A Memory of Love

by Bertrice Small

  The prince and his wife departed the following morning, their business at Haven completed successfully. The two Edwards had discussed when and where they would meet. The lord of Haven had promised to bring with him one hundred soldiers whom he would feed, equip, and house at his own expense. He would also attempt to raise a group of ten mounted knights, but he quite honestly told the prince he could not guarantee it.

  "Do your best," the prince said. "Every man who comes will be guaranteed forgiveness of all his sins by the church when we return to England. I have this on the authority of the archbishop of Canterbury himself, de Beaulieu. Those who die on this crusade will be guaranteed entry directly into heaven and will not have to go to purgatory. The pope has promised it."

  The royal couple then rode from Haven Castle, taking the Shrewsbury Road.

  When they had gone, Rhonwyn said enthusiastically, "I must begin more serious practice with my weapons if I am to be ready when we go on crusade."

  The prince and his wife were scarcely gone when another visitor arrived at Haven. Rafe de Beaulieu had not been happy to learn of his cousin's marriage. Now as he entered the great hall he was greeted by the sight of Edward kissing the hand of a beautiful young girl. Surely this couldn't be the bride.

  "Cousin," he said loudly, grinning as the couple broke apart. "And who is this pretty wench? Are you already bored with your wee Welsh wife, Edward? And where did you find this glorious creature?"

  "Greetings, cousin, and as always you jump to wrong conclusions," Edward said. "This is my wife, Rhonwyn uerch Llywelyn. Sweeting, my nearest kin, Rafe de Beaulieu."

  Rafe was stunned, but quickly recovering, he bowed to Rhonwyn, and taking up her small hand, kissed it. "Lady, my cousin's good fortune overwhelms me. All the Welsh I have ever known are dark." Jesu! She was absolutely magnificent. Poor sweet Kate was but a faint star to this girl's brilliant sun. For a moment he was angry that his sister should have been so cheated, but then the lady Rhonwyn wasn't responsible. She was only a woman and must do the bidding of her menfolk.

  "You are welcome to Haven, my lord Rafe," Rhonwyn told him, thinking that he was arrogant. How dare he enter her home and assume ap Gruffydd's daughter was some tiny dark creature, and she was a woman of loose morals who was Edward's leman?

  He could see the anger in her eyes at his assumptions, and he knew he couldn't blame her if she hated him. " I have come to pay my respects and bring you Katherine's good wishes, cousin," he said.

  "Your sister is well?" Edward asked, and then he suddenly thought that Katherine de Beaulieu must surely be hurt by his apparent rejection of her. Kate had always been such a gentle and soft-spoken girl.

  "She is well. She would have come but it is cider season, and Kate's cider is known throughout the region. She will allow no one else to oversee its making," he chuckled. "She is a good chatelaine. I shall be hard-pressed to find a wife who can oversee Ardley as our Kate does."

  Rafe de Beaulieu was a tall, slender man with Edward's light brown hair and light blue eyes. He and his sister were Edward's only living relations. They were the children of his father's younger brother. They lived on a small manor near the town of Shrewsbury, two days'ride from Haven.

  "You will stay," Edward said, knowing full well the answer.

  "Aye, just for the night. I must leave tomorrow," Rafe answered.

  "Then you came out of curiosity?" Rhonwyn said sharply.

  "Aye, lady, I did," he admitted with a grin, wondering silently how it was his cousin, Edward, was so damned fortunate.

  "I shall see a chamber is prepared for you," Rhonwyn said, and with a smile at her husband and a cursory nod at Rafe, she hurried from the great hall of the castle. Their visitor, she decided, was an irritating fellow, and she was glad he lived two days' ride from Haven. She was not unhappy to see her husband's cousin depart the next morning.

