Peaches with Bonus Material
Page 20
“Lee, I am your friend. Rex…” She wanted to tell Leeda that her loyalty had been tested, and passed, and how much that meant. But the words got stuck in her throat. She didn’t know how to say it. She had done the right thing! She, Murphy McGowen, had done the right thing!
She almost smiled.
“You’re gonna end up just like her, you know, begging guys to love you, sleeping with other people’s husbands….”
Murphy swayed on her feet. The almost-smile felt slapped away.
She held up her hands as if to shield her face, feeling her blood come to a simmer. “Leeda, you should stop talking now. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, I do, believe me.” Leeda seemed on the verge of leaving the room, but she stopped and looked at Birdie. “Birdie and I want you to leave.”
Now in anger, Murphy couldn’t keep her tears back. They popped out on her eyeballs and hung there, but she wouldn’t let them drop. She looked at Birdie, who had pulled her covers over her head and curled herself in a fetal position facing the other way.
Then she looked at Leeda.
“If I leave, you won’t get the secret.” Murphy smiled, reeling Leeda in, slippery as an eel.
Leeda looked flustered. Her gray eyes fluttered. “What secret?”
“The secret of what I have that you don’t.”
Murphy pursed her full lips, put her hands on her hips.
“I’m dying to know,” Leeda said sardonically, but Murphy could tell by the way her eyes grew big and a little soft, she really wanted to know.
Murphy shrugged, as if the answer was obvious. “I’m just more than you. More person. More life. You’re boring and uptight. Anybody who really gets to know you…Anybody who is around long enough will find out you’re just…bleh.”
Leeda took off down the stairs two at a time and slammed out onto the porch. Murphy stood in the doorway, dazed, hurt more by the things she’d said to Leeda than the things Leeda had said to her. Birdie sat up on the bed, watching her, in shock.
Murphy looked at her and felt the sting of her betrayal, of them ganging up on her, and glared at her. “Thanks, Birdie. Thanks a lot. Have a nice life, wherever you end up.” Murphy knew how to twist the knife, dragging herself to the ugliest level possible.
A few minutes later, her stuff packed into the trunk, Murphy peeled down the gravel drive, her car clunking along, the orchard passing by on either side. She didn’t look in the rearview mirror to see it fall away.
Chapter Twenty
Birdie was lying flat on the kitchen floor. She’d never done it before, and it seemed like a good diversion. Her dad had gone out, and she couldn’t take the quiet. No workers outside, no work to do. After all the stress of rushing around trying to keep everything running, the downtime felt empty and useless. And there was no hope of Murphy or Leeda or Enrico showing up on the porch.
The only sound was the phone ringing. It had rung like this once every ten minutes for the last hour. Caller ID announced it was her mom. Birdie was studiously trying to ignore her. She didn’t have the energy today to navigate her mom’s feelings while simultaneously protecting her dad. Or deal with the idea of moving in with her.
The phone went silent, then rang again, and Birdie’s guilt finally got the best of her. She watched her feet as she walked and lifted the receiver blindly.
“Hey,” she breathed.
“Hey, Birdie, it’s Leeda.” Leeda’s voice was high and lilty, like someone trying hard to sound great. Birdie breathed a sigh of relief. She wanted to reach through the phone and hug Leeda.
“I’m sorry I haven’t returned your calls. I’ve been so busy. Getting ready for the wedding is hell. And we had the bachelorette party last night.”
“Oh? How was it?”
“Danay loved it.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. She was completely happy. Stupid happy. She got so wasted. She puked on the marquis at the Fox Theater.”
“What were you doing at the Fox?”
“It’s her favorite bathroom. She wanted to puke in there.”
Birdie laughed. “Didn’t make it, huh?”
Leeda laughed back, but her laugh sounded forced.
“So I guess you knew better after all,” Birdie offered.
“No, I didn’t.” Leeda paused. “I used your ideas. I mean, I used your idea to use Danay’s ideas.”
“Oh. That’s good.”
“Yeah.”
