The Gallows at Midnight
Page 18
Strong arms snake around my stomach, and I chuckle as Dresden lightly kisses my shoulder. I don’t have to see his face to know it’s him. That energy is all I felt for the year we hunted together. He’s easy to spot now. And he’s Blake’s inner demon, too. Though we’ve made it clear nothing happened during that year, the night Dres and I hooked up changed something in Blake. It made him vulnerable. Before then, he was the only man I’d ever wanted. Even though Dres was just one night, Blake had to face that I’d wanted someone else for a second.
It was a hard truth to swallow for him.
“Morning,” I say as he releases me and flops onto the stool beside me.
“Hey.” He swipes his hand down his face. His eyebrows pull upward slightly as he glances between my hunting knife and my face. “Lily. You okay?”
“Yeah, why?” It’s too early for the concerned best friend routine today.
“Last time I found you at a table playing with that knife, some really bad shit had just happened.”
I tilt my head, thinking about that day again. He’s got a point. “True. At least now you know why you couldn’t touch me back then.”
He laughs; more a snicker than anything else as he stands up, crossing behind me. I jump a little as his breath tickles my ear. “Yep. And since then I’ve touched you in ways I’d never even dreamed about.”
A shiver runs down my spine as his hand touches my shoulder. I belong with Blake, but Dresden is a damn good man, and he’d be my second choice in a heartbeat.
A deep, gruff sound startles both of us, and we turn to find Blake a few feet back, eyes ablaze with jealousy, staring at us.
Oh, that couldn’t be more perfect.
My plan launched itself into play without my having to make it happen. Dresden leans down and softly kisses the top of my head, whispering he’ll talk to me later as he makes his way back toward his and Shannon’s room.
I turn my head enough to keep Blake in my peripheral, pretending to watch Dresden walk away. It’s almost comical how easily Blake gets jealous. It kind of pissed me off considering he should know, despite everything, he’s the only one for me.
As he walks toward me, his shoes clacking off the kitchen floor, I swivel my stool to face forward as he stops behind me. The tension radiates off him and without warning he grabs the stool and spins me to face him.
“Morning, dear,” I say with a sneer. He’s going to regret using sex as a weapon with me, that’s for damn sure.
“Morning,” he says crossing his arms over his chest and taking a step closer, pushing himself between my legs.
It’s like all the blood in my body pools in my sex. “Do you need something, or do you just enjoy invading my space and glaring daggers at me?” I push him back with my body as I stand up and start walking toward our bedroom.
“Where the fuck are you going?” He’s hot on my trail, his shoes echoing even louder.
“Upstairs. I forgot my phone when I came down. I want to see if Rhett wants to hang out.”
“Rhett? Since when do you text your team to hang out?”
I open the bedroom door without looking behind me. Three steps into the room and the door slams closed.
“I usually don’t, but I haven’t seen him much. I miss his face.” With my back still to Blake, I smile, knowing how red his must be.
“You’re trying to make me jealous. Don’t think I don’t know you, Lily.” His voice is low and pissed.
“I’m not trying to make you anything, Blake.” I grab the towel hanging on a knob of the dresser and make my way to the bathroom. I know Blake’s quietly behind me, trying to figure out what my next move is. “I mean, Rhett was supposed to help Vlad with some orders for Interpol today, and Shannon is doing baby shopping online. Maybe I’ll just hang with Dres for the day.”
Sliding my pants to the floor and pulling my shirt over my head, I step into the shower and kick on the water. It’s freezing at first, raising goosebumps over my skin, but quickly warms as tough fingers trail lightly down my spine. I shiver and his lips brush my shoulder moving toward my neck. His hand tangles gently in my hair as he flicks his tongue out to draw in my earlobe.
“We both know you’re not going to fuck anyone but me,” he says, tightening his grip on my hair as he moves his other hand to hover over my sex. “And I’d have fucked you every day if you weren’t hiding something from me.”
