Sarah Love

by Geraldine O'Neill

  “I think they’re just playing a few records,” Sarah said. “I know two of the girls are up early for work in the morning so it won’t be a late night.”

  They were just at the bottom of the stairs when Vivienne, who was standing at the kitchen door, came rushing towards her saying. “Ah, she’s not asleep! Here she is, James!”

  Sarah’s heart sank. Surely she hadn’t brought James Ryder back?

  Vivienne grabbed Sarah by the hand and started tugging her towards the kitchen and Sarah suddenly realised that she had been drinking again.

  She jerked her arm back hard, pulling out of Vivienne’s grasp. “I’m just seeing Lisha back across the road.”

  Several other people came out to the hall now, most of whom Sarah did not recognise. She turned back towards the door and just as she was ushering the girl out she heard James Ryder’s voice saying, “Goldilocks! What have you done to your hair?”

  It dawned on Sarah that of course he hadn’t seen her since she’d had it all cut off and she felt a wave of satisfaction. Hopefully, her changed appearance might encourage him to divert his attention elsewhere – perhaps even in Vivienne’s direction. From what she had learned about him and her recently, they were obviously well suited.

  When she came back into the house James Ryder was still waiting in the hallway and she knew there was no escape.

  “Miss Sarah Love!” His eyes lit up. “You look lovelier than ever. The new hairstyle is most becoming on you.” He took her hand. “We have some wine,” he told her. “Come and have a glass and tell me all about your bid to take over the fashion industry.”

  Vivienne waved her glass in front of Sarah’s face. “My last drink,” she said, raising her eyebrows meaningfully.

  They went into the kitchen and after James poured her a glass of white wine, Elizabeth introduced a nurse she worked with and James introduced two men who were medical students.

  After they had shaken hands, one of the men looked at Sarah. “Who,” he asked, “was the dusky young creature you were with earlier on?”

  Sarah’s brow furrowed. “Do you mean Lisha?”

  “A real beauty,” he said. “Is she coming back?”

  Sarah stared at him in shock. “She’s actually a schoolgirl – she’s only seventeen years old.”

  He raised his eyebrows. “There are young seventeen-year-olds – and there are old seventeen-year-olds . . .”

  “Well,” Sarah said, “Lisha is definitely one of the young ones.”

  James then guided her towards a couple who were entwined in a passionate embrace behind the door. He put a curled fist to his mouth and gave a loud theatrical cough which prompted them to spring apart.

  Sarah smiled when she saw it was Anna and then her face froze when she recognised the red-haired man who was with her.

  James put his arm around Sarah’s shoulder. “This is Gordon Ferguson,” he said gesturing with his wineglass. “And this, Gordon, is the lovely Irish colleen I told you all about.”

  Gordon Ferguson pushed his dark glasses higher on his nose. “Delighted to meet you, Sarah,” he said, shaking her hand. His eyes betrayed not a flicker of recognition.

  The gynaecologist turned towards Anna. “And are there many more of you lovely young ladies in the house?”

  “You’ve met everyone now apart from Jane,” Anna said, sliding her arm through his.

  Sarah noticed the smitten look on her housemate’s face and wondered if she knew the kind of man she had just been kissing. And if she did know about what had happened to Vivienne, would Anna care? Would Jane or Elizabeth care? A cold shiver ran through her. As she watched Vivienne leaning on the table looking as if she hadn’t a care in the world, Sarah felt, after months of living with them, that she hardly knew the other girls at all.

  * * *

  “Are you sure?” Lucy asked Sarah the following morning when they were hanging up their coats in the newly painted cloakroom. “You really don’t have to make up your mind straight away.”

  “I’m definitely sure,” Sarah said. “I just have to give a month’s notice and then I’m free to move out.”

  Lucy studied her for a few moments. “Has something happened? I thought you were too settled in the house to move.”

