Vineyard in a Valley

by Gloria Bevan

  ‘But, Tracy,’ the small, carefully made-up face looked suddenly old, ‘you said ... you promised...’

  ‘I’ve changed my mind.’ Could that be her own voice, so low and despairing? She must pull herself together, not give him the satisfaction of knowing how deeply the wound had penetrated.

  ‘But you said you’d stay until I got my driving licence back—’ There was a note of genuine regret in the older woman’s tones. ‘It’s only another three weeks. Just stay until then, Tracy. Please.’

  All at once it seemed less trouble to agree than to carry the argument further, especially as she was painfully aware of Stephen’s disquieting presence. Though saying little no doubt he was thinking a lot. Her heavy thoughts ran on. She wouldn’t have to see a great deal of him, except in the office, and there to all intents they would be merely employer and employee. That was all they had ever been, actually. She said on a sigh, ‘I guess I could stay on for that long.’

  ‘Thank heaven for that!’ Lucie sank back on the seat at her side ‘You’ve no idea what a joy it is to me, having you at the house. Otherwise I’m stuck there with only the men for company and you know what that means. Men’s talk, wine talk, but with you it’s different. Having someone around who’s so young and pretty—’

  But Tracy wasn’t listening. Three weeks, she was thinking. Surely I could endure anything for three weeks. She would have to do better than she had today, though, if she were not to betray her feelings. On one point her mind was made up. While at the valley she would arrange for her air passage back to London. She had no heart now for sightseeing, even in this country of scenic wonders. Once back amid familiar surroundings maybe the nagging anguish might lessen; Steve, the vineyard in the valley, seem no more than a half-forgotten dream. Forget Stephen? Once again the small insistent voice deep in her mind made itself known. ‘Who do you think you’re fooling?’

  When they reached the house they could hear the telephone ringing inside and Lucie ran towards the instrument. She turned back to Tracy with a smile. ‘It’s for you! Sounds like that friend of yours, Glenn.’

  Slowly she picked up the receiver. She had actually forgotten him and it took her a moment to drag her thoughts away from her own problems. She summoned a note of gaiety into her voice. ‘Hello!’

  ‘It’s you!’ Excitement and pleasure rippled over the wire. ‘Glenn here! If I’m not glad to hear from you! Seemed as though you were never coming back. I took a chance and rang through just in case—how was the trip anyway?’

  ‘The trip? Oh, it was fine! We’ve just this minute got back.’

  ‘I won’t keep you, then. But I’ve just had a thought. How about coming out for a spot of dinner with me tonight? There’s a place by the water where they turn on quite a decent meal, with a spot of entertainment thrown in. Interested?’

  ‘I don’t know.’ Her tone was uncertain. Then she was aware of Stephen passing near her as he carried in her travel bag. A reckless impulse made her say quickly, ‘All right, then, I’ll be ready. What time? Eight o’clock? See you then!’

  The evening set a pattern for the following days, for rather than be alone with her troubled thoughts, she clutched at the opportunity of escape that Glenn offered her. Anything was preferable to staying here at the house with Stephen, knowing ... remembering ... It was surprising how you got through the days, she told herself drearily, as the week dragged by. Somehow you found you could carry on over shock and heartbreak, even over despair, if you had to. And she was all right—most of the time. Working duties in the vineyard office helped, for a sudden influx of orders brought a constant stream of clients to the long counter. One morning a party of Japanese visitors arrived, to be taken on a tour of the city’s most picturesque vineyards. And always there were the orders to be compiled, correspondence to be dealt with. Afternoons were taken up in driving Lucie to various places of interest in the city. Sometimes Tracy would leave her at a craft display, a shopping mall, an art gallery, arranging to pick her up later. But the arrangement proved unsatisfactory at least as far as Tracy was concerned, for alone in the car her random thoughts would take over and despite all her resolutions to banish such ideas, the despairing sense of let-down, the hopeless longing would return once again to overwhelm her.

