Apocalypse

by Ryan Casey

  Butterflies flooded his chest.

  And then a deep sadness welled up inside.

  He couldn’t deny what he felt for her.

  He couldn’t fight the connection he felt with her.

  Even if it was unrequited.

  Even if it was gone now.

  Even if she was gone. And every reminder of her.

  He swallowed a thick lump in his throat. Shook his head. He couldn’t think like that.

  “Wait,” Eddie said. “Please.”

  Tim followed close behind Eddie. Sighed. “Eddie, mate. You need to give up on her. She clearly doesn’t give a shit. You’re gonna just get us killed.”

  “You’re the only ones who’ll get yourselves killed,” the woman said, suddenly turning around and facing them. Glaring into Eddie’s eyes with those cold, green eyes of hers. “Now seriously. Do me a favour and stop following me. It’s not gonna do either of us any good. Besides. I’ve got a shotgun, in case you hadn’t noticed. I’ll use it if I have to.”

  “Where did you get—”

  “None of your business where I got anything. Now I’ll say it again. I have a gun. And as you’ve seen, I’m not afraid to use it. Not one bit.”

  Eddie dropped his shoulders. He didn’t want to argue with this woman. But at the same time, the very fact she’d helped them said she cared, to a degree. So he didn’t want to just give up on her.

  “We’ve been through hell,” Eddie said. “We… we both lost people. Lost our homes.”

  “Welcome to the club.”

  “But there’s a place. Lancaster. A safe place. Somewhere good. You should come with us. There might be hope there. There might be…”

  He saw the look on the woman’s face turn. A smile stretched across her mouth. “A safe place? That’s what you believe. Really?”

  “Trust me. I found it hard to believe at first. But these two. I’ve… I’ve no reason not to trust them. No reason not to believe them.”

  The woman sighed. Shook her head. “You’re barking up the wrong tree. Seriously. The best thing you guys could do is lay low. Find yourselves a nice little home somewhere remote. Learn to hunt. Learn to fish. And live every day like it’s your last. ’Cause it might well be. I mean, today probably should’ve been, for you.”

  She turned around again. Went to walk off.

  “Your scar,” Eddie said.

  The woman froze.

  “On your face. Did you get that during all this?”

  She was silent. Just for a moment. Didn’t say a thing. It was like time had stopped. Like everything had frozen still.

  And then she spoke without looking back.

  “No.”

  Her voice sounded softer. More fragile, somehow. Weaker, perhaps.

  She took a deep breath and walked off towards the trees.

  “Tell us your name,” Eddie said. “So I can thank you at least.”

  She stopped.

  Looked back at Eddie.

  “What good is my name?”

  “I just want to thank you. Properly. And it’d help if I knew your name.”

  She hesitated. Didn’t say anything at first.

  Then: “Zelda.”

  “Zelda?” Eddie said. “For real?”

  “Yes, for real. You got a problem with that.”

  “No. I just—”

  “Good.”

  Eddie swallowed a lump in his throat. “Ocarina of Time. Best game of all time. Right?”

  Zelda’s eyes narrowed. She didn’t say a word.

  “I’m Eddie. This is Harold. His nephew, Tim. And this here’s my… my dog. Barney. We’d love it if you—”

  “I don’t give a shit who you are,” Zelda said. “I don’t give a shit where you come from or whether you have an animal or not or where you’re going. What don’t you understand about that?”

  “You cared enough to save our lives, though,” Harold said.

  She looked past Eddie.

  Then back at him again.

  For a moment, it looked like she was going to open her mouth. Open up. Like there was a whole world inside there waiting to pour out.

  And then she just sighed and nodded.

  “Good luck, fellas. Really. I just hope I don’t have to save your asses again any time soon.”

  She looked into his eyes, just for a moment.

  And then she turned around, walked into the trees, and disappeared into the darkness.

  Chapter Twenty

  Dr Watson stood in the middle of the compound and knew she was in deep trouble.

