Burning Sands
Page 18
CHAPTER XVIII--MAN AND WOMAN
On the following morning Daniel received a message from Lord Blairasking him to come into the study, and he presumed that the question ofhis relationship to Muriel was to be discussed, for in his present stateof upheaval he could hardly imagine that there was anything else in theworld to talk about. He was deeply troubled in his mind, for he feltthat this fever of love which had kept him awake half the night, andwhich hourly was growing more intense, was a menace to his happiness andto hers. A thousand times he had told himself that their two lives wereincompatible, and yet their unity was now to him the vital object of hisexistence. Nothing else seemed to matter.
Lord Blair received him with a whimsical smile, and waved him to a chairas though formally introducing him to it. "Sit down, my dear Daniel," hesaid. "I want to know if you can throw any light upon this extraordinaryletter which was delivered here this morning, by hand."
He held up a large pink envelope inscribed in green ink, and handed itacross the table; and, while Daniel examined it, he sat watching himbenevolently, the tips of his thin fingers pressed together.
The document was written in English, and the wandering handwriting wasnot unlike that of a child. The address upon the envelope was arrestingin its simplicity. "His Excel. The Lord's Deputy," it read.
"Frank Lestrange opened it," said Lord Blair; "for he presumed that the'Lord' referred to was myself and not the Almighty, and that the'Deputy' indicated a secretary. But the letter itself was an enigma tohim, and the enclosure a mystery."
He held up a carefully folded pocket-handkerchief which the envelope hadcontained, and Daniel glanced at it with sudden recognition.
The document was as follows:
Dear sir we are sorry one assassnated you yesterday because you came to us and we see you for the brave gentilman and the Egyptian rispect the Chivalry herewith please find and oblige
Your Wishwellers.
"Well?" asked Lord Blair.
Daniel burst out laughing. "Oh, what children they are!" he exclaimed."I think that if we all packed up and went home, and sent out half adozen schoolmasters in our place, the Egyptian question would besolved."
"Why?--what is the meaning of the letter?" asked his lordship.
"I'd much rather not tell you," Daniel replied.
"But I must insist," said Lord Blair. "I must indeed insist."
Daniel felt awkward: the story was so silly. "It was nothing much," heexplained. "A wretched boy came here yesterday to kill me, and in takinghis revolver away from him I unfortunately broke his wrist. So I made asling with my handkerchief and took him to the doctor. He was in greatpain, poor chap." He paused and reread the letter.
"Go on with the story," said Lord Blair. "'This is very serious, veryserious indeed."
"Oh, no, it's not," replied Daniel. "I guessed where he came from andtook him home, and had a talk to the whole gang of them. They were allvery young and very ardent. But there's nothing more to hear from themnow. Poor lads!--I think they were mighty glad the bullet went wide."
"D'you mean to say you bearded them in their den?"
"Yes; luckily I found them assembled at their dinner."
Lord Blair sat back in his chair and toyed with a paper-knife, whileDaniel gave him a few more details of the occurrence. There was acurious expression on his face as he listened, and his dark eyes seemedto be shining very brightly. When the brief tale was finished, he roseto his feet, and made a flitting expedition to the window; drummed onthe pane; and then, coming round in front of his friend, put his handsupon his broad shoulders.
"My dear fellow ..." he said, and hesitated. Then: "Dear me, dear me,Daniel." Suddenly he drew himself up, and, thrusting forward a stiffarm, grasped the other's hand and wrung it shyly but fiercely.
Daniel looked at him in surprise, for he appeared to be battling withsome powerful emotion; and, feeling that the situation no longerrequired his presence, he rose to go.
Lord Blair stopped him. "Wait," he said; "there is another matter aboutwhich I want to speak to you."
Daniel guessed what was coming, and waited with impatience for LordBlair to open the subject. It seemed to him that his relationship toMuriel was the only thing worth discussing. But the Great Man's thoughtswere still occupied with the tale which Daniel had unfolded, and forsome time he continued to ask questions and to make ejaculatorycomments.
At length, however, an awkward silence and some signs of nervousnessindicated that the all-important subject was about to be introduced; butLord Blair, as was his wont, circled round the outskirts of the matterfor some time, speaking of his advancing years and of a father's duty tohis only child.
Daniel was impatient to get to grips. "I take it," he said, interruptinghim, "that you want to ask me what my intentions are in regard to LadyMuriel."
