A Change In Tide (Northern Lights Book 1)

by Freya Barker

  “Look up,” she urges, dropping her head back down to my shoulder, and placing her hand in the middle of my chest.

  It’s the most awe-inspiring thing I’ve ever seen.

  “My God,” I manage, pulling Mia closer as if to ground me.

  “So beautiful,” she whispers, the wonder evident in her voice.

  Streaks of hazy colour paint the sky, undulating like a sheet in the wind. Mist rippling from left to right across the dark expanse, like the changing of the tides, in hues from green to purple.

  I’m transfixed in the ghostly glow touching my skin.

  Aurora Borealis.

  THIRTY-TWO

  Jared

  “Are you ready?”

  Brian’s question puts a smile on my face. I’m more than ready for the season opener tomorrow, but that’s not all I’m ready for.

  It’s been almost two weeks since the first exhibition game, and the boys have made massive strides since that first loss. I was glad for the defeat, to be honest. A win might have made them too cocky, right off the bat, and it’s hard to convince these competitive kids they need to be better, when they already think they’re top dog. Nothing like a loss to make you hungry. And I loved feeding that hunger. I loved the promise of possibilities.

  Ever since Mia woke me up on the dock to see the Northern Lights, a spectacle I never expected to see in my lifetime, I’ve had this sense of renewed purpose. No longer searching for my place, but knowing I’ve found it. On the team, in my home, with Mia, and even with my sister, who seems to have found her own stride. With LeBlanc.

  Jordy had come back the morning after the midnight display, full of excitement. Apparently they’d seen them too, from John’s back deck. I tried my best not to think about what she might have been doing in the middle of the night. I may have seen her give birth to a baby, but I still prefer to think of my sister as innocent and requiring my protection.

  She assured me she’d take things one day at a time, for now, making it clear her main priority was her son, but that she was nevertheless falling for John. I could see that; not only in the way Jordy lit up whenever he’d call or come around, but I could see why. He was good to her with a gentle but strong hand. I couldn’t deny he scored high the minute he picked up Ole without flinching, when the kid had just sharted all over his diaper and his sleeper, and took him in the bathroom to clean him up. Big points for baby shit.

  So when I finally answer Brian’s question, it’s with more in mind than just the game.

  “Absolutely.”

  “I’m planning to come up and Sandy wants to come. Maybe we can go out for dinner after? Celebrate your birthday?”

  I hadn’t really thought about my birthday much, although I’ve walked in on more than one suddenly stilted conversation between Mia and my sister. They may well be up to something.

  “Not sure if Mia will make it. She’s not good with crowds, and has offered to look after Ole so Jordy can come.” It’s not only the crowds in the arena, but the noise and the constant shuffle of bodies in tight quarters that would surely be too much for her. So I didn’t ask, and she didn’t offer, she was happy to look after the baby so my sister could be there. That’s more than I can expect, even if I’d love to have her by my side.

  “We’ll figure it out,” Brian says easily, not pushing the issue. “We’ll meet you by the locker room after. Have a good game.”

  Mia

  Jared left early this morning, but not without a little bit of a birthday celebration in the shower. I wasn’t about to let him sneak off while I was asleep, as he does sometimes. Instead, I slipped into the bathroom, surprising him when I slid the door open and stepped under the water with him. He managed to show me he hadn’t retained any permanent injuries from helping me pull up the carpet, when he fucked me up against the tile wall, under the hot spray. I was able to send him off with a satisfied smile on his face and a promise I’d be waiting for him when he got home after the game.

  As he explained, his day would start with morning practice and then tactical meetings, which sounded painfully boring to me, but put a light of excitement in Jared’s eyes. After those they’d have a light afternoon meal with the entire team, and then it would be time for them to dress for their warm-up.

  He explained this to me, so I would understand how it would keep him busy the entire day, when I mentioned wanting to do something for his birthday. Instead we agreed to maybe do a little celebrating on the weekend, something I’d wanted him to believe. In the meantime, Jordy and I have been concocting our own plans.

