Always Means Forever

by Deborah Fletcher Mello

  He’d blessed her with his trademark smile, introducing himself, and though he wasn’t typical of the men Ava was usually attracted to, there had been something about him that had captured her attention. Ava had begun to look forward to seeing him although they both maintained a politely distant relationship. But it had been Wiley who’d changed the direction of Ava’s life, a casual comment steering her on a path she’d not considered before.

  It had been a rainy Saturday night and Ava had come in bedecked in a formal, candy-apple-red satin ball gown. Her date for the evening, a United States senator with some considerable prestige, had stood her up, not even bothering to call to cancel their dinner plans.

  Ava had been livid, her anger furrowing her brow, but she’d made light of it, even spinning a joke or two over the situation. Wiley had laughed and then jokingly commented that Ava needed to write a book about the tribulations of her love life. Two years later, Ava St. John was reborn, a national bestselling author making the rounds on the talk show circuit. And through it all Wiley still smiled when she came in for her movies, treating her no differently from how he’d treated her that very first day.

  It wasn’t long before Ava was settled comfortably on the sectional sofa in her family room, in oversize flannel pajamas with a chenille blanket wrapped around her body. The first of her five movies had begun to play and a large bowl of freshly popped popcorn tossed with peanut M&M’s, Goobers and Raisinets rested in her lap.

  As she pulled a handful of the mixture into her mouth, she reflected on just how uneventful her Friday nights really were. Few would have imagined that the infamous Ava St. John rarely had a real date most weekends and wasn’t even remotely involved with a man who was actually interested in her. Although the autobiography that she’d written read like good fiction, if Ava was totally forthcoming, she’d have to admit to embellishing a few of the events that had gotten her noticed.

  Proclaiming herself the misunderstood mistress of some select politicians and an accused war criminal during a campaign year had hardly been anything to brag about. In fact, one reviewer had called her tome a “walking waste of breath” and since sex scandals had been around since the days of Sodom and Gomorrah, Ava knew that she truly hadn’t accomplished anything by sharing the dust and dirt in her closet.

  But she’d liked writing and the process of publication had been her true source of accomplishment, a nice reward for her fragile ego. Since then she’d penned some two hundred pages of fiction that she hoped to sell. The story was about two sisters who closely resembled her and Ella, except that her sisters actually loved each other.

  Ava heaved a deep sigh, reaching for the remote to the DVD player to rewind what she’d just missed. Thinking about Ella and the mess they’d both made of their lives tended to be a huge distraction. This last fiasco, though, was weighing heavily on Ava’s conscience. There had been something about Darwin that she had liked, something she could see in that brief moment that had made him stand out as a man above other men. His smile had been genuine, reminding her of her friend Wiley, and he hadn’t been taken in by Ava’s charms. In fact, nothing about him had been enamoured with Ava and she could appreciate that he hadn’t fawned all over her hoping she would be a conquest he could brag about to his friends. The man was clearly made from moral fiber that would not be compromised and both she and Ella had made light of that. What they said about payback might prove to be prophetic, Ava mused, and that very thought was haunting. She heaved another sigh, shoved a second handful of popcorn into her mouth and lifted her eyes back to her movie.

  Chapter 12

  They’d talked on the telephone every day for over a week, their conversations lasting for hours on end. The business trip for Darwin to tape at an annual food festival in San Francisco had not just been an excuse to keep them apart, although, if the truth were told, both would have to admit they were still reeling from their last encounter alone. The moment had been more awkward than either had been willing to admit but by day number ten, Darwin knew he needed to face the problem with Bridget and not without her. Being without her was killing him, twisting his heart into a tight knot.

  His flight had gotten in late and though he probably should have gone to his own home and waited for daylight before heading to Bridget’s, he’d instructed the limousine driver to leave him and his luggage at her front door. He stood anxiously outside waiting for her to answer the doorbell. The elderly woman across the way watched him with a wary eye, never once moving from her stance in an opened window. Darwin’s exuberance greeted Bridget as she pulled the door open.

