My Soul to Win

by Robin Roseau

  “For what purpose?”

  “For example, if I decide I would like to update my home and want to contact an architect, I need to work through someone I may contact. I am willing to pay for such services.”

  “Would you pay my standard rates, Nifili?” Kate asked.

  “I would pay in gold,” Nifili replied. “Or information. I believe we could reach an acceptable agreement.”

  “How urgent would your requests be?” I asked. “How can we arrange this so you do not intrude in an inopportune fashion?”

  “I can knock, so to speak, and then my agent would perform a ritual to contact me.”

  “Would I feel the ritual is evil in any way?”

  “No,” she said. “A pentagram. Candles. Salt. Incense. An invocation. There is no harm to any creature, and no binding of souls.”

  “How intrusive is your knock?”

  “It doesn’t need to be intrusive at all,” Nifili said. “And I would become insistent only if ignored.”

  “You could decide an hour’s delay is ‘being ignored’,” I pointed out.

  “I would decide a week is ‘being ignored’, but I might knock daily.”

  “Anyone you use as an agent has a life, Nifili,” I said. “That life may include times where performing rituals may be very difficult.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Vacations,” I said. “If someone takes a ocean cruise, and you knock the first day of the cruise, it may be very difficult for her to respond. That’s only an example. Or she may be sick and in the hospital. Life happens, Nifili. I’m sure we could envision a hundred reasons why responding to your knock could be problematic.”

  “Which is why I want more than one agent,” she said. “If one does not answer in a timely fashion, I would try the next. Teigan, my needs are rarely urgent, and I can be patient, but my patience is not without bounds. That is all.”

  “You may use me as an agent,” Kate said.

  “I want two others,” Nifili said. “You, Teigan.” Then she looked past me. “And Sue Ellen.”

  “No.”

  “That is what I want,” she said. “Why did you say ‘no’?”

  “I’d agree for myself,” I said, “although I do not know what is going to happen when this is done. I do not know if I will remain on Earth. I did die, after all.”

  She paused. “And you have experienced the human afterlife.”

  “Yes.”

  “And then returned to Earth.”

  “Yes.”

  “I believe I understand. Our agreement would be only as durable as your time on Earth, Teigan, or would resume if you depart Earth, and later return.”

  “For Kate, that’s a very long time.”

  “It may be for you as well,” she said. “But as I am offering to compensate you for your time, should that be a problem?”

  “It isn’t for me,” Kate said.

  “I’ll do it,” Sue Ellen offered.

  I turned to look at her. “You’re doing your share.”

  “She’d pay me,” Sue Ellen said. “I don’t mind getting Kate’s hourly rate.”

  Nifili snorted. “No. Katherine would receive her hourly rate. You would receive yours.”

  “I’m not doing anything for you for minimum wage,” Sue Ellen replied. “If you want my time, you’ll pay a fair rate.”

  “Of course I’ll pay a fair rate,” Nifili said. “I don’t understand what you mean by minimum wage.”

  “I’m a teenager. If I get a job, I only get paid the minimum required by law. I want what Kate makes.”

  “Well, you’re not going to get as much as a top lawyer,” Nifili said. “Be reasonable.”

  “Until she has advanced her own career, and one could argue for a higher rate, you will pay her what my paralegals would receive,” Kate offered.

  “Hmm,” Nifili said. “You have paralegals her age?”

  “No, but if you’re willing to pay me for my time, you’re willing to pay her at a paralegal’s rate. And you’ll pay Teigan at my rate. You must realize she represents a singular resource.”

  “As do you,” Nifili responded. She smiled. “Consultations are free.”

  “Then that goes both ways,” Kate replied. “If one of us chooses to contact you.”

  “Of course. And anything said between us during these conversations is entirely confidential.”

  “Almost,” Kate said. “Sue Ellen may need to talk to her mother. And the four of us may also talk. So talking to one of us could be the same as talking to the four of us.”

