Reckoning

by Leigh, Jo

  “I try.”

  She wished she had something more positive to say. That she was sure his girl would have waited, but waited for what? For a body? For a miracle?

  He took the picture back and put it safely away. “Anyway. Don’t worry. You’ve done fine. Just fine.”

  “Thank you,” she said.

  He smiled and walked away toward his single room.

  She headed to her room, then straight to the computer. She wanted to dive into work, to pull her weight.

  “Hey,” Nate said, as he closed the door behind him a moment later.

  She booted the computer before she turned to him. “What do you need?”

  “You,” he said. He sat on the bed and patted the ugly spread. “Here.”

  “I’ve got work to do.”

  “It can wait five minutes.”

  “Five minutes? Who are you kidding?”

  “All right. Ten.”

  She wanted to say no, but when had she ever been able to turn Nate down? He smiled as she got up, and it occurred to her that Nate was here during the middle of the day instead of downstairs planning with the rest of the team. She sat, but not close enough to touch.

  “What’s wrong, honey?”

  “Are you here because of me? Because of what Christie said?”

  “No.”

  “I don’t believe you.”

  “Okay, fine. I’m here because of you, but not because of what was said.”

  “Then why?”

  “I wanted to be with you. So sue me.”

  She shook her head. “It’s not necessary. Just go on and do what you have to. I’m sure there’s something important you’re putting off.”

  “Boone and Seth are sleeping. Cade’s working on the plant diagrams. Kate’s typing, Vince is complaining. It’s all good. I just thought we could have a little daytime together, that’s all.”

  She didn’t really believe him, but he was so damn charming. When he fell back on the bed, she was too weak to walk away. She stretched out next to him, which made her feel small and safe. She loved his size, although it embarrassed her to admit it. She loved how muscular he was no matter where she touched him and yet his skin was surprisingly soft. She even liked the way his chin got scratchy after a long day, although she wasn’t crazy about the stubble burns she had to deal with later.

  He curled himself around her and despite the sun bleeding through the blinds it felt as if it were night. When he started rubbing her back, making slow round circles, she sighed as she visualized all her worries as balloons floating toward the moon.

  “You have to know,” he said, his voice as soft as his touch, “that Christie didn’t mean—”

  “Nate. Don’t sweat it. Cade already talked to me, and I’m fine.”

  “Cade?”

  “Yes. He was very sweet.”

  “How sweet?”

  She shook her head. “Get your mind out of the gutter.”

  “Cade?” he asked again, lifting his head from the pillow.

  She put her fingers on his lips, then crawled up his body and kissed him, making sure he wouldn’t speak again. She wanted nothing more than his comfort and the amnesia that came with making love.

  She could still taste a hint of beer on his tongue, which was oddly exciting. When he tried to take the lead, she stopped him, thrusting her tongue forcefully. His moan told her he didn’t mind all that much, which was good. He didn’t have a choice. At least not right now.

  It was terribly un-PC of her, but she liked it when he was dominant in bed. Not that he ever made her do anything she didn’t want to, but he had taken her right to the edge of her comfort zone a couple of times. She’d never been with a man so strong. Just knowing what he could do if he wanted to made her quiver.

  She kept on kissing him as she maneuvered her body over his, straddling his hips. They were so slim compared to his chest, she teased him about being the model for G.I. Joe. He didn’t think it was nearly as funny as she did.

  His hands went to her waist where he snuck beneath her shirt. It was impossible to be still as his smooth palms caressed her bare skin, so she rubbed her sex over his groin.

  Despite her protests he pulled away from her kiss. “Take your clothes off,” he said with that gruff voice that made her wet.

  She sat up, still straddling him, and stripped off her shirt. Her bra was nothing special, just plain and white, but he always smiled when he saw her in it.

  His hands came up and he cupped each breast, squeezing gently, then flicking his thumbs over her covered nipples.

