about being a teen so you could play it like she’s gone back in time as she’s remembering. It’s kind of perfect.
Jenna: Of course it’s perfect. I suggested it.
I stared at the screen. Lillian had a point. It could be a unique take on an overdone monologue…
Me: Thanks, ladies. I think I have a plan.
I shut the laptop and opened the script, ready to start memorizing.
Except that I couldn’t because every time I got past the first sentence my mind would drift backwards to earlier in the day. My ability to focus was tortured mercilessly by the look on Jax’s face when I’d called him out on that challenge.
Good. He’d deserved it.
I turned back to the monologue and seconds later it was his voice that interrupted.
I like you.
I slammed the script shut in frustration. No, you don’t. That’s what I should have said.
You don’t even know me. I should have said that, too. I’d wanted to…but I couldn’t. Because for a little while there the other night, I’d gotten this feeling like maybe he did know me. Or maybe he could know me if I let him in.
But I didn’t, and I wouldn’t, and I couldn’t.
There was no room in my life for a guy like him. There wasn’t room for a guy, period. But there definitely wasn’t room for someone like him. Because he was dangerous. That’s why I’d ended it the first time around.
He’d be a distraction, for sure.
Worse, he might be a derailment altogether.
He was a guy who could get under my skin and into my heart and that…
That was not part of the plan.
I picked up the script and opened it. There was no way I’d get this close to my dreams—so close to Broadway and New York City I could taste it—and ruin it all because of a guy.
All I had to do was win.
I peered at the words on the page until they came into focus and willed myself to stop thinking about the one guy who could ruin everything.
The one guy who could make me fall.
16
Jax
I groaned and stuck my head under my pillow as Simone stormed into my room. “What did you do to her?”
“Who?” I mumbled.
Yeah, I played dumb. That was the best option. It was the only option, because there was no way I was about to tell Simone just how badly I’d screwed up.
Or that she’d been right and I’d been wrong.
There was only so much humiliation a guy could take in one day, and realizing that Rose had been playing me from the start?
That was all the embarrassment I could handle.
“Oh no you don’t,” Simone said. Her voice was right next to my head, and that was the only warning I got before the pillow was ripped away from me and a glare from the setting sun made me squint.
“Go away,” I moaned, reaching for the pillow but she held it out of reach.
“I told you to leave her alone,” Simone said.
I sighed as I flopped over onto my back, resigned to the fact that this was happening. I was going to get a lecture whether I participated in the conversation or not. “I know.”
“I told you that it was stupid.”
I threw an arm over my eyes. “I know.” My voice was muffled but I was pretty sure she’d heard me.
“I told you someone would get hurt!” She was shouting now, and I was glad my parents were in one of their good phases and out at a restaurant for date night. I so didn’t need their grilling me on why Simone and I were fighting.
They’d never understand.
Or maybe they would understand…but I was just too embarrassed to tell them the whole story. I mean, I’d bet that I could make a girl fall for me. That I could earn her trust and use it against her and…
Ugh.
I groaned into my sleeve. “Whatever you’re going to say next—I know. Trust me, I know.” I moved my arm away so I could peer up at her. “I hate myself right now, okay?”
She rolled her eyes and pushed my legs off the bed so she could sit beside me. “No. Not okay. You may have been the idiot of the century, but you shouldn’t hate yourself.” She paused and then added with a mutter. “I don’t hate you.”
She arched her brows. “With good reason.”
“Agreed,” I said with a sigh. “I really blew it. I should never have accepted that challenge.” I shook my head and stared up at the ceiling, Simone’s silence bringing up all the guilt I’d been attempting to ignore. “I didn’t know that Rose isn’t as shallow as she acts. I mean, how could I have known?”
Her continued silence made me feel like I was in a confessional, and the fact that I was staring up at the ceiling made it even easier to purge all these thoughts that were eating away at me. “Or maybe…” I swallowed. “Maybe I didn’t want to know that because it was easier to hate her. To write her off rather than deal with the fact that she didn’t like me back.” I shook my head as the reality of it hit me upside the head. “This stupid challenge was just my pride talking because I was still hurt that she’d dumped me like that.”
Simone mumbled something that sounded like, “Now he gets it,” as she patted my knee like I was a child.
A question that had been plaguing me for the past few hours surfaced again. “How do you think she found out?”
Before Simone could respond, I said, “I bet it was Ryan. He probably told Rose as soon as I agreed to it out of spite and to make sure I didn’t win. Or maybe it was his friend—”
“It was me.”
I stared at her. “What?”
She pressed her lips together in a stubborn scowl as she crossed her arms. “Don’t expect an apology. I did what I thought was right. If my best friend is going to mess with a girl for money, you’d better believe I’m going to warn her.”
I stared at her in shock until she squirmed. “What?” she snapped. “You might be my best friend, but—no, scratch that. Because you’re my best friend I didn’t want to see you do something you’d regret.”
I sighed because…she was right. Again. I had no high horse to stand on. I’d done a jerk move by taking Ryan’s bait. I’d been no better than him and all because I’d been jealous. Possessive. Hurt that she’d ever dumped me.
I groaned again as I ran a hand over my face. I was so messed up. How had I not realized how messed up I was?