Never Coming Down

by Deja Voss

  Maybe not. Definitely not. But in this moment, I’m complete.

  Chapter 23

  The sun rising through the windows flutters my eyelids open, and even though I’m in this strange place, I feel like I am home.

  In this moment, I feel complete. Olive was right, I am happy. His arms wrapped around my body, waking up in his warm embrace, is the most grounding thing I’ve ever felt.

  I let out a long sigh.

  “What’s wrong?” He kisses my shoulder.

  “Nothing. Everything. This. I don’t want this to ever have to end.”

  He hugs me tighter, his corded thighs intertwined with mine, my cold feet pressing into his calves until he jumps.

  “It’s not going to. We can make this work, Sloan.”

  “I don’t want to leave. I want to wake up like this every morning with you.”

  It’s impractical. It’s nonsensical. An hour-long commute down the side of a mountain every day with the winter ahead is not something my beat-up old car can handle. Add in the fact that my hours are strange and long and sometimes it takes everything in me not to pass out on the short drive to my apartment, and I know it’s just wishful thinking on my part.

  “We’ll just have to play it by ear. We can stay at your place. We can stay at camp. As long as I get to have you next to me, I’ll camp in the hospital parking lot for all I care. You’re mine now, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure you’ll never sleep alone again. I’m gonna take care of you, Sloan.”

  My heart is beating so fast I think it’s going to explode out of my chest. Coming from him, I believe it. I don’t feel threatened by it or concerned about his true intentions. It’s pure and honest and real.

  I roll over in his arms so I can look into his gorgeous eyes.

  “I’m yours now?”

  “You got a problem with that?”

  I kiss his lips because it’s easier to show him how I feel about that idea than to try and tell him.

  “Does that make me your old lady then?” I tease. Never in a million years would I imagine myself here, saying something like this.

  “If you want to get technical, then sure.”

  “So what does that mean?”

  “It means your existence makes me a better man, and I spend the rest of my life doing everything in my power to make you happy.”

  I don’t know how to tell him how happy he is making me right now.

  “It also means we always sleep naked and I get to kiss your sweet pussy every morning.”

  “Both are very critical pillars in any healthy relationship,” I laugh.

  He rolls me on my back, pinning my arms over my head, and I soak in his gorgeous body, his rippled, inked abs and the look on his face like he’s about to devour me whole. His beard tickles my shoulder bone as he sucks on the side of my neck.

  My phone alarm begins ringing on the nightstand. It’s 5 a.m. and I need to start my day so I can get to work in time this afternoon.

  “Oh shit,” I mutter, disappointed. “Guess we’ll have to wait for tomorrow for you to make good on part two.” I roll over on my side.

  He wrenches my legs up over my head with one swoop and plants a sloppy kiss right on my clit before swatting my ass and pushing me out of bed.

  “Off ya go.” He winks.

  “You’re such a fucking tease.”

  “I’ll finish you off tonight. Give you a reason not to change your mind.”

  I walk down the hallway, all fired up and turned on, half hoping that he’ll follow me, and hop in the shower. I hear him fidgeting in the bathroom, brushing his teeth. He throws open the shower curtain and just stares at me. I instinctively try and cover myself with my hands.

  “What the hell!?” I laugh.

  “I’m sorry,” he says. “I just can’t stop looking at you, girl. You make me crazy. Everything about you. I feel like I just woke up from a dream or something. Had to make sure you were actually here in front of me.”

  The way he’s staring at me is turning me on something fierce. Something about the fact that he can stand there so nonchalant while I’m completely vulnerable drives me nuts.

  “Oh, I’m here,” I tell him, moving my hands, tracing my sides until I’m cupping my breasts. “And you are definitely not dreaming.”

  He shakes his head at me before yanking the shower curtain shut again.

  “Gavin!” I yell.

  “Hurry up, Sloan. You’re going to be late!”

  “Stop distracting me!” I whine. “And stop being such a tease!”

  Gavin

  I gotta stay away from her while she gets ready. As much as I want to spend another day inside her, on her, with her, I know I won’t be doing her any favors by sabotaging her work and school life.

  “Do you have a blow-dryer?” she asks as she walks down the hallway in nothing but a towel.

  “What do you think?”

  “I think I didn’t really think that one out.”

  After trying to hurriedly get ready, we mount up my bike and head back to the clubhouse so I can grab my pickup and take her to her place so she can get ready for work. I don’t care about what it’s going to take to make this work. All I know is that I’m going to be good on my word. Now that I’ve got her, I’m going to do whatever it takes to keep her, and to make sure she finishes her internship as planned. She might make me a better person, but I’m not going to make her a worse person by my own selfish whims to keep her here with me.

  The morning air is frigid, almost icy. Her skin is bright red, her teeth chattering as we pull into the garage, her hair still damp.

  “I’m definitely going to need some coffee,” she says.

  “Let’s go inside for a minute and I’ll get you some. I’ll warm up the truck, too. You’re going to catch a damn cold.”

  “Sure thing, old man,” she laughs. “You’re so cute when you try and take care of me.”

  I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel my skin start to blush a little bit. Of course I want to try and take care of her. She’s mine now, and I reserve the right to make sure she’s comfortable and healthy.

