Outback Sisters

by Rachael Johns

  Something shifted inside his chest and he fought the urge to hold her close, to tell her everything would be okay. But it wasn’t his role to comfort her.

  ‘I’m going inside,’ Harriet said, yanking her hand from Simone’s.

  Simone looked torn—as if she wasn’t sure whether to chase after her daughter or stay and talk to him. ‘Don’t you think about running off again,’ she called, ‘Drew and Mike are out looking for you.’

  Harriet turned back, hands on her hips. ‘You called the police?’

  At that moment Grace appeared at the front door and flung herself at Harriet. ‘You’re back. I missed you so much.’

  ‘Get off me, squirt,’ Harriet replied, but she sounded kind of chuffed. ‘I’m starving. Let’s go inside and eat something.’

  As the girls disappeared into the house, Simone hugged her arms around herself and smiled at him. ‘What did she think I’d do? Throw a party?’

  Her smile did weird things to his insides and he couldn’t help smiling back, secretly pleased he’d had the opportunity to see her again.

  ‘Thank you,’ she said again, her voice shaky. ‘I can’t thank you enough.’

  ‘I’m glad I could help. And I hope she opens up to you. She’s hurting pretty bad at the moment.’

  Simone closed her eyes briefly and cursed so softly he barely heard it. ‘She talked to you?’

  ‘A little,’ he confessed, not wanting to upset her but also wanting to prolong their time together. ‘I asked her why she was running away and she told me she broke up with her boyfriend. The one you hated. She was planning to go live with her grandma.’

  ‘Oh God.’ Simone ran a hand through her hair, but her fingers got caught in the tangles. She yanked them out. ‘I must look like a mess. I am a fucking mess. And I’m a terrible mother.’

  ‘You’re not.’ He couldn’t help stepping closer to her and placing his hand against her arm in an attempt at comfort. A jolt of heat shot through him at the connection and he told himself to get a grip. Now was not the time to make a move—Simone was upset and vulnerable and hadn’t he already decided that making a move would be a very bad idea? ‘Just talk to her. If she’s really hurting, then deep down I’m sure she wants her mum.’

  Lord knew, even as a grown man, there’d been many times he just wanted his mum to wrap her arms around him and offer him the kind of comfort only a mother could.

  She nodded. ‘Good advice.’

  He dropped his hand and smiled back. ‘Good luck.’

  ‘Would you like to come in for a coffee? Or even dinner?’ she asked. ‘Not that it’ll be anything flash, but I’m good at heating up stuff in the microwave.’

  He chuckled. ‘Thanks. That sounds almost too good to refuse, but I told my sister I’d have a late dinner with her when I get to Perth. And I think Harriet needs to talk to you more than I need a coffee right now.’

  She nodded again. ‘Yes, you’re right. Guess I’m a little bit nervous at that prospect. I don’t want to fail her again.’

  He loved that she was so honest with him. They barely knew each other but it didn’t feel like that. He felt strangely invested in Simone and even in her daughters. ‘You won’t,’ he promised and then he turned to go before he could change his mind.

  ‘Can I have your number?’ she called after him when he was almost at his ute.

  He stopped, closed his eyes a moment and then finally turned around. ‘Why?’

  She blinked. ‘I just thought maybe we could … catch up sometime? I could thank you properly for bringing Harriet home.’

  Images of exactly how she might choose to thank him ambushed him, every red blood cell in his body overheating. But remembering the weekend of the wedding and how hurt Logan would be if he ever found out, Angus took a deep breath. ‘Seeing you guys reunited is thanks enough. Goodnight, Simone.’

  And then he got into his ute and drove away.

  * * *

  Simone closed the door behind her and then banged her head against it, welcoming the pain as a momentary distraction from all her other crap.

  Seriously … could this day get any worse?

  Her cheeks burned from the mortification of Angus’s brush-off. She’d thought she’d felt something between them when he was standing there, but it must have all been her imagination. He’d looked at her with pity at her request and then hadn’t been able to get away fast enough. She was glad he’d been the one to stop for Harriet and not some crazed psycho serial killer, but she could have done without the awkward reminder that what they’d shared was nothing but sex for him.

