Bed of Lies

by Shelly Ellis

  “That woman tortured you, Ev! You said yourself that she has total contempt for you. I saw myself how she treated you. She cheated on you with Dante, for God’s sake—your own brother!”

  “And I cheated on her with you! I’m no better than she is.”

  The walk-in closet fell silent. Leila continued to stare at him in disbelief.

  “Oh my God!” She lowered her arms to her sides. She slowly shook her head. “You’re having second thoughts, aren’t you?”

  “What? What the hell are you talking about?”

  “I can see it in your eyes, Ev! You went to see Charisse and you didn’t even tell me! You’re defending her! Now you’re claiming that you’re no better than she is, which is just . . . just bullshit! You’re thinking about going back to her, aren’t you? Just say it!”

  “Lee, you’re being paranoid and delusional. You’re reading shit into this that isn’t there! Maybe it’s your pregnancy hormones talking, because you’re not making any sense!”

  “I told you in the beginning that I won’t go back to being anyone’s mistress!” she shouted like she could no longer hear him.

  “And I’m not asking you to!”

  Her face contorted with pain. Her eyes began to redden, though she held back her tears. Her bottom lip began to quiver, so she tucked it into her mouth and bit down hard on the flesh. She stoically pushed back her shoulders. “If you want to leave, then leave, Ev. It doesn’t matter that we’re engaged or that I’m pregnant—”

  “Lee, stop!” He grabbed her shoulders and shook her, something he had never done before, but he couldn’t take this. This was his worst nightmare. “Just stop, all right? You’re talking crazy!”

  “I’m not talking crazy! If you want to get back with Charisse,” she continued, unable to hold back the tears any longer, “I won’t hold you back! Then go, goddamnit! You don’t have to—”

  He kissed her, hoping that would smother her angry words, hoping that would quell her fury. He prepared himself for her to wrench her mouth from his. She would shove him away and indignantly storm out of their bedroom. But Leila didn’t. Instead, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back with the same ferocity. They clung to each other, despite the anger, despite the tears. The kisses reminded them of why they were together. Not just because they loved each other—because Evan certainly loved Leila. He had since he was a boy who was too young to even articulate the emotions he felt whenever he was around her. Their fervent kisses also reminded them of the passion they shared, which was almost combustible.

  Evan began to quickly undo the buttons of her blouse, popping off the bottom ones with a sharp tug when he became too impatient. She groped for his pants zipper. He shoved her skirt up her legs so that the tweed fabric was bunched at her waist.

  Evan suddenly had the presence of mind to remember that both the closet door and the bedroom door were open. Leila’s mother, or even Isabel, could walk into the room at any second and see them. He reached around Leila and slammed the closet door shut. He shifted them so that Leila’s back was pressed firmly against the door and he was facing her. But with every step and every turn, his mouth did not leave hers.

  He pushed her silk blouse from off her shoulders and let the garment fall to the floor. Rather than taking off her bra, he pulled down the straps and shoved the bra itself down to her waist, revealing her breasts. They were larger now due to the pregnancy—even the areolas. They were definitely more than a handful, and he loved it.

  He caressed them, and she arched her back as they kissed, inviting his touch, pressing herself into his hands. He tugged at her panties and she took his cue—pushing them down her hips and knees and letting them slide to her ankles and fall at her feet. She kicked them aside and let them land somewhere unseen in his closet. He finished undoing his pants so that they pooled at his feet. His boxer-briefs soon followed and his erection pressed urgently against her thighs, begging to be let in.

  Evan lifted one of her legs and she wrapped it around his waist. He hoisted her up a few more inches so that their torsos were level. He bore her weight as he braced her against the door for additional support. She wrapped her other leg around him, hooking her ankles together.

  “Don’t ever doubt that I love you,” he whispered into her ear before taking her mouth in another hungry kiss. He then entered her with one swift thrust.

  “Evan! Oh God!” she shouted out against his lips as he thrust into her again and again, feeling her wet warmth around him. The closet filled with their moans and shouts.