  Wrapping his thick arms around her waist, Darwin lifted Bridget off the floor as he swung her in a tight circle. He kissed her, hard, his tongue dancing inside the warm cavity of her mouth. Bridget clasped both of her hands around the back of his neck and kissed him back. He tasted sweet, like strawberry-flavored bubble gum, and she was overcome with glee, laughter filling her spirit.

  Carrying her through the entrance, Darwin pushed the door shut with his foot. The knot in his chest began to unwind, the empty, sinking feeling from the days before dissipating into thin air.

  “Boy, did I miss you,” he murmured, his lips still lingering against hers.

  Bridget nodded, wrapping the length of her legs around his waist. Darwin moved to the living room sofa, dropping down against the cushioned seat as he cradled her against his lap. They kissed again.

  From the stereo, Keb’ Mo’ was singing a love song in a brilliant shade of sky-blue. The echo of his voice flooded the room. Keb’ Mo’ was singing about having lost his love but the sheer beauty of its emotion moved Darwin to think about what he shared, right then, in that moment, with Bridget. His thoughts were interrupted by the telephone ringing. Bridget kissed his cheek, then reached for the receiver.

  “Hello?”

  She paused, listening to the party on the other end.

  “Thank you, Mrs. Gibson. Yes, ma’am. I will. You have a good night,” Bridget concluded before hanging up the phone. She giggled, shaking her head in his direction, then lifted her body from his lap. Skipping to the front door, she came back seconds later pulling Darwin’s bags behind her.

  “You forgot your luggage,” she said as he laughed with her.

  “I did forget,” he responded. “I hadn’t given that stuff a single thought since the car service pulled out of the parking lot. All I could think about was holding you.”

  Bridget waved her head from side to side, her smile widening. Heat flushed her face, the hint of a blush caressing her cheeks. She moved to sit back down beside Darwin on the sofa, pulling her legs beneath her buttocks as she leaned her body against his. Darwin wrapped both arms around her torso, pulling her close to him. They sat quietly together, neither saying a word as they reveled in the familiarity they’d been missing.

  The lights in the room were dimmed and Darwin sensed that Bridget had been elsewhere in her home before his unexpected arrival.

  “Did I interrupt something?” he asked.

  Bridget shook her head, cracking a slight smile. “Not really. I was just reading.”

  “Anything good?”

  “Maureen Smith’s last book.”

  “I don’t know her work. If it’s any good maybe you’ll let me borrow it when you’re done.”

  “Maybe,” Bridget said coyly.

  Darwin chuckled and they cuddled against each other, shifting positions against their seats. Darwin let his fingers glide along the length of her bare arms, the warmth of her skin teasing his fingertips. Someone’s reggae was playing in the other room, the beat sultry and heated as it resonated through the house. For a quick minute Darwin imagined himself nuzzled between Bridget’s legs, the two of them making love right there on the carpeted floor. The image was so vivid that he could feel himself break out into a cold sweat.

  Bridget sensed the sudden rise in tension and gently stroked his forearm. “Are you hungry?” she asked, easing her body slightly away from his. “I can make you
a sandwich.”

  Darwin shook his head. “No, I just…” He paused, sitting forward in his seat, his hands cupped together in front of him. He cut his eyes in her direction, meeting her stare, then allowed his gaze to drop to the floor. He cleared his throat before continuing. “Bridget, I know things with us seem to be happening kind of fast and I’m really hoping that I’m not feeling all these emotions by myself.” Darwin took a deep breath. “Because I’m really feeling you.” He looked back up at her.

  Bridget’s smile was intoxicating as she sat staring at him. Darwin was mesmerized and he leaned in to press his lips against hers. Sweet didn’t begin to describe the moment. When he pulled away he was visibly shaking, every nerve ending in his body quivering with nervous energy.