Lord Blair smiled nervously. "Or shall we say," he suggested, "that Iwant to know what Muriel's intentions are in regard to you. I havenoticed the growing intimacy between you, and you will perhaps haveobserved that I have not discouraged it. But today, it is my duty totell you, I saw you ... er ... ahem ... I saw you kiss one another goodmorning."
Lord Blair, having thus delivered himself, sat back in his chair, hiseyes fixed upon the younger man.
"Yes, that's so," the latter replied; "and I wish to Heaven you'd tellme what is to be done about it. I am afraid I have got to tell you thatI love Muriel." He leant forward and knitted his brows. "I'm sunk," hegroaned, running his hand through his hair. "It's no good fightingagainst it any longer."
Lord Blair drummed his fingers on the table. "Dear me, dear me!" hemuttered. "And what does Muriel say about it?"
"I haven't asked her," Daniel replied. "I suppose she believes she caresfor me, too; but that's just the trouble: I've been wondering all nightwhether she knows her own mind. You see we are so totally unsuited toone another."
"What makes you say that?" Lord Blair asked, obviously pained.
Daniel shrugged his shoulders. "Well, I'm a serious-minded sort offellow, and Muriel seems to enjoy all this Society business which Idetest."
"She is young," was the reply.
"And then I'm a comparatively penniless nobody, and I've heard herdescribed as one of the most eligible young women in England."
"Tut, tut," Lord Blair ejaculated. "It is true that she will inheritwhatever I am able to leave; but an alliance between the Lanes and theBlairs does not seem to me to be open to criticism. After all, ourrespective names have figured side by side in many pages of Englishhistory."
Daniel did not wish to pursue this aspect of the matter. He wantedMuriel, but he wished her to be sure of her love before he bound her tohim by a formal engagement: this summed up his attitude in a singlesentence. He therefore discussed the question along these lines; but itwas apparent that he was labouring under great mental and emotionalstress. He begged Lord Blair not to influence his daughter in onedirection or the other, but to leave the solution of the problem in thehands of Providence.
"I just want her to feel," he explained, "that I am an intimate chum ofhers; and then if the thing carries us both off our feet, why we'll cometo you and say we want to get married. If not--well, I'm not going tobind her unless it's clear she is as head over ears in love with me as Iam now with her."
"You may lose her," said Lord Blair, shaking his head wisely.
"If that is going to be at any time likely," Daniel answered, "I wouldrather it happened now than after we are married."
When the interview was at an end Lord Blair sat for some time in deepthought. He was somewhat disappointed that Daniel was not moreimpetuous, and he saw no reason why Muriel should be treated with suchcareful consideration, lest she should make a mistake and suffer for itlater. He regarded his daughter as decidedly flighty, and, since she washis heiress, he wanted to see her married as soon as possible to the manof his choice, a man of strong will who would keep her well in hand: butthat, to his surprise, was just what the mighty Daniel seemeddisinclined
to do.
Lord Blair did not believe in a man pandering to the whims of the womanhe loved: his own experience had been too devastating for that. He wouldhave liked to have heard Daniel say to him: "Your daughter wantsmastering: I will take her in hand, and turn her into a dutiful wife anda God-fearing mother of your Blair-Lane grandsons." But instead of thishe had said in effect: "Since I shall always want her, if she wants meshe can have me when she wants;" and this seemed a poor policy,bordering on self-abnegation.
Muriel's own attitude was interesting. During this and the day followingshe waited breathlessly for a proposal of marriage, and when none wasforthcoming, she decided that she would give him one week and then loseher temper. But the week went by, and nothing happened, except thattheir intimacy grew and their eyes sought one another more frequently.
His work kept him very busy, but daily he found some moment in which hecould be alone with her; and at these times he put his arms about herand looked into her face with such tenderness in his eyes that she couldhave cried. He seemed to be searching her heart, to be trying to assurehimself of her love; and when he kissed her he appeared to restrain thepassion which she knew was consuming him.
Once he came so near to a definite offer of marriage that she held herbreath. Yet what he said was but this: "Life is short, and there is notime for a mistake. Think, Muriel, think!--You and I will soon have tomake a decision which cannot be altered. Think of all those things in mymethod of life which you don't like or don't understand. Because thechoice is close at hand."
