by M. J. Haag
“June, there’s a spot on the outside of what I’d call the hip area that sometimes feels really good to have rubbed. Would you mind if he worked on that over the sheet?”
“Not at all.”
“When starting on a new area, don’t assume it should be the same pressure. Start light and ask how the pressure is. Once you get to know a client’s preferences, you won’t need to ask all the time. But for now, start light and ask.”
Since he’d already started tentatively rubbing, I gave feedback right away.
“That’s plenty firm. I didn’t realize how sore that spot was until you started rubbing it.”
“Yeah, it’s hit and miss for some people. I love it when Shax rubs there, but Eden didn’t like it. It was too tender. Hannah said she didn’t trust Merdon’s hand that close to his favorite spot.” Angel chuckled to herself.
“Tor made a comment about Merdon and Hannah that worried me,” I said as the fingers gently continued to work the tension from my outer butt cheeks. “He said Merdon only hurts Hannah enough so she doesn’t hurt herself. Does Merdon hit Hannah?”
“Merdon trains Hannah. Part of that training is that flipping and avoiding being bitten like you’ve been doing. Fey teeth are sharper, so Merdon is careful, but yes, he will bite her to remind her that she needs to fight back to survive. While he would never truly hurt her, the infected won’t hesitate. And part of his reminder also includes a sharp smack to her ass if he happens to get her to the mat. He promised Mary and James that he never leaves a lasting mark, though.”
The fey set his hand in the center of my back for a moment then covered my top half before sliding his hand down my left leg and uncovering that.
“I guess that explains why Eden and Hannah keep it real with biting. I’m glad they didn’t incorporate spanking.”
Angel snorted.
“Eden put her foot down. She doesn’t want to feed any of Ghua’s fantasies.”
“Ghua wants to spank her, too? Is it a fey thing?”
The hand smoothing lotion down my leg hesitated only a fraction, and Angel laughed.
“No, it’s not a fey thing. If Eden was into spanking, Ghua would be into it too. Since she’s not, he’s not. But I bet he wouldn’t mind trying. Ghua’s a curious guy. Especially sexually. I think his openness to try anything and everything scares Eden a little. She doesn’t need to worry, though. The fey are completely respectful of boundaries.”
The fey rubbing me sure was. He never went too far up my thigh or too far toward the center to make me uncomfortable. Everything he touched, though, felt good. The perfect pressure, and he always seemed to sense what felt amazing since his fingers lingered longer in those spots.
“June, would you be comfortable with me stepping out for two minutes? Ninja just karate kicked me in the bladder.”
“I’m completely okay with it.”
The door closed, and there was nothing but relaxing silence and the firm, soothing touch on my calf. I groaned when he used his whole hand to kind of knead the entire muscle.
“That feels so good. I really hope more people volunteer for this. You’re doing incredible.”
He didn’t respond, only continued his work, slowly moving down the calf to my heel.
“Foot rubs are hit and miss with me,” I warned him. “If you keep your touch firm, we’ll be okay. If you’re too light, it won’t be relaxing. My toes are ticklish.”
He grunted in acknowledgment and firmly stroked his thumb over my arch again and again.
“Perfect,” I said.
Angel reentered the room, asked how everything was while she was gone, and praised my fey for his good work after my report. When he finished my other leg and it was time for me to turn over, she was right there to make sure the fey stayed looking away and covered my eyes with a washcloth so I would remain focused on relaxing.
The fey worked on my neck, arms, and the front side of my legs again. And by the time he was done, I felt like a human puddle.
“I could fall asleep here,” I mumbled as he left the room.
Angel patted my arm.
“If you want to, go for it. If you want another fey in here to do it all over again, I can make that happen too. It’s all up to you.”
“I think I’m good for now, but I might be back tomorrow. This was amazing.”
“Take your time getting up. We’ll be in the kitchen.”
