My Soul to Win

by Robin Roseau

  “You have proof?”

  “You may not judge it as proof so much as evidence,” I said. “I do not care to share it unless we have ratified a complete agreement.”

  “If I am not satisfied with this evidence,” she said. “I will be keeping two of you.”

  “No,” I said. “If you are not satisfied, and if Quentaslart returns to collect from you, then you will have both Evaline and me to finish filling her agreement.”

  “I’m not sure I’d be in a position to enforce such an agreement.” She turned to Nifili. “Will you serve as a guarantee?”

  “No,” Nifili said. “I deal in information. At times, that information is of the sort, ‘Theophania told me’. I do not always have proof. You don’t think she’s lying. I don’t think she’s lying. You just don’t care for the risk you’re being played for a fool.”

  Tienballart turned her attention back to me, then she looked out over my friends. I didn’t care for that, and I really didn’t care for it when her gaze settled on Sue Ellen. “If you are cheating me, then her soul is default.”

  “No,” Evaline and I said together.

  “I’ll do it,” Sue Ellen replied.

  “You will not.”

  “We’re not cheating her,” Sue Ellen said. “So there’s no risk.”

  “No,” Marley said. “If you want someone to guarantee this agreement, you will accept me.”

  “Mom.”

  “No, Sue Ellen. I will not allow you to take this risk.”

  “Mom.”

  “Agreed,” Tienballart said.

  “No,” I said. “If Quentaslart returns to you demanding payment between now and Marley’s death, and if Evaline and I do not present ourselves as payment, then you may have Marley only for the remaining duration of Evaline’s agreement.”

  “No,” Evaline said.

  “Trust me, Evaline,” I said. I turned back to Tienballart. “Furthermore, if Evaline or I come to you at some point after that, you will free her and take us. Marley may pay a portion of the debt, but we will pay the rest. Kate will negotiate the details.”

  “All right,” Tienballart said. “I accept.”

  * * * *

  It took another hour. But finally we collected signatures. Tienballart turned to me. “She is yours as soon as you share this evidence.”

  “I forgave Quentaslart,” I said.

  “And?”

  “And, apparently, when I forgive someone, they are truly, truly forgiven. I cannot promise this, but I do not believe Quentaslart will ever be seen in Hell or on Earth again. However I do not know what she who you do not name will do with her.”

  “No,” she whispered.

  “I believe she considers herself very, very well paid for killing me,” I said. “Her words were, ‘I want to come home, Mother’.”

  “No,” Tienballart said again.

  “Do you know what my biggest fear is?” I asked.

  “This should be good,” Nifili said.

  “That this is some hoax, that Theophania is playing a game with me, and that we’re making agreements based on it.”

  “I protected you about that,” Kate said. “Didn’t you read the fine print?”

  “I did, thank you. But that’s still my fear. A game of hers. Maybe none of this is real.” I shrugged. “To have seen Poppy again. To have seen all of you again, if you’re real.”

  I sighed. “Tienballart, I haven’t lied to you. Do you consider our business complete?”

  “I do,” she said. “You are a very interesting person, Teigan St. Claire.”

  “Thank you for your fine hospitality.”

  “Is that what you call it?” But she inclined her head.

  “If you’ll transfer Evaline to me, we’ll be on our way.”

  She nodded again, and then she spoke in their language. I felt as I took ownership of the demon, a similar feeling to when Theophania gave Quentaslart to me.

  “Very good,” I said. “I would prefer not to travel to Earth from inside here, but perhaps outside the gates is appropriate.”

  “I would prefer that,” Tienballart replied. “Let me escort you.”

  She led us from her home. At the gates, she bid us farewell. I stepped to her and looked up at her. “If you seek redemption, it might take time, but she’d forgive you. Eventually.”

  “I do not believe he would,” Tienballart said. I noted the change in pronouns. “And I am unsure I am interested. This is not Heaven, but it is mine. He can be…”

  “A controlling parent?” I suggested.