  She reached behind and unhooked it, and Nate slipped the straps off her shoulders. God, the way he looked at her. His gaze never moved down, but stayed focused on her face. For a crazy moment, she thought she might cry.

  Her hips had stopped moving, but his hadn’t. He pushed up, then down, his subtle way of telling her he’d be more comfy with his pants off. She thought about staying right where she was, then decided that was a lose-lose situation.

  She dismounted and for the next few minutes it was all about undressing. Once his pants were off, she appreciated his patience. The boy was very hard.

  “Come here,” he said, lifting her as if she hardly weighed a thing. He put her down on her back with her head on the pillow. His lips came down, but didn’t connect. “What do you want?” he whispered.

  She spread her legs beneath him. “No bells, no whistles.”

  “Then I suppose the French maid’s uniform is out of the question?”

  She bit his lower lip lightly but he yelped anyway.

  She laughed, then brought his head back down for a soothing kiss. This time, she didn’t stop him from taking her mouth.

  His hand slid down her body and when it didn’t reach his goal, he twisted until it did. His fingers slid over her lips. He was the one who teased now, dipping in but only for a second. He took his time, even when she lifted her hips.

  She supposed the only way to help things along was to offer manual encouragement. She found his hard cock and took one long, slow pull.

  He froze, body, fingers, lips.

  She smiled and did it again.

  That ended the teasing portion of the afternoon.

  “Ruthless,” he said. “You have no shame.”

  “None.”

  “Why is that?”

  “Don’t know. Must be part of my genetic makeup.”

  He took her mouth again, then he sat back, slipping out of her grasp. He lifted her legs and put them on his shoulders, then leaned down again, holding himself up with one arm. With his free hand he positioned himself, then he entered her. Not his usual bed-shaking thrust, but slowly. Letting her feel the thickness of his penis as it filled her inch by inch.

  When he couldn’t go in farther, he stopped. It was an amazing sensation. They were as close as two people could be, and she could feel his pulse down there. Or maybe it was her pulse. Or both.

  She closed her eyes, letting herself relax around him, adjusting to her position, and when she felt calm all the way to her toes, she clenched him, using the muscles that counted.

  He growled like a animal, but he didn’t move. Not yet. He waited until she opened her eyes, and then he pulled slowly out.

  “What are you doing to me?” she asked, surprised she sounded breathless.

  “This is the no bells, no whistles version,” he said. “I want you to know who’s inside you.”

  She closed her eyes at his words, trying not to make this more than it was.

  “Don’t close your eyes,” he said, increasing his pace. “Look at me.”

  She looked right into his eyes. He kept his head low so there was only inches between them. She could feel his breath on her lips and chin, and see the thickness of his eyelashes.

  And while she looked as intently as she ever had, he moved inside her, faster now, shifting the two of them as one on a ride that made the tears come back. She still wasn’t sure why, but this time, she wasn’t willing to blink. Sh
e watched him, rode with him as tears slipped down her cheeks.

  His expression changed to one of worry. She just gave him a smile that told him she was fine. He didn’t nod because that would have broken the trance.

  She was grateful now for the light coming through the blinds. Grateful that she had him, terrified it could all be gone in a blink.

  She felt him tremble, saw how hard it was for him to keep his silent promise. His lower half was taking over, and she gave in gracefully. He didn’t need to prove a thing.

  When his eyes closed, she reached between them to his small nipples. She took each one between finger and thumb and she grasped him with more force than she would have been able to take. But he did. His head reared back, and he slammed into her, seconds from his climax.

  Releasing him, she flicked the nipples with her thumbnails, moving faster as he got closer.

  His mouth opened, his face contorted, and he was there. He didn’t thrust again, but he pressed against her as if he needed to get closer still.

  She loved the way he came. He grunted and his cheeks turned a dull red, but it was unashamed and so close to the bone that she felt incredibly connected.

  It was doubly interesting, because she hadn’t come. He usually made sure she did, even before he entered her. But this time, no. It was fine. He’d given her exactly what she wanted. She felt amazingly satisfied even after he’d rolled to her side.

