Abyss

by Bethany Adams

  Kezari said nothing, only wrapped her hot fingers around his wrist and tugged as she started forward. Instinctively, he balked, his feet digging in when she pulled. He couldn’t do this. Even in the open sky, he couldn’t. His chest tightened with each reluctant step, and his vision grew blurry at the edges. He needed to stop. He didn’t want to break again, not here.

  But Kezari’s unrelenting grip dragged him forward.

  “I am Kezari,” the dragon said when they drew to a halt. “I wish to seek shelter for myself and my skizik while we resolve this matter. He needs a healer’s aid.”

  Aris’s muscles seized with the shock of her words. His throat closed around his denial.

  “And I am Callian Myern i Lyrnis Dianore nai Braelyn,” the lord answered. “I am willing to offer shelter so long as you vow to maintain peace and to not attempt to go through the portal without my permission.”

  “I vow such,” Kezari answered.

  Lord Lyrnis inclined his head. “Very well. In what way has your skizik been injured?”

  Kezari peered at the trees ringing the clearing and then at the small group before them. “He would not wish to say at this moment. I would not. There are many ears.”

  “Perhaps we should continue this discussion in my study,” the lord said. “Provided you are able to maintain your current form for that long.”

  Her nose wrinkled. “I can stay this strange shape for the needed time.”

  The door to the estate opened, and a woman with light blond hair exited. She held a book, not a knife, but her resemblance to Perim had Aris’s chest constricting with the force of a great jungle snake. He gasped, a strangled sound of pain slipping free, and his vision wavered. With barely a glance his way, she rushed over to Lord Lyrnis, but her lack of attention wasn’t comforting.

  Kezari’s fingers tightened on his wrist. “It is not Perim.”

  “I know.” The woman stopped beside the Myern, the corners of her mouth curving as she leaned close to whisper. “But they could be sisters. Even her energy is similar. What if she… A trap. This may be…”

  The clearing faded from his vision, replaced by memories of the cave. His captor’s wicked smirk as her cajoling hands ran along his body. The sudden surge of pain as her knife sliced into his flesh. Aris attempted to dispel the images, but he couldn’t seem to find his grip on the present. She was here, and he would suffer for these weeks of freedom.

  Something squeezed his wrist and shook, causing a twinge of pain, and he tried to tug his arm away. Too strong. The chains had always been too strong. Aris gasped for breath, but his chest hurt too much to take in air. Chills wracked his body as his mind splintered.

  “Aris,” a female voice snapped. “Stop, skizik.”

  “Told you…couldn’t…”

  Power flashed painlessly through his mind, and he fell into blessed dark.

  Chapter 4

  Before Selia had quite processed what was happening, power surged and Aris crumpled. The dragon woman caught him in her arms and lowered his slack body to the ground. Beside Selia, Meli’s words cut off, and Lyr hissed out a low curse. For a drip of time, they stood unmoving, the very air taut with tension.

  That had been a spell of incapacitation—not something typically cast by a friend.

  Selia rushed across the space between them. The dragon, Kezari, glanced up from where she crouched at his side, and power built around her. Selia readied her own magic, but she didn’t stop. Not until she dropped down next to her husband and placed her hand on his cheek.

  “What kind of dragon attacks her rider?” Selia demanded.

  “Guard your words, elf.” Kezari’s head drew back as if she were about to breathe fire or consume prey, but on the shorter neck of this body, the motion threw her off balance and she had to catch herself on her hands. “Cursed useless form.”

  Aris let out a groan, and Selia studied his face. His eyes fluttered, but they didn’t open. “What did you do to him?”

  The dragon leaned closer, her voice dropping to a bare whisper. “The memories held him in their grip. I am uncertain how to heal him.”

  Memories? Selia recalled how the birds and other forest creatures had begun to make sounds of distress. Then the blind panic in Aris’s eyes moments before the dragon had used her power. Selia’s own heart had pounded with the frenzied rhythm of his, a sure sign that something was dreadfully wrong with her husband. He only lost control during times of extreme duress or pleasure, and his reaction hadn’t been the latter.