  Sarah wondered if she should try to explain, but she decided against it. She couldn’t bear it if Lucy told her she was being silly and old-fashioned about Vivienne’s morals or that she was being too judgemental about what Gordon Ferguson had done. She also didn’t want to explain that she had turned down an eligible doctor for the second time.

  “No, nothing in particular has happened.” Her voice gave nothing away. “I just feel it makes more sense for me to move in here. It’s much bigger and better than anything I could ever have hoped for and I won’t have to carry things back and forward to the shop.” She gave a weak smile. “And I won’t have to queue for the bathroom in the morning.”

  Lucy’s face lit up. “Oh, Sarah, I’m delighted!” she said, clapping her hands together. “The minute I saw you walking around the rooms I knew it was perfect for you.”

  “It is perfect,” Sarah said, looking around her. “And I know how lucky I am to have it.”

  Lucy’s face suddenly became serious. “There is only one concern – I’m worried that you might get too used to your own company down here. I want you to promise me that you’ll get out and about and mix with people – make a regular night when you go to the cinema or dancing with your friends.” She waved her hand around. “It would be too easy to just lock the shop door here and hide away working all night.”

  “I won’t,” Sarah told her. “I’ll still go to the cinema with Jane and some of the other girls.” She had decided when she was lying awake last night that the quieter, more strait-laced Jane definitely wouldn’t have condoned Vivienne’s wayward behaviour, and she was fairly sure that Elizabeth didn’t know either. She couldn’t speak for Anna, but if her romance with Gordon Ferguson continued, she was bound to find out what he was like soon enough.

  “Don’t forget I’ll be starting my fashion-design course in a few weeks’ time so I’ll be out of the flat two nights of the week for that.” Sarah smiled. “In fact it will suit me just grand, because I’ll be much nearer the college living here than in Victoria Street.” She halted. “We’ll have to sort out rent and bills and that kind of thing.”

  “You can cover the electricity and gas bills, but there will be no rent,” Lucy told her. “I’ve been thinking of giving you a rise for all the extra work you do, and this is a perfect solution.”

  Sarah shook her head vehemently. “I couldn’t . . . it’s far too much.”

  “I’m not arguing about it, Sarah,” Lucy said lightly. “You can consider yourself as being in a kind of caretaking capacity – you’ll be looking after the building for me and keeping it well maintained.” She shrugged. “With all the extra work you do for the shop, I know I’m coming out of the deal better, so let’s leave it at that. Besides, you can save the rent money for your future business plans.”

  “But, I don’t have any plans . . .”

  “Well,” Lucy said, “I’m very happy to keep the shop going for the foreseeable future, and as you know it’s doing well at the moment, but the time may come when I might want to sell up. When my father’s gone I will have his house as well as my own and I won’t have to rely on the business. As long as I have the time and the money to visit Charlotte and make sure she has everything she needs, that’s enough for me. You’re a young extremely talented woman at the start of your career and you should start planning now for the future.”

  “But I’m very happy with what I’m doing,” Sarah said. “And we’ve expanded the sewing service so that I’m doing household things as well as alterations.”

  “Why are you doing the fashion-design course, Sarah?”

  “It’s something I’ve always wanted to do, and I suppose it’s the most challenging, the most exciting area in the business.”

  “Exact
ly – so presumably you will want to one day create your own designs and sell them?”

  Sarah bit her lip. “Yes . . . I suppose I do.”

  “Start saving now,” Lucy advised her. “You never know what the future will bring.”

  “You’re right, but I still feel I should pay you some rent.”

  “The subject is closed,” Lucy told her, “and don’t forget we’re going furniture-hunting when we close at one o’clock today.” She smiled. “If it makes you feel better, you can think of trading your interior design ideas in lieu of rent.”

  Chapter 35

  The winter weather moved into spring and in March Sarah packed her belongings and said her goodbyes to the girls in Victoria Street. They were all surprised and even upset she was going, but she promised to call up regularly and told them they could drop up to her flat any time. Jane made her promise that they would go to the cinema every Friday night that she wasn’t working, and if there wasn’t a good film on they would find something else to do like the theatre or for a meal. Sarah promised her that she would keep to their nights out as Jane often worked two out of four Fridays, and she knew the arrangement would keep Lucy happy too.