  A maid who had come into the room toting a vacuum and a duster was the only person who heard them. Her heart-shaped face flushed with heat and her brown eyes widened at the sound of the tortured groans coming from Mr. Murdoch’s closet and the rhythmic thud against the closet door, like someone was taking a battering ram to it. The maid immediately rushed out of the room, back into the west wing’s corridor, almost tripping on the vacuum’s electrical cord as she fled.

  Twenty minutes later, both Evan and Leila sat mostly naked on the closet’s carpeted floor, satiated and worn out. Leila rested her sweaty brow on Evan’s shoulder.

  “I’m sorry,” she muttered, tiredly closing her eyes. “I shouldn’t have said those things. I shouldn’t have doubted you. You didn’t deserve that.”

  Evan reached for her hand, brought it to his mouth, and kissed it. “And I should have told you that I was going to see Charisse today. I wasn’t trying to keep it a secret. I just didn’t . . . well, I just didn’t think.”

  She opened her eyes and let her head rest back against the door. “Maybe it is the hormones from the pregnancy. I’ve been so . . . so emotional lately. But it’s hard, Ev. All this stuff is really hard. I was hoping you’d be divorced in a couple of months and we could finally get married, but it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen. Charisse is going to drag this out. Now we’ll have to postpone the wedding. Instead of your wife, I’ll just be some rich guy’s mistress slash baby mama.”

  “Please don’t say that. Don’t start that again. Charisse will grant me the divorce, Lee. She’ll do it.”

  Eventually, he wanted to add, but didn’t.

  “And Izzy isn’t taking any of this well. I thought she would get used to the changes, that she would grow to love her life here. I mean, we’re throwing her that big birthday party next week. I thought she’d be happy, but . . .” Leila slowly shook her head. “I finally told her yesterday that we were going to have a baby . . . that she was going to be a big sister. You know what she told me?”

  He pursed his lips. “I’m afraid to ask.”

  “ ‘Can I go live with Daddy now since you guys will have a kid of your own?’ Like the baby makes her unnecessary.” Leila’s face twisted with pain again. She sniffed. “Mama told me to just give her more time, not to take this stuff personally. But how could I not take it personally, Ev? My little girl would rather live on the other side of the country with that asshole than with me! I couldn’t even tell her that there’s no way in hell she could ever live with him since he’ll probably get sentenced to jail time next month. He could be in some federal penitentiary by the end of the year.”

  “Then tell her that!”

  Leila shook her head again. “I can’t. Izzy idealizes her dad. I don’t want to be the one to knock him off his pedestal. It would alienate her from me even more.”

  Evan disagreed. He thought Isabel should finally know how much her father had put her mother through before she finally had to leave him, how close he had pushed their little family to the precipice of bankruptcy and homelessness because of his dirty dealings and selfishness. But he knew Leila would never listen to him.

  “You’re not a parent, Ev,” she would argue. “You don’t understand.”

  So instead of pushing his opinion, he wrapped his arm around her. “Let’s worry about the things we can control, then. Izzy may want to live with her dad, but she’s still here. Maybe . . . maybe your mom is right.” Somethi
ng he secretly doubted. “We just have to give Izzy more time. And even if Charisse drags her feet on the divorce, I still love you. I still want you at my side no matter what. And let’s not forget . . .” He dropped his hand to her bare stomach. “We’re having a baby! I don’t know about you, but I’m fucking ecstatic!”

  For the first time, she laughed. She finally broke into a smile and his heart lightened. She gazed up at him. “Let’s see if you’re still ‘fucking ecstatic’ when that baby is screaming at the top of its lungs at two o’clock in the morning.”

  “I’m still excited,” he whispered before lowering his mouth to hers for a kiss.

  She kissed him back and for a blissful moment, all their worries went away.

  Chapter 13

  Paulette

  Paulette walked out of the examination room with her head bowed and her shoulders slumped.

  She was now going to the doctor once a week and undergoing ultrasound after ultrasound. She had done a stress test, undergone an amniocentesis, was seeing a nutrition specialist, and had orders to be on modified bed rest, but her little boy was still too small for his gestational age, the specialist had told her with a frown. To make matters worse, she had developed high blood pressure and was starting to show early signs of preeclampsia.