  Nights were the hardest to endure, but even for that problem, she reflected wryly, there was a remedy. For it seemed that Glenn was always on the telephone, pleading to take her out. Each evening he appeared at the house promptly on time, immaculately dressed for dining or dancing, eager to escort her to a movie, a concert, a nightclub. ‘Wherever you’d like to go,’ he told her gaily. To Tracy it was all dreamlike, unreal. At times she wondered if Glenn suspected the truth. He was so gentle with her, so considerate in every way. She went with him to the various places of amusement and if her laughter held a brittle note and she felt nothing but a blank emptiness of spirit, he apparently noticed no difference in her. Being with him helped to pass away the hours and. sometimes she even forgot, for a time.

  Once or twice the idle thought crossed her mind that the one place Glenn did not suggest taking her was to the home of his friends where he was still living, but she didn’t really want to return there. The girl was there, the big strongly-built girl who had stared at her with an expression of baffled hatred in her eyes, jealous of her because of Glenn’s attentions. If Pam only knew how little he figured in her scheme of things. In her book he was nothing more than someone to go out with, someone to help her forget.

  She hadn’t yet told him how soon she was leaving the country and returning to England. Somehow it seemed less trouble to let herself to be carried along on a tide of ceaseless activity. Each night when he brought her back to the vineyard she would promise herself: ‘I’ll tell him tomorrow.’ Each night she postponed letting him know.

  Fortunately neither Lucie nor Bill appeared to notice any difference in her relationship with Stephen. Incredible how one’s life could alter in a few hours yet on the surface nothing was changed, so long as you could go on doing the everyday things, pretend that nothing had happened. But of course she had the advantage of being a stranger here. Those at Valley Vineyards had no way of knowing that she wasn’t always like this, a restless creature seeking gaiety night after night in a desperate effort to forget.

  If she anticipated any difficulty in the situation as regarded Stephen, she need not have concerned herself, for he was more distant and aloof than ever, speaking to her when he needed to in home or office, in a cool polite tone that only she knew hid an icy disdain. At times she wondered if she could have dreamed that scene on the firelit sands. Could he have been so different, this cold and distant stranger?

  Working in the office with him proved more difficult to endure than she had anticipated. Seeing his dark head bent over the account books a short distance away from her, listening to the deep tones as he interviewed local and overseas clients, watching through the window as he guided the cultivator between the long terraced rows of vines, a lithe figure in shabby grey shorts and cotton shirt. It seemed as though she couldn’t drag her thoughts away from him.

  Since their return from Gisborne she had contrived to avoid any close contact with him. Not that it was difficult, she thought with bitter anguish, for his cool employer approach to her simplified the situation. If only it could erase memory too, blot out the mind-pictures of a darkening shore, promises that had proved to be as empty and meaningless as wind-swept sands.

  One afternoon she had returned from a trip to the city with Lucie and was putting the car in the garage when a massive, dust-smeared old Chrysler drew up on the pathway below the house.

  ‘Surprise! Surprise!’ Cliff waved a crutch from the car window and a small red-haired figure in a tan trouser suit leaped from the driver’s seat and came smilingly towards Tracy. ‘Hi! You’re Tracy, aren’t you? I’m Kim.’

  Tracy smiled across at the square-jawed, freckled face. ‘I remember you! You were at the Cook Hospital in Gisborne. You were a nurse th
ere.’

  ‘Still am! But I had a weekend’s leave due and Cliff was mad to get home for a while, so I said I’d drive him up to Auckland. Dad lent us his jalopy and here we are! Cliff wouldn’t let me send you a wire, he wanted to surprise you.’

  ‘Glad you did!’

  ‘Wait a minute!’ She ran back to the car, holding the crutches in readiness as Cliff lowered himself from the vehicle. A few moments later he was negotiating the steep concrete steps leading up to the house. ‘Don’t help me, woman! I can manage!’ He waved away Kim’s outstretched hand.

  She shrugged good-humouredly. ‘You can see what I’m up against.’

  But Tracy had seen something else, the warm feeling of intimacy that flowed between the other two. Was it because she was so emotionally caught up herself that she felt this flash of awareness concerning the feelings of Kim and Cliff? Aloud she murmured: ‘Just wait until Lucie sees you both! She’ll be thrilled to bits!’

