Undeniable

by Kandle, Tawdra

  We fell asleep that way, wrapped in each other’s arms. When I opened my eyes, the room was dark.

  Rafe...

  It was nothing but a whisper. I frowned in confusion, looking around the living room.

  You’ve betrayed me.

  My heart pounded. I couldn’t hear it well, but I knew that voice. My head spun, and I couldn’t breathe.

  You loved me. You said you did. But here you are with her. What have you done, Rafe?

  The hair at the back of my neck stood up. She wasn’t here. How could she be? Tasmyn was at Perriman College with Michael. She had moved on with her life, and so had I. This had to be a dream. A guilty conscious-induced dream because I was finally getting over her.

  Rafe, son.

  It was different this time. A man’s voice, and without warning, my eyes filled with tears. I wanted to jump up and find him.

  Think about what you’re doing, son. You don’t know enough about these people, and they’re sending you into something even they don’t understand. Get away while you still have time.

  “Dad?” I whispered the name, half afraid to hope. “Is that really you?” How many nights had I hoped he could come back to me, that there was more to the supernatural than I’d guessed?

  Be smart, son. Be wise.

  “Rafe?” Joss touched my face, and I opened my eyes to see her frowning over me. Neither of us had clothes on, but she’d pulled a blanket over us.

  “Are you all right?” She smoothed gentle fingers over my forehead. “You were...shaking. Talking.”

  “I must have been dreaming.” I took a deep breath that ended in a shudder. “I was dreaming. My dad...he was telling me not to do this. The mission.” I ran a hand over my face. “It was weird.”

  Joss squirmed to sit up straight. “We should tell Cathryn. It might mean something.”

  “A dream? Come on. You think my dad came back to warn me?”

  “No, but I think whoever we’re going against might be using him—the idea of him in your head—to scare you off.”

  “Or it’s just my subconscious manifesting me being scared about this job. You said the house was protected, right? No one could get in.”

  “Yeah.” She laid her head back down, but the worried crease stayed between her eyes.

  I dropped a light kiss on her lips and reached for my jeans. “Are you hungry? I think we have leftovers from the chicken you made last night. I can heat it up.”

  She glanced up at me. “You’re cooking? Wow. What happened to the Rafe Brooks I know and love?”

  I had just pulled on my jeans, and my hands froze at the button. We didn’t use the L word, not ever. Not even in joking, and never in sex.

  Joss had stopped moving, too, and I saw realization of what she had said cross her face.

  “It’s just an expression.” She pulled the blanket tighter, shielding herself from me. “Don’t make a big deal.”

  “I’m not.” I stood still, waiting. Words were on the edge of the surface, but after a few minutes, I decided it wasn’t time to say them. Not yet.

  “So, chicken?” I headed for the kitchen.

  We ate on the sofa from paper plates, picking up the chicken with our fingers and sharing a beer. Joss had pulled on a robe that gave me flashes of pale skin when she leaned over.

  “Are you really that spooked by this mission?” She licked off her fingers.

  “I didn’t think so. I’m kind of excited about it. This is why I wanted to work for Carruthers. So I don’t know why I’d dream that.”

  “Yeah, that’s what made me say it could be something else. I don’t know, but it seems to me that if someone is a powerful enough manipulator—like you, for instance—he might be able to work on someone’s dreams. Influence them, control them. When you’re sleeping, your blocks are down. Or lower, at least.”

  “I guess.” I snagged the last piece.

  “Have you ever tried to work on a sleeping person?”

  I swallowed and eyed her. “I’ve manipulated sleeping minds, yes. But not dreams.”

  “As far as you know. Maybe all those girls whose memories you erased had nightmares about you while you were doing it. Ever think of that?”

  I shrugged. “We’ll never know.” I crumpled up my plate and took a swig of beer. “How about you? Today when Cathryn and Harley were talking, you looked...freaked out.”

