by Hicks, I. M.
I looked at Marc and given the expression on his face, I knew this was the extent of my visit. He was as shocked as I was by her reaction. Pam was not someone that would swear, she was raised in the same crappy neighborhood I was but she was prim and proper, swearing was out of character for her.
“Alright, I guess I’ll go then” I spoke softly and walked myself out, put my sunglasses back on hiding the tears creeping out of my eyes and Philip opened my door.
As we drove away, my heart broke into a million pieces and I began to cry. Pam and I had been friends since the third grade, both of us raised by single mothers. She had three other siblings, and her father would come and go as he pleased, until one day he stopped coming around. We had a tough youth, we were both poor and bullied by the rich girls in our school and we cried together when things got bad.
When we turned 12 we made a pact that we would be sisters for life and no matter what life threw at us we would always be there for each other. I couldn’t help feeling guilty of breaking that promise and I wasn’t sure she would ever forgive me.
When I finally got home, I checked my voicemails, there were only two messages, one from Toronto Life magazine wanting to do a piece on me, and the other was from Robert, saying good bye from the airport. This brought a smile to my face.
I was exhausted so I laid down and fell asleep.
CHAPTER TWO
I woke up a few hours later to my cell phone buzzing and I realized I was still wearing my suit and shoes.
I kicked them off and checked my text messages, and found five messages from Marc.
Marc: “We need to talk”
Marc: “I’m coming to your place”
Marc: “I’m on my way”
Marc: “Have you had dinner?”
Marc: “u there?”
Me: “Are you almost here?”
Marc: “1 minute”
Me “I was asleep. Sorry” I replied as I made my way downstairs to open the door as his car was just pulling in. He drove an old red Mazda which next to my black Audi SUV, looked decrepit and sad like it did not belong here. Marc turned the engine off and came out of his car wearing a pair of dark blue jeans and white t-shirt looking impossibly sexy, it was already night time, I checked my watch and sure enough it was 10pm.
“How are you doing Alex?” he said and gave me a tight hug. He smelled so good, his cologne was subtle but it suited him and it was almost intoxicating.
“I’m ok, sorry I look like shit. I feel asleep as soon as I got home” I said offering for him to come in.
“Oh whatever Alex you always look stunning” he said and I think I blushed.
He came in the house and looked around awestruck. “Haven’t been here for a while, I like what you’ve done” he remarked.
“Thanks but you know this is all Robert” I replied. And it was true. Robert loved to spend money on the house and appreciated art. Large, expensive pieces of art. I had no time to deal with matters of the house so I let him take over the interior decorating.
“Alex, I’m sorry about what happened back there, she’s changed so much since the baby, I honestly don’t know what to do, all I do is wrong, she won’t talk to me, other than to yell at me, she won’t talk to her other friends, it’s exhausting” he said suddenly.
I closed my eyes tightly and began to cry. He hugged me tightly again. “I know” he whispered.
I let go of his arms and composed myself. “I need to change, will you excuse me for a few minutes, and please help yourself to a drink from the bar” I said and made my way upstairs.
I changed to some jeans and my favorite Black Sabbath t-shirt which I’ve had since high school.
I went downstairs to meet him in the living room. He made himself comfortable and was drinking whiskey. I sat across from him and saw the dry martini he made me on the coffee table, I smiled “You remembered” I said.
“Yup and I can’t believe you still have that t-shirt” he remarked smiling.
“What can I say, it’s my favorite” I said as I took a sip of my drink.
We stared at each other in silence for a while.
“What are you doing here Marc?” I asked breaking the silence.
“I don’t know, she went ballistic on me after you left, I tried to calm her down, then after we had dinner, she fell asleep and I had to get out of the house, so I drove around for a bit and then decided to come here, maybe hoping you could shed some light as to what I should do” he said looking at his tumbler.
“Well besides the baby, what’s truly bothering her?”
“Her weight, money is the biggest issue right now” he replied, and I could tell he was embarrassed.
I got up “C’mon with me” I said and he followed.
I took him to our home office and grabbed the checkbook.
“No way Alex, c’mon!” he said leaving the office.
“Get your ass back in here Marc, tell me exactly how bad it is” I demanded.
He sighed “We’re late one month with mortgage, because of some dental work we had to do with Sam, she can’t drive the minivan because she needs new brakes, so she’s been staying home for the past month and half”
“Ok, this should do it, and I don’t want to hear it, it’s not free money and you can pay us back when you can, there’s no rush” I said handing him a check.
“You don’t have to tell her either, take it, deposit and pay your bills and take her out for dinner” I continued.
“I don’t know what to say Alex”
“Save it, and next time do not wait, you hear me?”
He walked around my desk and hugged me tightly again, let go slightly and looked into my eyes, I could feel his breath on me, I smiled and he let go of me. “Thank you” he said.
“Ok let’s go discuss this issue with my bestie” I said ushering him back to the living room.