  Bridget reached out to hold his hand, clasping his fingers between hers. Heat flushed her cheeks for a second time and she suddenly felt anxious. She’d wished this moment more times than she cared to count and now that it was actually happening, the words were caught in the dry cavity of her throat. Her eyes misted, saline pressing at her lashes. She stammered, stopped to gather her thoughts before attempting to speak. “I really care about you, Darwin. You know that I’ve had a crush on you since forever, and now…” A tear dripped against her cheek and Darwin pressed his lips to capture the moisture. He gently brushed the back of his hands against her closed eyes.

  He pulled her back against him, cradling her in his arms. “I know it’s scary,” he said, acknowledging the emotions that were consuming him. “But when I was away, all I could think about was getting back to you. Is that crazy?”

  “This is new for both of us but it feels right. I really like how it feels.”

  Darwin grinned, nodding his head. “Me, too.”

  “So, where do we go from here?” Bridget asked, her voice dropping to a low whisper.

  Darwin pondered the question just briefly. “The last time we were together I told you I was glad that you were my girl. I meant that. You should know that I’m very possessive. I don’t want to see anyone but you and I don’t want you seeing anyone else but me. You’re not seeing anyone else, are you?”

  Bridget giggled. “No.”

  He heaved a deep sigh. “Good, ’cause I want you all to myself.”

  They went quiet for just a brief moment, smiles blessing both their faces.

  Darwin took a deep breath. “I may be asking too much, but would you go with me tomorrow to see my doctor?”

  Bridget shifted her body to face his. “It’s nothing serious, is it?”

  He shrugged. “I never picked up that prescription and maybe I’m being presumptuous, but I figured since that problem of mine affects both of us that you might want to hear what the doctor has to say.”

  “Darwin, I hope you don’t think we have to consummate this relationship for us to be together. Please tell me this is about more than our just having sex.”

  “Of course I don’t,” he said, shaking his head vehemently. “And how I feel about you doesn’t have anything to do with our having sex, but I’m not going to lie to you. I used to enjoy sex. A lot. I was very good at it as a matter of fact. And I would like to enjoy it with you. I meant what I said about wanting to make love to you.”

  Bridget could feel the blush resurfacing to her face, the heat rising to tint her cheeks. She nodded. “If you want me to go with you then you know I will. I will support you however you need me to.”

  Darwin reached out to hug her again, his warm breath blowing against the line of her ear as he pressed his cheek to her cheek. He whispered softly, “Thank you. I really didn’t want to do it alone.”

  “You don’t have to, Darwin. I’ll be right there with you.”

  Darwin heaved a sigh of relief. “I should probably call myself a taxi.” He looked down to the watch on his wrist. “I didn’t realize it was so late.”

  “You can stay here, if you want,” Bridget said, her eyes shimmering. “I do have a spare bedroom,” she added, a sly smile pulling at the edges of her mouth.

  “Really? You wouldn’t mind?”

  “Of course not. Unless you just really want to leave?”

  Darwin grinned. “You know I don’t.”

  “Then it’s settled. You’re spending the night.” Bridget rose to her feet. “I’ll go put clean sheets on the bed.”

  Darwin stood up with her. “May I ask you a question?”

  The woman turned about to face him. “Yes?”

  “You do want to make love with me, don’t you? I mean, if you aren’t ready to take this to the next level, I’ll understand. You would tell me if I were rushing this, wouldn’t you?”

  Bridget’s smile widened, her expression radiating warmth and light. There was a gleam in her eyes as she stepped in toward him, pressing her body to his as she reached up to wrap her thin arms around his neck.

  “Yes, I do. I want to make love to you very much, but I won’t stop caring about you if it doesn’t happen. But, don’t you know you’ve already taken me to heaven with just your lips?” she asked, her tone tinged with seduction.

  She reached up to kiss him, her mouth skating easily against his. Darwin parted his lips, searching out her tongue as the embrace deepened. The kiss didn’t last long enough and when Bridget pulled away from him, Darwin found himself hungry for more. His eyes widened with excitement, a full grin painting his expression as Bridget moved out of the room.