  Something terrible must have happened to him.

  “You know the cause,” Selia accused flatly.

  Kezari gave a sharp nod. “But I do not know you.”

  Selia’s hands shook as she brushed a strand of dark green hair from Aris’s forehead. “I am his wife. Unless he rescinded his vow. I…I don’t understand. He’s dead. Was.”

  “He was on our isle for some years,” the dragon said. “But not voluntarily, I discovered.”

  Aris had been held against his will? A frown creased Selia’s brow as she stared down at her beloved’s face. The survivors of the shipwreck had claimed to see Aris sink beneath the wreckage and never emerge. He must have been swept away by the currents and somehow ended up on the dragons’ island. But who would have kept him captive for seven years—and why?

  Why hadn’t he run to her when he’d recognized her?

  His eyelids flicked open, and his hazel eyes collided with hers. For a heartbeat, joy surged in his gaze, only to morph into pain. “Selia,” he said, his voice rough.

  “I can’t believe it’s you,” she whispered. She wanted to throw herself across him and hold him close. She wanted to shake him and demand to know what had happened. Neither option seemed like the best plan considering his earlier breakdown. “I don’t know what to ask first.”

  Aris winced. “Perhaps you should return to your husband.”

  “What are you talking about?” Selia blinked in confusion. Had he lost part of his memory? “You are my husband.”

  Aris shifted restlessly. “Lord Lyrnis.”

  That startled a short laugh out of her. “I am not married to Lyr. He’s bonded to the blond lady who just joined us.”

  “Bonded to the…” Aris stiffened, his eyes going wide. “Who is she? What is her name?”

  “Meli,” Selia said quickly, hoping to stem the panic building on his face. How odd that Meli’s presence caused him such distress. “She is one of the Ljósálfar, but I don’t understand why that would upset you. I’ve never known her to be anything but kind.”

  Aris let out a breath. “She looks like—”

  “Perim,” Kezari hissed. “I will rend that reptile limb from limb. But I will not consume her. Oh, no. Her wicked body would give sickness, not nourishment.”

  Selia sat back on her heels. A reptile who looked like Meli? It made no sense. She started to ask for more information, but Aris distracted her by sitting upright. His cheeks reddened as he caught sight of the group watching them from a few paces away. Shame tinged his expression before all emotion left his face.

  Aris had always loved people. To have reacted like this to such a small crowd… Whatever had happened to him must have been horrific.

  Selia made quick contact with Lyr. “Meli’s appearance caused him distress. Literally.”

  “Meli? You must be joking.”

  “I don’t know the full story,” Selia sent. “But it seems he was captured at some point by someone who looks like her.”

  Lyr gave a slight nod. “I’ll ask her to go back inside.”

  After a moment, Meli’s mouth fell open. Then she grimaced, and without a word, she spun and darted back inside. Once the door had closed behind her, Aris relaxed slightly before shoving himself to his feet. But as Selia studied his harsh profile, she had a feeling the man she’d known was gone.

  Would she get the chance to learn who he’d become?

  Aris forced his emotions to blank as he stared at the lord of Braelyn. Despi
te the humiliation of falling prey to panic in front of the Myern, focusing on him was a better alternative than Selia’s stunned, hurt gaze. Once, he’d yearned with all of his heart to be with her again, but that longing had been severed at Perim’s hand. Selia deserved far better than this broken shell.

  “As Kezari stated earlier, I am…unwell,” Aris said carefully. “Please forgive my lapse.”

  Lord Lyrnis’s expression remained placid. “It is of no consequence. However, I must insist you accompany me to the healer’s tower before negotiations continue. Once you have properly introduced yourself, of course.”

  Aris hesitated. Who was he, really? He could no longer define his place, but one’s title described that very thing. Selia called him husband. Could he step back into that role? He had no idea, but it was the closest thing he had to give. “Taian ia’Kelore ai’Flerin ay’mornia Ayern Aris Baran ne Selia nai Fiorn.”

