Reckoning

by Leigh, Jo

  He’d shown her how incredible her body could feel. How ineffectual her previous partners had been. It was a whole new ballgame with Nate, and yet…

  If Nate did intend to sleep with her again, she would have to tell him no. It wasn’t fair, and she wanted him like crazy, but she wouldn’t be his distraction. She’d learn to live with her own failure somehow, but there would be no getting over being the cause of Nate’s.

  Chapter 6

  Nate sat on the edge of the bed in the room he’d taken for a month. No matter what, he wouldn’t be signing up for another. His head dropped to his chest in exhaustion as he waited for Tam to finish in the bathroom.

  It was after two-thirty in the morning and the team had talked over the plan until they all begged to go to sleep. It hadn’t been enough. There were a great many things that had to go right for this to work. Every member of the team would have to do their part, and do it quickly. Their income would have been sharply curtailed, but damn if Vince and Kate hadn’t saved the day. He’d objected to them throwing their savings into the pot, but they’d insisted.

  He needed Tam and Kate to work here at the motel. He also needed computers for them to work on. And video equipment. He’d have to rent a machine shop, Harper and Tam would have to do some fancy chemistry and they’d all have to not get caught.

  Boone, Seth and Cade needed to get inside that chamber. They needed to map out that whole building and figure out the electrical system.

  He wiped a weary hand over his face then turned at the sound of the bathroom door opening.

  Just looking at Tam calmed him down. He had a bunch of excuses for sharing this room with her but only one real reason. He wanted her. It was stupid and distracting and he knew better, but damnit, the idea of not having her in his bed wasn’t acceptable.

  She had changed into a long blue nightgown, one that had no sleeves, but had ruffles by her neck. It wasn’t something he would have imagined her buying if she’d had a choice. She also looked sad again, depressed, and he instantly put his problems on the back burner. “Tam?”

  “It’s all yours,” she said, stepping away from the bathroom door.

  He would have liked a shower, but he wasn’t about to leave now. “What’s wrong?”

  She looked at him pensively, as if she were deciding something important, then she joined him on the bed. She was so light, the mattress hardly dipped. “This isn’t a good idea.”

  He sucked in a breath, afraid that if she tore apart the plan, he’d have to abandon it, and he had nothing else. “What, specifically?”

  “You. Me. One bed.”

  It took him a moment to realize what she meant. He’d been thinking about this damn plan for days, but it hadn’t coalesced until the drive up here. “I don’t understand.”

  “I really loved making love with you, you know that, right?”

  “I was sure up until about fifteen seconds ago.”

  Her smile hadn’t always made him nuts. When he’d first seen her—nothing. Not a twinge, not a clue. It had changed somewhere along the line, but he had no idea why. He was absolutely certain, however, that if Tam smiled then asked him to run the circumference of the earth, he’d do it, or die trying.

  “Come on,” she said. “You were there, you know how incredible it was.”

  He looked into her almond-shaped eyes. Hell, she didn’t even need to smile. “Yeah, I know.”

  “And I was there when you realized you’d forgotten to call Seth.”

  “It happens.”

  “To normal people. Not to you.”

  “So I’m not normal?”

  “God, no,” she said, and she sounded insulted. “You’re an amazing man. An amazing leader.”

  “Thanks, I think.”

  “You should be thankful. You’re not just saving our lives, but the lives of hundreds, maybe thousands of people.”

  “Tam, what’s the issue here?”

  “I’m a distraction. I don’t mean to be, but it’s clear I am. We can’t afford any distractions. Capisce?”

  “It’s a real good argument, there, Tamara, but completely off base.”

  She leaned to the left and gave him one of her impatient looks. Back in the lab he’d gotten her a coffee pot, a treadmill and a hell of a lot of weird techno CDs all because of that look. “You turned completely cold and distant when you came back to the real world.”

  “Damn scientists never know when to ignore things.”

  “That wasn’t a function of me being a scientist, dummy. Despite my lack of skills, I’m still a woman.”