  “Then Marley must be party to this agreement,” Nifili declared. “Do we have a tentative agreement.”

  “Binding only after we have negotiated the fine print,” Kate said after a nod from me, Marley, and Sue Ellen.”

  “Of course,” Nifili said. “Under the terms outlined, and presuming you tell me why you wish to meet with Tienbellart, I will arrange a meeting.”

  “Where?” I asked

  “I will suggest Tienbellart’s domain.”

  “Do you expect to attend?”

  “Does that change the nature of our agreement?” she asked.

  “No.”

  “Do you mind if I attend?”

  “Actually, I think I’d be pleased if you did. Would you assist in negotiations?”

  “I don’t know. I need the full details.”

  I nodded and looked at Kate. She nodded, and so I said, “Kate, please negotiate the fine print.”

  It didn’t take as long as it could have, perhaps twenty minutes. The terms were fair, and Kate did a good job protecting us. We signed the agreed papers.

  I told Nifili everything, absolutely everything. She laughed several times and seemed quite surprised at others. Finally, I wound down. She leaned back. “You realize Tienbellart may not have Evaline.”

  “Perhaps not, but it’s the logical next link to her. What is next, Nifili?”

  “First, you give me the container of cookies.” She smiled. “Then I will tell you everything I know about Tienbellart that I consider relevant.”

  “Could we have a short break?” Naomi asked. “Do you have a bathroom, Nifili?”

  “I do,” she said. “Perhaps you could use a refreshment.”

  “We brought food and water,” I said.

  “Well then,” she replied. “We have a plan.”

  * * * *

  We took our break, and when we returned, Nifili had constructed a dining table. We had a bite to eat, and Nifili talked.

  “The concept of male or female is meaningless with demons,” she began. “We do not reproduce in that fashion. Some of us are able to alter our bodies significantly; some of us cannot, and are tied to the form when we were created. There are countless factors involved, including how we were created, who created us, and our own individual power.”

  “I don’t understand,” Sue Ellen said. “What do you mean, how you were created?”

  “There are three basic ways,” Nifili said. “Some of us were once angels.”

  “Fallen angels,” Sue Ellen said.

  Nifili inclined her head but then said, “We don’t use that phrase, but I understand why you do. As such, we were created directly by the one we don’t mention here, and we tend to be locked to the form we held when we came to Hell. This was not my appearance as an angel, but if you saw me then and were to see me now, you would recognize me.”

  She let that hang out there, and then Sue Ellen said in a subdued tone, “I think I understand.”

  “The second way we are created is by a particularly powerful demon. I have never done this, and it takes a significant amount of power. I believe I could do this if I wished, but I have never wanted to invest the amount of power required.”

  “And the third way?” Kate prompted.

  “The vast majority of human souls who come to us become the lost souls you have seen. But from time to time, the person who claims the soul will give that soul a body, and it becomes a demon. The pr
ocess is similar to the second method, but requires less energy. It does, however, require a sufficiently corrupt soul.”

  “Does the person have a choice?” Sue Ellen asked.

  “Not usually.”

  She nodded. Nifili paused, looking around, then went on. “Tienbellart was once an angel. I want to be careful which pronoun I use, and you will need to be careful as well. Tienbellart is not clearly of one gender or the other but typically chooses to present as one or the other at any particular time. The last time we were together, the proper pronoun was ‘he’. He doesn’t prefer any of the gender-neutral pronouns, and will become vexed if anyone uses one, or if you use the wrong one.”

  “Important note,” Kate said.

  “Generally speaking, it is best to use the most recent pronoun that seems to fit, so I will use ‘he’. I will also be very careful in my communications, as it may not be obvious which is appropriate.”

  “Understood,” I said.

  “He, like most of us who were once angels, has only limited control over his appearance. Regardless of whether he is presenting as male or female, or perhaps leaving you to guess, he will be very tall and powerful. Furthermore, everything in his home will be sized for his comfort, and you will find everything oversized. If he is feeling benevolent, he may make some alterations for you, but he has never done so for me. Granted, we do not routinely socialize.”