  ‘She is!’ Kim turned her head to laugh over her shoulder, for already Cliff had swung himself at the open door and Lucie’s arms were around him as she laughed and talked and questioned all in one breath. The next moment, realizing he wasn’t alone, her gaze went to Kim.

  ‘My private nurse,’ he grinned. ‘Kim wouldn’t let me out of hospital by myself, so the only way I could make it up here was to bring her along with me. We’ve come for the week-end!’

  ‘That was a wonderful thought!’ While Lucie hurried towards the kitchen to plug in the coffee percolator, Cliff swung himself over the unfinished sheepskin rug on the floor and dropped down to a low chair. The next moment Stephen stood at the open doorway and it seemed to Tracy that as usual these days he avoided her glance. Not that she minded ... but somehow she did ... horribly. Watching Cliff’s transparently happy features she wondered again at the pleasure both men appeared to find in their meeting. How could Cliff forgive his brother so soon, and so effortlessly? Perhaps though now that Cliff had found someone to take Alison’s place ... it would surely be less painful to forgive when one was happy and not the guilty party ... like Steve. She brought her heavy thoughts back to the present.

  ‘You know,’ Lucie was saying excitedly, ‘you’ll be able to come back to Auckland now, Cliff. You could easily arrange a transfer to a local hospital for your therapy treatment.’

  ‘I could, but I’d rather stay down at the Cook for a while, the way things are.’

  Lucie’s brown eyes held a puzzled look ‘But why?’

  ‘Let’s just say,’ Cliff’s smile broadened, ‘that down there I’m getting a rather special kind of therapy, the kind I like!’

  Tracy’s gaze moved from Cliff to Kim’s radiant face. ‘You two are engaged!’

  ‘I thought you’d never notice!’ Proudly Kim thrust forward a small workworn hand. A simple sapphire ring gleamed from a stubby freckled finger.

  But Tracy’s swift glance had not missed the expression of sudden relief that lighted Steve’s features. No doubt, she mused, now that his brother was obviously happy and contented with someone new, Steve need have no further worries regarding Alison ... and himself. It’s like a ghastly game of Happy Families, she thought bleakly. Everyone’s getting paired off except me. She forced a smile to her lips, dutifully admiring the modest little ring and adding her own voice to the chorus of congratulations.

  ‘What do you think of that for an idea?’ With a start she realized Cliff was regarding her with his open, friendly smile.

  ‘Sorry,’ she dragged her thoughts hack to the present, ‘I wasn’t listening, I’m afraid.’

  ‘Steve’s idea! How about if we all make up a party, go out to dinner tonight, by way of celebration? There’ll be Lucie and Bill, you and Steve—’

  In an unguarded moment her glance flew to his. How could his grey eyes appear so dark and shadowed? At his grave unsmiling glance she twirled her long hair beneath her chin in a nervous gesture, but there was nothing she could say, no way of escape. Anyway, what did it matter? No doubt he would find some way of avoiding contact with her as much as possible during the evening, just as she ... She became aware of Cliff’s puzzled glance. ‘Hope I haven’t spoiled anything for you two. I mean, you haven’t got other plans for tonight?’

  ‘No, no!’ Tracy summoned up a smile, forced her voice to a light careless note. ‘Of course not! No plans at all!’ Her heart underlined the words. ‘At least,’ belatedly she remembered a date with Glenn this very night, ‘nothing that I can’t put off.’

  ‘Good on you! Funny, you know,’ Cliff’s tone was thoughtful, ‘somehow at the hospital the other day I got the feeling that you and Steve—’

  ‘Don’t take any notice of him, Tracy!’ Kim’s bright voice cut in. ‘The trouble with Cliff is that he thinks too much. It was about time I got him up out of that hospital bed and up on to crutches!’

  In the ensuing wave of good-natured laughter the dangerous moment passed and soon Cliff was recounting anecdotes of life on the remote and unspoilt East Coast. It was a man’s country, Tracy gathered. A place where a short plane trip could transport a hunter swiftly to the heavy bush of the outback, where the fishing was unsurpassed and race meetings were held on a long sandy stretch of a surf beach.