I sigh and force myself out of his embrace. Turning around, I lock eyes with him. “Blake, do you trust me?”
His eyebrows shoot up and his back straightens, all sexual playfulness gone. “Of course, I do. Why would you ask that?”
I reach out and lay my hand on his chest, over his heart. “Then you need to trust that if I’m withholding something from you, it’s for a reason. You have to trust that everything I do is for you, and for us. I know what I’m doing.”
He places his hand over mine and shakes his head, looking down at the floor. “I’m terrified to lose you again.”
My heart melts at the brokenness of his voice. We’ve come so far together, but we still have a million miles to go. I step forward, putting my body against his, sliding my hand up to tilt his chin so he looks at me. “That’s never gonna happen.”
He kisses me and within moments, he’s lifted me, entered me, and fucks me at a steady pace against the front wall of the shower, the water spraying down onto us. Nothing has ever felt so good.
†††
An hour later, we’re re-dressed and having a late breakfast together in the kitchen. Things are quiet lately and that tends to make me nervous. Every day I expect Jameson and Samuel to walk in the room to update me on something, but they don’t. I hide it better than the others, but remembering they’re gone is like someone ripping an old wound open with their bare hands.
I miss them.
Now that Blake and I are okay again, and I’ve set him at ease somewhat, maybe pulling off this mission will be easier. I feel bad for using trust as a way to lie to him, but it’s important. I have to do this on my own.
Sammi catches my attention over Blake’s shoulder and motions for me to follow her. I stand quietly and kiss Blake’s shoulder as I walk past him. He stares at me as I walk away, I can feel it, but says nothing.
Sammi keeps her hand on the door and steps to the side, closing it quickly after I enter— the lock clicking ominously, sealing us temporarily in the room.
“I’ve found it,” she says, swiping a piece of paper off her desk.
“Found what,” I say puzzled as she hands me the paper before pacing between me and her desk.
“A drug to use. To knock everyone out long enough for you to get away.” She stops moving long enough to make eye contact.
My heart races as I read the paper she’s given me.
Midazolam. Used mainly for minor surgical procedures. 1-4mg depending on the weight of the patient. Lasts 1-6 hours.
“Sammi, you’re a genius. How does it have to be given to them?”
“It can be done in several ways. Putting it in their drinks and finding a way for everyone to drink it at the same time might be easiest. I don’t really want to try to stick Vlad or Dresden with a needle.” She grimaces, shaking her head from side to side.
“Yeah, me neither. We’re gonna need help.”
“Who would even consider helping us with this shit? Come on, Lil.”
“Teresa,” I say, more under my breath than to Sammi.
“Teresa? You’re kidding? She’s loyal to Blake. She’s not going to help you drug and lie to the man. He pays her salary, remember?”
“She’s done it once before. She’ll do it again.” I stare at Sammi, the realization that this is going to work. “Order it. Make sure you get the package and no one else. If anyone else finds out you have a tranquilizer, you better come up with a damn good lie.”
“I will. You can trust me, Lily.” She stands straighter.
“And burn this,” I say, holding the paper out toward her.
 
; She slides into her office chair after tossing the paper into the low burning embers of her fireplace. “Go. Before they come in here wanting to know what we’re up to.”
I can’t help but smile at her as she swivels to face her screens. How do I stay angry at someone who betrayed me for all the right reasons? If I’d been in Sammi’s shoes, and it was Sorina on the line—
Sammi is still family. And once again, she’s helping me with a task I can’t trust anyone else with.
26
~Sammi~
The shipment of Midazolam is scheduled to be here within the next 3-5 days. My contacts in the pharmaceutical industry come in handy from time to time. I ordered tablets and liquid form. Lily and I seriously need to discuss a plan to dose everyone, because I’m not getting my ass beat by Dresden . . . or Vlad.
A few months ago, my relationship with Vlad would’ve reassured me of not fearing him. But since everything went down and we lost Jameson, he hardly even looks in my direction. When he does, I’m almost positive he’s contemplating killing me in my sleep. We still share a room, but he’s slept on the futon, while I’m alone in the bed.
