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Paper Sons and Daughters

Page 1

by Ufrieda Ho




  PaPer

  Ph

  a

  asw D

  an

  SonS and

  e Mp

  e

  frieu

  o

  DaughterS

  Welcome t

  o

  h

  our

  growing uP

  Hillbro

  chineSe in

  South

  africa

  W

  a memoir

  OHIO

  Paper Sons and Daughters

  MODERN

  African

  Writing

  from Ohio University Press

  This series brings the best African writing to an international audience. These ground-

  breaking novels, memoirs, and other literary works showcase the most talented writers

  of the African continent. The series also features works of significant historical and

  literary value translated into English for the first time. Moderately priced, the books

  chosen for the series are well crafted, original, and ideally suited for African studies

  classes, world literature classes, or any reader looking for compelling voices of diverse

  African perspectives.

  Welcome to Our Hillbrow: A Novel of Postapartheid South Africa

  by Phaswane Mpe

  ISBN: 978-0-8214-1962-5

  Dog Eat Dog: A Novel

  by Niq Mhlongo

  ISBN: 978-0-8214-1994-6

  After Tears: A Novel

  by Niq Mhlongo

  ISBN: 978-0-8214-1984-7

  From Sleep Unbound

  Andrée Chedid

  ISBN: 978-0-8040-0837-2

  On Black Sisters Street: A Novel

  Chika Unigwe

  ISBN: 978-0-8214-1992-2

  Paper Sons and Daughters: Growing Up Chinese in South Africa

  Ufrieda Ho

  ISBN: 978-0-8214-2020-1

  The Conscript: A Novel of Libya’s Anticolonial War

  Gebreyesus Hailu

  ISBN: 978-0-8214-2023-2

  Paper Sons

  and Daughters

  Growing up Chinese in South Africa

  Ufrieda Ho

  O H I O U N I V E R S I T Y P R E S S

  A T H E N S

  Ohio University Press, Athens, Ohio 45701

  www.ohioswallow.com

  All rights reserved

  © 2011 Ufrieda Ho

  First published in 2011 by Picador Africa

  An imprint of Pan Macmillan South Africa

  Private Bag X19, Northlands

  Johannesburg, 2116

  To obtain permission to quote, reprint, or otherwise reproduce or distribute

  material from Ohio University Press publications, please contact our rights

  and permissions department at (740) 593-1154 or (740) 593-4536 (fax).

  First published in North America in 2012 by Ohio University Press

  Printed in the United States of America

  Ohio University Press books are printed on acid-free paper ƒ ™

  20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 5 4 3 2 1

  Library of Congress Cataloguing-in-Publication Data

  Ho, Ufrieda.

  Paper sons and daughters : growing up Chinese in South Africa / Ufrieda

  Ho.

  p. cm. — (Modern African writing)

  Originally published: Johannesburg, South Africa : Picador Africa, 2011.

  ISBN 978-0-8214-2020-1 (pbk. : acid-free paper) — ISBN 978-0-8214-

  4444-3 (electronic)

  1. Ho, Ufrieda. 2. Ho, Ufrieda—Family. 3. Chinese—South Africa—

  Biography. 4. Chinese—South Africa—Ethnic identity. 5. Chinese—South

  Africa—History. 6. South Africa—Race relations. 7. South Africa—

  Biography. I. Title.

  DT1768.C55H6 2012

  305.895’1068092—dc23

  [B]

  2012020804

  Contents

  Acknowledgements

  vii

  1. Pinky

  1

  2. Here be Dragons

  3

  3. A Long Way from Here

  21

  4. A Strange New Home

  38

  5. Another Journey across the Indian Ocean

  46

  6. In the City of Gold

  63

  7. Of Phoenixes and Dragons

  81

  8. Growing up with Mr and Mrs Ho

  91

  9. Johnny Depp, Segregation and Sequins

  107

  10. My Father, the Fahfee Man

  125

  11. Weekend Dad

  137

  12. Another Day, Another Dollar

  148

  13. Mah Jong and Ponies

  158

  14. The Outside Toilet

  167

  15. The Hand that History Deals

  175

  16. The Dark Night

  195

  17. A New Day

  208

  18. The Under-catered Party

  214

  Dear Ah Ba

  226

  For my mother and my father

  Acknowledgements

  There’s an exquisite alchemy in how this book became real. My deepest

  gratitude goes to the people and mysterious synchronicities that offered up

  their magic to the process.

  I have been privileged to be a custodian of the stories that have been

  passed to me from my grandparents, parents and my relatives. I am grateful

  to the many people in my community, the Ah Buks and Ah Mous and

  others, who have shared their anecdotes, narratives, reflections and insights

  through the years. I acknowledge with respect the academics, authors and

  researchers whose work has given voice to the Chinese community and

  has given me the courage to free my voice for this story.