The door closed again, and I lay there for a moment. It had been one of the best massages I’d ever gotten. Perhaps the most needed, too, I thought, sitting up and removing the cloth covering my eyes. The one that had absorbed my tears during the last few minutes.
The world was hard to live in sometimes. It always had been.
Infected. Hellhounds. Fey. Those were new elements to deal with. Breakups. Heartache. Loneliness. Those hadn’t gone away with the end of the world and likely never would.
I needed to figure out how to deal with them and keep living. Preferably before some fey got it in his head that I needed spank motivation. Wiping away the remnants of my tears, I smiled to myself and got dressed.
Angel had a glass of water waiting for me in the kitchen.
“Where’d Shax go?” I asked after I drank it down.
She chuckled. “Outside with all the rest of the fey to learn how the massage went. They’re beyond excited to hear all the muscular details. If you’re ever daring enough to ask for a boob massage, let me know how it goes. Shax is crazy good at them, and I’m interested to know how well the skills transfer by word of mouth.”
“Considering the massage I just received, I’d say it works well. I can’t believe that was your volunteer’s first time giving a massage.”
“He’d be happy to be your personal masseur. All you’d need to do is say the word.”
I shook my head.
“I don’t want to give anyone false hope. I already explained to Tor that I need time.”
She nodded sympathetically.
“I understand.”
“I’m not sure Tor does. I’m worried all the time he’s spending with me is sending the wrong signals, especially after what’s already happened. I’ve seen how people treat the fey and don’t want to be another source of cruelty.”
“It’s sweet of you to worry about him. But you can’t control his hopes, June. You know that, right? Besides, allowing a massage after the beating you took early this morning is hardly sending mixed signals. Every fey watching was wincing on your behalf.”
“If Merdon taught Hannah to fight, does that mean the fey train like that? Now, that’s something I wouldn’t mind spectating.”
A speculative look entered Angel’s eyes.
“You’re full of good ideas. I’m so glad you’re here and can’t wait until Tenacity’s less fey-hostile. We’re going to have so many ways for them to fall in love with the fey.”
“Remember what I said about the love connections.”
She waved away my concern with a sudden wince and a belly rub.
“I think I’m going to go lie down. The freeloader is all knees and elbows this afternoon. I’ll stop by later with the list of names, though.”
“No rush. Take it easy. Growing babies is hard work.” I glanced wistfully at her belly and grabbed my things.
“If you see Shax out there, send him in, okay? I’m ready for my own back rub.”
With a wave goodbye, I let myself out.
The mass of fey gathered in the front yard, their backs toward me, was a bit of a surprise. As soon as they heard the door open, the low rumble of the man speaking stopped, and the fey turned to look at me.
I offered a friendly smile to the group.
“Shax? Angel’s back is hurting her. She’s wondering if you could join her inside.”
The fey parted, revealing Shax. He nodded and strode toward me, along with Tor, as the rest of the fey dispersed.
“I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“You didn’t. We were finished. Are you ready to g
o home?”
“I am. Thanks for waiting around.”
Relaxed from the massage, I thought of little else but the long soak that I planned to have once we reached Tor’s place. He seemed content with my silence, leaving me to disappear into the master bath in peace.
The lavender-infused water did wonders for my body, but not so much for my mind. Thoughts of Adam crept in, especially his plan to leave for the caves, and I found a certain irony in it all. Adam broke up with me so I wouldn’t worry about him; yet, I couldn’t stop it. I told Tor I wasn’t ready for a boyfriend to prevent him from placing his hopes in a relationship with me; yet, he couldn’t stop what he felt either. Angel was right. We couldn’t control what someone else was feeling. I wondered if that meant Adam felt as guilty about causing me pain as I felt about potentially causing Tor pain.
Mentally cringing away from it all, I sank lower in the steaming water.
While I cared about Adam and knew he continued to care about me, our relationship was forever changed. The sooner I came to terms with that, the better off I would be. However, knowing that didn’t turn off the tumultuous cycle of regrets, doubt, and self-recrimination.