  More bad news, she thought sadly.

  Her life was already falling apart and now her body was starting to take a tumble off a cliff too.

  “Paulette?” someone called to her as she stepped listlessly into the waiting room.

  Paulette was startled out of her stupor. She looked up and saw Leila waving her hand wildly and rising from one of the waiting room chairs.

  “Hey, girl! What are you doing here?” Leila asked as she strode toward her.

  Paulette forced a smile, fighting down her panic. She hadn’t expected Leila to be here. “Uh, just . . . just going to the doctor,” she mumbled as Leila hugged her and kissed her on the cheek.

  Leila stepped back and laughed. “Well, that makes sense considering where we are! But what are you doing in here? I thought all the docs in this practice were obstetricians.” Leila paused. Her eyes widened to the size of saucers. “Wait, are you . . . are you pregnant? You mean to tell me you’re pregnant, too? That’s so ex—”

  “No!” Paulette’s tense smile broadened. “No, of course not! I was just here for a . . . a checkup. I mean, I was consulting with one of the . . . one of the doctors to ask how I could get pregnant in the . . . uh . . . in the future. Just in case Tony and I want to . . . to try to get pregnant . . . someday, b-but not n-n-now!” she stuttered.

  Leila’s face fell. “Here I was thinking we were pregnant at the same time.” She poked out her lip in an exaggerated pout and laughed again. “I already had visions of us pushing around running strollers together. I thought I finally had someone to commiserate with about morning sickness and sore boobs.”

  Paulette shook her head. “Sorry to disappoint you. Maybe I’ll get pregnant soon, though.”

  “Oh, it’s not a big deal!” Leila said, waving her hand. “Besides, you guys just got married last year. You’ve got plenty of time! There’s no rush to—”

  “Mrs. Williams,” a nurse in periwinkle blue scrubs suddenly called out from the opened door leading back to the examination rooms, “you forgot this, ma’am!”

  Both Paulette and Leila turned to find the nurse holding up what was quite clearly an ultrasound printout. Paulette’s mouth fell open. She rushed across the waiting room and snatched the printout from the nurse’s hand, hoping Leila hadn’t seen what it was. She quickly shoved it into the depths of her leather hobo bag.

  “Thank you,” she mumbled to the nurse before turning back around to face Leila. When she saw the look on Leila’s face, she knew that her hope that Leila hadn’t noticed what was on the printed pages had been futile. Her surrogate big sister had definitely seen the ultrasound. Leila’s face morphed from shock to confusion.

  “I thought . . . I thought you said you weren’t pregnant.”

  Paulette took a deep breath. “I did,” she whispered.

  “So whose ultrasound is that?”

  Paulette slowly walked toward her. “Lee, let me explain.”

  “What is there to explain? You’re pregnant and you’re lying about it for some reason. Why?”

  “Can we not talk about this right here . . . right now?” Paulette glanced anxiously at the other women in the waiting room. They were all staring at the duo, not bothering to pretend that they weren’t watching. “I’ll try to explain what I can, b-but just not here with all these people around.”

  Leila crossed her arms over her chest obstinately. “Fine. I was fifteen minutes early for my appointment. I’ve got some time. Where do you wanna go?”

  Five minutes later Leila and Paulette walked into the complex’s center courtyard. A brick walkway bordered by flowering dogwoods and planters filled with marigolds, geraniums, and ferns wound its way toward a man-made pond that trickled softly. The two women sat on a metal bench facing the pond. The sun was shining. A light breeze made the weather seem balmy. The space was beautiful, too, but none of this lightened Paulette’s mood. She felt sick to her stomach. A burning formed in her chest and she was sure it wasn’t indigestion from the pregnancy. She was terrified. She would finally have to reveal her secret to someone besides her doctors. Paulette stared at her lap, not knowing where to start.

  “So, you’re pregnant . . .” Leila began for her.

  Paulette nodded, her eyes still focused on her lap.

  “Does Tony know?”

  Paulette hesitated, then shook her head.