  Thanks and love to my friends (you are too numerous to mention by

  name but you know who you are) and those who have taken an authentic

  interest; you are my blessing and have held this book with gentle hands.

  Maureen Isaacson was a champion of this book when it was only a few

  thousand words on newsprint as my journalism project for the Anthony

  Sampson Foundation Award. A thousand thank-yous for believing and for

  not letting me get away from penning a formal book proposal.

  vii

  To the Pan Macmillan team, thank you for keeping me going and getting

  the nuts and bolts in place with such good humour. Sally Hines, thanks

  for being a kind wizard of an editor. To Andrea Nattrass, who survived

  my multi-coloured versions and drafts, you’ve pushed at the right times

  and have been a pillar to lean on at other times; always you’ve encouraged

  me and shown sensitivity to this story. You are a true professional, thank

  you.

  My thanks to Anfasa for their generous author’s grant and support for

  a book about a minority community in South Africa.

  Shaun, thank you for loving me through this book, listening to confused

  thinking out loud, my long ramblings, my rages, even the tears, and always

  urging me on because you know this is a project of my heart.

  To Ma, Yolanda, Kelvin, Unisda, Jo-Anne, Alexandra and Jordan, you

  have shared so much of this journey. We walk on, joined by our bond of

  blood, kin and love.

  viii

  1

  Pinky

  I l
ie on the lap of a giant pink teddy bear and stare up at a galaxy of full

  stops in the perforated canopy of my dad’s old Cortina.

  My nine-year-old self starts to count the dots but my stop-start

  conversation with my dad in the driver’s seat keeps bringing me back to

  number one. We lurch towards another traffi c light and my counting is

  distracted again as I grip on to the Cortina’s fake leather seats with their

  exhausted stitching that has long ago surrendered to outbursts of foam.

  I work through the dots again. I do not mind because my father is in

  a good mood, so I am in a good mood. Dad is happy and Pinky is the

  trophy to prove it. We have bought her at a roadside stall along with two

  smaller teddies holding their breath inside puffed-up plastic bags. Among

  the gifts there is a round leather ottoman, dubiously shaped by a rustling

  straw inner. My mom is going to be delighted with her gift and so will my

  brother and two sisters.

  But these are more than just gifts – Pinky, with her curly blue bow and

  large fl at eyes, is a triumph of dad’s success at the fahfee banks today.

  My father, my Ah Ba, is a fahfee man, the mm-china or ma-china of the

  townships, a so-called ju fah goung, as we say in Cantonese. Fahfee is an

  1

  UFRIEDA HO

  illegal betting game with 36 numbers and wonderfully curious connections

  to dreams, to superstitions and to luck and chance; the dirty gambling of

  the townships.

  In South Africa fahfee has evolved from its recreational gambling

  roots and has been transformed into an economic survival strategy. It can

  endure in South Africa’s socio-political space where segregation is so well

  worn it is like an involuntary impulse to separate, to categorise, to divide.

  It is South Africa in the 1980s and there is no place for a yellow man,

  especially not one like my dad who is uneducated, who is not savvy to the

  social rules that make up polite white society and who is prohibited from

  even trying to fit in.

  It is to fahfee that he turns and the townships far from the mainstream

  of middle class. And it is what my father does for the biggest chunk of

  my memory. Fahfee, when the gambling gods will it, brings fortune, good

  times and even the likes of Pinky. It pays for my school fees, treats at a

  roadhouse and eventually an assortment of second-hand cars as we climb

  the ladder to middle class.

  All the time, what turns up in the numbers makes real the superstitions

  of the old country: the mysterious what-ifs that connect the realm of the

  explained with what cannot be known. And in the dreamtime, the fahfee

  man’s beliefs and impressions thread together a place far, far east to the

  golden mountain of Johannesburg, glorious with the nostalgia of when the

  yellow metal did line the streets.

  Fahfee is about sweat and drudgery. It is about toil on the periphery of

  society where it stays hidden, out of sight and secret. It is about what luck

  brings and what risks you are prepared to take when you stand to lose

  everything.

  In my family, fahfee means we stand to lose a lot.

  2

  2

  Here be Dragons

  I grew up in Bertrams, in the east of Johannesburg, in the 1970s and 80s.

  I am the third of four children. We lived in a semi-detached house along a

  wide road that pulled apart the suburb for the cars advancing towards the

  shopping centre and highway exchange that over the next three decades

  would become the massive mall of Eastgate and the throbbing clot of the

  N3 interchange.

  This was a so-called grey area, where Chinese people were mostly

  ignored for living in these spaces that were still legally reserved for whites

  in apartheid South Africa. No one cared really that a few Chinese lived

  here because these were not the fancy suburbs where people worried about

  backwashing swimming pools or keeping appointments at the doggie

  parlour. Like dragons in fairytales, we were left to become the demons of

  people’s theories, mysteries and loathing. As long as we stayed in our lairs

  and did not breathe out fi re, we were pretty much left alone.

