by M. J. Haag
“They’ll report to your house in the morning,” Angel said. “Do you need help showing them what to do? I’m more than willing.”
“And skip feight club?” Emily asked.
Angel shrugged lightly.
“I think Brenna is going to stay with her mom tomorrow, and Merdon will probably train Hannah at home to avoid any potentially painful reminders.”
Emily nodded slowly.
“Yeah, I think you’re right. I might pull Hannah into helping train the fey to cook, too. She makes some amazing biscuits, which would be a good thing to learn. It’ll be a crowded kitchen, though. Maybe we can split into two groups. Four in our house and four in yours. I could be the go-between.”
With feight club canceled the next day and Emily training her fey volunteers, what was I going to do? I didn’t want to sit around, thinking about Adam leaving for the caves.
“Do you have any menu ideas based on the supplies we have so far? Anything you still need?” I asked.
“I’ve been thinking about the menus and the overall goal for the plan. We want to draw the troublemakers out, right? I think the food on the first day needs to be pretty good. Enough to get people talking. Ryan’s done an amazing job finding supplies. We have a lot of canned vegetables, noodles, and rice. Enough to throw together a decent soup for the first day, easily. But I’d like to up the game. Biscuits would do that. Bread would be even better. Meat even better than that.
“I’m figuring we’ll need at least enough to serve two hundred the first day, three hundred the second day, and the full five hundred the third day. I think the third day is when most of the troublemakers will show up. So a lot more flour if we can find it. And meat. It doesn’t need to be a ton of it. Just enough to have bits floating in the soup to show what Ryan’s finding out there.”
I thought of Tor’s freezer and glanced at him. We would need to talk about that once we were alone.
“I’ll go out with the supply group tomorrow and watch for both those things,” I said.
We talked more about aspects of cooking for the large group and what issues we might face. After a while, I offered to cook dinner for everyone, which turned into an evening of cards with the group. I couldn’t have asked for a better distraction and said a heartfelt thank you to the three of them when they finally said it was time to go.
Angel hugged me at the door, and based on the extra little squeeze, I knew she understood my reason for leaving tomorrow even if Emily didn’t.
“I’ll save you some biscuits,” she promised before she left.
I turned to Tor once the door was closed and gave him a tired smile.
“How do you feel about donating a roast or two if we don’t find any tomorrow?” I asked, moving toward the stairs.
“I will give whatever you need.”
I knew he meant every word of it.
“Thank you, Tor.”
Neither of us spoke as we made our way to the master bedroom. My stomach churned with nerves as I took my pajamas into the bathroom to change. When I emerged, the lights were off, and I could see Tor’s shape already in the bed. On his side.
A glint of light reflected on his eyes, an indicator that he watched me as I pulled back the covers and got in on my side.
“Sleep sweet, June,” he said softly.
“You too, Tor.”
He exhaled deeply. Something about the sound said he was winding down for sleep. It helped me relax enough to close my eyes. Instead of thinking of how I’d screwed up this morning with Tor, my mind drifted to Adam leaving tomorrow.
I hurt for him and hoped he would find the answer he was looking for.
Bliss. Contentment. Those two feelings lingered with me as I slowly rose from the depths of the best night’s sleep I’d had for a long time. I was warm, comfortable, and didn’t feel an ounce of worry about anything.
I frowned slightly, my sleepy brain trying to remember why I needed to feel any worry.
The reality crash that followed could have been worse. However, why I was so content took center stage over all the other negative aspects of my life.
Tor’s hand gently smoothed over my back. His chest rose and fell under me. I was laying on the man like he was my personal bed space. And based on the hard length pressing into my stomach, he was loving every second of it.
Unlike yesterday, I had the presence of mind not to move more than my head as I lifted it to look down at him. He watched me, his hand continuing its slow, soothing circle.
“I know I didn’t climb up here myself.”
“You were making a sad face in your sleep. I hugged you, and you seemed to like it, except for my arm under you. I think it hurt your side. I rolled over like this so I could continue hugging you and keep the sadness away without hurting you.” He lifted his head and breathed in deeply near my neck, which sent a tingle of need through me.
“You smell good,” he said in a husky rumble before lowering his head back to the pillow.
He didn’t grind against me or move his hand to any area other than my back. What else could I think but that he was being completely honest about how and why I’d gotten into this position? Tor had truly only meant to soothe away the sadness Adam’s departure had caused me, even in my sleep.
Curling my arms around Tor’s sides, I set my head against his chest again.
“You smell good, too,” I said softly. “Thank you for taking care of me.”
His cock twitched against me.
“I will always care for you.”
My pulse sped up, and for a moment, Tor was the focus of my thoughts. What would it be like if he and I were together? Would he hold me like this every night? I knew the answer to that would be yes. He would hold me like this when I wanted and do so much more when I was ready. My core clenched at the thought of doing more with Tor. The man was huge. Would I like it? I wasn’t sure, and I definitely wasn’t ready to find out. Yesterday had been enough of a shock to last me a while.