  I spend my morning making room in Jared’s dresser and walk-in closet. After washing all of my clothes and linens over the past weeks, I kept them here, in the spare bedroom. Today I was going to move them into the master suite.

  I’d made the decision the night of the Northern Lights. Life is too short to wait for circumstances to be perfect. As they say, if it stays in your mind, it’s worth taking the risk—and I’ve not been able to think of anything else. Once I made the decision for myself, it was easy to talk to Jordy, and it had been ridiculously simple for the two of us to come up with the perfect solution. That’s why Jordy is at the cottage, talking to Joe, and why I am here, fitting my underwear in a drawer.

  By the time I have my clothes all tucked away, Joe’s truck is rolling down the driveway, with Jordy riding shotgun. There’d been only a few things I’d wanted from the cottage and most of it I’d already put aside for them to bring over. Jordy comes in first, carrying my laptop and printer, and as if on cue, Ole’s cries call out.

  “Can you believe that kid? I swear he can smell me,” she complains, dumping her load on the couch, before stomping down the hall to the nursery.

  Joe follows in at a slower pace and carries in a box of my favourite kitchen stuff. I’d packed that, as well as a few of my favourite books, a couple of pictures and albums, some knick-knacks, and my mother’s china. Those made up the most valuable of my possessions, and I needed them to put a mark on my new home.

  “Just put them in the spare room over here, Joe,” I direct him, leading the way down the hall. That had been Jordy’s idea, to convert the spare bedroom into an office for me, so I’d have a place to put my stuff and do my graphic work.

  “Just three more,” he says, heading back outside.

  “Did you fit everything?” Jordy asks, when I walk into the living room, finding her on the couch, nursing Ole under a towel—for Joe’s sake, I’m sure.

  “Yup. Your brother is less of a clothes horse than I expected, and what I have fits on five hangers and in one large drawer. It’s pathetic.”

  “We’ll go shopping sometime soon. It’s been way too long since I’ve hit a good mall,” she says, a big grin on her face. I can’t hide my revulsion at that suggestion. “Or not,” she adds, laughing out loud. “Maybe I’ll just hook you up with my favourite online stores.”

  “Now that I can get onboard with,” I sigh, relieved.

  It doesn’t take Joe long to carry the rest of my stuff in, and he takes off back around the bay to the cottage.

  “How much does he have left to do?” I ask Jordy.

  “Not much. He just needs to finish putting hardware up in the bathroom. The fans have been running all morning and you can barely tell we painted this morning. That new non-toxic paint really works.”

  It’s already four o’clock when John walks in, and by now my stomach is in knots, despite the pep talk Rueben gave me over the phone earlier. John gives my shoulder a squeeze before walking over to Jordy, cupping her face and kissing her sweetly. It almost distracts me from my nervousness. Almost, but not quite. I was grateful he’d been willing and able to change his shift, all so he could look after Ole when he heard from Jordy what we were thinking about.

  With Jared gone a good eight to ten hours every day, it hadn’t been too difficult getting done what we needed to. Even Jake, our security guy, had been coerced into keeping mum about the increase in activity at the cottage.


  I quietly followed Jordy out of the house after we said our goodbyes to Ole and John, and I stayed quiet during most of our drive. But seeing the sign for Barrie on the side of the road, I’m getting cold feet and sweaty palms.

  “Don’t,” Jordy snaps when she sees me wring my hands. “Get out of your head, girlfriend. I know I promised you could back out at any time, but I lied. I’m not about to let you do that. I know you’d regret it.”

  Indignant anger surges over me, effectively chasing away the jitters. Just as fast as my temper flared, it’s gone again.

  “You’re a manipulative little witch, aren’t you?” I accuse her, only half-serious, and smiling widely. “Well played.” She simply shrugs her shoulders and with a cocky smile, reminiscent of her brother’s, she drives us to the arena.