They both let the awkward silence stretch out.
“Birdie?”
“Yeah.” Birdie swallowed the lump in her throat.
“I miss you. I miss the orchard.”
It was such a relief to hear Leeda say it. Birdie smiled into the phone. “I miss you too. Life is so boring here right now.”
“Yeah. I wish you were coming to the wedding. It would be a lifesaver.”
Birdie’s mom had gone through with plans to move into her condo on the same day as Danay’s wedding, and Birdie hadn’t been able to wiggle out of it. She hadn’t even had the heart to try. Birdie swallowed. “I wish that too.”
Another long silence.
“Have, um, have you talked to Murphy?” Birdie asked.
“I don’t want to talk about her.”
“Okay.” Birdie’s voice came out guilty. She still felt somehow responsible. Like if she hadn’t looked out her window, Murphy and Rex wouldn’t have kissed. She had read somewhere, in one of the books her aunt was always giving her, that cells behaved a certain way when they were being observed, a way that was different than they would behave normally. Maybe Birdie was responsible for all the ills of the world just by somehow being around to hear about them and watch them on TV.
“Anyway, Danay was so damn grateful she invited Rex to the wedding. Last minute.”
Birdie figured she wasn’t supposed to ask about that either.
“That’s great, Leeda.”
“Well, listen, I’ll call you after.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
The receiver went dead. And Birdie lay back down on the kitchen floor.
In the family’s penthouse suite at the hotel, Leeda tugged at the straps of her dress and stepped out onto the balcony. The temperature had reached ninety-nine degrees in the limo on the way from the church and Leeda felt every degree of it making her bridesmaid dress, which was strapless, salmon, and not half bad, stick to every centimeter of her.
“Hey, Lee. They want you downstairs.”
Leeda turned to see Rex standing in the wide living room with his hands in his pockets, looking at her seriously under his dark eyebrows. Rex had given her this look many times since the last day in the orchard. Every time he saw her, he acted like a lead weight. And Leeda always reacted in the same way.
“Okay, sweetie.” Leeda swiped at the sweat under her armpits and turned a full-watt smile on him, linking her fingers through his.
In the elevator they fell silent. Leeda played with her fingernails so the silence wouldn’t feel like the kind that was asking to be interrupted. But Rex interrupted anyway.
“Lee…”
Leeda looked up at him. “Please, Rex. Not today.”
Rex’s shoulders fell, but he obliged her. When the elevator doors opened, Leeda felt like she’d made a narrow escape.
The room was packed with over five hundred guests. Leeda grinned and touched a few on the elbows or shoulders and smiled at them as she made her way through. In the center of the dance floor Danay and Brighton and the wedding party were dancing to the wedding song. Oh crap. Leeda was supposed to be dancing with her in-law Glen. She scoped around the room for him, but he was hitting on one of the waiters. Thank God.
Unfortunately, her eyes then immediately found her mom, who made a beeline for her.
“Leeda, we were looking all over for you.”
“Yeah, I couldn’t find Glen, though,” Leeda fibbed, scanning the opposite side of the room as if she were looking for him.
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br /> “Honey, this is your sister’s day. Remember that.”
“How could I forget?”
Leeda watched her mom walk to join her dad, king and queen of the party. Leeda wasn’t interested in taking anything away from Danay at the moment. She just wanted to make it through the day in one piece and do what she needed to do. And that was going to take some effort. She felt like her whole being was being held together by Jell-O.
Through a loose gaggle of people Leeda made out a familiar face. Horatio Balmeade was staring at the breasts of her cousin Margarita. Rex had drifted away to the side of the dance floor, where he stood darkly, nursing a glass of champagne, which she knew he hated.
Leeda wanted to go stand beside him. It would make her feel safer, like it always did. But she held herself back, because in a way it was less safe too, now. There was too much danger in talking with Rex—they hadn’t talked about Murphy and she didn’t want to. She circulated among the guests instead, smiling at everyone the way she was supposed to, making small talk, being the perfect daughter, and giving off the impression that nobody’s life was as seamless or as sweet as hers.