  Lyrnis inclined his head. From the Myern’s lack of surprise, Aris assumed Selia had somehow told him. “Follow me, Aris Baran. I have a feeling we need you well.”

  With that cryptic statement, the Myern strode back toward the building. The other two who had been with him, a red-haired woman and a black-haired man, stared after him for a moment before following. Then Lord Lyrnis cut left down a side path and paused, glancing over his shoulder with a raised brow.

  “Kezari?” Aris asked softly, knowing she would understand.

  “You will see this healer.” She reached for his wrist again, but he shook his head in denial. He would move forward on his own this time. “I can shift into an elven form, but I do not know how to fix one. Your body may be unwell. I cannot tell.”

  Avoiding Selia’s gaze, Aris made himself take a step. Then another. Although his heart pounded in his chest, he managed to shuffle toward the others without another breakdown. Kezari and Selia kept pace with him, one on each side, but he couldn’t think about them. He had to concentrate on advancing.

  How pathetic was this? He’d spent years traversing deserts and hacking through jungles. He’d helped blaze trails and establish settlements in the remote areas of their continent. Now, he could barely stand to cross a simple clearing in the heart of his homeland. He had nothing to fear here—he’d never heard an ill word against Lord Lyrnis or his father before him, and Aris sensed no hostility.

  Too bad fear wasn’t logical.

  Or perhaps it was logical. The other half of his soul had been willing to torture him for years. How could he trust strangers to treat him any better? His heart knew Selia, at least, wouldn’t hurt him, but he had no faith in anyone else. And being around Selia brought its own agony.

  Just as he reached the others, the estate door opened again, and another, smaller form slipped out. Aris halted, his muscles locking at the sight of the boy frozen in the doorway. Light brown hair flopped around his young face, a few strands shading his wide hazel eyes. Aris didn’t need Selia’s strangled groan to know who it was.

  His son.

  In a flurry of movement, Iren dashed across the distance between them and threw his arms around Aris. “Onaial!”

  Aris’s heart twisted and then pounded hard at the constraint. Even as joy surged through him, a thousand knives pricked at his nerves until his whole body thrummed with the need to push Iren away—but also to pull him close. Memories swelled of the last time he’d seen his son. Iren had curled his small body around Aris’s leg and begged him not to go. Now his son’s arms spanned his waist. Miaran. He would not let his sickness ruin this moment.

  Even as Aris shuddered, he wrapped his arms around Iren and hugged him back.

  Aris would never under any torture reveal the relief he felt when Iren finally pulled away. “You have grown too much,” Aris whispered through a throat gone raw.

  Iren swiped tears from his cheeks. “I thought you were dead.”

  “I did, too, but it seems I must live.” Aris sighed at the frown the comment inspired. There was no way he could explain to his innocent son all of the horrors he’d been through or the times he’d longed for death. “I was a prisoner, Iren. I did not abandon you.”

  Trust gleamed in Iren’s eyes as he smiled. “Now you’re home.”

  What could he say to that? He hadn’t thought to live beyond the next month. But seeing his family—perhaps he could find a way. Somehow. “I…”

  “Your father was just rescued,” Selia said softly. “He needs to see the healer.”

  Iren nodded. “Let’s go.”

  Before Aris could think of a way to discourage him, Selia solved the problem. “You have studies to focus on, and I am certain your father would like privacy for his examination.”

  “But everyone else is going,” Iren cried.

  The red-haired woman stepped toward the estate, dragging the other male with her. “Kai and I will wait in the study. Come on, Iren. We can work on our history together.”

  Though he protested, his son was finally nudged back through the door by the unknown woman. Aris peered after her for a moment. She wore the medallion of the one named Kai, so she was clearly bonded. Why would she still be studying basic history at her age? With a shake of his head, he shoved the question aside. The mystery would have to wait.

  “If you are ready?” Lord Lyrnis asked with a polite motion toward the trail.