  Tracy soon realized that Kim, young, impressionable, quick to help in any way she could, was as different a girl as one could possibly imagine from Alison. There wasn’t the slightest doubt as to how Kim felt about Cliff. It was there for all the world to see, in the deepening light in the green eyes when she met his glance, the tone of her voice, the swift anticipation of his needs. Tracy wondered whether Cliff realized how fortunate he was in having met her. Unconsciously she sighed. If only he didn’t allow the memory of Alison’s sophisticated charm to linger on, corroding everything that was real and worthwhile in life, the way it had for her.

  That evening Tracy was stroking aqua-coloured shadow lightly over her eyelids when there was a knock at her bedroom door.

  ‘Come in!’

  Kim threw herself down on the bed, crossing shapely legs. ‘You don’t mind if I wait here? I’m sharing Lucie’s room and I thought I’d get ready first, then we wouldn’t fight over the mirror!’ She leaped to her feet. ‘Like me to give you a hand with that back zip?’

  ‘Thanks.’

  ‘You’d never think you weren’t a dyed-in-the-wool Kiwi,’ Kim flicked up the zipper over Tracy’s sun-tanned back. ‘You must have been here for quite a while.’

  ‘Only a couple of months.’ In spite of herself the pain ever waiting to pounce, attacked her out of the blue, but she pushed it aside. ‘It doesn’t take long to get a tan here. All you need,’ she forced a light laugh, ‘is lots of valley sunshine—and your bikini!’

  ‘For you maybe,’ the other girl’s tone was abstracted, ‘but you’re not a redhead—lucky you!’ Dropping down to the bed, she played nervously with the pale ring on her finger. ‘Then you must have been here when ... when...’ The catch in her voice betrayed a depth of feeling. ‘You know ... that other engagement of Cliff’s?’ she finished painfully.

  ‘You mean Alison?’ Tracy peered towards the mirror, avoiding the other girl’s eyes. ‘No, I came just afterwards.’ No need to explain that she had arrived here with the intention of being one of the wedding party.

  ‘It’s not like you think, you know!’ Kim burst out impulsively. ‘He just isn’t marrying me on the rebound, like everyone says at the hospital!’ The clear eyes raised to Tracy pleaded for understanding.

  Tracy said gently, ‘I never thought that. I just thought how awfully lucky he was to find you, after all that happened.’ In spite of herself, her tone hardened. If she had been Cliff she would never have forgiven a brother who had cheated, stolen his fiancée.

  ‘She was your cousin, wasn’t she?’

  At last Tracy turned to meet the other girl’s frank gaze. ‘I still think he’s lucky to have you!’

  ‘You really do, don’t you!’ Pleasure and relief lighted Kim’s small square face. ‘He loves me
,’ she said simply, ‘he really loves me. I mean, not like it was with Alison. Down at the hospital in Gisborne he told me all about it, and you can understand when you know’ the truth of it—’

  I can’t. Tracy made the observation silently, as she bent to slip her feet into black sling-backs.

  ‘He’d never really fallen for a girl before,’ the warm young tones ran on. ‘Can you imagine? At twenty-two? But that’s the way it was with Cliff. I guess he’d been so wrapped up in mountain climbing and all that... and then he’s kind of shy. So, when she came along—’

  Tracy wanted to throw her hands over her ears, do something, anything, to stop the flow of words that were like sword points aimed straight for the heart. She began snatching up garments, hanging them in the wardrobe, turning her face aside so as not to betray her own inner distress.

  ‘He really fell for her, but she—’ Kim stopped short in confusion. ‘Gee, I keep on forgetting that she’s your cousin.’

  ‘It doesn’t matter about that, but look, it’s getting late, the others will be waiting...’ She scarcely knew what she was saying, she only knew that at all costs she had to say something to halt Kim’s confidences. Another moment and she would be telling her all about Stephen, and the sorry part that he had played in the affair.

  Kim got to her feet, her bright smile flashing towards Tracy. ‘Anyway, I don’t need to tell you! You know all about it already.’