Realizing my mistake in taking a bath, I quickly left the warm water and dried off. I needed to stay busy and keep my mind focused on something productive rather than my three-year failed attempt at a happily-ever-after.
Concentrating on clearing out the bad seeds from Tenacity was a perfect task for me. While it might prove physically dangerous, it was emotionally safer, by far. There were so many moving pieces, but I trusted everyone to do their parts. They wanted the same thing just as badly as I did, though for different reasons.
As soon as I was dressed, I opened the door and almost screamed at the sight of Tor right there in the hall.
“June, you are safe,” he said quickly.
“Sorry,” I said, pressing a hand over my heart. “I startled easily even before the infected showed up. Did you need to get into your bedroom?” As soon as I asked the question, I realized I needed to move my clothes downstairs.
“No. I wanted to tell you I made you something to eat.”
“Oh, thank you. I’ll be down in a minute.”
He grunted and turned away while I went to the dresser to collect my clothes. There wasn’t much in my arms when I was done.
From the kitchen, Tor watched me descend the stairs.
“Be right there,” I said, hurrying into Adam’s room. I stopped short at the sight of the bedless space and backtracked.
“Did you put the bed upstairs?” I asked.
He gave me a decidedly uncomfortable look and tugged at his ear, something he tended to do when he was upset.
“Brog and Turik came for Adam’s things as well as the bed last night. I didn’t know you wanted to keep it.”
“N-no. I didn’t.” Of course, they’d come for Adam’s things and needed the bed. Tor had told me there weren’t a lot of spares. “That’s completely fine, Tor. Don’t even worry about it. I’ll put my stuff in the other room upstairs.”
“Please sleep in my bed. The sheets are clean.” The tips of his ears darkened, and I knew he was thinking of this morning when he averted his gaze.
My mouth opened and closed twice as I almost said several stupid things. Reminding him that we were just friends would not only be hurtful but pointless as Angel had said. Asking him if he minded sharing was laughable, and insisting I could sleep on the floor was plain self-destructive after the workout I had today.
“Okay,” I said finally. “I promise to try staying on my side of the bed.”
He lifted his gaze to mine and nodded slowly, which made it hard to tell what he might be thinking. Probably hoping that I wouldn’t and that he’d wake up with me on him again.
I gave him a reassuring smile, set my things on the steps, and joined him at the island where he had two bowls waiting.
“What’s this?” I asked, sitting.
“Emily showed me how to make the noodle box meals. It has meat in it.”
I took a bite and made an appreciative noise. It was far better than the dried foods I’d been fixing and more flavorful than the canned goods we’d had so far.
“Do you like it?” he asked.
“I do. It’s been a long time since I had anything like this.”
“What are your favorite foods?” he asked.
“I’m not even sure anymore. I miss salads the most, but I don’t think they were my favorite. Maybe burgers? There were some good bars around campus that had the best grilled burgers.” Those thoughts stirred some Adam memories, so I quickly changed the subject. “What about you? What foods do you miss most from your old life?”
“Aodibun. It is a water creature with a hard shell that had to be cracked open. I ate it right from the shell.” He sighed slightly. “It was a good taste. Hard to find. I would swim for hours in some pools.”
“Is your home pretty?” I asked.
“In many ways, yes. This is prettier, though.”
He told me stories about the caves and his adventures in them while we ate. The animation in his expression and the way he described things pulled me in so thoroughly that I didn’t notice the passing time. I loved listening to him, the sound of his voice, and the wry smile he flashed when he admitted past mistakes.
He talked me into playing games with him after dinner, and I heard his laugh for the first time when he crushed me at Go-Fish and I stuck my tongue out at him. The sound curled around me, wrapping me dangerously in his spell. I knew it was too soon and there were too many reasons why even these simple moments weren’t fair to either of us. But I didn’t have the heart to walk away. I liked spending time with Tor too much.