  “I’ll get up in a minute,” he said, panting as if he’d won a marathon.

  She kissed his shoulder. “Don’t move.” She got out of bed and went to the bathroom. On her way, she realized something else. They hadn’t used a condom.

  She wondered if she’d get pregnant, and how she’d feel about that. By the time she closed the bathroom door, she’d decided she didn’t know, and didn’t much care.

  * * * * * *

  Nate woke with a start at the knock on the door, and his weapon was in his hand before he realized it was already dark. He looked at Tam who was sitting up, drawing the covers over her naked breasts.

  He didn’t give a damn about being naked himself. He got up, went to the door and looked through the peephole. Then he pulled the blinds back a little and saw that it was Harper and she was alone.

  “Hold on a minute,” he said.

  She nodded.

  He smiled at Tam’s blinking confusion as he put away his gun. “It’s Harper. She’ll wait while we get decent.”

  “I’m always decent,” she said. “And sometimes I’m naked.”

  He laughed as he yanked his jeans on and then his T-shirt, purposely keeping his eyes off Tam. Even when he should know better, looking at her in the buff made him crazy.

  He wasn’t at all sure what had happened this afternoon. He hadn’t come that hard since that first time with her. She hadn’t come at all. What the hell?

  “Why are you just standing there?”

  He snapped out of his minifugue at Tam’s urgent whisper. “You ready?”

  “Yes. Go let her in.”

  The moment he opened the door, he knew something had happened. He pulled Harper in and before the door was shut he said, “What’s wrong?”

  Harper looked at Tam, then at the floor. “I hope we’re wrong.”

  Tam joined him, and he put his arm around her shoulder. Harper looked at her again, but this time, she didn’t turn away. “We saw it on the news. I wasn’t sure, but Kate said—”

  “Damn it, Harper,” Nate said, his anger rising along with his fear. “What the hell is going on?”

  “Tam, your parents are Joseph and Lorraine?”

  Instantly, Tam was trembling, her whole body, as if she’d been plugged into a current. “Why?”

  “They’ve been injured.”

  Tam looked up at him with wide, terrified eyes. It was just like the night he’d found her crouching in the dark, maybe worse.

  Without turning away, he spoke to Harper. “Injured how?”

  “There was an explosion at their house.”

  Tam’s eyes closed as her lips parted. She didn’t weigh much, so he was able to keep her standing with just the one arm.

  “Are they alive?” he asked.

  “They’re both in critical condition. I wrote down the hospital name in case you wanted it.”

  Tam’s hand went out to get the small piece of paper. He could feel her horror, her fear, her helplessness. And still, he put his hand over hers and brought it to her side.

  This time, he wasn’t able to hold her.

  Chapter 10

  Tam was in Christie and Boone’s room, but she couldn’t remember how she got there. The whole team was there, all of them whispering as if she were sick, as if she was the one in the hospital.

  Nate sat next to her, but when he tried to touch her, she flinched. She didn’t want his comfort or his explanations. She wanted to go home.

  “Tam?” Kate stood in front of her with a mug in her hand. “I made you some tea.”

  She didn’t want it, but she was too exhausted to explain, so she took it and put it on the side table. It was habit that made her say, “Thanks,” not gratitude.

  She hated these people. Every last one of them. They had no idea what it was like not knowing if her parents were alive or dead. To know they’d been injured because of her.

  “Isn’t there some way…?” Christie asked.

  “I’ve been thinking about that,” Seth said. “Maybe we could get a message to one of the hospital administrators. Tell them that Tam is undercover—”

  “You don’t think they’ve thought of that?” Nate asked. “They’ve thought of everything, and if they get so much as a hint that Tam is trying to make contact…”

  “She has to know how they are,” Christie said, her voice sharp and angry. “It’s not right.”