  Edward had said nothing to Rafe about the crusade. While he intended to ask him to steward Haven in his absence, he wasn't certain yet whether they would really go. He doubted King Henry would be happy to have his heir gone so far from England, and it was the king who held the purse strings the prince needed loosened to finance this great adventure. Rhonwyn, however, had no doubts that they were going, and no sooner had Rafe gone his way home she began to worry about her brother. "Oh, Edward! What are we to do with Glynn? ap Gruffydd will never allow us to take him with us, and you cannot leave him alone here at Haven. For some reason that I have never fathomed, Glynn adores the prince of the Welsh. He would not mean to betray us, but he could very well be persuaded by that wily man who sired us both. We cannot send him back to Cythraul. It would be too cruel, although Morgan ap Owen would care for him." Rhonwyn's face was concerned.

  We. Us. His heart soared. She was beginning to think of them as one, even if she still held his passion at bay. "Perhaps we might send Glynn to the abbey school in Shrewsbury," he suggested. "They could teach him far more than Father John can. I will pay his fees myself, and he will be safe there from your father."

  "But what of his identity?" she fretted.

  "Glynn of Thorley," he reminded her. "He will be thought to be my get. I shall tell the father abbott that he is my relative, that his mother is deceased, and that his pater is not to be discussed. That is enough to give truth to the idea that I sired him. But Glynn must remain silent, Rhonwyn, regarding his true parentage. Can he do it?"

  She nodded. "He can. He will be disappointed not to go with us on crusade, but he will be equally excited about going to the abbey school. Now that he has been exposed to learning, it would seem he has a great capacity for it. I think he might be a priest or a scholar."

  That evening she curled herself in his lap again, and he stroked her silken head in a leisurely fashion. This time she had come to him. "We shall have little time once we begin the crusade to cohabit as man and wife," he told her meaningfully.

  "We do not go for many months," she said softly, thinking that she must ask Enit's mother what could be done to prevent conception. If she was to yield herself to her husband's passions once again, she did not intend to conceive a child and thus be prevented from going with him on crusade. "Oh!"

  His hand was gently fondling her breasts. "They are like the perfect round apples in our orchards," he told her.

  Rhonwyn could feel her breath tight in her chest. His hand was very exciting, teasing tenderly at her bosom. She neither forbade him nor stopped him from his love play.

  "I know it is too soon," he said, "but I cannot wait for the night when we lie naked, side by side, and I may cover those precious little orbs with kisses, wife."

  "I am less afraid and repelled than I have been in the past," she admitted shyly.

  "We are getting to know one another," he said. His hand removed itself from her breasts and tilted her face to his. He touched her lips softly at first, and then as her budding passion began to overcome them both, his lips took possession of hers with a deeper fierceness. She didn't resist, indeed her lips moved beneath his with a girlish innocence that enchanted him. Before she might grow fearful, before he might allow his desire for her to gain a mastery over them, he broke off the kiss, and looking down at her, said, "You are so lovely, Rhonwyn. I am in love with you, and I would have you be in love with me, wife."

  "Give me time, Edward," she said to him. "I am only beginning to understand this thing you call passion, and I do thank you for your gentle patience with me."

  "You are a prize very worth having, Rhonwyn uerch Llywelyn. How much sweeter our coming together again will be for the waiting we must endure." His gray eyes smiled down at her.

  Reaching up, she touched his cheek. "I will try very hard not to keep you waiting too much longer," she promised him. Her slender fingers caressed his face.

  Catching her hand in his, he kissed each of those fingers with fervor. "It shall be in your time, my love, for I want more than anything else for you to be happy."

  "I am happy now, safe in your strong arms," she replied. />
  "On the night you tell me our waiting is over, Rhonwyn, I shall make you happier than you have ever known!" he vowed passionately.

  PART II

  RHONWYN 1270-1273

  Chapter 7

  Glynn returned from Shrewsbury eager to recount his travels and small adventures. Rhonwyn had never known her brother to be so very talkative. "I saw ships that came upriver from Cardiff," he said excitedly. "And the abbey and the churches, sister! And the markets with all their goods and the shops! Never have I seen their like. I ate a pomegranate, Rhonwyn! It's a fruit from the south. There is so much more to the world than I could have believed possible. I want to travel some more when I am older. I shall earn my way singing my ballads in inns and festivals and noble courts."