Ding ding ding. Leeda turned to see Glen standing at the front of the room. “Now we’ll hear from the maid of honor.”
Leeda’s pulse spiked instantly. Oh God. She had totally forgotten she was supposed to write a speech. How could she forget something like that? As everyone looked at her, she pasted a smile on her face, but her stomach throbbed. She was so unprepared. She walked up to the bridal table and took the mike from Glen.
“Um…” The room of five hundred people stared back at her. “Uh, my sister, Danay…is…my sister….”
Oh God. The whole feeling of the room seemed to be urging her to pull it together. She said the first thing that came into her head. “She’s, um, pretty perfect.”
There were a few chuckles. “It’s easy to be jealous of a sister like that,” Leeda added, and then regretted it. She spotted Rex across the room. And instead of making her feel safe, it reminded her of Murphy. “But the thing is, I’m stuck with her.” A murmur from the audience. “Oh, c’mon, that’s not such a bad thing.” Leeda started this sentence irritably, but as she finished it, she felt her body relax. There was a long pause, and then what she wanted to say came to her, like she was riding a wave. “Maybe it’s lucky when we’re stuck with someone we love. Because it gets hard, and then it gets easy to give up on someone. And I guess that’s what makes a marriage…” Leeda searched for the words “…so special. Is that you choose to be stuck with somebody, even through the hard times. It’s like a pact. It means the good times are just so good, and it means you love that person so much that you’re willing to stay through all the bad.” Leeda scanned the faces for Danay. Tears were glistening in her eyes. Leeda cleared her throat. “I guess what I’m saying is we’re lucky to be stuck. I’m glad I’m stuck with Danay, and Brighton—” All eyes in the room looked at Brighton. “I’m glad you’re stuck with her too. I hope you don’t forget how lucky that makes you. She’s perfect.” Leeda stopped herself abruptly, embarrassed.
Brighton shook his head. “I won’t let him,” Danay said loudly, grinning through her tears.
Everyone looked at Leeda expectantly. “That’s it.” She smiled.
Amid the applause she felt a hand on her back. She turned to look—Rex.
He hugged her, tight. She sank into him and let go.
Murphy and Gavin lay crashed out on the couch, Gavin’s head against Murphy’s chest. A few minutes ago he’d tried to unzip her shorts, but Murphy had shut him down, and now she could tell he was wondering why he was here at all. Murphy thought it was nice to have a warm body just sitting next to her. It didn’t really matter who it belonged to.
“You got anything to eat?”
“You can check in the kitchen,” Murphy said, keeping her eye on the TV. A Hard Day’s Night was playing on VH1. This was the twenty-sixth time she’d watched it. Same as the number of letters in the alphabet. That was worth celebrating. Murphy cheers’ed herself with her can of Dr. Thunder and took a sip.
Outside, a car pulled into the driveway.
“All right, Gavin, you gotta go. My mom’s home.”
“Really?” Gavin looked shocked and disappointed. He had just found a bag of Combos and was holding it to his chest proprietarily.
“Door’s that way.” Murphy pointed with a limp wrist.
“Okay. See ya, Murph.”
“Murph-y,” she shouted at the screen door as it hissed closed.
A moment later it hissed again, admitting Jodee and Richard.
“I never knew I was your meal ticket,” Richard was saying.
Jodee turned to Richard and touched his shoulder gently. “You know I don’t see you that way. I don’t think it’s too much to ask for you to pitch in for groceries.”
Murphy pulled her arms over her stomach protectively. She decided to count the number of seconds it would take Richard to plunk down beside her on the couch and change the channel. It took seven.
Jodee disappeared in the bedroom for a moment, then started puttering around, tidying up the mess that Murphy and Richard had left behind.
Murphy sat up stiffly so that no part of her body would be touching Richard’s. She watched her mom cleaning up with a pinchy feeling of guilt.
“Well, what’re you gonna do with yourself?” Richard asked. “Two whole weeks off?”