And in her bedroom, in the darkness of the night, she had thought; buther thoughts had travelled in circles, leading her nowhere. Perhaps, shesaid to herself, he wished to hint that there were ugly aspects of hislife which she ought to take into consideration: perhaps he wasreferring to those Bedouin women who were said to have been hismistresses in the desert; or perhaps his frequent visits to the bazaarsand to native houses were not entirely dictated by the needs of hiswork. She knew that women of the poorer classes often came to see him atthe Residency; and the stories which had come to her ears of hisgoodness to widows and destitute paupers might have their origin in lessworthy circumstances than was supposed. It looked as though hisconscience were smiting him.
He had said to her: "The woman who loves me must give up much." Was hesuggesting, she wondered, that she should defy the conventions and flywith him into the desert? Perhaps he had no thought of marriage: he onlywanted her to ride beside him over the limitless wilderness, and tosleep with him under the stars. His words might be interpreted asmeaning that since one day they would grow tired of one another and hewould leave her to fish for herself, she ought to consider carefullywhether the adventure were worth while. But, no: that could hardly behis meaning, though his refraining from a definite proposal of marriagewas suspicious.
Another matter greatly puzzled her. He did not seem to be jealous of herfamiliarity with other men; and though during the last few days she hadrather enjoyed the novel experience of asking his permission, more orless, when she was going out on what she termed a "joy-ride," she hadobserved that he assumed no authority over her. He appeared to be quiteindifferent to her exits from, and interested only by her entries on to,the stage of life.
Daniel, as a matter of fact, was determined to eradicate all thosefierce feelings of jealousy which shamefully he was aware she hadaroused in him. The green-eyed monster was a prehistoric beast,unfitting the fair pastures of a philosopher's mind; and he would havenone of it. He believed passionately in freedom; and he was resolved toregard love not as a prison but as a sphere of unbounded liberty--forman and woman alike.
He was wroth with himself when he wished to break the heads of the youngmen who hovered around her. He had not believed himself capable of suchdisturbances; and his control was exerted to so much purpose that Murielmistook it for indifference.
Fortunately he was usually back in the solitude of his camp bymid-afternoon, and he did not have to watch Muriel setting out for heralmost nightly dinners, dances, or opera-parties; and when, next day,she used to relate her adventures, he would oblige himself to showamusement and interest, though only black unrest could have been foundin his heart. He was impatient for the time when she should grow wearyof her amusements, and thus show that her heart was full of sweeterinterest, but he had no wish to force her to leave all, as it were, andcome to him.
Muriel, on her part, was increasingly annoyed at his apparentindifference; and matters reached a crisis one afternoon at the end ofthe first week in January. An expedition to the ancient necropolis ofSakkara had been arranged, the party consisting of Muriel, Daniel, Mr.and Mrs. Bindane, and John Dregge, one of the younger Secretaries at theResidency. The Tombs of Sakkara stand at the edge of the desert, someten miles south of Mena House; and the excursion was made on horseback,servants having been sent on ahead to prepare tea at the littlerest-house in the necropolis.
During the outward journey Benifett Bindane rode close to Daniel,cross-questioning him in regard to the possibilities of agriculturaldevelopment in the Oases. He had decided to make a journey at the end ofFebruary through the great chain of these oases; and Lord Blair, who, ashas been said, was keenly interested in the project, had already begunto make arrangements for the expedition. Daniel was surprised to findthat Mr. Bindane had fully grasped all the essentials of the scheme,and, in spite of his lethargic appearance, seemed to be making himselfmaster of the facts.
The subject was very interesting to both men, and Kate Bindane, who rodewith them, put in some shrewd observations; but meanwhile Lady Murielwas left to ride ahead with John Dregge, and their two horses could beseen moving close abreast, while Muriel's laughter frequently floatedback to them with the suggestion that she was enjoying herselfthoroughly.
This, however, was not the fact. She did not like her companion, who wasa very proper young man with a sallow face, side whiskers in the Byronicstyle, a button of a mouth, and small, watchful eyes.
She was growing decidedly cross--"turning nasty" as they say; and thoughshe laughed loudly so that Daniel should hear, she made two or threeremarks to Mr. Dregge which were neither kind nor clever. The threeo'clock sun was extremely hot, the glare was intense, and her horse--aborrowed one--had an objectionable habit of ambling when she wished himto trot and of walking when she attempted to correct the amble.