“Is it okay for me to move yet?” I asked softly.
“I won’t release against you again. I apologize for yesterday. I should have released before bed but forgot. I made sure to use my hand after you fell asleep.”
I jerked my head up to stare down at him and struggled with what to say. Did he just admit that he’d masturbated in bed? Next to me? Did I really want to ask and get more clarification? Absolutely not.
“I appreciate your honesty, Tor. I really do. But maybe you don’t need to be so open about everything.”
“What do you mean?”
“You shouldn’t tell a girl that you masturbated in bed next to her.”
“I didn’t masturbate next to you. I went to the bathroom so I wouldn’t make a mess on the sheets again. I know you didn’t like that.”
The twitch between us was even more noticeable than the time before. He may know that I hadn’t liked it, but he certainly had.
“I think I’m going to get up now. I don’t want to be late for the supply run.”
He grunted and released me. I carefully eased off of him and averted my gaze as I got out of bed.
“I will make you something to eat,” he said before he got up and left the room.
I breathed a sigh of relief and quickly dressed. When I went downstairs, he was standing by the stove. A pair of shorts covered his hips, but his back was exposed for my perusal. His grey skin had stopped looking odd to me. Instead, the dusky color tempted me.
Swallowing hard, I sat on the stool and tried to understand what I was doing. I had no business feeling any attraction to Tor when I was still so caught up with Adam.
“But are you?” a little voice inside of me asked.
I paused, trying to decide what exactly I did feel. I was still hurt by the way Adam had left me and what he’d said. I missed him because he’d been a familiar part of my life for so long. And I loved him. But that love wasn’t a burning passion. It was a flame of caring and devotion to someone who’d risked everything time and agai
n to keep me safe.
Angel’s words teased my mind again.
Adam had asked me to let him go. Why cling to someone who didn’t ask for devotion?
“You look unhappy,” Tor said. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m struggling,” I said honestly. “Adam is leaving today to go to the caves. I trust the fey to keep him safe until he gets there. But I understand what he means to do. He hopes that once he’s in those caves, he’ll be reborn without injuries like you guys are. That means he needs to die.
“What if it doesn’t work? I don’t know how to feel about him possibly heading to his death. I know he and I are not a couple anymore. But that doesn’t simply erase three years of memories and feelings.” I let out a frustrated breath.
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to think or feel. And, honestly, waking up on you like I did this morning was amazing for so many of the wrong reasons. It was a good distraction. It made me feel safe and cared for. And none of that is fair to you because I know what you want from me, and I’m not sure it’s something I can give.”
He turned off the stove and prowled toward me. This time, I didn’t back away or ask him not to touch me.
When he towered over me, he ran his fingers through my hair.
“You think so much. Thank you for telling me. But don’t worry about what I feel for you. I understand how you feel. Let that be enough. I promised to respect the rules you put in place for us.”
I gave him an exasperated look.
“Saying stuff like that isn’t helping.”
He flashed his teeth at me.
“It is. You only don’t see how yet. I will keep helping you, my June. You will see.”
He playfully tugged a strand of my hair.
“I think I will go shower and use my hand again while you eat.” He sauntered away, calling, “You better hurry,” over his shoulder as I stared after him with my mouth hanging open.
Did he not understand what I meant by not oversharing? I did not need images in my head of Tor stroking his enormous cock while I ate my breakfast.
Yet, that was exactly what I had along with my strawberry oatmeal.
I’d barely managed my last bite when he strolled back downstairs dressed for the day.
“Are you ready to find flour for bread and biscuits? Is a biscuit like your strawberry oatmeal?”
The normal, non-sexual question put me at ease and helped banish some of the images plaguing my thoughts. The tight shirt he wore made up for them, though.
“It’s better,” I answered, joining him by the door.
He grunted, his doubt plain on his face, and I grinned. His expression didn’t change even after I described a biscuit’s buttery flakiness.
“Angel said she would save me one. I’ll let you try a bite of mine. I think you’ll be surprised.” He helped me put on my knife harness and watched me tug on my boots.
“Surprises are not always good.”
“True. Do you like sweet things? Like honey?”
“I don’t know if I’ve tasted honey.”
“Then I’m adding that to today’s list. Flour, meat, shirts that fit you, and honey.”
We continued talking as we made our way to the wall. Tor didn’t mind chocolate, but it wasn’t his favorite. In fact, meat of any kind beat any human food he’d tried so far, even the cake Emily had made us back in Tenacity.
“Biscuits and honey will be your new favorite food,” I said. “Just wait and see.”
He flashed his teeth at me and picked me up to jump over the wall. Ryan was in another fey’s arms, but he was the only other human I saw before tucking my face against Tor’s chest.
“Were there any foods in the caves that were sweet?” I mumbled against his shirt.
“Many.”
“You should have asked your brothers to bring some back.”
“They will, along with seeds. I like when you talk against my nipple.”
I jerked in his arms, and he rumbled with laughter.
“Were you just teasing me?”
“Yes.”
I grinned.