  "First you must finish your education," Rhonwyn told him. "And as much as I dislike mentioning it, our sire may have something to say about what you make of your life, Glynn ap Llywelyn. He may even plan a marriage for you as he did for me."

  "Not until I have traveled the world," Glynn said firmly, and for the first time she saw ap Gruffydd in her brother.

  As they sat at the high board that evening, Edward said to his young brother-in-law, "Would you enjoy going to the abbey school in Shrewsbury, Glynn?"

  "Could I?" the boy asked, his eyes wide with hope.

  "Perhaps next spring it could be arranged. While you were gone Prince Edward and his wife came unexpectedly to Haven. King Louis of France is planning another crusade to the Holy Land next year. Your sister and I are to accompany the prince. While we are gone you must continue your education. What better place than in Shrewsbury?"

  "My lord," Father John spoke up, "why would the prince come here? We are but a small Marcher holding and not important to him."

  "Edward Plantagenet will sooner than later be England's king, good father. It is for the very reason I am a Marcher lord that he came to Haven-at-Thorley. And the fact that 1 am wed to ap Gruffydd's daughter. He seeks to divine my loyalties without asking. There was no way I could refuse him without arousing his suspicions. That my lady wife enthusiastically volunteered to go along has quite raised Prince Edward's esteem of me," Edward de Beaulieu finished with a chuckle.

  "Why can I not go, too?" Glynn asked.

  "Because, brother-in-law, I am certain your father would not allow it. There will be time for you to go on crusade when you are older. For now I think it best, and I believe your father will agree, that you continue your education in Shrewsbury," Edward replied.

  "If you retake the Holy Land, there will be no more crusades," Glynn said gloomily.

  "The Saracens and the Christians have battled back and forth over the holy ground for centuries now, Glynn. There will always be crusades, I fear. Do not despair. You will have your chance one day."

  Martinmas, the feast of St. Martin, was celebrated on November eleventh. A fat goose was slaughtered and roasted to be served in the hall. On November twenty-fifth St. Catherine's day was celebrated with Cathern cakes and a beverage called Lambs' Wool, named for the roasted apple that floated in it, which was served in a special Cathern bowl. Edward presented his wife with a special brooch in the shape of a wheel made from silver and onyx. The twelve days of Christmas came and went, and it was January.

  Edward de Beaulieu was already recruiting men to accompany them on crusade. He had been informed by royal messenger that while he was away, his taxes would be forgiven. He so informed his tenants and serfs that whoever accompanied him would also be excused from their taxes and rents. There was no shortage of volunteers under those conditions. The lord of the castle was able to pick and choose whom he would take with him. By mid-January the one hundred chosen men were hard at work training with bow and pike and stave. They learned how to use a battering ram and a siege weapon called a tarques. They learned how to dig beneath a wall so as to collapse it.

  Three young men, from less important families than Edward de Beaulieu's and who had already been knighted but sought adventure, came to Haven-at-Thorley to join the lord's party. Such an opportunity was not to be missed, for if they performed well on the field of battle and drew favorable attention to themselves, their fortunes could be made. Sir Fulk, Sir Robert, and Sir Hugo all came with squire, horses, and weapons. They were welcomed and given places in the hall and at the lord's board. They were at first amused by the lady's desire to fight alongside them, but when they learned firsthand of Rhonwyn's skill with weapons, their laughter turned to respect.

  Edward bristled silently at his wife's unorthodox behavior. As her passion for the crusade deepened, it seemed she became less interested in a shared passion between them. Yet his desire for her was growing daily, and he was forced on several occasions to restrain his jealousy at the open admiration for Rhonwyn of the three young knights. It was, he well knew, nothing more than esteem on the part of Sir Fulk, Sir Robert, and Sir Hugo. As for Rhonwyn, the company of the knights meant nothing more to her than that of Oth and Dewi. With warriors about her, she simply seemed back in her element once again. Edward de Beaulieu was beginning to wish that Edward Plantagenet had never come to Haven with his talk of crusades and with a wife who was both willing and able to follow him. At least the prince had legitimate heirs.

