A World of Expectations_Book 2_The Confrontation

by Gayle Lynn Messick

  Darcy strolled around the room for several minutes before stopping at the window. Well, I definitely declared my intentions tonight! She can have no doubt as to my desires now. He forgot all thoughts of the uncle from Cheapside as he sipped his brandy and planned how he would spend his remaining time with her.

  ***

  Darcy climbed up the front steps and waited while the young servant opened the door. She led him to the parlor where he expected to find the ladies of the house embroidering, reading, or writing letters. When he entered the room, his heart pounded. He observed only Elizabeth, standing to greet him in an otherwise empty room.

  He apologized for his intrusion, letting her know that he had understood all the ladies to be at home.

  After the usual civilities were exchanged, they sat down. He had just settled in the chair when his body stiffened at her question of why the Netherfield party had left so quickly and followed Bingley to town.

  “I can only speak for myself. I had business matters that needed my attention.” He relaxed when she changed the subject to Bingley’s sisters’ well being.

  For several minutes, he was content to gaze at her. She held her shoulders straight and placed her hands delicately in her lap. Poise. She is overflowing with poise. His gaze traveled down the length of her body and back upwards. She does have a light and pleasing figure and her… Darcy looked away to conceal his face when he felt his cheeks burning after his gaze had wandered to the spot where the neckline and skin met. Today he confessed that he was disappointed to see a strip of lace added to her dress.

  “I think I have understood that Mr. Bingley has not much idea of ever returning to Netherfield again,”Elizabeth asked.

  Darcy squirmed in his seat. “I have never heard him say so; but it is probable that he may spend little of his time there in future.” He saw her startle, and offered an explanation. “He has friends, and he is at a time of life when friends and engagements are continually increasing.”

  He paid no attention to tight-lipped smile; instead, he studied how straight she held her head and how she pushed her shoulders back and leaned away from him. She must be fighting her desire to draw close to me.

  “If he means to be but little at Netherfield, it would be better for the neighborhood that he should give up the place entirely, for then we might possibly get a settled family there.” She looked down at her hands, which were resting in her lap. “But perhaps Mr. Bingley did not take the house so much for the convenience of Meryton as for his own, and we must expect him to keep or quit it on the same principle.”

  Darcy shrugged. “I should not be surprised if he were to give it up, as soon as any eligible purchase offers.”

  Even though Elizabeth made no answer, he enjoyed the play of emotions crossing her face. Her expression went from taut and harsh to a softer more relaxed one. He examined her eyes, seeking the playfulness that appeared when she spoke to other men. He saw an unreadable blankness in them. Yes, she is excellent at controlling her emotions.

  Remembering her suggestion to practice his social niceties, he searched the room for a subject to discuss. “This seems a very comfortable house. Lady Catherine, I believe, did a great deal to it when Mr. Collins first came to Hunsford.”

  He watched her lips move in a gentle motion as she continued. However, he was surprised when she responded to his suggestion that Mrs. Collins had settled within so easy a distance from her own family and friends.

  “An easy distance do you call it? It is nearly fifty miles.”

  “And what is fifty miles of good road? Little more than half a day's journey. Yes, I call it a very easy distance.” She must agree that she need not be settled near Longbourn.

  He leaned back and waited for her volley. When she expressed her opinion of how close one should live to one’s family, his heart pounded furiously. “You cannot have a right to such strong local attachment. You cannot have been always at Longbourn.”

  Elizabeth looked surprised and a bit offended.

  He drew back in his chair, picked up a newspaper from the table and glanced at it. “Are you pleased with Kent?"

  A short dialogue on the subject of the country ensued, on either side calm and concise—and soon put an end to by the entrance of Charlotte, just returned from her walk. Mr. Darcy related the mistake, which had occasioned his intruding on Miss Bennet, and after sitting a few minutes longer without saying much to anybody, went away.

  ***

  Over the next week, Darcy regularly called upon the ladies at the parsonage. He was amazed at Elizabeth’s composure. She is the most proper lady of my acquaintance. No silly flirting for her. She needs no wiles to capture my heart. Fearing others would notice their attraction to each other, and not wishing to place Miss Elizabeth in any awkward situation, he kept his visits short.

  When his cousin accompanied him, he used Richmond to stay longer, contented to sit and watch her smile, laugh, and talk, all the while catching sight of her sly glances towards him. His heart pounded so loudly he had to concentrate hard to quell it. He had no doubt she understood his darkened stares were to help control his feelings in front of others. She would raise that brow and smile slightly, tight-lipped. Ah. That is her look she reserves for me alone. She is clever, perhaps the most astute lady in all of England. I do not have to explain my meanings to her.