  Nifili then spent several minutes explaining Tienbellart’s home, but I’ll save that explanation for later. And then she said, “He is meticulous in his dealings and can be very literal. I can arrange a meeting, but unless you offer a gift, he may not be forthcoming. He is fond of art.”

  “What type of art?”

  “On that, his tastes are quite eclectic, however, I have heard him offer disparaging remarks regarding modern impressionism.”

  “Would such a gift need to be from one of the great masters?” Kate asked.

  “Not at all. It must simply sing to him, in some way. If the work pleases you, there is every chance it would please him. A commission specifically for him would especially suit, but of course, you do not wish to wait so long. I do not recommend anything with a religious theme based on any of the Abrahamic religions.”

  “Christianity, Islam, or Jewish,” Sue Ellen said.

  “Quite correct.”

  “Is this a case where size matters?” Kate asked. “Especially as you said everything in his home is sized for his convenience.”

  “No. It is the quality that matters,” Nifili replied.

  She talked for another half hour, and answered other questions for a while after that. Finally, with a look around first, I nodded. “Thank you, Nifili.”

  “You are welcome, Teigan. It will take me some time to arrange a meeting.”

  “Weeks?”

  “No, I wouldn’t think so. A day or three, and then perhaps a day or three more. I will knock when I have arrangements. Now I should teach three of you how to contact me.”

  Pentagram

  It was in the morning, four days later, before I felt Nifili’s ‘knock’. She was quite polite, but it was clear she was knocking. I immediately called Kate, who said simply, “I’m on my way.”

  “Wait. She’s just going to tell me when we’re meeting.”

  “I’m on my way. I’ll be there in a half hour. You should call Sue Ellen.”

  “I’ll call Marley and let her decide.”

  “All right. I’ll see you in a half hour.”

  We clicked off. Marley answered on the second ring. “Miss me already?” she asked.

  “Nifili is knocking,” I said. “I called Kate. She told me to call Sue Ellen.”

  “We need to call her,” Marley said. “From the church?”

  “I was thinking of somewhere else.” I told her. “We can talk to the demon and call her back if Sue Ellen needs to be there.”

  “Sure.”

  * * * *

  I stood alone on the stage at Club Vixen. It had been 25 years since I’d last been here, and several since the doors had closed, possibly for good. I brushed a tear away, my back to Marley and Kate.

  Finally, I turned around. “Where, Marley?”

  “Right where you’re standing,” she replied.

  “All right.”

  Kate had the bag with our supplies. By the time I was ready to ask, she had chalk, string, and a straight edge. We did the design first in chalk, using the string to help produce a compass, which gave us a near-perfect circle. Marley did a little math, and that helped us to mark where the five-pointed star would intersect the circle. Nifili told us it didn’t need to be perfect, but we didn’t want to be sloppy.

  The straight edge helped us connect the points, and easily enough, we had our five-pointed star inside the circle.

  The salt was next, and while I did that, Kate and Marley unwrapped the candles. We set one candle just outside each point, and by the time I had spread the salt, they had the candles in place.

  “I can’t believe we’re doing this,” Marley said.

  “Yeah, because this is far more shocking than traveling to Hell,” Kate replied. “You’re sure we won’t be interrupted?”

  “I’m sure.”

  “I think we’re ready,” I declared. “Marley, you have notes?”

  “Yes.” She grabbed a clipboard. I suppressed a smile. Marley’s ability to always have a clipboard struck me as magic. “Pentagram. Check. Candles at each point. Check. You need to wash your hands. Use the soap we bought. And you need to be wearing only natural products, and no animal products. Cotton or linen.”

  “Or moonclad,” Kate said with a smirk.

  I had anticipated this step, and so I stripped down. Kate frowned. “That’s the sexiest pair of undies you have?”

  “Hush,” I said. “Silk is an animal product.” I pulled on a 100% cotton robe, hoping there was no false advertising.