  The sirens had only just stopped blaring. The only sounds she could hear now were bodies being dragged away. Bullets being fired into the skulls of the dead, just to make sure. The smell of rust in the air. A dryness in her throat.

  Because this mistake was catastrophic.

  And this mistake was on her.

  She took a few long, deep breaths. She was usually pretty good at getting her emotions in check. She practiced mindfulness, and it’d got her a long way in life. It was supposed to make you more compassionate. More in touch with others.

  But she couldn’t help feeling like she’d slipped through the other side.

  She couldn’t help feeling like it had only detached her from her emotions even more.

  All that time she spent in Tibet practising Dzogchen. It was supposed to be good for her. It was supposed to be a journey towards enlightenment.

  But something had shifted in Dr Watson.

  She didn’t see thoughts or feelings as her anymore.

  She saw them as objects. Appearances in consciousness.

  And while that could be immensely liberating, it was also frightening.

  Because it allowed her to do things she would never previously have been comfortable with.

  Something that made her so good at her work.

  “You were supposed to be in control of this ward,” a voice said.

  Dr Watson froze. The hairs crept up her arms. She didn’t feel acute fear like this, much. But hearing his voice filled her with terror. She’d be lying if she pretended otherwise. It didn’t help that she knew she was in the wrong. She was exhausted. She’d let her focus slip. She hadn’t checked on the locking system error. Hadn’t noticed it.

  When she had, it was already too late.

  Six of the subjects were out.

  And they were causing chaos.

  She didn’t want to look around.

  Didn’t want to face him.

  But she had to.

  He was tall. Balding. Thin glasses. Narrow cheeks. Always had a confident, smiling look to his face. But there was an emptiness to his dark brown eyes. A void there. Like he was detached from reality, somehow. Even more so than her.

  “It was a technical fault, sir,” Dr Watson said. “And we’re under control now. We’ve contained the outbreak. We’re okay. Right? We’re okay.”

  He stepped closer to her. Stood by her side. Looked at the mess before them both. Somehow, having him standing there, looking at it too, it made it seem even worse. It extenuated the chaos. The blood. The bodies. The chaos.

  “I’m sure it was just a technical fault. You’ve been trustworthy. And you’ve been competent for a long time now. Long before we came here. Long before this virus broke out.”

  She felt the hairs on her neck rise. A momentary relief. At least he recognised her qualities.

  “But you understand as well as anyone, Dr Watson. There are consequences for ineptitude. And this is a severe, severe case of ineptitude.”

  Dr Watson looked around at him. Went to open her mouth.

  That’s when she felt them.

  The hands on her arms.

  Tightening their grip.

  Two guards.

  Armed.

  Matt and Kev.

  “Sir,” she begged. “No. Please. I don’t—”

  He stood there with that stoic look on his face. Stared at her. Closely. “You know what you signed up for. You made a mistake. But you will pa
y the price. For the good of humanity. For the good of everyone.”

  She tried to shake free. Tried to kick free. “No. Please. Don’t do this to me. Don’t—”

  “Goodbye, Dr Watson. It’s been a pleasure. Truly.”

  “No! Don’t! Please! Dr Jenkinson, please!”

  She tried to break free as they dragged her down the steps.

  As they dragged her towards that door that filled her with fear now—inescapable fear.

  As they opened that door, and as she stared into the awful darkness.

  “Please! Please!”

  She looked back.

  Looked into his eyes.

  She swore she saw him smiling.

  Dr Jenkinson stood on the balcony and watched the door slam shut.

  He heard Dr Watson scream.

  And then, he heard silence.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  As Noah walked through the derelict streets, he still couldn’t believe he was actually free.

  It was afternoon, and the warmth of the sun felt heavenly, blissful. He’d forgotten how the air actually tasted good out here. Far better than that stale, sour tang that constantly hung on the back of his tongue in the prison, where he’d been locked up for God knows how many days. His legs were still weak. He’d definitely lost muscle tone, and he hadn’t had much to begin with, being a skinny guy like he was. Walking took it out of him. He needed something. A meal. A proper frigging shower. He reeked of shit so bad it’d just become his default state.