  As promised, with the first period over and the second underway, the crowds are already in their seats, and there is barely anyone in the parking lot. Jordy firmly holds my hand as she leads me past the Kingston Frontenacs’ big tour bus, the Colts’ opponents tonight, into the back entrance, where she stops and gives me a moment to adjust.

  Aside from the guard, who checked our names upon entry, there is no one in this hallway, but the roar of the ongoing game is all around us. The cheering crowd and loud music, with the bass pounding, is almost deafening. My heart rate speeds up significantly, but the breathing exercises I’ve been practicing help me keep the blinding panic at bay.

  Jordy squeezes my hand to get my attention, and points toward a short tunnel. At the end I can see the ice under the bright lights. Taking in a deep breath and letting it out, I nod sharply. We slowly start moving in that direction, the noise getting impossibly louder the closer we get to the ice.

  I stop right where the tunnel opens up. I don’t want to be visible, and I need that escape route at my back in case things get to be too much. The entire time, Jordy holds my clammy hand tight. It takes a while, but by the time the buzzer sounds to end the second period, I’ve started to get a feel for the rhythm of the game and am no longer as startled by cheering and sudden loud music. Even my heart rate has returned to an easier pace. But when I see a few members of the opposing team stepping into the tunnel, it picks up again.

  “Let’s get out of their way and hide out in the washrooms,” Jordy says, quickly leading me back into the hallway that runs all the way around the arena. The washrooms already have a line up, so instead we slip past the security guard to wait outside.

  There are a few more people out here, mostly folks having a smoke, but thankfully no one pays us much attention.

  “Are you ready to try the home side, this time?” Jordy wants to know when people start filing in the doors again. She’d led me into the visitor’s tunnel earlier, to minimize the chance of Jared spotting us. I was worried if he saw me, he wouldn’t have his mind on his job, but I wanted to be there to greet him when he came off the bench after the game.

  “Absolutely,” I confirm with much more conviction than I’m feeling. Jordy knows it, which is why she laughs as she pulls me back inside. As earlier, there’s hardly anyone left in the halls and this time we turn the opposite way. Just as we round a turn, we bump into the back of a Colts’ player who, along with a his teammates, seems to be listening to someone talk. My first instinct is to turn back, until I hear Jared’s voice.

  “I want you to play hard but goddammit, play fair! No more dirty hits, no slew-footing, no spearing. You’ve wasted enough time in the box. I see that shit again and your ass is on the bench indefinitely!” A rumble of protests goes up, but quickly dies down as Jared continues at a more moderate volume. “The guys you face have signed up for battle, just like you. But they signed up for an honest fight, taking the risks that come with it. Can you imagine what it would feel like if you were responsible for badly injuring someone, ending their career, and you had to live the rest of your life with the knowledge it happened because YOU played dirty? I’m not even talking about the consequences you’d have to face at the hands of the league.” He pauses, clearly for effect, before he raises his voice and his passion rings through. “Don’t do it. I promise you the victory will be so much sweeter when you claim a fair win. With integrity. That is the sign of a superior player. Something I know each and every one of you have the capacity to grow into. Start NOW!”

  Jordy and I jump back when amidst yells and cheers, the team turns as one and marches right by us, and into the tunnel.

  I don’t have time to panic, I’m still reeling from Jared’s impassioned speech. I only know he was a great player because of what I’m told, but I’ve just heard firsthand proof of the amazing coach he is. Pride puts a big smile on my face, even as Jared’s face goes slack with shock when he catches sight of us.

  Jared

  What?

  The last thing I expect to see, right after tearing a strip off of the boys for trying to overpower the other team with force, rather than skill, are the beaming faces of Mia and my sister.

  I’m standing there, slack-jawed and rendered dumb, when finally Jordy’s giggle breaks me out of my stupor and prompts me to form words.

  “What are you doing here?” I ask almost on a whisper, but Mia hears me, even over the whistle for the puck drop and the resulting cheers from the crowd.

  “Happy birthday,” she grins, and I can’t believe she’s actually smiling. The din of the game is ear-splitting but all I hear is her voice.