“So what did she say about me?” I asked.
“You don’t want to know, she’s just pissed because you don’t come around to see her”
“I was working on the spring collection damn it” I said.
“She knows that, but she’s feeling like crap right now, she doesn’t sleep, She can’t get the weight off, she sees your name in every magazine she buys, you have no kids, she thinks you can’t possibly understand what she’s going through, she’s upset”
“Well that’s true, I have no kids” I said putting my drink down hard on the table.
“Oh c’mon, we know the situation with that, she’s just feeling sorry for herself” he said apologetically.
“She won’t even sleep with me” he added. I’m not sure why but something about the way he said that sent a slight jolt through my body.
“Jesus, have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately Marc? Any woman would feel intimidated” I retorted.
He smiled at me wickedly.
“I’m just being honest, I was shocked when I saw you this afternoon”
“I’m flattered, especially coming from you” he said looking at me. What the hell is going on here? Are we flirting? He always flirted with me but it was always playful and always in front of Pam.
“I need to eat something” I said getting up “Can we take this conversation to the kitchen?”
“I should go” he said “She’s going to be wondering where I am, maybe” he added.
“Oh just stay for a few minutes and let me makes us some sandwiches, you can take it in the car with you, I won’t hold you hostage” I teased.
“Alright” “Hey do you remember that night, we were in grade 12 I think, and we went to that party at Carson’s house, the cops came and we locked ourselves up in the closet and waited until everyone went home?” he asked leaning over the granite counter.
How could I forget, that was before I introduced him to Pam. Marc and I met first, we were just friends at the time, classmates. We crashed the party and ended up in that closet, but that was before the cops showed up, we had been drinking and one thing lead to anoth
er, we ended up in the closet making out letting things get far until we were interrupted by the police knocking on the closet door. I didn’t hear from him after that for about a week. Then I called and told him he was an asshole and that I would remain friends with him and eventually he hooked up with Pam.
“Yup, but you have selective memory” I retorted.
“No, I remember how it went down, I was an asshole, I wanted you so badly but I thought you were way out of my league” he said, I swallowed.
“Well I wasn’t the one for you, Pam was”
“I often imagine what the outcome would have been if we had hooked up.” he said. Often?
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I asked, I was livid. “Would have been exactly the same as now, and why the fuck are you wallowing in the past?”
“Fucked if I know, I saw you today, looking beautiful and so together as always and I just wondered” he sighed.
I finished making the sandwiches and grabbed the saran wrap to pack his.
“Ok well I guess I should go” he said taking the sandwich from me.
“You need to help me with her Marc” I ordered.
“Come over tomorrow, I’ll take the kids away for a while, you two can have the place to yourselves”
“Thank you, that’s all I ask”
“Robert is a lucky man, I wish I had what he had” he said looking into my eyes.
“Be careful what you wish for” I replied.
Just then, the phone rings. It was Robert.
“Hey baby, how’s London?” I asked turning my back to Marc.
“It’s good, but I miss you, but I am coming back early, I’ll be home Tuesday”
“Oh that’s fantastic. I went to see Pam today and she’s furious with me Rob, she wanted nothing to do with me, I’m heartbroken”
“Well why don’t we throw a party next weekend and invite them over, invite all your friends and some of mine, and we’ll have a good time.” Robert suggested.
“Ok, sounds great, well it must be late for you, go to sleep and we’ll speak tomorrow.”
“I love you Alexandra” his voice deep and sexy “I love you too”
When I turned around Marc was right behind me, putting us in an awkward position again.
“Wanna come to a party next weekend?” I asked.
“Give Pam a chance to dress up for once” I suggested.
“Yeah sounds good” he said taking a step back.
“Ok I gotta go, thank you for the sandwich” he said and put his hand on my waist and leaned in to kiss me on the cheek “and thank you for the other” he whispered, he let go and walked toward the door.
“I’ll be there around 10 am tomorrow” I said holding the door.
He stepped out the door and turned around again “How come you didn’t tell Rob I was here?”
“Marc you know Rob, he’s wonderful but he’s protective, possessive and extremely jealous. I’m sure you’d be wondering what your wife was doing with another man in your house while you’re not there. Given the fact that he’s in another continent trying to close the biggest deal of his life, this is not something he needs to know”
“Why? What would he do?” he asked getting too close to me again.
“I’m not sure, I’ve never given him reason to suspect otherwise and I’m not about to start now”
“Go home to your wife Marc” I concluded, and closed the door.
After he left I ate my sandwich and went upstairs back to bed, I was exhausted and I needed to clear my head for what could be a very emotional day tomorrow. Just as I began to get undressed I got another text message from Marc.
“I had fun tonight, I can’t recall the last time I had a meaningful conversation with a woman.”
I didn’t respond. I’m not going there. I understood his predicament, but whatever he was looking for he was not going to get it from me.