I don’t regret doing everything to save my daughter. But hurting the man I fell in love with, and the people I hold as family is the single worst thing I’ve ever done in my life. Lily deserves better from me. She’s risked her life repeatedly for all of us, and I repaid her with betrayal. Helping her accomplish this mission is the least I can do to win back her trust, and show her how sorry I am.
I scroll through the shipment status email one more time before closing everything out. Normally, I’d delete any and all traces of this, but to double guard Lily’s ass in the event our team comes snooping, I encrypted every mouse click with a series of passwords. It recycles the same three every time you try to click to open anything on my hard drive. Our team is intelligent, but they’re not hackers. No one’s getting through the encryption.
A gruff cough startles me and I jump, turning quickly toward the sound. Vlad stands a few feet behind me, his arms crossed over his massive chest and a look on his face that screams, Go fuck yourself.
What in the vag? This should be interesting.
“Did you need something?” I ask, spinning back toward my monitor to finish closing the screens down.
I know he’s staring at the back of my head. It’s like a weird energy pulse and it’s uncomfortable coming from him.
“I’d appreciate it if you faced me when I talk to you.” His voice is low and controlled. Two things that, with Vlad, are worrisome to say the least.
My shoulders slump forward as I sigh and spin my chair toward him. I’m surprised that his look softens just a fraction when our eyes meet, but there’s no denying the fury in those irises.
“What do you want to say, mate? At this point, I’d be ‘ight if ya just kicked my ass and got it over with.” I shrug, unable to put anymore movement into caring about what happens next.
“I don’t want to kick your ass, Sammi. God, you’re fucking stupid sometimes.” His lips pull back in a grimace and I’m just blankly staring at him . . . confused.
Wait . . . what?
He takes a determined step forward but stops abruptly as if he’s walked into an imaginary wall. “I love you. But, god, I hate you right now. You lied to me. You lied to the team. This team is supposed to trust each other. Between Hayato, and now this shit with Jax . . . you being a fucking . . . rat, just makes it that much harder for us all.”
The tears sting my eyes. “I know, and I’— “
“No! You don’t know. Every time we catch someone in a lie, the rest of us trust each other a little less. I trust Rhett and Dres a little less. Lily trusts us ALL a little less. What the hell does this team have if we can’t trust each other?”
He’s right. As much as I want to say I did this for my daughter and they should understand, the effect is still the same. Every time we lie, we fall a little further apart. At a time when we need to stand closer together.
“I love you, Vlad. I’m not going to apologize again, because it doesn’t change anything. You’re right. This team, partly because of my actions, is falling apart when we can’t afford to. All I can tell you is I’ll wait for as long as it takes to make this right again. To make us right.”
The tears finally slide slowly down my cheeks and before I can process it, Vlad is across the room, and his lips slam into mine as he sinks to his knees to match my sitting height.
After a moment he rests his forehead on mine and sighs. “It’s going to take a while. But eventually, we’ll be okay.”
†††
~Lily~
12 days left.
“We found at least twelve different dresses that would look good. Picking one is the hard part . . . for you at least,” Shannon says as she leans back in her chair, hand rubbing small circles across the front of her growing belly.
I can’t help but stare. I never understood the saying that pregnant women “glow”, but I think after watching Shannon’s pregnancy progress, I get it. She does look brighter. Happier. Though, there’s no denying the exhaustion in her eyes.
She, Sorina, and Teresa have spent the first 25 minutes of dinner rambling on about wedding planning. I’m trying my best to seem enthused, but the nagging feeling of what I’m about to do in 12 days is making it more difficult than I imagined.
Blake’s hardly said two words since we sat down to eat. He thinks I don’t notice the subtle glances between him, Dres, and Vlad— but I do. They’re trying to figure out what I’m up to, and they’re failing at it. Someone would’ve cussed me out and confronted me already if they even had a working theory.