  She nodded. “Yeah, well, I’m not sure either of us are ready for what’s coming. You’re too new, and I’m—” She shook her head. “I’m a low-level recruiter whose powers are iffy at best. Unreliable. I’m not sure why Carruthers is sending us in. And that makes me nervous.”

  I tucked a red curl back behind her ear. “Hey, no problem. If we get into a tough spot, I’ll just touch you here...” I teased a finger down her thigh where the robe gaped open. “Crap’ll be flying everywhere.”

  She slapped my hand away. “Rafe, I’m serious.”

  “So am I.” When she didn’t smile, I sighed, rubbing my face. “Joss, I think we can handle this. Cathryn and Harley aren’t asking us to go in there and dismantle the whole organization or whatever it is. We’re just doing recon. We can handle that.”

  “I hope so.” She took the bottle from my hand and finished the beer. “I really hope so.”

  ***

  “I’M HUNGRY.”

  I glanced sideways at Joss. I’d thought she was sleeping; she’d been silent for over thirty minutes.

  “You ate breakfast before we left. We’ve only been on the road a few hours.”

  “And yet the fact remains. I’m hungry. I want lunch time food now.”

  I stifled a sigh. Joss had been moody for the past few days as we made our final preparations for the trip to Georgia. I knew she was worried, and I tried to be patient, but she was making me nuts. We’d been upping our training over these months, meeting Zoe at the townhouse or her home to make sure we were ready, reading all the information Carruthers could dig up on Ben Ryan, Chatham and the commune. But each day, Joss seemed a little more withdrawn. And now it felt like she was doing anything to delay us getting to Savannah.

  “What’s the next exit?” I knew I might as well give in now to her food request, or she’d just keep pestering me.

  She picked up her phone and scanned the map. “Looks like Crystal Cove. It’s a beach town. They’ll probably have something there.”

  We turned off and found a burger place right on the beach. I wanted to take our food to go, but Joss insisted we sit outside and eat there.

  “You’re dragging your feet.” I licked ketchup from my finger. “What’s up?”

  She dragged a French fry through some honey mustard and lifted a shoulder. “I don’t know. As much as we’ve learned, as much as we’ve talked this thing to death, I still feel like we’re going in blind.”

  The last week before we left had been a round of long days, late nights and updates daily from Harley or Cathryn. They’d put a rudimentary plan in place: we were driving up to Savannah, and we’d hang out in the city for a few days, and then wander into the countryside, where we would conveniently run across the commune. After that, everything was murky. How long we stayed and what being part of the community would mean would depend on the people there and the information we dug up.

  I nudged Joss’s foot under the table. “At least we have each other, right?”

  “Mmmm.” She swallowed her fry, took a sip of sweet tea and looked out over the beach. I wasn’t getting anything out of her without some work.

  “What can I do to make you feel better?” I nabbed a piece of bleu cheese from my burger and stuck into my mouth. And then I frowned. What I had just said sounded dangerously like a boyfriend thing. We’d been careful, both of us, to skirt that line, keep it light, just sex and friendship.

  Joss leaned her head back, letting the sun bathe her pale face. “Nothing. But doesn’t it spook you at all? Finding out that this Mallory Jones chick has been busy running around the country, spreading sunshine and
death?”

  I crumpled up my napkin and tossed it onto the table. “Yeah, it doesn’t make me happy. But we also found out that she’s definitely not at the commune. Harley’s people tracked her to San Francisco. They’re keeping an eye on her. And there’s been no sign of Ben Ryan popping up anywhere. I know it feels like we’re on our own here, but Carruthers has our back.”

  “Let’s hope so.”

  We paid for our food, used the rest rooms and hit the road again. I turned to Joss, dangling the keys as we walked into the parking lot. “You want to drive?” It was a bribe; I knew how much she loved being in control, especially when it came to cars.

  But she shook her head and climbed back into the passenger side. “This is your sweetheart, you know her better than I do.” She rubbed the dashboard with respect and affection.

  Gram and Gramps hadn’t asked any questions when I requested that they bring the Impala up to me. It was a good excuse to get them up for a visit and tell them in person about our assignment.