  When he asked why she wanted his number, she should have told him outright. Because, Angus too-hot-to-be-true Knight, I’m pregnant with your child and I thought maybe we should discuss what we wanted to do about that. You know, before it turns twenty-one!

  She sighed and rested her hand on her flat stomach. ‘I’m sorry, baby,’ she whispered. ‘Mummy is a coward and Daddy is a dick.’ But she hadn’t been expecting to see him again so soon, so hadn’t had time to prepare what to say to him. Hell, she’d barely had time to comprehend the news herself.

  ‘But he’s a good-looking dick,’ she added, rubbing her hand back and forth. She hated that her damn hormones, which should have been taking a back seat now that she had bigger issues to focus on, had stood up and panted like puppies at the sight of him. It had been so difficult to focus when she was struggling not to gape and drool over the impressive specimen of masculinity standing before her. If anything, his appeal had increased since the last time they’d met.

  And maybe, Simone had to concede, he wasn’t really such a dick after all. If so, he would have left her daughter stranded on the side of the road.

  The powers that be must have a sick sense of humour because surely there were better candidates for third-time motherhood out there. Women who didn’t have one-night stands with near strangers. Women who could cook and knew the right things to say when their teenage daughter was obviously falling apart.

  Thinking of Harriet reminded Simone that she was the number-one priority right now. There’d be plenty of time tomorrow and the day after that to worry about Angus and the baby. She had quite some time before anyone would notice the pregnancy, so there was no need to make any decisions just yet. It was time to heave herself up off the floor and have a long-overdue chat with her daughter. But first she’d better call Drew and tell him the good news.

  ‘That’s great,’ Drew said, sounding genuinely relieved. ‘I was just about to come around and make this official.’

  ‘Sorry about the trouble. I hope you and Ruby have a good weekend.’

  ‘No worries, Simmo. I’m sure we’ll have our own kid problems one of these days and then you can give us advice because you’ll already have all the answers.’

  She half-laughed. ‘I doubt that. But thanks again.’

  After hanging up on Drew, Simone found Harriet and Grace sitting on the couch in the lounge room, stuffing their faces with café leftovers and watching Neighbours as if this was a perfectly normal Friday evening.

  ‘Harriet, can we talk?’ she said, speaking loudly over the noise of the TV.

  ‘Do we have to?’ she whined. ‘I’m busy here and I’d rather just pretend today never happened.’

  ‘Yes, I think we do,’ Simone replied. ‘You can bring your dinner into my bedroom.’

  Harriet let out an exaggerated sigh, dumped her near-empty plate on the coffee table and stood. ‘Don’t even think about finishing that,’ she said to Grace before walking out of the room.

  ‘Go on into my bedroom,’ Simone said. ‘I’ve just got to get something.’

  Without a word, Harriet did as she was told. Progress, thought Simone, as she headed into the kitchen, grabbed two spoons and a tub of cookies and cream ice-cream from the freezer. Thank God she’d been too tired and queasy that afternoon to drown her own sorrows with it.

  When she entered her bedroom, she found Harriet leaning against her dresser, as if hop
ing this talk would be over ASAP.

  ‘Take a seat on the bed.’ Simone nodded towards it, wanting to sound firm but not pushy. She needed to find the fine line between being a friend and a mother.

  With the speed of a sloth, Harriet made her way to the bed and perched herself on the very edge. Simone took it as a step in the right direction and sat down beside her. She opened the ice-cream and handed Harriet a spoon. ‘Dig in.’

  Harriet glared at the spoon. ‘What is this? Your attempt at some kind of mother–daughter bonding? Are you trying to lull me into a false sense of security before you unleash your fury?’

  ‘I want you to feel secure here,’ Simone said. ‘I feel terrible that you felt the need to run away. I love you and it breaks my heart that you don’t feel like you can open up to me anymore.’

  ‘And whose fault is that?’

  ‘Mine.’ Although she thought Harriet had at least a small share of the blame, Simone choose not to mention this. ‘And I want to fix it. Will you at least give me a chance?’