  What Sarah hadn’t reckoned on was the effect it would have on Lisha. When she told her she was moving out of Victoria Street the girl broke down crying and said that she had already lost her father and now she was losing Sarah.

  “But I’m only moving half a mile away,” Sarah told her, “and you can call into me any evenings. In fact,” she said, “now I’m living in my own place, you can even come and stay the night.” Sarah didn’t know where the suggestion had come from as she hadn’t considered it before, but she supposed it wouldn’t do any harm.

  “Really?” Lisha said. “That would be great. Some of the girls at school stay at each other’s houses, but I’ve never done it.”

  “The couch on the three-piece suite goes down into a double bed, and I have spare blankets and pillows. You just have to check that it’s okay with your mother.” Sarah hadn’t imagined that she’d use the pull-down bed so soon, and she was grateful now that Lucy had suggested buying it. She had pointed out that Sarah might want any of the girls to stay overnight and in the summer she might want to put up friends or family from Ireland.

  “Oh, I’m so excited now,” Lisha said. “So when can I come and see your new flat?”

  Sarah thought quickly. “Saturday afternoon when the shop shuts at one o’clock. We could have a walk around the shops and maybe go for a Coke or something.”

  * * *

  The following Saturday Lisha arrived at the shop just as Lucy was putting the Closed sign on the door. “You’re very prompt,” she said, opening the door to let her in.

  “I’ve nothing else to do.” Lisha glanced towards the back of the shop where Sarah was sorting out boxes of embroidery threads. “I was up for swimming training at eight o’clock this morning and I’ve just been hanging about the house since I got back.” She gave Lucy a sidelong glance. “I wasn’t sitting about doing nothing – I helped my mum with the hoovering and things like that . . .”

  “I’ve heard you’re a busy girl. Sarah has shown me the lovely work you’ve done for her, haven’t you, Sarah?”

  “Indeed I have,” Sarah said, coming over to them. “She should do very well in her sewing exams at school.”

  “I’m not too sure about that,” Lisha said, rolling her eyes. “We have the grumpiest teacher in the school for sewing and she marks you down for the least little thing.”

  Sarah brought her upstairs and was delighted at the girl’s reaction to all the new decorating and the modern furniture.

  “Wow!” Lisha said, running a hand across the back of the new-style grey linen sofa with the wooden frame and arms. “I wish our house was like this.” She picked up a darker grey cushion with a pink heart appliquéd on it which picked up the tones in the grey and pink floral wallpaper. “That is gorgeous! I’d love something like that in my bedroom. All the girls in school would love it.”

  “I’ll show you how to make one,” Sarah told her. “It’s really easy.”

  Lisha looked around the room again, then she suddenly said, “Haven’t you got a telly in here?”

  “Not yet,” Sarah said, “but I might get one later.”

  They moved into the bedroom and Lisha was equally enthusiastic about the lilac and white abstract wallpaper and the teak bedroom suite. She posed in front of the double wardrobe which had an oval mirror in the centre and white marbled melamine inserts on the doors and sides. There was a matching dressing table, bedside cabinet and headboard for the double bed.

  “Is it okay if I look inside the wardrobe?” Lisha checked, and when Sarah nodded she opened the door wide to reveal the rail of coats and suits and skirts and dresses.

  “Did you make all those?”

  “Not all,” Sarah said. “I’ve bought a few of the dresses and blouses.”

  “They’re lovely,” Lisha said. She lifted out a short sleeveless dress with all different coloured panels. “Wow . . . I’ve never seen you wearing that. That’s the new short style that I saw a singer wearing on telly. Did you make it?”