  “Yes.”

  “Perhaps she has mellowed.”

  “I find that unlikely,” Tienballart replied. “Angel who is no angel. Can you explain that?”

  “I don’t know. Does the name Alathea mean anything to you.”

  “It does,” she said.

  “Apparently, I am distant offspring.”

  “Teigan, if that is the case, I find it unlikely you could be fooled if Theophania is playing a game with you.”

  “Ah, that assumes that bit of information isn’t part of her game.” And then tears filled my eyes, and I choked out the next words. “You helped free me from Theophania.”

  “I suppose I did,” she said.

  “I wouldn’t reject a hug.”

  She chuckled then knelt down and opened her arms. I stepped into them, and we held each other for a minute or so. “Thank you.”

  “What happens next?”

  “I have no idea,” I replied. “Nifili may eventually be able to tell you.”

  She released me and straightened. “Farewell, Evaline.”

  “Farewell, Tienbellart.”

  Part Four

  Home, Or Something Like It

  I got us to the church. Barely. We arrived. I would have collapsed if Evaline hadn’t caught me.

  But the church didn’t light on fire or anything dramatic like that. However, apparently, we surprised everyone, as the congregation was in the middle of a song. I began crying, but was with it enough to ask Kate to ensure everyone had made it home.

  “We’re good, Teigan,” she assured me.

  “Beth?” I asked. “Where’s Beth.”

  “I’m here, Teigan.”

  “Are we still on holy ground?”

  “Yes,” she said.

  “I want everyone blessed, and bless the church again.”

  “I will. Drink this.” Then she and Grace held the glass of water, and I drank it down, every drop.

  Then, as I continued to cry, the two of them ministered to the rest of my team.

  I was sort of out of it, and it was Beth who introduced Evaline and Grace. That was when I realized she was in her human form, and one of the guys had put his tuxedo coat over her, so she wasn’t absolutely naked.

  “I can stand,” I said.

  “You don’t really think I’m putting you down, do you? You fool. What do you think you were doing?”

  “It’s a long story,” I said. “Grace, another song, please.”

  And then I clung as the congregation sang “Amazing Grace”.

  * * * *

  They put me to bed, Grace’s bed. Evaline sat in a chair beside the bed, holding vigil, it seemed. Beth and Grace saw to the church, including fresh blessings on everyone who had gone to Hell with me.

  I, in effect, passed out, and it was full daylight before I woke. I opened my eyes, and the first thing I saw was Evaline. I smiled. “You belong to me.”

  “So I do,” she replied. “Should I kneel?”

  “No.” I felt around. “Where is everyone else?”

  “That’s a big question. Did you care to narrow it down?”

  “Let’s start with Grace, Marley, and Sue Ellen.”

  “They nested in the living room, along with Naomi and Kate.”

  “Crowded. Hyacinth?”

  “She went home with Jake.”

  “Jebediah and Griffen?”

  “Jebediah and Jeri stayed in the church. I believe Beth a
nd Rachel are there as well. They wanted to come here, but someone named Grace pointed out she brings out the wings in you.” I nodded. “I believe Griffen went home.”

  “Is everyone all right?”

  “As best I can tell.”

  “Are you able to verify there is no, I don’t know…”

  “Taint from a trip through several Hells?”

  “Yes, I suppose.”

  “Beth said they are clean. She’d know better than I would. No one is answering my questions, not even Marley.”

  “Ah, leaving it to me,” I replied. “I have no idea how much of it is moot.”

  “How are you doing?”

  “I’ll survive, but I’m still ragged,” I admitted. “Theophania could have been worse, but she could have been a whole lot better, too.”

  “I’m so sorry, Teigan.”

  “Right now, I can’t forgive you. It may be a little more all-encompassing than I feel is appropriate. I’m sorry.”

  “I think I understand. So. You forgave Quentaslart.”

  “And the Heavens opened,” I said. “Right above the church.”

  “I bet that caused a stir.”

