Tongue tied ds-8

by Richard Stevenson

  Anyway, as I described it all to Timmy, I made it plain that I had no choice in the matter. It was either carry out the tattoo job or Plankton just might blow Glodt's head apart.

  Timmy accepted my explanation with unexpected equanimity. He just said, "Wow.

  You spent an hour writing on this guy's naked butt."

  "I did. I fantasized about you, of course."

  "Did he have a nice one?"

  "It wasn't bad at all."

  "What did Thad Diefendorfer make of all this?"

  "He was revolted."

  "What a sweet guy he is. I hope we see him again."

  "We will. He and his partner and their lesbian housemates are coming for a visit with their little kid in August. Thad thinks they'd all like to visit the Berkshire llamas, if not suck the cheese."

  As we turned onto Crow Street, Timmy said, "If you wanted to, you could pay your respects to Jay Plankton again, too. On CNN about an hour ago the J-Bird said he planned on setting up a camp, probably in the Berkshires, where the victims of kidnappings could go for counseling and rest and rehabilitation. On his radio show tomorrow he's going to ask listeners for contributions to establish the carnp. And he's arranging to have at least twelve of the Iran U.S. Embassy hostages on the show this month. And then he's going to broadcast future shows from Colombia and the Philippines, where there are lots of what he called 'cruel and tragic kidnappings similar to my own and Leo Moyle's.' Americans will be able to see all this on television too, the J-Bird said, when simulcasting begins in the fall on the Gonzo Sports Network."

  But of course. "I'll say this much for Plankton," I told Timmy. "He's a vile sham, but he's nimble."

  "The kidnap victims' rehab camp," Timmy added, "is going to be called Camp Babette, after Plankton's fiancee. Oh, and the Bush campaign is going to make a cash contribution to the camp, and if Bush is elected, they said he'll be there for the grand opening."

  "At least we don't have to sweat that," I said. "Gore's got it nailed."

  Timmy parked the car and said, "Come on in the house, and maybe if I work at it I can talk you into writing messages on me for a change."

  I said it wouldn't take much.

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