When at last their destination was reached, and all five of them weretogether again, she would not so much as look in Daniel's direction. Teawas served at a tressel-table on the veranda of the rest-house, anisland of cool shadow in the golden sea of sand; but Muriel enjoyedneither the meal nor the view. Nor did she give any great attention tothe beauties of the sculptured tombs and mausoleum which theysubsequently visited; and she felt only impatience when Daniel spokewith enthusiasm of the grace of the ancient figures.
"We haven't advanced much in these thousands of years, have we?" he saidto her.
"No," she answered, "and judging by the progress made in the last tendays, it'll be many thousands of years more before anything happens."
Daniel glanced quickly at her, with an inward chuckle, but she turnedfrom him with her head in the air.
The return journey was begun some time after the sun had set, andcomplete darkness descended upon them while they were still two or threemiles from the hotel. Daniel now rode beside Muriel; and the othershaving pushed ahead, they presently found themselves completely alone,moving through the indigo of the night like two phantom riders wanderingover the uninhabited plains of the moon.
The air was cold, and sharp; and the stars gleamed overhead, sonumberless, so vivid, that the tremendous sky was densely spangled andjewelled, in brilliance unknown to the western eye. It is only in clear,dry air such as this that one actually sees the heavens as a vault, aninverted bowl of deep royal blue, with the Milky Way arched across likea vaporous white rainbow, and the greater stars and planets standing outin bold patterns amidst the glittering atoms powdered over the wholeamazing area.
The pa
thway was obscure, and Daniel had to guide himself by the greatPyramids which were silhouetted on the horizon against the stars; butriding became altogether dangerous while yet there was over a mile togo, and he proposed that they should dismount and lead their stumblinghorses.
Muriel followed his lead without protest; and Daniel, taking hold of herarm with one hand, and leading the horses with the other, piloted herslowly over the rough ground. He was very tenderly solicitous, anxiouslyenquiring whether she were cold or tired; and she, stirred by the marvelof the night, very largely forgot her anger. This trudging through theintense darkness was having an extraordinary effect upon her mind: shebegan to feel that her safety, indeed her very existence, depended uponthe giant of the desert who held her arm so firmly.
"I'm glad you're with me," she said to him. "I should be frightened withanybody else."
"Frightened?" he asked. "But don't you feel, as I do, that the desert atnight is protective? Down there in the inhabited lands there are robbersand murderers of body or mind; but up here I'm in my own kingdom: I gowherever I like, do whatever I like, and there's nobody to disturb meand nobody I disturb except a shy little jackal or two."
Presently Muriel paused. "Wait a minute," she said. "My boot has gotsome sand in it."
She sat down upon the ground and pulled it off; while Daniel, being inno hurry to return to the world, tethered the horses by rolling a smallboulder on to the trailing ends of the reins. This done, he came to her,and, sitting beside her, helped her to put on the boot once more.
She was tired physically, and tired also of being angry. The astonishingsolitude caused her heart, as it were, to go to him for companionship.Here in this tremendous silence, in this enveloping obscurity, sheseemed to belong to him, to be his property.
He put his arms about her. "Why have you been so unfriendly to metoday?" he asked, reproachfully.
She leaned her head back, and her hand went up around his neck. "BecauseI love you, Daniel," she whispered.
She drew him down to her. At that moment she had no morals: she hadshaken the conventions from her like so many pieces of useless armour.Her education had ever taught her to put small value upon such methodsof protection; and now, with a mental shrug, they fell wholly from her.She wished only to be his, body and soul: here couched in the lap ofthis great Mother Earth, and in the presence of the starry host ofheaven.
For a moment Daniel held her tightly within his arms; and the tempest ofhis passion carried him forward to the brink of heedless disaster. Butmentally, as well as physically, he was a mighty man; and now hisphilosophic training in control did not fail him.
Roughly he threw her arms from him, and, rising to his feet, gripped herwrist. "Get up," he commanded her. "For God's sake get up!"
He dragged her up to him, and his fingers must have left bruises uponher arm.
"O Daniel," she murmured, and in her abandonment there was almostlaughter in her words, and almost tears. "I'm yours--yours to do whatyou like with. You can put me in your harim if you want to."
He turned from her, and fetched the horses. "Fool, fool!" said his bodyto his mind. "Again, misunderstanding the meaning of life, you haverobbed me." "Be silent, rebel," said his mind to his body. "Give me timeto see if her passion be love." "Is there any difference?" sneered hisbody; and his mind replied, "Had I not thought so, you should have hadyour way."