“We should bet on the next game,” he said, shuffling the cards.
“Oh, like what?”
“If you win, I will find you a fresh salad.”
I snorted. “You must be pretty confident I won’t win. There’s no way you’ll find a salad.”
He smirked at me. “I know where to find one.”
“Okay. I’m interested. And what do you want if you win?”
“I want to be the one to stay with you when you go to Tenacity.”
It was like he’d read my mind moments ago. I knew I should say no but decided to let fate make the choice for us.
One hand later, I said goodbye to my hope for a salad and shook my head at Tor.
“It’s not going to be very fun for you in Tenacity.”
“I am not concerned with fun. I’m concerned with you. I will keep you safe while you taunt the other humans. They will not hurt you like they hurt Adam. I promise.”
Chapter Fifteen
A knock on the door saved me from having to respond. I jumped up from the table and hurried to answer it.
Emily waited in the encroaching dusk and smiled at me.
“Have a few minutes?” she asked.
“More than a few. Come on in.”
I took her jacket for her and led her to the cozy couch.
“How did it go?” I asked, sitting with her. Behind us, Tor shuffled the cards and went to the kitchen.
“Better than I expected. Taylor, Caleb, and Connor are onboard. There are a lot of undercurrents they’ve already picked up on, and I’ve started a watchlist with a few names they’ve given me.
“Matt said he’s ready to use their storage shed for the food kitchen. He also had some great ideas. Whiteman had a full cafeteria setup that they left behind when everyone evacuated. Tomorrow, some of the fey are going to go there for the supplies. Matt’s asked them to sneak the things into Tenacity after dark. He doesn’t want anyone to question what’s going on until it’s time to open the doors.
“The temporary kitchen will have a few simple camp stoves that they were using at Whiteman. And we won’t have to worry about dishes or utensils. It sounds like he’ll have everything we need for the setup. All we have to do is provide the fey and the food.”
“That’s great.
Did you see Ryan after he returned from the supply run?”
“I did. And he had a sizable haul. The people who volunteered were less than happy about it.”
“That makes no sense.”
“The big hauls are riskier. He takes the fey into the cities for the bigger stores they can find. Two untouched chain stores could feed everyone well for several days. But they tend to be filled with infected and traps. The people in Tenacity would rather hit outlying homes that are less risky.”
“And are probably already picked over,” I said.
“True.”
There was another knock on the door that Tor hurried to answer.
“Hi, Tor. Can I speak with June, please?” Angel asked, her gaze already searching for me. She smiled when she spotted Emily sitting with me, and I waved her in.
Shax, her shadow, followed behind her.
“I have good timing,” she said.
She handed off her jacket to Shax and joined us on the couch. Tor and Shax lounged in the chairs nearby and listened to Emily repeat what she’d learned.
“How many volunteers do we have, and did you warn them that they might be spit at?” Emily asked when she finished.
My mouth dropped open a little, and my gaze shifted to Tor. He flashed his teeth at me and shrugged, which made me sad for all the fey that this wasn’t news to them.
“Usually, I’d say that every fey volunteered, regardless of the spitting. But tomorrow’s the day that Uan is going back to the caves,” Angel said.
A sick knot settled into my stomach at the news.
“There were a lot of volunteers for that,” she continued, “and Drav’s going to decide who goes in the morning, along with who’s in the new group he’s going to send out to look for Molev. I did get eight fey who are fully committed to doing this, though.”
“Molev?” I asked as the name teased my memory.
“Our leader,” Tor said. “He has been missing for a long time.”
“Almost two months,” Emily said. “Matt’s been sending out the plane to look for him, along with signs of any other survivors, but it hasn’t been very successful, and there’s no fuel left. They switched to sending out scouting parties now.” She looked at Angel. “And eight is perfect. I don’t think we should need more fey than that.”