  Neither of them was happy. In fact, Gram let me know in no uncertain terms that I was being a fool. Her words. Gramps didn’t say as much—he didn’t have to, with Gram doing all the talking. But before they left, as I helped carry bags to their car, he grabbed my shoulder.

  “Listen to me, boy.” His voice was gruff. “That old woman in there may be your grandmother, but she’s the love of my life. I won’t have her getting hurt. And if you go off and get yourself in trouble or worse, you’ll break her heart. You’re all we have left, Rafe. I know you have to do what you think is best, but keep that in mind.”

  I thought about them as we merged back onto the highway to join the northbound traffic. I might have gotten stiffed in the mother category, but I was damned lucky to have my grandparents, not to mention the rest of my extended family in King. I wasn’t close to anyone outside of Gram, Gramps and Lucie, but it was comforting to know they were there.

  “Joss, do you talk to any of your family at all?” I didn’t plan to ask the question, but it came out anyway.

  She turned from where she’d been staring out the window. “No. Once I made my decision for Carruthers, that was it. I haven’t seen them in almost ten years.”

  “Does it bother you?”

  “Does it bother me that I don’t have family, like your grandparents? Hell, yeah. I would love to have someone worrying about whether or not I’ll make it back from a job. Or even check in to make sure I’m alive once in a while.” She shifted, fiddling with her seatbelt. “But do I miss them, specifically? My own family? No. Not a bit. They...they’re more like your stepfather, I think. They hated what I could do, and then they hated me for being able to do it.”

  I reached over to snag her hand. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up something that hurts.”

  She smiled, one of the first real ones since we’d left that morning. “It’s okay. We all have shit in our past, right? They’re mine.” She rubbed the upper part of her left arm as she spoke, her lips pressing together. A suspicion jumped into my mind. I wanted to ask, but I decided I’d pushed my luck far enough for now.

  “Should we go over our story again?”

  Joss blew out a breath. “I think we know it backwards and forward now. You left home after high school graduation, let your rich grandparents fund your fuck-across-America trip. Geez, that sounds so realistic...oh, wait, it is.” She shot me a sassy look, but when I didn’t rise to her bait, she went on.

  “When you hit the Big Easy, you met...me. The beautiful, intelligent woman who has been working freelance for a few years for various companies. See phony dossier created by Carruthers people. You fell instantly and madly in love with me, and insisted that you wanted to give up your life of one-night stands to settle down and raise cute little red-headed babies.”

  I snorted. “I don’t think that was part of the story, Joss.”

  “Well, I decided to improvise. I like mine better. Anyway, I convinced you that we should travel together for a little while, have some fun, before we start planting those roots and making babies. So we’ve been doing that, and we just decided to stop in Savannah.”

  “Close enough. You think you can pull off the madly-in-love with me part?”

  Joss turned to me with a huge smile and wide eyes. “Oh, Rafe, you are the only one for me. I live to see your face, to feel your big, strong arms around me. I can’t live if you’re not near me.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, that’s pouring it on a little thick.”

  “Whatever. I can do what I need to do in that department. I’m a good actress.” She gave me a wicked smile. “After all, you bought my story in New Orleans, right?”

  “True.” I focused on passing a slow-moving tractor-trailer and then glanced at her. “So if the cover story doesn’t make you nervous, what else are you worried about?”

  “Oh, I don’t know, maybe remembering what it felt like that day in New Orleans. The idea that we’re dealing with people who don’t have any scruples about killing just to get ahead in business.” She stretched her neck back. “Every other job I’ve been on, I’m playing a role. No one there—other than the client—knows what I can do. That’s part of our advantage. But here, if we’re right about the fact that there’s another company like Carruthers, using people like us, they could figure it out pretty fast. And then we’re screwed. What if they have some way to bind our abilities?”

  I tightened my grip on the steering wheel. “It’s possible, yeah. Then we get out. Come on, Joss, it’s basically a camp, right? People living together, growing food, whatever else they do on communes? It’s not like they’re going to hold us hostage.”