  He grinned, he couldn’t help it. That was one of the things that knocked him out about her. She thought she was a complete nerd. From top to toe. She was right, mostly. Except there was something else about her that had been calling to him for months.

  He took her hand in his and met her gaze. “Sweetie, I haven’t once been confused about your gender. You are the sexiest, most irresistible woman I’ve ever known.”

  She yanked her hand away. “Knock it off, Pratchett. I know all about your past exploits.”

  “Hey, that’s not fair.”

  “You think we both came into this from a void? That we didn’t have lives?”

  “Things change.”

  “How many women have you been with since Kosovo?”

  Man, she was brutal. “You. That’s all.”

  “Given the circumstances, aren’t you the least bit suspicious of your feelings about yesterday? That it may not have been the woman, but the event itself?”

  “You think too goddamn much. I am not some kid who believes he’ll die if he doesn’t get some. I’m also experienced enough to recognize when something incredible happens in my life. Oddly, incredible doesn’t happen very often. I was angry when I realized I hadn’t checked in with the team. But I wasn’t angry at you.”

  “Yes, you were.”

  “Okay, I was. But only for about an hour. Then I got my head out of my ass.”

  She grinned. “I’m trying as hard as I can not to picture that.”

  “Good. It was metaphorical.”

  “I realize.”

  “It was also the truth. Look, I may be making a huge mistake, but I don’t think so. I relaxed more on the drive here than I have in maybe two years. I relaxed enough to pull together the plan that might save us all. I slept better, too. I’m going to need that kind of calm over the next month, more than ever. I don’t mean to trivialize what happened between us, or make it all about me, but Tam, come on. If you’re staying in another room, I won’t be thinking about saving lives, I’ll be thinking about you.”

  “Really?”

  He gave her one of his impatient looks. “Do you think I want to die alone?”

  Tam studied his face. Not the silly expression, but his eyes. She’d come to know some things about Nate, and she’d learned his expressive eyes gave him away. It’s how she’d known that he wanted her. That only his strong values had kept him from coming on to her while he was her only contact. His eyes had let her know that her own decision to make love to him was a good one.

  Now, this minute, he was unsure. He couldn’t be certain that sharing a bed wasn’t a mistake. Of course, she couldn’t be certain that it wasn’t the smartest thing they’d ever done. “All right,” she said, “but on a trial basis. First time you screw up, I’m out of here. Got it?”

  He leaned over and kissed her on the lips. “Deal.” He brushed her cheek with the back of his hand. “I hope you won’t take this the wrong way, but tonight, it’s just sleep. I’m too damn tired to do anything else.”

  “The hell with that. You can’t perform, I’m gone.”

  The look of shock on his face made her laugh. “Get over yourself, soldier. I can make it through one night without your hot lovin’.”

  “I’m a very tired man, and you’re a very mean woman.”

  “No, I’m a very tired woman who’s gone past exhaustion all the way to stupid. Go wash up. Don’t be shocked if I’ve cr
ashed before you return.”

  “Hot lovin’,” he mumbled as he went to the bathroom. “Jeez.”

  She didn’t feel all that wonderful about the sheets, the pillows or any other part of the room, but there really wasn’t a choice—she needed to sleep.

  It felt as if the invasion of the lab had happened weeks ago. Except for the sense memories. Those were new, something she’d never experienced before. Unlike normal memories, these came to her as a scent or a sensation—but each one dragged her instantly back. The cool metal of her weapon brought her face to face with the man who’d tried to kill her. The searing heat of the raging fire took her straight to the closet and the claustrophobic terror that she was trapped between death by fire or by gunshot.

  If it was all the same to whoever was in charge, she’d rather skip the visceral associations. She got as comfortable as she could—relieved that the pillow didn’t smell—and shut her eyes. The dip of the bed pulled her from the beginning of sleep, but she didn’t mind. Not when she felt Nate’s body at her back. His arm slipped around her waist. He spooned with her, and it was the first time in her life that she’d had the experience. She’d always thought it was terribly romantic when she’d read it in books. But the real thing? Heaven.