CHAPTER THREE
I woke up early the following morning. Going through my closet I realized I was in dire need of getting some everyday clothes, I had nothing but office wear, evening gowns and cocktail dresses. So I grabbed a pair of jeans and a black fitted tee, low cut in the front with pretty satin ribbons on the sleeves and on the hem. Grabbed my Michael Kors tote and a pair of black strappy sandals with a 3” heel. Put my hair up in a messy bun and put on a little make up.
As soon as I drove into Pam and Marc’s driveway. Marc comes out the door yelling something, both my windows were closed and my car is pretty sound proof so I couldn’t hear anything other than seeing the angry look on his face and his mouth moving. I got out of my car, grabbed my purse and made my way to the door, Marc was picking toys off the ground in the front yard. He saw me and had a volatile look on his face and I knew something was terribly wrong. I softly knocked on the already ajar door “Pam?” I said softly.
“Come in” she called out. I walked in the front door and there she was by the kitchen sink washing dishes while the two older kids were sitting down on the table having breakfast. I quickly put my tote down and took off my shoes and went to help Lucy who was struggling with her cheerios “Hey sweetheart, let me help you” I said and sat down next to her. Suddenly Marc barged in the door and slammed it shut, violently throwing the toys in a toy box just inside the kitchen. “Pam you’re here all fucking day, I just don’t think it’s fair that I have to clean up the mess the kids make while I’m out at work” he shouted.
“You have no idea what is like Marc, you don’t have to change dirty diapers all day long and do the laundry on a daily basis, all I’m asking is for little help from you” Pam retorted. “I come home and I take care of the kids, I feed them, I change diapers and on the weekends I spend time with them while you go on your daily coma” replied Marc. “You are as such a fucking asshole!” she began and then they both started yelling. I grabbed the kids, took their cereal bowls, drinks and took them to the backyard, closing the yard door behind me to muffle the screams.
About a ½ hour later, Marc comes out, walks past me and lights up a cigarette. I continued talking to the kids and pretended he wasn’t there. A few minutes later he put it out and sat at the table with us, his eyes intently on Lucy, his only daughter. “Thanks for looking after them” he whispered “Not a problem” I spoke softly “Is everything ok now?” I asked. He smiled “No, we’re not ok Alex” “I’m taking the kids to my mother’s today and perhaps meet up with my dad at some point” he replied. Marc also comes from a broken family, but his father always stayed close, close enough to watch Marc and his brothers grow up and be there for them, he was one of the lucky ones.
“Ready to go guys?” he said suddenly raising his voice “Yeahhhh” the kids replied happily.
Shortly after he left, I sat at the kitchen table as Pam went upstairs to take a shower. I took the liberty of checking my phone for messages, and sure enough there was a message from Marc.
“Thank you for this”
I cleared all messages coming from him and put my phone away.
When Pam came downstairs, her hair was still wet and she was wearing jogging pants with an oversize t-shirt. “Want some coffee?’ she asked not looking at me.
“Not really, I was thinking we could go get a mani and a Pedi, perhaps do a little shopping at the Eaton Centre” I suggested.
“Alex I can’t afford any of that and compared to you I look like shit” she replied looking into my eyes.
“My treat darling, let me make it up to you, if you won’t take my apologies, at least let me spend some money on my favorite person” I said innocently.
“You’re such a bitch Alex” she retorted.
“Do I need to wash your mouth out with soap?”
She laughed “Ok let’s go” she said grabbing her purse. “But you need to drive, my van’s brakes are fucked”
“Christ Pam, what’s with the potty mouth?”
“Three kids and a useless husband seems to do that to you” she retorted and smiled wryly.
“What the h
ell is going on between the two of you, you seemed to be fine last time I saw you”
I said opening the doors to the Audi.
“Ugh, life Alex, three kids, no sleep, I got fat, no money, but of course you know nothing of what that’s like”
“Pam, I have stress in my life as well, you read the magazines, you see the comments those fashion critics make, especially with my last collection, I was lynched and publically I might add”
“Oh please, you’re still making millions aren’t you, I’m sure the Neiman Marcus partnership was worth a few” she replied spitefully. But she was right, the contract was worth 30 million but I wasn’t going to tell her that.
“Whatever, but I wouldn’t go as far as calling Marc useless Pam, what’s up with that? He has a job, he’s good at what he does and if it wasn’t for his brother he’d be making some real money”
“Yeah he works, but he spends a lot of time at the gym as you clearly saw yesterday and for what I ask you? What’s he trying to prove, that he can get fit and I can’t?”
“Would you listen to yourself Pam, you’re mad at him because he looks good?”
“Well if he touched me once in a while maybe I wouldn’t feel this way”
“Maybe it’s your attitude, no man wants to sleep with a woman that’s volatile and treats them like shit, they too want love and respect, he loves you no matter what Pam, you know that don’t you?”
She started to cry “C’mon Pam don’t cry, we’re spending a day together getting pretty”