  At least he’d been able to change his clothes. It wasn’t ideal, but he and Kelly found some clothes in a house a few miles back. The difference a fresh T-shirt and pair of jeans made. Not to mention not having to wear those sweaty, pissy boxers anymore.

  He looked over at Kelly, then at Paul. He was trying to keep Paul in sight at all times. He didn’t trust the slippery bastard. He had greasy hair, and one of those faces that just looked untrustworthy. He kept looking over his shoulder, looking all around, rubbing his hands against his arms like he was nervous. Like he knew something was out here.

  “First trip outside since all this kicked off?” Noah asked.

  Paul sighed. “I know you’ll say I’m privileged. I know you think I’ve been living the high life back at the compound. But believe me. It’s really not as simple as that.”

  Noah tilted his head. “I really feel for you. Holding people captive against their will. Not telling them why you’re holding them there.”

  “It’s all for the greater good.”

  “And those people in that corridor? The ones with their guts hanging out? Is it really for their greater good?”

  Paul shook his head like he was trying to push the reality away. “There’s a lot of complicated factors in this situation.”

  “Yeah. So you keep saying.”

  Noah turned away from Paul. Truth be told, he couldn’t bear looking at him much longer. He wanted to kill him. He hadn’t decided what he wanted to do with him. Not yet.

  But Kelly was adamant. He knew stuff. He could be useful. He was a handy guy to have around.

  At the same time, Noah felt like he was a dangerous guy to have around.

  Because having him around made him feel like they were in the crosshairs somehow.

  “So what now?” Paul asked. “We just wander along on this merry journey and hope for the best?”

  “Shut up,” Kelly said. “Keep walking. Don’t push us.”

  But Paul raised a point. What now? They were out of the compound, but they were into the unknown. Noah supposed they could try for Kelly’s place. But it was miles away from here. No guarantee they’d even make it.

  Better to just head to somewhere remote. Get some shelter, even if it was just for the night.

  Noah felt lost. In limbo. Even at that compound—that prison—at least his life followed some kind of structure.

  “You think you’re walking towards salvation,” Paul said. “You think you’re free. But you’re wrong. More wrong than you’ll ever—argh!”

  Paul fell to the ground as Kelly kicked his shins, hard. She stepped over him. Grabbed him by the ear. “Just zip it, okay? I can’t think with you droning on constantly.”

  And then she slammed his face down into the mud.

  She walked over to Noah. “He’s got a point, though.”

  “What about?”

  “Well, what next for us? Where do we go? Just keep wandering through these creepy streets and hoping the infected don’t get us?”

  “You got any ideas yourself?” Noah asked.

  Kelly sighed. “Right now, I’m just glad I’m out of that place. Relieved for a breather. Wait. You see that?”

  Noah looked around. Half-expected to see the infected.

  But then he saw something else.

  Something unexpected.

  Vehicles. Three of them. Big trucks. Looked official. Like military. All heading in one direction, away from here.

  They walked down the road a little further. Past the discarded cans lining the street. Past the crows swooping down, and the emaciated stray dogs and cats searching through the bins.

  As they got further down the road, towards these vehicles, Noah noticed something else.

  These vehicles. They had writing smeared across the sides. Some kind of sign.

  He squinted at them. Tried to get a better look.

  When he saw it, he wasn’t sure what to think.

  “SAFE PLACE. SOUTH OF LANCASTER. ALL WELCOME.”

  He swallowed a lump in his throat. Stood there, shaking a little. Kelly by his side. Paul just behind.

  “What do you think?” Kelly asked.

  “I don’t trust it.”

  “But?”

  “But what other choice do we have?”

  She looked back at him like she was going to protest.

  And then she nodded. Half-smiled.

  “I guess you’re right. No harm in seeing for ourselves.”