  She wished she’d had the guts to sleep naked again, to feel him completely, but that was all she would have changed. With a deep sigh, she drifted once more. Safe.

  * * * * * *

  Christie completely understood why they’d picked her. They’d discussed the subject all day. Harper couldn’t go because she had to help Vince get the GHB. Kate couldn’t go because she had to help Vince with acquiring the computers. Tam was out of the question. She was still too shaky from her narrow escape in L.A. But Christie, they’d reasoned, wasn’t one of the original group. She hadn’t known a thing about Kosovo until Omicron had come after her. She was the logical choice.

  So she’d gotten all dolled up to go to the Renegade. Her mission was to flirt, to walk around, to get a clear shot of every man inside using the hidden camera in her purse strap. The camera was so tiny, she hadn’t believed it would work until Boone showed her the image on the monitor.

  Nate and Cade would be in the truck across the street from the bar. They’d make sure they had a good image of each guy, which Boone and Seth would then compare to the men with access to the chamber. When they found the right man, she’d get all dolled up again, go back to the Renegade when the subject was there, drug his drink and they’d steal his fingerprints. Easy as pie.

  She was scared spitless.

  Even before she’d been caught up in this mess, she’d never been one for bars. She wasn’t much of a drinker, and small talk wasn’t her forte, so there was a really good chance she could screw this up. Badly.

  Boone had assured her she was totally up to the task, but then, he loved her. What else would he say? Harper had given her a few tips, reminding her to smile no matter what, to touch her hair a lot and that if she wanted someone to look at her face instead of her boobs she needed to touch their arm, then laugh.

  Well, she couldn’t stand in the parking lot forever. She took a deep breath then walked to the door. She could hear Alan Jackson on the jukebox. Once inside she realized just how loud the music was.

  It was warm and crowded and so dark she worried that they wouldn’t get even one clear picture. Not her problem. She got out a twenty and headed for the bar, adjusting her purse on her shoulder.

  “Christie?”

  She jerked at Nate’s voice. In addition to the camera, she had a small receiver in her ear.

  “Don’t worry about the lighting,” he said. “We’ve got it covered. As soon as possible, find yourself a seat at the bar. We need to make sure the camera is at the right angle.”

  She wasn’t wearing a mike, so she just went ahead and did as he said. The bartender, tattooed and long haired, took her order, and then she turned to face the man on her right. He didn’t seem like someone who’d be given top secret security clearance, but that wasn’t her problem, either. “Hi.”

  “Hey. I haven’t seen you here before.”

  “I’m new in town. I heard there was work out here that wasn’t in a casino.”

  He nodded. Christie touched his arm, and laughed, sounding more like an idiot than a flirt. “I mean, if I have to serve one more drink…”

  It worked like a charm. He looked her in the face, his smile hopeful, his eyes glassy from too much beer.

  “We got it,” Nate said. “Move on.”

  She turned back to the bar, looking for the bartender. He showed up, she took her beer and handed him the cash. Then she turned to the man on her left.

  Now he looked like someone who might work for Omicron. He never smiled, he didn’t even try to check out her boobs and if she hadn’t spilled some beer on him, she wouldn’t have gotten the shot.

  It was a relief to stand after the all clear, but that moment of happiness slipped away as she gazed out at the crowded room. It was going to be a very long night.

  * * * * * *

  Nate got back to his room at 3:00 a.m. They got a lot of faces on tape, but they wouldn’t have results until Boone and Seth reviewed them.

  For his part, all he wanted was to crawl into bed and hold Tam.

  He still wasn’t sure the arrangements were going to work out. This was their second night at Motel Sleaze, and they still hadn’t made love.

  From the look of things, they weren’t going to tonight, either. Which, he hated to admit, was a relief. What he really needed was three days of nonstop sleep. It didn’t help that every waking moment was filled with tension. There was so much to do, so few people to do it and they all had to hide like outlaws.