  Several times, he caught Mrs. Collins staring at him. I must be careful. She is suspicious. She may have acted foolishly in marrying such a man as the parson, but she is no fool. I will protect Elizabeth. Darcy turned slowly and gazed at the young lady smiling sweetly to Richmond. My Elizabeth. No one shall know, my dearest, until you want it known.

  ***

  During the days that followed, Darcy was at his happiest when he came upon her rambling about the estate.

  She was so clever to share the location for her favorite walks. He sought her out every day the weather permitted a walk. When they accidentally discovered each other, he would offer his arm and escort her back to the parsonage. Staring at her hand, he was tempted to take it and place small kisses upon her fingers, whereupon his mouth would dry up each time he visualized touching her skin with his lips. The sound of his heart beating thundered in his ears.

  At night, he berated himself for his inability to string a complete sentence together when in her presence. He was pleased Elizabeth spoke little, and did not demand he engage in frivolous chit-chat. She knows me better than I know myself. But, she did say I must practice. I need practice. With his nightly brandy in one hand and his other held behind his back, Darcy stood in front of the window and practiced talking aloud on various subjects.

  “Miss Bennet, I hope you find Rosings’ grounds pleasant, or do you prefer something more natural?”

  “Miss Bennet, were you trained in Greek studies? Who is your favorite philosopher?”

  “Miss Bennet, am I correct that you are an admirer of walks in the countryside? Do you study the animals or the greenery?”

  “Miss Bennet, does it not appear to you that Mr. and Mrs. Collins are well suited for one another?”

  “Miss Bennet, you look lovely today. The green in your gown highlights the green specks sparkling in your eyes. The lavender scent fills my nostrils with joy. The softness of your skin causes my heart to beat furiously.” Bah! What drivel! I cannot say such things to a woman.

  By their third encounter, he had finally found his voice. At first, he did not say the words he had practiced, but rambled on several subjects. He was surprised at her questioning look when he spoke of Rosings, and how she would be staying there too whenever they came into Kent. Surely, she does not expect us to stay at Hunsford!

  Satisfied he had given her leave to fantasize about their future together; he returned to Rosings and roamed around the house. He evaluated each room as to its suitability for a proposal, and quickly decided upon the balcony off the drawing room as the perfect spot. Pushing away thoughts of a different balcony and a different man holding Elizabeth’s hand, h
e rushed to scrutinize the space. First, he looked forward to the breathing in the lavender fragrance, which would permeate the air. He first noticed it climbing the stairs to the assembly hall in Meryton. From the beginning, he thought, we were destined for each other.

  “Now, how do I get her out here and all alone?” Darcy leaned against the railing, probing his mind to find a ploy until he spied an unusual unusual among the oaks. Ah ha! I will ask her to help me identify that one. He stared at the tree with its perfect blossoming heart-shaped leaves. Yes, it is unusual enough that it would not seem odd. I did not know its name, and yet it is not that uncommon she would be at a loss. She might say it is a lime tree, of which I could tease her with its Latin name, Tilia. Then, I will tell her I wish to speak seriously. Yes, that is how I will approach her.

  The next day, Darcy dressed with care, choosing his blackest jackets and the whitest shirts. He looked himself over in the reflecting glass, first turning sideways, and then looking over his shoulder to view himself from every angle. The gold flecks in his blue waistcoat sparkled to match the gold specks in her eyes. Finally, running his fingers through his dark curly hair, he laughed. “Blake with his blond hair and fair looks did not win this race.”

  Breathing deeply three times, he calmed his nerves and left to join the others in the drawing room; but when he reached the top of the stairs, he overheard Mr. Collins apologize that Miss Bennet was not well and would not be attending.

  Darcy grabbed the handrail and squeezed until his hands ached. Pleased that no one had noticed him, he quietly retreated to his bedchambers, where he marched up and down the rug, mumbling as he went.

  After a quarter of an hour, he came to an abrupt halt and a wide smile stretched across his face. “She is clever, I understand it now. She is giving me the chance to come to her without fear of others being present. I must see her tonight. I must.”

  Darcy promptly left his room, dashed down the steps, and found himself advancing in his long strides along the path towards the Hunsford parsonage.

  “I will propose tonight, and tomorrow she will be introduced as my future bride. Nothing will stop me now.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  I ardently admire and love you.”

  Darcy’s words rang out proudly, his hands open at his side, and his shoulders relaxed. His heart pounded with such great force that he feared the sound boomed across the room. When she did not respond, he shifted his weight from one foot to the other and only calmed when he supposed that she wanted him to continue!