Murphy shook her head. She didn’t know. Go back to the usual. That was what you did, right? You stretched out your life, then realized life wasn’t stretchable, and so you went back to the way things were before.
“Are you gonna keep in touch with the girls from the orchard?” Jodee asked.
“They hate me.” This was a rare intimacy for Murphy. She waited for her mom to ask questions. She wanted for the two of them to go into her mom’s room alone so she could pour the whole thing out and hug her mom and cry and have her get her a tissue and some hot tea. But her mom waved a hand at her lightly.
“Oh, honey, they don’t hate you. Girls are just hard to be friends with in high school. It gets easier when you’re older.”
Murphy wondered what women friends her mom actually thought she had. Women all over Bridgewater were probably breathing a sigh of relief Jodee wasn’t single anymore so that they wouldn’t have to lock up their husbands and boyfriends.
“Right.”
Murphy watched Richard’s stupid football game until the light outside started to fade. Then she just couldn’t stand being indoors anymore.
She got in her car and turned the engine. Ever since Rex had fixed it, it had been starting fine. She stepped on the gas and turned left out of the development, not sure where she’d go. She knew she should call somebody, there were tons of people who would be around to hang out with, but she just couldn’t think of anybody she wanted to see.
Finally she turned toward the orchard.
She parked the car near the railroad tracks and walked along the perimeter of the property so that nobody would see her, sneaking into the garden from behind it, approaching it from the side coming toward the house. She looked up at Birdie’s window, but the lights were out. For all she knew, Birdie had gone to live with her mother. It didn’t matter.
At the garden a few weeds had crept toward the roses, and Murphy yanked them out, surveying the area for more weeds, more threats to her precious flowers. It would all be bulldozed eventually anyway. Finally she gave up.
She sank onto the bench and ran her fingers along the wood, tracing the little patterns that Rex had carved into the armrests. He hadn’t had to do these little delicate patterns. He could have made her a normal bench, and it would have been more than enough.
Murphy knew she was feeling sorry for herself, and she also knew that she wasn’t going to cry. She refused to be a victim. Murphy, the martyr. Murphy, the wronged. Murphy, who’d thought she had friends.
A figure appeared beside her on the bench and sat down.
&n
bsp; “Hey, Birdie.”
Birdie looked around, plucked one of the dead flowers off a branch, and started picking it apart, all the while staring at Murphy with her doe eyes.
“I was just checking on stuff,” Murphy said, nodding toward the garden.
“I know. I figured.”
“I hope you won’t report me for trespassing.” She couldn’t help throwing it in.
Birdie sucked in her breath. “You know, they’re calling for a tropical storm?” she said quietly. “So much of this summer without any rain. But peaches taste sweeter when there’s less rain. Rain dilutes the sugar.”
“Huh.”
Birdie folded her hands on her lap.
“I thought you were going to live with your mom.”
Birdie sighed. “I’m kind of straddling houses at the moment.”
Murphy didn’t reply. She knew how hard that had to be for Birdie, but she was too angry to offer any kind of sympathy.
“Murphy, I shouldn’t have gotten involved with you and Leeda. I didn’t mean to.”
Murphy nodded and pressed her lips together, staring up at the sky. “No big deal.”
Birdie seemed on the verge of tears. “I’m such a bad liar, and she asked me what was wrong. And she guessed, you know. She guessed it was something about you, then she guessed it was something about you and Rex. It was like this psychic premonition she had. If you knew how sorry I was…”
“I said it was no big deal. I gotta, um—” Murphy hooked a thumb over her shoulder.
“Murphy!” Birdie leaned forward and threw her arms around Murphy’s neck. “Please please please forgive me. Please. It was none of my business, what happened with you and Rex. Well, I should have talked to you, but then Leeda came in….” Birdie pulled back and blinked her brown eyes. “I don’t care what you did as long as we’re friends.”
Murphy shook her off, frowning. “I didn’t even do anything.”
Birdie stared. “What do you mean?”
“Birdie, Rex kissed me. But I told him off.”
“Really?”