  She was quiet for a few minutes, and when she spoke again, her voice was tentative. “I’ve been working with Zoe again since we came back from New Orleans. Trying to get more control over my powers. I think...” She trailed off, and then I nearly drove off the road when I heard her voice in my mind.

  I think I’m starting to get better at using them.

  “Jesus God, Joss! You scared the shit of me!”

  She smiled. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to. I was just practicing. Seeing if it worked.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me before now?” I frowned.

  “I don’t know. I wasn’t sure it was really working. My powers all seem to be emotion-based, except for the perception. Zoe has tried, for a long time, to help me harness the emotion and use the power without having to actually feel it. You know, like, use the power of being turned on without getting naked with someone.”

  I rubbed my chin. “And you can do that now?”

  “Sort of. Sometimes. The broadcasting seems to come easier than the telekinesis. It comes from a different place emotionally.”

  “Ah, so that’s why you’re not screaming in my head when we’re in bed together?” I grinned at her, but she just shook her head.

  “No, but it’s easier to access. It’s...a kind of pain, I guess. I can remember it now and pull it up without letting myself get bogged down into the past.” She twisted her hair back away from her face and slouched down in her seat. “Do you mind if I doze off a little? Wake me up if you need anything.”

  I figured that was her way of shutting down a discussion she didn’t want to have, so I just nodded and focused on the road in front of us. Joss closed her eyes, and in a few minutes, I could hear her breathing even out as she fell asleep.

  I stifled a sigh. Living with Joss, sleeping with her, over these past months had been easy. She didn’t demand anything from me, and it was a relief to have someone I could talk to, could trust, who didn’t tear me up inside the way Tasmyn had. She made me happy, I realized, just with her simple, direct way of being with me. No games, no drama. Just the two of us, living in the moment.

  And maybe it was the change that was spooking her as much as the possible danger we were facing in Georgia. Maybe we could knock out this job in two weeks and be back at the townhouse, fall back into our lives. But something had shifted between u
s, something had deepened. When we had sex, it was more. Without words, without defining it, we’d taken a step closer to a real relationship. It should have scared me shitless, but right now, driving north toward the unknown, with this beautiful woman in the car next to me, I felt strangely peaceful.

  I’d never been to Savannah. I guess I had expected it to be more like Atlanta, so I was surprised when Interstate 16 became a smaller road leading right into the city. Or town. I wasn’t sure. Old houses and new buildings surrounded us as I leaned forward, trying to see where we were going.

  “We need to turn right on Bay Street.” Joss was awake now and peering into her phone. “And then turn right onto Oglethorpe.”

  We’d made a reservation for two nights at a bed and breakfast in keeping with our cover as a young couple with time to kill and money to burn. We checked in, left our baggage and went out to wander. It was an unseasonably warm winter day, a light breeze scattering the leaves across the sidewalk.

  “The city’s set up in squares.” Joss was examining the map the woman at the B and B had given us. “So it’s easy to find your way around. This is Orleans Square.”

  “It’s gorgeous.” I looked around at the hanging moss and the fountain. Across the grass, a bride and groom were posing for pictures. I snuck a look at Jocelyn’s face, but she didn’t have that sappy yearning expression most girls got around weddings.

  “It was named to commemorate the battle of New Orleans and Jackson’s victory over the British.” She smiled up into my eyes. “I guess the good general’s following us.”

  “True. Makes me homesick for New Orleans. I could go for some beignets right now.”

  “Mmmm, me, too.” She flipped over the map and kept her voice low. “What do you think we should do? Hit the historic spots, or go to some bars?”

  Harley had suggested a two-prong plan for infiltrating the commune. Our first attempt would be here in Savannah, where he hoped someone might approach us, try to recruit us to join them if they thought we fit the profile. But with Ben gone, it was possible that no one was actively bringing in new members, in which case we’d conveniently get lost on our way out of town and stumble onto the camp.