  He moved closer to her, his gaze scanning her body while half-ignoring her backward retreat to the window. She stood tall with her back against the windowsill, her hands grasped in a tight hold in front of her. She is waiting. What must I say now? Perhaps if I explain how hard this was for me to choose her, my admission will demonstrate my deep and abiding love for her.

  “I have long admired you. Ever since we first met, I witnessed your grace in spite of your family’s ill-mannered behavior.” He noticed how she flinched. Yes, she is as embarrassed by them as I am. I must show her how I have overcome my disgust, but I must try to be kind as I speak the truth.

  “Miss Bennet, although your family is inferior to any whom I would wish as a connection, I decided to overlook any degradation the joining of our families would bring.” He lowered his voice and relaxed his expression. “Even though many of my acquaintances may not consider you acceptable as the Mistress of Pemberley, I must respond to my desire, which grows stronger with each day. I cannot deny my feelings for you despite my beliefs, my duty, and my obligations. In seeking you out, I am disregarding what I know I should do; nonetheless, I will accept the consequences. And while the Bennets may never be permitted to attend my family’s social gatherings, you, as my wife, will be by my side. I promise you that I will demand they accept you, treat you with respect that would be due Mrs. Darcy, and not dishonor you in any way in my presence.”

  Her eyelids narrowed and hands tightened during his speech. She must be impatient for the offer, he thought, and moving forward. The hint of a smile slipped out. “It is with great hope, therefore, that I humbly ask you to accept my offer of marriage.” Standing within inches in front of her, he lowered his chin and spread his arms to welcome her into his embrace. He readied his lips for the kiss he had so long sought and moved another step closer.

  Elizabeth held up her open palm and stopped him from leaning down.

  He retreated to the fireplace and leaned against the mantle. She must be desirous of explaining how she longed for my offer and how she hid her love. I spoke my mind, now it is her turn. I will give her the opportunity to show her love. He nodded for her to speak.

  “In such cases as this, it is, I believe, the established mode to express a sense of obligation for the sentiments avowed, however unequally they may be returned. It is natural that obligation should be felt, and if I could feel gratitude, I would now thank you. But I cannot—I have never desired your good opinion, and you have certainly bestowed it most unwillingly. I am sorry to have occasioned pain to any one. It has been most unconsciously done, however, and I hope will be of short duration. The feelings which, you tell me, have long prevented the acknowledgment of your regard, can have little difficulty in overcoming it after this explanation.”

  What? What did she say? He grabbed the mantle while his mind processed her words. Did she reject me? Me? But she loves me. Why would she deny me? Is she playing a game? I heard many women first say no before they accept. I did not think she was such a woman. While comprehension of the truth of her wordsinhabited his thoughts, he had difficulty swallowing. He studied her. Her hands had fallen to her sides; her shoulders thrown back, and her own chin was raised defiantly. This is no game. She meant it. She will not accept my offer. Who is she to reject me? A country nobody.

  His cheeks burned. He felt the humiliation of the rejection, but a tone of anger crept in his voice. “And this is all the reply which I am to have the honor of expecting! I might, perhaps, wish to be informed why, with so little endeavor at civility, I am thus rejected.”

  When she did not recoil at his request, he lifted his head, and with the coldest and his most haughty attitude said, “But it is of small importance.” Yes, a wounded animal must not show weakness if he wishes to survive.

  In response, her words flew from her mouth in a ferocious, but controlled voice and a tone he had never heard used to address him before. She spoke of his separating Bingley and her beloved sister, quickly moving on with her next accusation to his unfair treatment of Wickham, and then finally, and to his astonishment, his alleged manipulation of Blake.

  “Did you detach your friend, Lord Blake, from me as well? Did you persuade him to leave Netherfield Park and never to contact me again?” Elizabeth tilted her head but did not lower her cold stare or lessen the anger directed at him. “Are you the conductor of every one’s life?”

  He experienced a stabbing pain in his heart and responded with a, “No, of course not,” but her quick reaction caused him to stop dead in his tracks.

  “And if that is not enough, you showed your complete and total disregard for my family long before you spoke today in such an ungentleman-like manner. You have already proven yourself as an unfeeling person when you asked if my father had a book on gas lighting.

  Why does she find gas lighting offensive? As he attempted to recall the exact event, she unleashed the rest of her accusations.

  Elizabeth grabbed the back of the chair. “You showed your true character that day. I do not know how you found out our fortune was lost over an investment in gas lighting, but I thought your comment insensitive and cruel, mocking me and my father in that way.”

  Unable to control the surprised reaction he knowingly revealed by his eyes, mouth, and stance, he answered in an unrestrained agitated tone. “Your father? He may have acted foolishly, but I bear no ill feelings toward him. Mr. Gardiner convinced him to invest, so he should be the one to blame! Your uncle is the dishon
est one.”