  “A number of things have caused a stir. What is impressive is that none of it has made the papers.”

  “These sorts of things seem to suppress themselves. Someone doesn’t care for proof.”

  “I wore wings in front of the entire congregation of this church.”

  “It’s a small church.”

  “Cute,” I told her. “I need to get up. I need to use the bathroom, and I want to attend the prayer breakfast.”

  “You’ve never been religious.”

  “That was before spending two decades in Hell and then another five years in some form of Heaven. I won’t make you come, but I’d like it if you did. Well, unless Grace asks you not to. It’s her church.”

  “This is her bed, isn’t it?”

  “Yes.”

  “And no one thought it was surprising when Poppy told me to put you here.”

  “No, they probably didn’t.” She didn’t say anything to that. “We have a few things to figure out. But it starts with prayer breakfast. Then someone wants to talk to you.”

  “Who?”

  “Quentaslart called her ‘Mother’.”

  “No,” she whispered.

  I slipped out of the bed, then sat for a moment. Evaline stepped forward and helped steady me. I looked into her eyes. “Who undressed me?”

  “I did.”

  “How do you like the body Theophania gave me?”

  “I like the old one.”

  “Uh, huh,” I said, stepping past her.

  * * * *

  Beth was still in the church. The wings grew back as we crossed the yard. They were quite the bother, but I’d gotten better with them, and I tucked them in as tightly as I could. It took a minute, but we found her and Rachel in the dining hall downstairs, along with twenty or so other people. Jebediah and Jeri were still there, so I said ‘hello’ briefly to Beth and Rachel, then walked to Jebediah and pulled him into a hug.

  “I brought him back to you,” I said to his daughter.

  “Thanks,” she replied. “She doesn’t look like a demon.”

  “Not here, she doesn’t,” I said.

  I released Jebediah, although he continued to half hold me. “Now what happens?” he asked.

  “Now,” I said. “We have the prayer breakfast. Grace holds service. And afterwards, we make a sort of phone call.”

  “To whom?”

  “God wants to talk to Evaline. She may want to talk to everyone. I don’t know. I hope you’ll stay for the service. Call the others and tell them to get their butts here.”

  “They called me and said they were on their way.”

  “Good.”

  “You’re looking ragged, Lacey.”

  “Thanks. Are my wings drooping?”

  “You’re learning control.”

  “Trying, anyway. I wish I could be the one to decide if they’re here or not. I’m going to get started making breakfast.”

  “But you’re an angel,” Jeri pointed out.

  “According to a demon who should know, I’m not. I think these are fake.” I gestured to the wings.

  “They don’t look fake.” She stepped behind me and poked at me. “They’re attached.”

  “Well, I can’t explain it.”

  “And don’t change the subject,” she continued. “Why are you making breakfast?”

  “Because I’d rather make breakfast than explain how I’m not an angel.”

  She laughed. “Right.”

  “Thanks for loaning me your dad. Is he a decent dad?”

  “He was strict as shit,” she said. “He’s not bad.”

  “That’s all right, then.” I slipped away and headed for the kitchen. Sue Ellen and Lisa Jean had beat me there. They turned to me as I stepped in.

  “I want the easiest job,” I said. “Let me flip pancakes.”

  Lisa Jean held the spatula out for me. After that, I focused on one job, and only one job, until Grace found me fifteen minutes later.

  “Hiding?”

  “Of course I am.”

  She took the spatula away from me, handed it to someone else, and then pulled me after her.

  * * * *

  Grace conducted a normal service. Evaline sat in Grace’s office, Kate with her. Grace gave a good sermon. Well, I assumed she did. I was distracted, wondering what was going to happen.

  It took forever to get people to leave. I couldn’t really blame them. Beth was around, so my wings were on display, and we’d depended on them to hold down the fort so I didn’t feel right kicking them out.

  But I didn’t think what was going to happen next needed to be so public, either.