  We make our way into the house, and everything is so quiet. The place is put back together neatly, and the only person around is my brother.

  Goob is laying on the couch, watching the news, his casted leg propped up on an end table.

  “Hey, bud,” I say to him. “How are you feeling today?”

  “Oh my God, Hank,” she shouts, relief in her voice, running over to him. “How’s it going? I was hoping I’d get to see you. Are you feeling ok?”

  “Leave me alone,” he barks. “I don’t need your help.” He is grimacing in pain, the road rash on his forehead turning into a mess of scars on his fair freckled skin.

  She runs her hand over his forehead and he swats her away.

  “I said leave me alone, bitch,” he growls in a low voice. “Get your hands off me.”

  “Don’t talk to her like that,” I scold him. “It’s not her fault you’re a dipshit who can’t keep his bike on the road.” I don’t like that my father’s general attitude towards Sloan has seemingly rubbed off on him. “She didn’t do anything to you but help you.”

  “We’ll see about that,” he mutters.

  I’m not going to fight with him. I’m not even sure what he’s on, what he’s doing, or what his intentions are. I just want to get this day started so it can be tonight. I pour us two cups of coffee from the carafe on the bar and offer her cream and sugar. She just takes it black and silently walks out to my truck.

  “What the hell do you think that was all about?” she asks me as I open the door for her.

  “Who knows. Kid has problems. He’s had a rough life, really sick childhood. We kind of just let him do whatever he wants because we all feel bad for him. I guess it’s starting to show.”

  “You know it’s not your fault. He’s your brother, not your kid.”

  She hops in my truck and we start the long trip down the mountai
n. I can’t stop touching her, cupping her thigh in my hand as she stares at me with a thin smile across her face. It sucks having to do this, having to face reality, but it’s time to find out if we can make this work outside of some contained bubble.

  Odds are, it’s gonna make for some long days.

  “I don’t wanna,” she whines.

  “Oh, come on. You love working at the hospital,” I say.

  “I know, but these past couple days have been refreshing, to say the least. Eye-opening. I forget what the world is like outside of those four walls sometimes.”

  “What? Violent and chaotic?”

  “Sexy and exciting,” she says. “Same difference, I guess. You’ll see for yourself what kind of life I REALLY live when you get a load of my shitty apartment. Or when I come home from work at the end of the day and am barely capable of eating and passing out. There’s nothing sexy or exciting about my day-to-day.”

  She looks almost embarrassed.

  “You are sexy AND exciting to me, Sloan,” I assure her, running my hand up and down her thigh. It’s true. I can’t keep my hands off her. Everything about her is fascinating, sexy, exciting, and yet warm and familiar. “But you have to go to work. After you finish school, it’s up to you what you want to do, but I’m not going to let you quit right before you reach the finish line. Once you graduate, you can move up on the mountain and never come down again if that’s what you want. You can weave baskets and milk goats for all I care. But right now you need to keep your eyes on the prize.”

  “I’ve got my eyes on the best prize ever right now,” she sighs as she rests her head on my shoulder.

  “You’re fucking cheesy, Sloan,” I laugh.

  We ride in silence the rest of the way down the hill until we reach town.

  “Turn left here,” she says, and I turn off the main highway.

  “Why do you look so nervous?” I ask her.

  “I’m just embarrassed. You’re totally going to laugh when you see my apartment.”

  “I don’t care,” I tell her. “As long as I get to stay with you, it doesn’t matter.”

  “Well, my bed is so tiny, one of us will probably end up on the floor before the night is over. Why don’t I just pack a bag and we can stay at camp tonight?”

  It sounds perfect to me. I park in front of her place, and she slinks to the front door with her head down. It’s definitely not in the best part of town. It’s pretty rundown on the outside, and the entryway of the building is in need of massive renovation. It’s dim and smells kind of musty. I can’t imagine what a girl like her is doing living in a place like this. It doesn’t make sense. Surely she has other options. Either way, I’m going to make sure she’s not living like this much longer.

  Chapter 24

  Sloan

  “You have to promise you’re not going to judge me.” I cringe as we walk up the steps to my apartment. I take them two by two, hoping to make this process as quick as possible. This place is terrible, I know. The only person I’ve had over since moving in has been Olive. It’s horribly sketchy, but that’s all my current budget allows for. The closer to zero, the better. It’s just a place for me to lay my head at the end of the day.

  I turn the key in the lock. “You sure you just don’t want to wait outside?”

  “It’s fine,” he says, offering me a smile. “Even if you had a freezer full of dead bodies, I’d still think you were sexy as hell.”

  “Here’s the grand tour,” I say as I open the door.

  “Well…” He looks around, trying to find his words. “It’s clean?” He’s fishing for something nice to say, and it’s fairly cute.

  “I’m just gonna change my clothes, pack a bag and grab my work stuff quick and then we can head to the hospital.”

  He paces around my little room. I admit it’s sparse. I’ve never had an eye for interior decorating, and I don’t have anything in terms of family heirlooms. All that got lost in the shuffle.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask him. He looks confused. “Did you find the freezer of bodies?”