  We had a ceramic bowl and clean water. Marley poured the water into the bowl. I wet my hands, and she handed me the soap. Once washed, I dried my hands on the cotton towel she handed me.

  “You have to light the candles,” Marley directed. “Begin at the southern point and then follow the connecting lines, working widdershins.”

  “Counter-clockwise,” Kate said.

  “I know what widdershins means,” I said, giving her a look. She grinned at me. “Why are you so snarky today?”

  “Because you haven’t let me battle any demons, and I’m losing faith that is going to change.”

  I couldn’t tell if she was serious. “I think you’re still upset I didn’t let you feed off any souls.”

  She made a face. “That was bluster. Fae don’t feed from souls. Well. This fae doesn’t, anyway.”

  “Well,” I replied. “I’ve spent most of my life battling my own demons. You should try it.”

  She snorted. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  I turned to Marley. She was holding another candle, this one a taper rather than the pillars we had set out. She handed me the box of matches and then held the candle. I lit a match and applied it to the wick. Once the candle was burning nicely, we traded.

  “As you light the candles, you invoke the elements. Do you remember?”

  “Yep. Which one is the southern point?”

  “Nearest the curtains.”

  “I’m not sure that’s south.”

  “Nifili said it’s not about compass points.”

  “Oh. It’s just which way we’ll be facing. I remember.” I moved to the first candle, knelt before it, and applied the flame. “Terra,” I said. “Earth.”

  Marley pointed to the next one. It was two candles to the right. I stood, moved to it, and knelt. “Caeli. Air.” At the third point, I said, “Ignis. Fire.” The fourth was “Aqua. Water.”

  I knelt at the fifth. “Anima,” I said. “Soul.”

  “Good,” Marley said. “Extinguish the candle with a single breath, and blow the smoke over the pentagram.”

  I did that, a
nd the entire pentagram began to glow, the light of the star rising several inches, but the light from the circle growing to form a sort of dome. I stared. “Is it supposed to do that?”

  “I hope so,” Kate said. “Pretty impressive, Teigan.”

  “I don’t think it’s supposed to do that.”

  “Say her name, three times, declare your intentions, and then say her name thrice more.”

  “Nifili, Nifili, Nifili, I would speak with you. Nifili, Nifili, Nifili.”

  There was a pause of fifteen seconds, and I was about to believe we’d done it wrong somehow, but then the air at the center of the pentagram began to turn smoky. The smoke swirled and then coalesced into a form that looked like a two-foot-tall version of the demon.

  “My, my, Teigan,” she said. The image appeared to look around. “I’m not sure you followed my directions. What did Evaline teach you?”

  Kate and Marley moved to kneel near me. “Did I do it wrong?” I asked.

  “Katherine,” Nifili said. “And Marley. Is Sue Ellen here?”

  “No,” Marley said. “Can you hear me?”

  “Of course I can. Really, Teigan. What did you do?”

  “We followed your directions,” I replied. “Is it supposed to glow?”

  “Perhaps Marley should do it next time, and we’ll see if she gets the same results as an angel. Well. It’s just the three of you? Where is the rest of your posse, Teigan?”

  “It’s the three of us. Can you see where we are?”

  “No. I can see the three of you, but it is like you are in a dark, foggy room. No posse?”

  “Did we need everyone for you to tell us what you’ve arranged?”

  “Not at all. What time is it there?”

  “Shortly after noon,” Kate replied. “Do you need the exact time?”

  “No, no. Close enough. I have made the arrangements as we discussed. As you know how to come to me, we will meet here, and then I will take you to Tienbellart. I will provide introductions. After that, I am a neutral third party. If invited to do so, I will facilitate negotiations, but I will not take sides.”

  “Thank you, Nifili,” I said. “When?”

  “Come to me in the late afternoon, the day after tomorrow,” she said. “I would offer advice, Teigan.”

  “I welcome your advice, Nifili.”