  Nate looked at his sister with grave eyes. “It can’t be done. Not yet. We’ll get through this, and then she’ll be free to go see them. Even then she’ll have to be careful. Her parents believe she’s dead.”

  “If it were Mom—”

  “We’d do the same thing. Christie, it’ll only be worse for them if Omicron thinks they know something. It’s just good it was on the news. Made public. Now that they’re in the hospital—”

  “I’m right here,” Tam said, stopping the futile conversation. “I know I can’t call them, okay? I know they might already be dead, and I can’t do a thing. I know all that, can’t you please stop talking about it?”

  The room got quiet and, perversely, that made things even worse. She wanted to walk, to run, to do anything except sit in this filthy motel. She was a scientist. And a fool. She’d been duped. Lied to. By everyone.

  “We’re so close, Tam.” Nate’s voice was calm, and it made her want to scream. “A few days, that’s all.”

  “They could be dead by then.”

  “So could a lot of other people.”

  “I don’t care,” she said. “About any of it.”

  “I know,” he whispered. “They’re counting on that. They’re trying to break you.”

  She stood up, surprising Nate. “They’ve succeeded, okay? They’ve won. I give up.” She turned around, glaring at whoever looked her way, then up to the microphones she prayed were in the walls, to the satellites spinning above the earth. “I give up,” she screamed, as loudly as she could. “Just stop it, please.” Her tears blinded her and her knees grew weak, but she needed them to hear. “Please!”

  She covered her face and wept. She wanted her momma, her papa. She wanted to go back in time, to throw the recruiter out on his ass, she wanted—

  A hand held her arm, and then she felt a sharp pinch in her shoulder. It was Harper with a needle. She jerked away. “What—”

  “It’s a sedative. You’ll sleep.”

  “Damn it. I don’t want to sleep.”

  “I’m sorry,” Harper said, and Tam saw that tears were running down her face, too.

  Nate came to her side, trying once more to hold her.


  “Don’t,” she said, twisting away. “Leave me alone. None of you understand.”

  Nate just nodded. “It’s okay. I won’t touch you. I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to.”

  She slapped him across the face. She hadn’t meant to, and instantly she wanted to take it back.

  He didn’t even move. Not a flinch, not a blink. He just kept looking at her with tortured eyes.

  That was it, all she could take. Everything was wrong, and it was all her fault.

  Then she was on the ground, but she couldn’t remember how she got there.

  * * * * * *

  “I hate to leave like this,” Seth said, keeping his voice low. Tam was passed out in Boone’s bed, but no one knew for how long, or how bad it would be when she woke up.

  “I know,” Harper said. She kissed him, then kissed him again. “We have to finish this. God knows I don’t want you to go into that place again. But it has to end. None of us can go on like this much longer.”

  He nodded, then looked past her to the closed bedroom door. “I thought it was bad enough that I couldn’t call home. My parents are fine.”

  Harper didn’t know what to say. She just wanted him safe. If she lost him…

  “All right,” he said, his voice firm and strong. Her soldier was back. “It’s time to lock and load. You be good and take care of them, okay?”

  She nodded. “I’ll do my best.”

  After one last kiss he headed out the door, followed closely by Boone and Cade. The men weren’t going into the chamber tonight, but they would still be in danger. They had to map the outside of the plant, to find all the electrical outlets, vents, phone lines. It would take them till just before dawn, as usual, but tonight, Harper knew, would crawl by. There would be no sleep. Not until they came back home.

  Harper watched them until the truck disappeared, then she closed the door. Vince held Kate on the couch. Christie sat on the floor by the bedroom door. Nate was inside with Tam, but he’d honored his words. He had taken the chair with him, and if she knew Nate, he wouldn’t budge until Tam was awake.

  Harper stared blindly at that warped door, wondering why she’d cried when she gave Tam the shot. It was so unlike her.

  Harper had no relationship at all with her parents. She didn’t miss them because they’d been gone since she was a kid. Her father in prison, her mother married to a man who had money, neither giving her a second thought.