  “Well, when do you plan to tell him? Why haven’t you at least told him, even if you’re keeping it a secret from everyone else?”

  Paulette didn’t answer. She loudly swallowed instead.

  “Honey, you can’t keep this a secret forever. You know that! You’re going to start showing soon!” Leila then narrowed her eyes at Paulette’s stomach. “How far along are you, anyway? I couldn’t even tell you were pregnant.”

  “I’m . . . I’m twenty-seven weeks.”

  “Twenty-seven weeks! So you’re . . . what? Six months pregnant now?”

  “Almost seven,” Paulette whispered, clutching her stomach. The baby shifted, jutting either his little foot or elbow into her ribcage.

  Leila stared at her in amazement. “How could you possibly be almost seven months? I was twice your size when I was pregnant with Izzy!”

  “I’ve hidden it well, I guess,” Paulette confessed, finally raising her gaze. “I’ve been wearing baggy clothes since the beginning of the pregnancy. Plus, the doctor says the baby is . . . he’s running a little small. Well, more than just a little. I guess that’s why I’m not showing that much.”

  “But why are you hiding your baby at all, Paulette? Why haven’t you told anyone when you’re this far along? I still don’t understand!”

  “Because I . . .” She pursed her lips. “Because I don’t know who the father is. I don’t know if it’s Antonio’s baby.”

  “Oh my God!” Leila slumped back onto the bench. “Are you kidding me? You’re not trying to tell me that you think it might be that guy’s . . . your ex-boyfriend . . . what’s his face?”

  “Marques,” Paulette said, almost choking on his name.

  She wished she could erase the name Marques Whitney from her memory, but she couldn’t. He seemed to be omnipresent in her life even though he was long dead, and if she was carrying his baby, he would be a permanent presence, as well.

  “I cannot believe I’m hearing this.” Leila slowly shook her head in denial. “I knew it! I knew that guy was bad news! Damn it, Paulette, I wish you would have—”

  “Listened to you when you warned me to tell the police he was blackmailing me? Listened to you when you told me to tell Marques to go to hell? Yes, Leila, I know now that was probably what I should have done, but none of that matters now, does it? What matters now is that I’m pregnant and you
know that I’m pregnant. If you care about me . . . if you care about my marriage to Tony . . . you’ll let me handle this my way. I’m doing this the best way that I can.”

  “By what? Waiting until you’re ready to deliver to finally tell Antonio and everyone else the truth? That’s ridiculous!”

  “Will you or won’t you keep my secret, Lee? I need to know.”

  Leila licked her lips, closed her eyes, and bowed her head. “No.”

  Paulette frowned. Had she heard Leila correctly? “Did you just say ‘no’?”

  Leila opened her eyes and nodded. She met Paulette’s gaze. “Yes, I told you no. No, I’m not keeping this secret. The abortion you had when you were sixteen . . . the affair you had with Marques . . . the blackmailing . . . I didn’t tell anyone because you begged me not to. But every secret I’ve kept has made things worse for you, Paulette, not better. . . and I’ve lived every day with the guilt that comes with that. It’s isolated you from your brothers. It’s alienating you from Tony. You’re nearly seven months’ pregnant and you’re hiding it, for Christ’s sake! I’m not doing this again!”

  “But it could end my marriage, Lee! You don’t understand everything that’s happened! Antonio could—”

  “No,” Leila said firmly. “I said no! Either you ’fess up to everyone, or I will.”

  Paulette fell silent.

  Leila glanced down at her watch. “Look, I have to get back upstairs, or I’ll miss my appointment. I’ll give you a little time to tell Tony first. But after that, I . . . I can’t anymore.”

  Paulette continued to clutch her stomach protectively, feeling her baby shift yet again. Leila was going to tell everyone the truth. The prospect left Paulette frozen with terror. In her periphery she watched as Leila stood from the bench and began to follow the brick pathway back to the complex’s entrance. Leila paused and turned back to face Paulette.

  “Even if you hate me now, know that I’m doing this because I care about you,” Leila called to her. “Please . . . just tell Tony the truth. Tell him everything. If he forgave you before, he’ll do it again. Just give him a chance.”