  Of course, I did not know then that things like pool maintenance

  separated and defi ned people. I did not know that being Chinese made

  me different, like I did not know what fahfee would come to mean for my

  family, and especially for my father.

  3

  UFRIEDA HO

  This gambling game practised in hidden places was never spoken about

  openly to outsiders. Fahfee was always sullied, polluted somehow. It was

  associated with the working class, with transacting with the poorest of

  the poor. And so fahfee was something people skirted around even to

  community insiders and completely so to outsiders. It remained a practice

  of humiliation and secrecy, which turned into a practice of shame and

  stigma.

  I did not know these things in the 1980s when I was growing up as

  we were a part of living these shadows and scars. We were a society full

  of cleavages; we shared a country, but we were not a nation. Separated in

  delineated living spaces, we stayed in our boxes of stereotypes, convenient

  prejudices and simmering tensions.

  I was blissfully unaware of all this as a child, a bit like the small fertile

  patch in our garden that showed happy oblivion or maybe it was quiet

  rebellion, growing with abandon against expectation and convention.

  Where there should have been hydrangeas and pansies, the small patch

  of soil became a vegetable haven of downy winter melons, smooth green

  Chinese spinach and eruptions of spring onion – the vegetables you could

  not find in a local greengrocer in South Africa in the 1980s, but which

  were the staples on a Chinese family’s daily menu.

  Most Chinese we knew used whatever land was around them to grow

  food. No one really moaned about the fluttering strips of plastic bags that

  stood in for scarecrows because this was a crumbling bit of suburbia.

  Further down the road lived a Chinese woman and her adult son. She

  raised chickens on the small property and sometimes we walked down to

  her corner house to buy a freshly slain bird.

  The old aunty disappeared behind the backyard door, closed it and told

  us to wait. There was a muffled squawking, the sound of someone moving

  quickly. We sat in the kitchen in silence, imagining the poor chickens darting

  across their small pen hoping not to be the unlucky one. She reappeared

  some minutes later with a limp bird, some of its white feathers wet where

  the first blood of its death had been rinsed off. The chicken was placed

  into a double-bagged, blue-grey plastic bag and we walked home with its

  still-warm body knocking against our legs, ready to be paired with our

  winter melons on the dinner table.

  Outside the stout walls of our house an oak tree’s trunk burst out of

  the grey pavement. It was the pavement where the old brown Cortina was

  parked, because there was no garage or driveway. There was no grass

  4

  PAPER SONS AND DAUGHTERS

  around the old giant, just a scattering of its leaves and acorns;
the rest

  was tarred. I liked to collect the little nuts, pop off their hats and peel off

  their hard casings until my fingernails were split and sore. The pain was

  worth it to treat the squirrels that I believed lived in our neighbour’s tree.

  My older sister Yolanda (I called her Kaa Jeh or Kaatch) convinced me

  that my furry friends did appreciate my efforts, so I happily peeled away

  in pain, but there were no squirrels in suburban Joburg. Yolanda kept up

  her poker face and I believed her, thinking that the more I peeled, the more

  grateful the squirrels would be and then I would surely see them.

  I did my growing up with Yolanda, who is the eldest. She was short,

  cheeky and always hatching a plan to get her way and to get us to be at

  her side when it happened, just in case things went pear-shaped. My older

  brother Kelvin was the only boy, all stringy and weedy when we were

  growing up. He tempted us to join in his invented games and we could

  not help being his participating audience for his card stunts and magic

  tricks, begging him to show us how to do them, but of course he revealed

  nothing. He was the brother who offered to ‘operate’ on a pair of talking

  teddies. He said he would open their voice boxes, tweak their wires and

  electric chips and they would greet us again with ‘Hello, I am Teddy the

  bear, the one who is always there’. We believed him but once their little

  voice boxes landed in his surgeon hands, our bears never greeted us again.

  Perhaps they just needed a fresh set of batteries. The baby was Unisda.

  She was quiet and mostly went with the flow, scooped off her feet by the

  waves of her older siblings. Unisda and I were so close in age we became

  like twins relegated to the bottom of the pecking order.

  Together we made up the generation of Hos born on South African soil,

  here in the eastern suburbs of Johannesburg. We have Chinese names, too.

  Mine is Chiu Ngaan, which means colour. In Chinese your surname comes

  first. My sisters are Chiu Yeng and Chiu Saan. Chui is the common name

  for us girls and it means jade. My brother is Beng Leung; it means bright,

  and Beng is a common name he shares with all the other second cousins in

  the extended family. My parents realised that in South Africa we needed to

  have English names, too. I thought I had a strange English name; for years

  until I was well into my teens I resented the unusualness of my name. Not

  only did I almost always have to repeat myself, but I also had to think up

 

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