  Aris wanted to groan. They watched him like an invalid, and he couldn’t even argue the point. Not when he could fall into madness at any moment. “Yes.”

  As he followed the Myern, Kezari gave him a pointed glance. “You did not mention that you have spawn.”

  Selia made a choked sound, and he winced. She had to think the worst of him despite his capture. If she even believed that part. “Speaking of my lost family brought me pain, and I did not want to spark another breakdown.”

  “I do not know what to do,” Kezari said. “I would not put one with young into danger, but I must have your help. You are important.”

  His lips twisted. “I’m not an asset to anyone.”

  Kezari squeezed his shoulder. Though her fingers closed like talons, the gesture brought an odd sort of comfort. “Give yourself a chance, and you will be.”

  Once they reached the tower standing alone in the trees, the Myern stopped. The door was open, but Aris didn’t see the healer. “I will stay outside,” Lyrnis said.

  Aris gave a small grateful smile. “Thank you, Lord Lyrnis.”

  “Please, call me Lyr.” The impassivity faded from the Myern’s face, replaced with lines of concern. “The sacred tree Eradisel Herself warned us that you would be arriving. Considering that and your connection to Selia, I suspect we’ll attain more than a passing acquaintance.”

  The sacred tree? Aris blinked. He’d assumed the gods and their emissaries, the trees, had long forgotten him. “Very well.”

  “I will go into this place with you,” Kezari said.

  Aris stared at the gaping hole that was the door. It was too bright outside to see into the interior darkness of the tower. “I’m not sure I can go inside, regardless,” he admitted.

  “I could…” Selia began, but her words trailed off uncertainly when he met her eyes. Gods knew what she saw there. “Perhaps my presence would no longer bring comfort.”

  He lifted his hand to brush his fingers across her cheek, longing to smooth away her pained frown, but he let his arm drop. His fingers curled into his palm. Aris could never touch her again, not with hands as dirty as his. She wasn’t some pure and perfect creature—no one was—but she deserved better than him. Once she learned the extent of his torture, she would surely agree.

  “If I am to attempt to enter, it must be alone,” Aris said. “Not even you can come, Kezari.”

  Her nostrils flared. “That is unwise.”

  His laugh held little humor. He had no idea if he could bring himself to go through the door, but if he couldn’t perform that simple task under his own power, he had little hope of making it in this world. “Perhaps, but it is my choice.”

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nbsp; Aris focused on his goal and took a resolute step forward. Then another. He had to do this. Now that he’d found Selia and Iren, Aris couldn’t simply give up. It was one thing for his family to have never known he still lived. If Aris had killed himself, well…they’d already thought he was dead. But returning to his family only to leave them forever was a cruelty he couldn’t inflict. The trust, joy, and love in Iren’s eyes haunted him, but they also propelled him. If nothing else, Aris had to discover if there was any hope of fixing his broken mind.

  And maybe the healer would be able to tell if Aris’s soul was as twisted as Perim’s.

  Selia stared after Aris and tried to shove down the pain that threatened to choke her. For the briefest moment, he’d almost touched her. Love and concern had flickered across his face, and he’d reached out to comfort her the way he’d always done. Then he’d shut down and pulled back.

  Aris had told the dragon that thinking of his family caused pain. He hadn’t mentioned Iren. Had he even intended to return to them? Perhaps he had decided to start a new life on Earth with the dragon. Selia eyed Kezari. She was certainly beautiful in her elven form. Selia would never have thought it of Aris, but anything was possible.

  Kezari leaned close. “The female who tortured him claimed to be his mate.”

  Selia went cold as she processed the dragon’s words. The implications of that whispered statement tore into her heart. “Tortured by his mate?”

  “He rejected the claim,” Kezari said. “I do not know more.”

  Selia had no idea how dragons used the word, but mate implied a soulbond. Gods, that couldn’t be true. No one would do that to the other half of their soul. Bonding wasn’t always as perfect as the idealized view so many held, but torture? It made no sense.