  At the bottom of the stairwell, she turned back to face him. “I need to ask you a question,” she said, meeting his gaze. “What’s happening with us?”

  Darwin grinned and shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know if I have a word for it yet. But I hope it lasts always.”

  She eyed him curiously, confusion in her expression. “Always? What does that mean?”

  Moving to her side, Darwin stared deeply into her eyes, falling headfirst into the intoxicating stare. “When it comes to me, you and the subject of love, always means forever,” he whispered and then he kissed her one more time, emotion spinning a tight web around them.

  The digital clock on the nightstand read ten minutes past three o’clock. Bridget was only slightly startled when she awoke to Darwin snoring lightly beside her. His body was spooned around hers, the heat from his flesh washing warmth over her flesh. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d wakened to a man in her bed and a man who wasn’t curled on the other side of the mattress with his back to her.

  Moving to the edge of the bed, she gently lifted Darwin’s arm from around her waist and slid the length of her legs from beneath his. He was naked from the waist up, his bare chest rising and falling easily with each breath. His legs were covered by a pair of well-worn cotton sleeping pants that fit him snugly through the hips and thighs. As she eased herself off the mattress to the floor, rising to her feet to stare down at him, Bridget couldn’t help but grin as if she’d just won the big prize at the state fair.

  He was beautiful, she thought, his mouth opened ever so slightly as he slept soundly, blowing breath past his lips. His dark complexion was a stark contrast against her bright white sheets, his smooth, deep, dark-chocolate tone seeming to her like liquid marble.

  Thoughts of the spare bedroom had been lost the moment they’d made it to the top of the stairs. Darwin had refused to let her go, his mouth dancing from one end of her body to the other. Bridget pulled her fingertips to her lips, then dropped a hand on her thigh, suddenly reminded of Darwin’s touch. Her mind dwelled on the memory of his kisses.

  She’d led the way into the guest bedroom, showing him where he could find fresh towels and anything else he might have needed. She’d been nervous and had chattered nonstop, afraid that he might disappear if she allowed a moment of silence to pass between them. Darwin had changed into his nightclothes and then had stood in the doorway of her bedroom watching her as she’d brushed her hair before tying a silk scarf around her head. He’d stared at her with sad, puppy-dog eyes that didn’t even begin to compare to Biscuit’s and she’d fallen out
laughing at his absurdity.

  Before either of them knew it they were sprawled across her bed watching a late-night episode of In Living Color on BET. The mood shifted when the station aired a series of video classics on the show Midnight Magic. The tones were sultry and sensuous and they both had fallen right into the moment. Darwin had eased his body so close to hers that she couldn’t begin to see where he stopped and she started. Just the nearness of him had caused her chest to tighten, her breath coming in short, harsh gasps. Bridget had felt her composure beginning to slip away from her.

  “Heaven, huh?” Darwin had whispered as he drew his face to hers, inhaling the sweet scent of her skin, his warm breath blowing along her profile. Bridget had only been able to nod her head as his mouth touched hers, his lips brushing her lips, and the breath she’d been holding was drawn out of her as he kissed her harder. A low moan had formed in the back of her throat, moving him to keep kissing her, to not stop teasing her lips with his own.

  His mouth never left hers as his hands had caressed her skin, his fingertips searching out the lines of her hips, tracing an easy path over her abdomen and buttocks. At one point Darwin had cupped his palms around her face, his fingers gliding into her hair as he’d stared deeply into her eyes and she’d known, in that moment, that there was no other place she could imagine being.

  Darwin shifted his body against the bed, mumbling softly in his sleep. The gesture made Bridget smile even more as she continued to watch him. Closing her eyes, she eased back into the memory, remembering the feel of his tongue as it had slid like velvet over her lips and into her mouth. She’d been so mesmerized that she barely realized it when Darwin had slid the straps of her nightgown off her shoulders, gliding the garment off her body. He’d rolled her from one side of the bed to the other and suddenly she’d been completely exposed, bare black skin shimmering beneath the faint lights that flickered from the television set.