  In reply, Harriet gouged the ice-cream with her spoon and then shoved it into her mouth. Simone followed suit, thinking it might be best not to say too much and to give Harriet the opportunity to open up. They ate in silence a few moments and although Harriet kept her eyes trained on the tub of ice-cream, Simone took the time to really look at her daughter.

  The blue hair didn’t look that bad now that she thought about it. Perhaps she’d overreacted. As a teenager she’d gotten henna tattoos, frequently changed her hair colour—although not quite as dramatically—and had her nose pierced without asking her mum’s permission. She reached out her hand and brushed it over Harriet’s hair. ‘You know, I think blue kinda suits you.’

  Harriet flicked away Simone’s hand like it was a pesky mosquito and then dumped her spoon in the tub and folded her arms. ‘You’ve changed your tune.’

  Simone swallowed her pride. ‘I haven’t really. You just got me on a bad day. And I would have preferred it if you’d asked my permission.’

  ‘You’d probably have said “no”.’

  ‘I’d probably have asked if you could wait till the school holidays but I’m not a complete ogre. I do remember what it was like to be young.’

  Harriet rolled her eyes. She really was very good at it. ‘Because of you, Jaxon dumped me.’

  Simone frowned. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘You grounded me, so I couldn’t go to Alyssa’s party, and he hooked up with someone else.’

  ‘Oh, honey.’ Simone wrapped her arms around her and surprisingly Harriet didn’t pull back. ‘If he could do that to you, he doesn’t deserve you. You deserve a boy who treats you like a princess.’

  Harriet came undone, her tears spilling down her cheeks as she clung to her mother. Simone held her close and stroked her hair, making soothing noises, exactly like she’d done when Harriet was little and upset because she’d scraped her knee or couldn’t find her favourite Barbie.

  They sat this way for at while before Harriet sniffed and said, ‘I think it might also be because I refused to sleep with him.’

  Although she was hurting for her little girl, pride surged through Simone at this confession. She couldn’t help smiling, but thankfully Harriet was still buried against her chest and couldn’t see. ‘Good for you,’ she whispered. ‘That’s one thing you don’t ever want to feel pressured into doing before you’re ready.’

  Harriet pulled back slightly and looked her mum in the eyes. ‘I know. And I don’t want to get pregnant or anything, but it still hurts.’

  Simone almost choked on her own tongue at Harriet’s words. Turned out her daughter had more smarts than her and had thankfully been doing as she said rather than as she did. ‘You’re a good girl, Harriet. I’m sorry I’ve been—’

  Harriet interrupted. ‘It’s okay, Mum. I’ve been a little bitch, I know. I’m sorry.’

  ‘I love you,’ Simone said, tears sprouting in her eyes too.

  ‘I love you, too.’ This time Harriet initiated the hug and emotion clogged Simone’s throat. She made a silent vow to be a better mother, from this day forward. To be there for her daughters, no matter what ridiculous scrapes she’d gotten herself into.

  ‘I really want to be here for you,’ she said. ‘You know you can talk to me about anything. I’ll never judge you. And please don’t ever run away like that again. That hour you were missing was the worst time of my life.’

  ‘I’m sorry, Mum, I promise I won’t do it again.’

  That was music to Simone’s ears. ‘And I promise I’ll try not to fly off the handle again,’ she said.

  ‘Deal.’ Harriet looked down at the ice-cream. ‘It’s melting.’

  Simone laughed. ‘Guess we’d better go put it back in the freezer then.’

  ‘Can I go watch TV again?’

  ‘What do you say I make some popcorn and we all watch a movie together?’

  ‘Do I get to pick?’

  Simone pretended to consider this a moment, then, ‘Yes.’

  The two of them left the bedroom and while Simone put the ice-cream back in the freezer, Harriet went to select a DVD. Simone didn’t care what she chose, she was simply happy to have her daughter back.

  Later, as she sat on the couch, squished between her two girls watching The Fault in Our Stars, she thought about the news Dr McDonald had delivered that afternoon. Being a single parent again terrified her, but there was no way she was getting rid of this baby or giving it away. She’d been mothering alone for ten years and it might not always be a bed of roses but it was the most rewarding thing she’d ever done.

  Even if Angus didn’t want anything to do with this little one, she would love it with all her heart.