It’s almost cute— the three of them trying to play Sherlock Holmes behind my back.
“What if I don’t want to wear a dress?”
I stare at Blake, ignoring the gasps and choking sounds coming from the girls. The table is silent, and finally, he turns his eyes to me.
“Sorry, what?” he says, his voice deep and unfocused.
“Your sister is talking about the million wedding dresses they’ve found for me to choose from. I said, what if I don’t want to wear a dress?”
He looks over my shoulder, confusion written all over his lovely face. He settles back on me, tilting his head to the side. “Honestly Lily, I don’t give a fuck if you show up wearing a housecoat, just as long as you show up and marry me.”
A lump forms in my throat. There’s no humor in his tone, no playfulness in his eyes. I miss him trying to lighten the mood all the time. Slowly, I take my hand from my lap and set it on his, atop the table.
“I’ve waited my entire life for you, Mr. Mason. The last thing I’d do is miss our wedding.”
His eyes soften just a little before he leans over and presses his forehead to mine. He squeezes my hand and whispers, “I love you” in my ear.
“I love you, too,” I say around the ever-growing panic rising in my chest.
Blake deserves so much better than me— than this. I’m just too damn selfish to let him go again.
As Blake straightens up, the table erupts in chatter and laughter. Dresden, Blake, and Hastin launch into an animated conversation about the underlying meanings of the Winnie the Pooh characters, which draws everyone’s attention and insane amounts of laughter.
Something makes my hair stand on end, and I scan the faces, finally landing on Sammi. She nods her head so slightly it’s unlikely anyone else has noticed. I mimic the movement to convey to her that our plans haven’t changed.
She takes a deep breath, her shoulders rising and falling in almost a defeated way. Just before I go to turn away, Dresden’s glare catches my attention. He stares at me for a moment, looks at Sammi, and then back to me— his face solid as stone.
I attempt a smile, but there’s no doubt about it now— Dresden knows Sammi and I are up to something.
†††
~Blake~
The bourbon is smooth and comforting as it slides down my throat. D
resden, Vlad, Hastin, and I are lounging in the entertainment room. Lily went to relax in the tub, and everyone else is off doing whatever. I couldn’t care less right now. I’d rather be upstairs, buried balls deep in my fiancée, but something tells me she needs some time to herself.
“That bitch is up to something,” Dresden says as he sits back in his leather chair, crossing one leg over his knee.
“Watch it,” I snap. I know he’s angry with Lily, but the name-calling every time he gets mad is starting to piss me off.
“Fuck that, Mason. You didn’t see what I saw at dinner. I’ll call her whatever I want until I find out what she’s planning.”
“Maybe we’re overreacting,” Hastin says as he stands and takes my place at the bar.
I lean against the wall, staring at the dark amber liquid in my glass. “You don’t really believe that, Hastin.”
He sighs loudly and pinches the bridge of his nose. “No, I don’t. But I also know that the more pressure we put on her trying to figure it out, the better she’ll hide it. I’ve been Lily’s psychiatrist for 11 years. Believe it or not, I know more about her than you all do.”
Vlad and Dresden both give a grunt, showing their opinion of Hastin’s statement.
“I can’t tell if Sammi is lying or not,” Vlad says before draining his glass. “Before finding out about everything, I would’ve been able to tell.”
I also drain my glass and set it loudly on the table. “Okay, so where does that leave us? Maybe Hastin is right about letting up on the pressure.”
“And do what? Just let her be stupid like it isn’t going to affect everyone in this house?” Dresden uncrossed his legs and sits forward. “Mark my words. She’s planning something big and something really stupid. If it doesn’t get her killed, it’s going to tear this group apart. I know her. I can feel it when something isn’t right. Vlad can too.”
I look over at Vlad as he sits slumped in his chair. Dresden is right. I can feel it too. In the way she sleeps, the way she kisses me . . . everything seems off right now. Like she is waiting for a dam somewhere to break and us all to drown.