  “Kesla!” The yell bounces around the walls of the tunnel, just as I step up to cup Mia’s face.

  “I love you,” she whispers against my lips, closing over her mouth.

  “Jesus fucking Christ—Kesla! Get your ass out here!”

  “Go,” Mia mumbles as she pulls back, long before I’m ready to let her go. “I’ll see you after. Go look after your guys.” I manage to tap my sister on her nose before I find myself pushed into the tunnel.

  I rush to join my team on the bench, but not without throwing a last glance back at the two most important women in my life.

  -

  The girls are still there when I come out of the tunnel, following behind the excited shouts of victory from the guys.

  I’d wondered a few times in the past forty-five minutes. The noise from the enthused home crowd had risen, along with the intensity of the game. We’d gone into the third leading by one, the equalizer came with eight minutes left, and that had been the only time the arena had gone almost silent. Those last minutes had been a wild frenzy, with the Frontenacs scrambling to keep the Colts from scoring. Until the clock started ticking down the seconds, and in a volley of shots on the Kingston goal, the puck finally found its way to the back of the net. The roar of the crowd had been thunderous.

  I keep my eyes locked on Mia’s, who looks a lot less confident than she did earlier. This is costing her. I notice her hand holding on to my sister’s like a lifeline, and trying to disappear in the shadows against the wall. Yet the moment I’m within reach she lets go, and throws herself in my arms.

  “You won.”

  Not giving two shits about the hallway full of pumped up, sweaty kids, I haul her on tiptoes and take her mouth to loud whistles and catcalls. It doesn’t matter. The moment she opens her lips to me, every sense in my body is focused on her. Her taste, her scent, the way her curls cling to my fingers when I plunge them in her hair, and the sound of her soft moan when my tongue says everything without forming a word.

  I kiss her like my life depends on it. Maybe it does.

  THIRTY-THREE

  Mia

  “He’ll be here soon.”

  I turn to Brian’s voice and nod in response. I’m barely hanging on and it seems everyone can read it right off me. It only makes me more on edge.

  It had felt like a victory for me, too, when Jared swept me up in his arms and every nerve crawling like insects under my skin instantly disappeared. I no longer saw the flashes of the press cameras or heard the cacophony of sounds. His kiss left a mellow haze behind that lasted until Jordy
drove us down the drive toward the house.

  Brian’s car had been parked at the end, along with John’s. Although I’d briefly met Brian and his wife at the arena after the game, I was nervous walking into the house when they were already there. Jordy’s enthusiasm, when she walked in ahead of me, helped and after a quick hello, I could escape into the kitchen to heat the food she and I had prepared earlier.

  “Good,” I answer with a smile. I guess my relief is obvious, because Brian chuckles softly as he drapes his arm around my shoulders.

  “I’m happy for him,” he says, surprising me. “Don’t get me wrong, Jared’s always been a good guy. A kind and decent man, who would turn into something else completely the moment he strapped on his skates. Outside of hockey, he rarely let anything touch him. He lived on the surface.” I find myself turned sideways to face him, pulled in by the insight of Brian’s words. Not just his agent, but clearly a good friend. “It was only on the ice he gave his heart,” he continues. “That’s where his passion showed. Where the world would disappear and he’d completely come alive.” He shifts slightly, so both hands are resting on my shoulders, and his head dips down a little to look me in the eye. “I thought he’d lost that when his career ended. Thought I’d never see that pure emotion in him again—until you.”

  “I...He does the same for me,” I manage to rasp out, more than just a little overwhelmed. Before either of us can say anything else, headlights cut through the window.

  “He’s here!” Jordy announces, almost bouncing on her feet.

  Instantly, the fist squeezing my stomach unfurls and a feeling of excitement takes over.

  Jared steps in the door and freezes on the spot. He takes one look around the room Jordy had taken great pleasure in decorating, with a ridiculous amount of balloons and garland, and zooms right in on his sister. Jordy giggles at the slight shake of his head and barely hidden grin on his face.