  In the end, Grace managed to nudge everyone out, and we were left with our core group. Kate and Evaline appeared, and there were a lot of awkward looks until I said, “Well. We don’t know what’s going to happen. Are you ready?”

  “No,” Evaline said.

  “Excellent. Just in case, if you have anything you want to say.”

  Evaline looked me in the eye but then said, “No.”

  “Well,” Sue Ellen said. “I have things I want to say. We didn’t go to Hell and back, three times no less, for this to end poorly now.” Then she ran to Evaline and wrapped round her.

  With everyone distracted, Grace moved to my side and pulled me away. We turned to face each other. “She’s not what I expected.”

  “She’s being pretty subdued,” I said.

  “You don’t belong to her anymore.”

  “No. She belongs to me.”

  “And you intend to keep her?”

  “Not like that, no. I just wasn’t sure if I should free her before, or after.”

  “Because you’re not tempted to keep her?”

  “No,” I said. “Grace.”

  “She’s stunning. Marley is, too. I bet she was really stunning 25 years ago.”

  “Yeah, she was. Grace.”

  “You needed me. And frankly, I was drawn to you. I think I was reliving my youth.”

  “I’m older than you.”

  “Yeah, it shows,” she said.

  “You realize your church is full with one demon, one fae, one part angel, one distant descendant of a Greek goddess, and six former exotic dancers. Oh, and technically, eight, as I danced, and it was Evaline’s club.”

  “Just another Sunday at Our Lady of Divine Truth.” She smiled. “I bet you were good.”

  “I bet I was terrible. Naomi did her best to teach me.”

  “Naomi is very sweet.”

  “She is,” I agreed. “Grace.” She covered my lips with her fingers. “But,” I said into them.

  “Teigan, you’re on a mission from God to rescue that woman from Hell. Do you think I don’t recognize everything we might say? Now, I think the hug fest is over. Do you think maybe we should do this?”

  Divinity
>
  Evaline and I stood at the center of the sanctuary, facing each other. I didn’t ask Grace and Beth to bless us, and we had erased the pentagram. We shouldn’t need it, after all.

  The others stood in a line, facing the sanctuary, Grace and Marley in the middle. But then Sue Ellen nudged in between them, taking a hand on other side. Tears were crawling down her cheeks, but there wasn’t really anything I could do about that.

  I looked at Evaline, and then I turned my head, looking at everyone who had helped us. My gaze settled on Kate. I nodded to her, and she nodded back. And then I shifted to Beth. “Thank you.”

  “It’s going to be fine,” she said.

  “I know.” Except I didn’t. “Thank you.” Like Kate had, she nodded to me.

  I turned my head back to Evaline. “I free you.”

  “No!”

  But I had already done it. There was a small tearing, and Evaline slumped for a moment then sighed. She looked back up at me. “Why?”

  “Because it should be your choice to stay or run.”

  It seemed anti-climactic. Three little words, and she was free. It seems like the sort of thing that should have required some sort of ritual. But if there was a ritual, it was in those three words and the intent behind them.

  “Let’s do this, Teigan,” Evaline told me.

  “Right.” I lifted my gaze. I don’t know why. It’s just what people do. Heaven is amongst the heavens, right? So I lifted my gaze. And then I said, “Well. You said bring her to a church. I brought her. Now what?”

  Yeah, that’s pretty much an anti-ritual. But I’m fairly certain my words didn’t really matter.

  What happened next was surreal, as if my entire story isn’t. So I guess it was especially surreal. I’ll do my best to explain.

  First, the heavens opened again, just like they had when Quentaslart had left. The entire sanctuary filled with light. And that wasn’t terribly surreal, even if, well, it was the light of Heaven.

  But then it was like the church grew, pulling away from me, or like I shrank. Without moving at all, I felt like I was rushing backwards, away from everything else. Not upwards, as I thought might happen, but backwards, and I thought it looked like the same happened with Evaline.

  Then, all around me, it was light, bright light, without feature. I looked around, but all I could see was bright, white light.