  “Yes, I saw something like it in a magazine and I thought I’d have a go at it.” Sarah was enjoying chatting to someone young and so enthusiastic. “It was really easy. It’s not a totally new idea – it’s based on the sack dresses that have been out for a while, but when you look at the fashion pages in the newspapers and magazines you can see the lengths are getting shorter every year.” She laughed. “I’m not brave enough to wear it yet. I’ve only gone as far as the knee with skirts.”

  “Could I try it on?” Lisha asked.

  “Go on,” Sarah said, curious to see how it would look on the tall slim girl. She went out into the hallway to let Lisha change in private. A few moments later she came out bare-footed, wearing the dress.

  “You look like a model in it!” Sarah wasn’t just flattering her – she had seen dark-skinned girls in the fashion magazines and she looked very similar to them. “It’s really lovely on you.” Lisha twirled around, delighted with the compliments. “The only thing is, I think your mother might think it’s a bit short.”

  Lisha’s face was suddenly solemn. “At the moment she wouldn’t notice anything.”

  “I suppose she’s still thinking about your father. It will take her time to get over it . . . it’s only to be expected.”

  Lisha nodded but didn’t meet Sarah’s eyes. “I’ll just get changed.”

  Sarah could sense things were worse at home than the girl was saying and she wished she could help.

  “I was just thinking, Lisha,” she said when they were walking around the shops, “I could show you how to make a dress like the one you tried on. I have the pattern and I’m sure I have a remnant of material big enough to do it. Chat to your mum and see if you can stay next Friday or Saturday night and we could get started on it.”

  “Oh, brilliant!” Lisha said. She suddenly pointed across the street. “There’s a great café with a juke-box just behind there that my mum sometimes take me into.”

  Sarah immediately knew it was the café that she had been in with David McGuire. “Okay,” she said. “We’ll go and have some chips and a Coke.”

  When they walked into the café, Sarah felt a strange little empty feeling inside. It was almost like the feeling she first had when she had arrived in Newcastle and knew no one. They went to a booth which was just across from the one she and David had sat in the day she told him all about Vivienne being horrible about Irish people.

  As Lisha scanned the menu, Sarah remembered how he had made no issue about leaving his friends and had walked her all the way back up to the house. Compared to the crowd from the hospital that had been in the house the night before, he seemed so straightforward and so decent, and she knew he would have understood her feelings about Vivienne’s abortion. And being a Catholic, he would have understood it even more than Lucy would.

&nbs
p; It was a pity, Sarah thought, that the one person she felt she could talk to about absolutely anything – the one person she could have the best laugh with – had to be someone who fancied her. If he had just been happy to be friends with her – given her a bit of time . . . but he hadn’t. And then, of course, there had been all the complications with Harriet.

  Thank goodness she seemed to have got over it. When they were having a cup of tea in the mornings that the District Nurse dropped in, David McGuire was never referred to. It was almost as if he had never worked in the bookshop just a few yards away from them. And strangely, the shop now seemed like a different place. Sarah thought the new manager, Robert Wright, was a nice enough man, but an older and much more serious sort than his young devil-may-care predecessor.

  Sarah’s thoughts were interrupted when she suddenly noticed a middle-aged couple who were staring across at her and Lisha and obviously talking about them. From the snatches of conversation she overheard, she knew they were discussing her Irish accent and the colour of the young girl’s skin. Sarah lifted her head up as high as she could and then gave them a long, cool look which made them turn away.

  “Is it okay if I put a record on the juke-box?” Lisha asked, oblivious to the attention they had been receiving. “I have my own pocket money.”

  “Hang on a second,” Sarah said, delving into her handbag. She slid a shilling across the table. “You’ll get a few for that.”

  “Are you sure? Oh, thanks.” She moved out of the booth. “I’ll play one for you. Who would you like?”

  “I don’t mind . . .” Sarah was trying to sound relaxed and casual, because she didn’t want Lisha to know how annoyed she was at the ignorant people.

  “Oh, no, you’ve got to pick one.”

  She thought for a moment. “See if they’ve got Gerry and the Pacemakers, ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’ or the other big hit they had.”