  Rhonwyn had never been counted a fool. She sensed her husband's unhappiness and knew there was but one way to placate him. She must allow him possession of her body once more. She wondered if she could do it without showing distaste. She no longer worried about becoming enceinte, for Enit's mother had indeed known just what to use to prevent such an event. Each morning her maidservant brought her a draught to drink, but of course Rhonwyn knew she could never be certain of its effects unless there was the chance of her having a child.

  She had to admit she found kissing and caressing less unpleasant than at first. Edward might become passionate with her, but he had never been cruel or rough but for that first night. Rhonwyn counted herself a brave woman. She did not fear battle or even death, but she did fear the marital act. It was simply too all-possessing, but she would have to learn to endure it as she endured the pain of a wound. Edward was a good man, and she owed him not just her loyalty but his rights as a husband. If he repudiated her, her father would be shamed, and she could not allow that to happen.

  She gathered all her courage, and that evening before she departed the hall she whispered to him, "Perhaps tonight I am brave enough, my lord, to share my bed with you." Then she hurried to her chamber in the south tower. As was her custom since being civilized, she bathed and put on a clean chemise. Then she dismissed Enit. She waited, sitting on the edge of her bed as she brushed her long hair.

  Coming through the door connecting their bedchambers, he silently took the pearwood brush and skimmed it down the silken length. He did not understand this change of heart that had suddenly affected her, but he sensed he must be tender with her. His arm slipped about her narrow waist to draw her back against him. He nuzzled at her ear, and all the while he brushed and brushed and brushed the swath of hair. Then to her surprise he ceased and efficiently plaited her tresses into a single thick braid, fastening it with the ribbon he pulled from her chemise.

  He drew the garment off her shoulders, and it slid to her waist. Kneeling before her, Edward reached up and began to caress her small breasts. She shivered, but did not stop him. His fingers teased playfully at her nipples, arousing her slowly and carefully. Standing now, he drew her up with him and kissed her, his mouth working tenderly over hers. Here, at least, he knew she was not afraid, for his wife enjoyed kissing, it seemed.

  Rhonwyn slipped her arms about his neck, and as her bare flesh pressed against his chest, she realized that he wore no clothes. She had been so intensely focused on her own situation that she hadn't even looked at him. Now she felt him against her. His thighs were hairy as was his chest, its fur tickling her. His lips were intoxicating, and for the briefest moment she allowed herself to become lost in his kisses. Then she felt it. His manhood burgeoning against her thigh, and she
tensed once more. She knew what was to come next. He would cover her body with his big frame and possess her in a way that terrified her. And this time she could not cry out or struggle against him.

  "Trust me," he begged her, feeling her slender body becoming tight once more. He kissed her closed eyelids, the tip of her nose, the corners of her mouth. Pressing her back onto their bed, he murmured into her ear, "There is pleasure in a man and woman's coming together, my lambkin. Let me share that pleasure with you, Rhonwyn. Please!"

  "I cannot help how I feel," she half sobbed. "Please, Edward, my lord, just do what you will with me."

  He rolled away from her, and then propping himself upon his elbow, said angrily, "You are behaving like a whore, damnit! You spread yourself for me, and yet you feel nothing at all. Why?"

  She was weeping now. "I do not know!" she said.

  "Surely ap Gruffydd loved your mam and treated her well," Edward said, struggling to keep his lust under control.

  "He did!" Rhonwyn cried. "Their passion for one another is the stuff legends are made of, I know now. They shut everyone and everything out of their lives, even Glynn and me. Their thoughts were only for each other."

  "Do you fear to love me, Rhonwyn?" he asked her.

  "Aye, I do!" she admitted fiercely. "I don't want to lose myself, Edward. Can you understand that?"