“You’re lucky I’m not like Eden or Hannah. If I were, I’d try to bite you in retribution.”
“You should try. I might like it. Your blunt, little teeth aren’t meant to bring pain.”
I snorted against his chest, knowing he was fully teasing me now, and went ahead and playfully nipped him. It wasn’t easy to find anything to nip. Not only was his shirt tight, everything underneath it was too. I ended up mouthing him more than biting. His arms twitched around me, and I immediately apologized.
“That didn’t work well.”
The rumble of his laughter shook through me.
“You may try that again later,” he said, playfully tugging my hair.
I rolled my eyes and kept my face buried until he jumped over Tenacity’s wall. Matt was already there waiting for us along with a very small group of people.
“Good morning,” he called to Ryan as Tor set me down.
“We want to know where we’re going today before we commit to a run,” one of the men shouted. The tension in Matt’s face tightened as he shook Ryan’s hand. I couldn’t hear what he said to Mya’s brother but did see his lips move and the way that Ryan’s gaze swept to the waiting people.
“We’re going to press closer to Columbia again. From the north this time. We’re not expecting any more infected than usual. Depending on the number of people who decide to go, we can change up the size of the groups. I swear we won’t take any unnecessary risks.”
“We don’t want to go to the city. We want to search houses.”
“I understand. We can go back to some of the neighborhoods we’ve already hit, but we’re likely to hit more infected and traps than we can deal with. If I had more fey, maybe I’d be willing to take that risk. You know what happened when we went back to the distribution center. They were waiting. It’s better to avoid repeats. And as far as hitting somewhere new, we’ve tapped out everything that’s close. We can go farther out, but we run a higher risk of being out after dark.
“This is the world we live in now. There are risks. We need to accept that. I’m studying the maps at night and doing my best to keep our supply runs as random as possible in case the infected are smart enough to see patterns. I’m also gambling on what cities have and haven’t been bombed. Anyone who wants to take over leading supply runs is more than welcome to it. I’d be happy to hand over the maps. And the fey are more than willing to work with someone new.”
No one volunteered. Two men walked away, leaving less than a dozen volunteers.
“All right then. If we’re ready, let’s load up.”
“June,” Matt called when I would have turned to follow everyone.
I paused as Matt jogged toward me.
“I wanted to check on you. How are you doing? How’s Adam?” He said it perfectly loud enough to be overheard but not so loud as to be obvious.
“Adam can’t walk, Matt. How do you think he’s doing?”
Matt grew serious.
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
I nodded as an engine started.
“Good luck out there,” he said. “If you ever feel like rejoining Tenacity, we could use the help.”
I made a disbelieving face, shook my head, and turned on my heel, walking away without a word. At least two people witnessed it.
That was good. I wanted word to spread that Adam was hurt, and I was carrying a grudge about it. It would make it a little easier to convince them I had a chip on my shoulder when I moved back.
Instead of leading me to the back of the truck, Tor led me to the cab of one where Richard waited. In the passenger seat.
“Hi, June. Looks like I’ll be your copilot today, if you’re willing?”
I raised my brows.
“You want me to drive?”
“We need drivers we can trust. If you’re willing to learn, I’m willing to teach you.”
For the next hou
r, I focused on driving. It wasn’t easy at first, but it got easier. Richard was patient and laughed when I accidentally choked the engine during my first stop. He didn’t seem worried about anything, which helped. By the time we reached the outer city limits, I had more confidence and pulled the truck around like he instructed without any problem.
“You did great, June. Not much of a difference between this and a pickup, right?”
I was too polite to disagree to his face. Driving the truck had been much harder. He grinned knowingly.
“Go on and find enough to fill up the back.”
Tor opened my door and helped me down. Richard would wait with the trucks and his assigned fey. My usual group of fey gathered around me, and we listened to Ryan.
“We’re looking for bigger stores. Stay close. Stay together. And signal if you spot any infected.”
Chapter Sixteen
Moving through the city was a lot different than moving through the suburbs. Some of the roofs weren’t as accessible, so there was less cover. And there was a lot more tension.
Only two of the people from Tenacity had left the back of the truck after seeing where we’d stopped. It seemed stupid to come all this way and not at least try, but I understood their fear. I was so filled with it that I felt sick. The only thing holding me together was Tor’s strong arms. I leaned more firmly into his chest, glad he was carrying me. The fey were far faster than any human could hope to be, and I knew he would bolt if any infected were spotted.
He gave me a comforting squeeze and continued jogging with the group.
Ryan lifted his arm and pointed to the left. The fey changed directions, turning down that street at the same time an infected called out close by. I lifted my head and looked behind us. Several of the fey peeled away from the main group, darting away to investigate the source of the sound. I hoped it wasn’t a trap.
Tor turned again, and I saw we were heading straight for a chain store and grinned. Eight fey encircled each human-carrying fey while the rest went inside to do an initial sweep. I knew the store was full of infected when three ran out into the early morning light. The nearest fey broke away and killed the infected before they could make a sound.