  She looked around at Paul.

  And then her face dropped.

  “Um, Noah?”

  Noah frowned.

  Looked around.

  And he saw for himself.

  “That slimy bastard. I’ll kill him.”

  Paul was nowhere to be seen.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Eddie couldn’t stop thinking about Zelda.

  They sheltered in a dingy abandoned log cabin in the woods through the night. Eddie was convinced he’d got zero sleep at all, but he must’ve done ’cause he had a dream he was being chased by an enormous cheese puff, and for some bizarre reason, it terrified him. Didn’t know why. If there’s one thing he’d love more than anything right now, it was to be pursued by an enormous cheese puff. Literally, that would be the best thing in the world right now.

  But today was pretty shit. Cloudy. The air felt thick.

  And that pain in his chest.

  That damned pain in his chest.

  He couldn’t stop thinking about it. Couldn’t stop worrying about it.

  Heart problems ran in his family. He was overweight. And if anything happened to him cardiac-related, there was nothing that could be done for him. Not in this world. Not anymore.

  He was fucked, quite frankly.

  “Sleep well?”

  Eddie turned around and saw Tim step out of the cabin. He had a snarky voice. Very muscular. His eyes were red. Looked like he’d been crying. Eddie couldn’t blame him. He’d just lost his brother recently, after all. Still seemed in shock about it. Like he was trying to put across a front.

  Eddie nodded. “As well as can be in a world where half-dead nutters are trying to tear your… sorry. I didn’t mean that.”

  Tim shook his head. “It’s alright. Figured you kind of have a habit of opening your mouth when you’re not meant to sometimes. Simon. He was the same. Always fighting his battles for him. Always trying to clean up after him. I guess… I guess it caught him out in the end.”

  Eddie didn’t say anything to that. He just
got to work at skinning the squirrel he’d caught—pretty proud of that, actually. Maybe he wasn’t so useless after all.

  He smelled the meat cooking over the fire. Salivated at the thought of it. He sensed a vulnerability to Tim now. “I’m sorry. About what happened to your brother. Really. I wish we could’ve done more.”

  Tim glared at him. For a second, Eddie thought he might flip again.

  But then he just half-smiled.

  Nodded.

  “It hurts. Really. I’m keeping as brave a face as I can because I have to. But I know it’ll come out in time. I know it’s gonna come flooding out, and it’s gonna be awful. But… I’m sorry if you felt like you were blamed in any way. It’s just… hell, it’s raw, you know?”

  Eddie nodded. He could hear Harold’s footsteps traipsing through the grass, Barney by his side, heading back towards them from his own walk to try and catch something. “Harold,” Eddie said, sensing a moment. “Your uncle. What’s his deal?”

  “His deal?”

  “I mean. He seems… I dunno.”

  “Surprisingly trusting and welcoming for a guy trapped in a world where trust should’ve eroded weeks ago? Yeah. I get it. He’s just always been like that since he lost his wife, my Auntie Carol. We always worried about him when she died because she was his world. But he didn’t let it drag him down. He grew from it. He got stronger. He took on a new outlook on life. Trust in others. Take each day as it comes. Real corny, I know. But it works for him. And he’s still standing and still smiling right now. So I guess there’s something to it.”

  Eddie half-smiled back at Tim. He admired hearing about Harold. “Reminds me of my…”

  “Huh?” Tim said.

  Eddie shook his head. Thought of his grandad. He was always such a warm guy. Always such a jolly character. When Grandma died, Eddie wondered why he could stay so upbeat, so happy, so positive.

  And he ruffled his hair once and said. “It hurts. But I’ve got to keep on living. ’Cause it’s what she would’ve wanted.”

  “What d’you think about Zorro, then?” Tim asked.

  “Huh?”

  “Zorro or whatever she was called. Reckon she’ll be alright out there?”

  Eddie smiled. “Zelda. Yeah. I’ve thought about her a lot. I figure if anyone’s gonna be alright in this thing, it’s her.”