  “Don’t take this the wrong way,” he says, “but it’s really not what I expected.”

  “I told you it was a shit hole.” I grab some clothes from my dresser and put it in a tote bag. I walk in the bathroom and pack up my makeup bag and toothbrush. I don’t know what to tell him. I’m a broke student. He’ll just have to get over it.

  “It’s just, I’ve been in prison cells with more character than this. If anyone came in here they’d have no idea what kind of person lived here. Usually, girls love hoarding knickknacks and stuff. Throw pillows? Duvet covers? Accent walls? I don’t know, I’m just saying shit now. I actually have no idea what I’m talking about. But you don’t even have a picture of your family or anything.”

  “I told you I’m not good at that kind of thing! You can’t even talk, Gav. Your apartment is the same way.” Well almost. His apartment is about a hundred times nicer than mine, and pictures of him and his brothers line the walls.

  “Yeah, I guess so. I don’t know. It doesn’t feel like a home to me.”

  I hand him my overnight bag and grab my backpack.

  “It’s not supposed to,” I say. “This is just a resting place. Once I graduate, I’ll find a home. For now, I just need somewhere to sleep, shower, and microwave popcorn.”

  He shrugs his shoulders, but I still feel like something isn’t right.

  “You wanna see my girly shit?” I ask, laughing. “Look in my nightstand.”

  “No thanks. I’d rather not meet my competition up close and personal.”

  “Oh, don’t be silly. If it was a competition, you’d win by a yard.” I wink.

  He stands in the living room in silence as I fiddle around, making sure I have everything I need for the work day.

  “Alright, I think I’m ready to go,” I say, doing a quick once-over of the place. I leave the nightstand lamp on. It’s not like it will keep anyone from robbing the place, but even if they wanted to, there’s not much they would find.

  The ride to the hospital is bittersweet, but in a different way. The last time we did this, I had basically told him I never wanted to see him again, but this time, I’m sad because I don’t want him to leave. He pulls into a parking spot near the back of the lot and I put my overnight bag in the back seat of his truck and lean in to kiss him goodbye.

  “9:30?” he asks me.

  “Barring nobody chops their head off. I’ll keep you posted.”

  He hugs me tight to his body and I don’t want him to ever let me go, but the clock is ticking. I hope nobody chops their head off. Or their arm. Or anything for that matter. After the last few days, I’m hoping just to lock myself in the office and not make eye contact. Lord knows if any word got out about my recent activities, I’d have a world of explaining to do.

  “You better get out of here,” he says, looking around suspiciously. “Wouldn’t want any of your fancy hospital friends thinking you were slumming it with a thug like me.”

  “You’re ridiculous,” I tell him. “Being with you is anything but slumming it. More like a major life upgrade.”

  “Yeah, but I’m worried about that Goob shit. I don’t want them to point fingers at you.”

  I shrug. “I have a pretty good alibi.”

  One more kiss that I wish would never end, and I walk into the hospital, a huge smile draped around my face and butterflies in my stomach that just don’t seem to quit whenever he’s around.

  That doesn’t last long. I slip in through the corridor, trying to keep my head down low. It’s been a whirlwind of days, and I really don’t know how I’m going to answer any questions that would’ve possibly popped up.

  “Where have YOU been?” Carol asks in a high-pitched voice dripping with a joking kind of judgement like she knows something.

  “It was my weekend. Why do you ask?” I snap back.

  “Jeez, girl. You don’t have to bite my head off. I just noticed your car never left the parking
lot and I thought maybe you’d have something juicy to tell me.”

  I have a whole lot of juicy, but I’m not telling her anything.

  “Sorry. I didn’t sleep too well last night,” I lie. I slept great last night.

  Something about being back here has me in a mood. Maybe I just need coffee.

  “Hey, before you run off, there’s been a guy here looking for you. Good-looking, about your age, I wrote his name down,” she says, shuffling through a stack of papers on her desk.

  I can only imagine who it would be. Everyone is good-looking to Carol. For some reason, menopause has turned her into a horny maniac.

  “Scott Brighton ring any bells?” she asks.

  It takes everything in my power to try and keep expressionless. It doesn’t ring any bells. It rings every bell. Officer Scott Brighton was the cop who worked my case with Arthur.

  “I dunno,” I say cautiously. “Did he say what he wanted?”

  Suddenly I feel very cold. I normally love the temperature of the hospital, but I am shivering. Why is there a cop in my workplace? Did someone see something or say something they shouldn’t have?

  Maybe they’re looking for Olive and having trouble tracking her down.

  That seems plausible.

  We’ve been best friends our whole lives and Scott went to high school with us.

  I could cover for her.

  I take shallow short breaths and try to center myself.

  “He didn’t say anything. Just that you’d know how to get in touch with him.”

  I burned his business card a long time ago. Burned every trace of that period in my life, along with the family photos that Gavin so observantly pointed out. They’re missing for a reason.

  “Whatever. He probably just has me mixed up with someone else.”

  “I don’t know, Sloan. He knew your car. He’s the one that pointed out to me that it was still parked here.”

  “He’s just a creep, Carol. If he comes back, tell him to leave me alone.”