  He looked at Tam, sleeping peacefully on her side of the bed, her hair still neat in a ponytail, her skin pale and perfect in the light from the john. He should wash up, brush his teeth, take off his clothes, but he couldn’t seem to move. She’d become his anchor. His reason. Not that he didn’t love his sister and care deeply about the rest of the team, but Tam was different. It shook him how badly he needed her to be okay. Nothing had panicked him as much as finding the lab torn apart. He’d seen a body seconds before the lab had blown up, and it could have been Tam. He’d raced to find her, but the anxiety had nearly crippled him. It was never to be mentioned, especially not to her, but there was no doubt in his mind that he would have lost it completely if she’d been killed. He’d have marched right into Omicron and murdered Leland Ingram with his bare hands.

  Senator Raines would have loved that. He’d milk the publicity for all it was worth, making certain the public believed that Nate was not only a traitor to his country but also a cold-blooded killer.

  He stretched his neck and moved his jaw as he headed for the bathroom. He felt like he’d aged twenty years in the last two. At least he had his friends and his sister right beside him. That was something to be grateful for. Tam was another.

  She’d lived. That’s what he needed to remember. Tam was alive. They’d made love, which had helped him remember why he was fighting so hard, and now there was a plan in motion to put this nightmare behind them.

  It didn’t take him long to wash and shave. Just as he was about to turn off the light, he heard Tam moan. When he got to the bed, she was still sleeping. She moaned again. He knew too well that she had a full range of nightmares in her beautiful head. But she wouldn’t have to finish this one. He sat. Touched her arm lightly. “Tam. Honey?”

  Practically vibrating with fright, her body was trembling and her breathing quick and shallow.

  “Tam, wake up. You’re okay. You’re safe.”

  Her eyes shot open he took her up into his arms, holding her tightly.

  “What happened?” she asked.

  “You were having a nightmare.”

  “Is that all? You scared me.”

  He pulled away so he could see her. “Is that all?”

  She nodded. “I’m sure you have them, too.”

&nbs
p; “That’s not the point.”

  Tam gave him a crooked smile. “What is?”

  “You shouldn’t have bad dreams. Ever.”

  “Why not? I’ve had some pretty crappy things happen. I believe that we work stuff out in our dreams. Did you know in REM sleep, we have the exact same brain wave patterns as when we’re awake?”

  He kissed her, long and deep. Who else would look at nightmares as rationally as Tam? Chalk one up for the science geek.

  Her arm went around his neck as the tip of her tongue brushed his lower lip. That was all it took. He moved away, got off the bed.

  “What?”

  “Too many clothes,” he said, crouching to take off his boots.

  “Good point.” She threw back the covers and whipped off that staid, frilly nightgown.

  He fumbled with his shoes some more because he couldn’t look down. Not when she was right there in front of him, naked, small, elegant. The fatigue that had him practically sleepwalking two minutes ago was gone. So was his coordination. He teetered for a moment then sat on the floor. Hard.

  Naturally, Tamara laughed.

  He cursed, but he wasn’t embarrassed or angry. Just happy she was okay. That they’d gotten through one more day without any injuries. At least he hoped so. Boone and Seth were still out there, risking it all.

  “Hey, what happened?”

  “I lost my balance.” He got to his feet so he could get his jeans off.

  “No, that’s not what I mean. One minute you were smiling and silly, the next you weren’t. What happened?”

  He shook his head. “Nothing. It’s not important.”

  Her head tilted to the side. “Wasn’t it you who said we can only do what we can do?”

  “Yeah.”

  “So tell me, Sergeant Pratchett. What can you do right now?”

  He dropped his pants and his boxers, then whipped off his shirt as he toed off his socks. “I’m not exactly sure,” he said. “Despite the fact that all I want is to ravish you until we’re both comatose, I’m really afraid that I’ll fall asleep at a very inappropriate time.”