  Chapter Twenty-seven

  Angus stabbed his fork into his seafood linguine, twisted it round and then lifted it to his mouth. Opposite him at their favourite Italian restaurant sat Olivia, her blonde hair tied back in a neat, high ponytail and her blue eyes radiant as she spoke, gesturing enthusiastically with her hands.

  ‘They’ve just given us our placings for teaching practice and all my friends have got these fancy private schools and you’ll never guess where I’m going?’

  Liv and Logan were alike in looks and also in their sunny personalities, but right now, he couldn’t help seeing a likeness to Simone’s daughters as well. Dammit, why did every single thought he have come back to her?

  Olivia sighed and he realised she’d asked him a question.

  ‘What’s going on?’ she said, her head cocked to one side, scrutinising him. He was pretty sure that wasn’t her original question.

  Although he’d had the four-hour drive to Perth to contemplate his feelings about seeing Simone again, he still couldn’t get his head around them and was finding it hard to concentrate on Liv’s conversation. ‘I’m sorry. What were you saying about uni?’

  She waved a hand in dismissal. ‘Nothing worth repeating.’ Then she narrowed her eyes at him. ‘What’s going on with you?’

  ‘Nothing,’ he was quick to answer, although his gut clenched with the denial. Since the wedding, it felt as if someone else had been walking around inside his body and he’d hoped a weekend with Olivia would help him get back to his old self.

  She raised a sceptical eyebrow at him and picked up her wine glass. ‘You might be able to fool Logan,’ she said, ‘but not me. You’ve been acting weird since you arrived. Is there a problem on the farm or is this about Logan?’

  As Liv took a sip of her wine, the knot in Angus’s stomach twisted even more. She couldn’t possibly know about him betraying Logan with Simone or she wouldn’t have greeted him that evening with such an enthusiastic hug. ‘What about Logan?’ he managed.

  She blinked. ‘His eyesight,’ she said, as if he were dense.

  ‘Right.’ He nodded, guilty when relief swept over him. ‘Yeah,’ he lied. ‘I can’t believe it. I guess he called you?’

  She nodded and sniffed. He knew her well enough to know she was
fighting tears and he reached across the table and wrapped her small hand in his.

  ‘I know. I thought things like this only happened to old people. Is he really handling it as well as he makes out?’

  Angus shrugged. ‘No idea, he only just told me as well, but knowing him, he’s probably trying to put on a brave face for us. You know there’s a possibility we might have it too, or at least carry the gene?’

  ‘Yes. I’m going to get tested. Are you?’

  ‘I haven’t even thought about it.’ He’d had other things on his mind and he picked up his glass to try to distract himself.

  ‘Well, I guess you only need to consider it if you meet someone and decide to have kids,’ said Olivia.

  Angus almost choked on the swig of beer he’d just taken. ‘You know I’m not interested in anything … anything like … that.’

  Liv was quiet a moment, staring at him as if he were a book she was trying to read. And then, ‘What aren’t you telling me, big brother?’

  ‘Nothing,’ he said, but his whole body heated with the lie.

  ‘Oh my God,’ Olivia shrieked. ‘You’ve met someone!’

  ‘Shh,’ Angus hissed, glancing around the restaurant to see people looking at them.

  Liv simply laughed. ‘What’s her name? Where’d you meet her? Does Logan know? I demand you tell me every intimate detail.’

  So much for her helping to take his mind off the dramas with Harriet and Simone. Olivia wouldn’t back down until he’d convinced her there was nothing to get excited about. And how did she do that anyway—simply look at him and know things? If he protested too much, she’d guess something was up, so he tried another tack. ‘Don’t wet your pants or anything, because nothing will come of it.’

  Liv’s smile faded. ‘Why not?’

  As the whole truth was out of the question, he improvised, sticking as close to it as possible. ‘I may have met someone I like a little but it’s complicated.’

  ‘How so?’

  ‘She has kids. Teenage daughters in fact—and I’ve only just gotten rid of you.’

  She poked her tongue at him. ‘Does this woman have a name? And what’s wrong with kids? You were great with me and …’ Her voice drifted off but he could guess what she’d been about to say.