by Lola Gabriel
“Do you want… a glass of water?”
“Stop being weird,” Holly chided. “Ugh, my dad is going to be so upset. But I suppose he’ll express it as anger, because alphas. Men, eh? But especially alphas.”
It occured to Rowan that maybe he should reveal that aspect of his life to Holly, now that they weren’t just one-lost-night friends. But it didn’t seem like the right moment.
“Was the guy awful?” he asked, clutching at straws.
“I think so. I don’t know. He’s gay, and he wanted me to be his beard and have his children… he thought he was doing me a favor ’cause who doesn’t want to marry an alpha.” Holly rolled her eyes, letting her head lol back into the couch cushions. “I can’t go home, Rowan.”
Rowan barely heard this. Rather, much more suddenly than he had intended, he said, “I am one. I mean, I’m an alpha. I’m alpha of Anchorage. That’s why my mom wants me to get married and stuff. I’m sorry.”
Holly had perked up. She was almost grinning at him. “You? My goodness, Rowan, you’re a dark horse. First the body and now the status. Well, I’m sorry I insulted your kind. Your rank.”
Rowan shook his head and sat beside Holly.
“That’s not what I meant!” he said. “I just meant… sorry I didn’t say it before. I like to forget, sometimes.” Holly lay a hand on Rowan’s back.
“Yeah,” she said. “Me too.” Then she rubbed his left shoulder. “Damn, you have terrible posture. Stand up straight if you want your pack to take you seriously!”
“Shut up.” Rowan shook her off. “What are you going to do?”
“What are you going to do, unmarried alpha of Anchorage, Alaska?” Holly deflected.
Rowan smiled, deciding to indulge her. Distract her. Hell, at least he wasn’t a woman. He felt bad for having that thought. But he was only being asked to choose someone… find someone, really. He was still in charge.
“I suppose I’m going to keep going on weekend getaways until I run into my soulmate,” he said. “I’ll get away from my mother and tell her it’s all in search of love.”
Holly grinned again. The tension she had walked in with seemed to be dissipating a little. “You should have stuck to the dating app instead of settling for me. Seattle could have been it!”
Rowan put an arm around her and gave her a half-hug. He squeezed her tight.
“You’ll do,” he said. “I’m very glad we met.” Holly made a mock puking sound.
“Wow, dude, the sentimentality.” But she smiled at him, and the smile went right to her lovely green eyes. They were silent for a few moments, both wondering what to say next. How to proceed with Holly’s dilema. Then she said, “Actually, I need to not go home for a while. Maybe I could come home with you? We could have a long engagement.”
Holly had one of her goading grins on, clearly waiting for Rowan to react with embarrassment or confusion. But he didn’t. To his utmost surprise, he found himself asking, “Do you think you could pass as a bear shifter for a while? Like, just don’t get too close to anyone and they’ll all assume, right?”
Now he’d gotten Holly. She looked at him with her mouth slightly open.
“Are you messing with me?”
Rowan shrugged. “I’m honestly not sure. I mean… it solves both our problems for a while, right?”
Holly nodded. “I get away until my father calms down. You make your mom happy until… what, we discover some deep incompatibility? Don’t you guys bond for life at first contact?”
“Sometimes people make mistakes,” Rowan replied, “misread things. It happens, you know? So, they can’t always tell. A big old crush might feel like imprinting if it’s mutual. I’ve never brought anyone home. Even when it turns out not to be quite right, it would give my mom hope.”
He was talking himself into it. What was he doing…? he looked at Holly, and she looked at him, biting her full bottom lip.
6
Holly
“I wonder when my dad will cut that card off,” Holly said, buckling her seatbelt.
“Probably when he sees how much you just transferred to an unknown Alaska USA account,” Rowan replied, also buckling up.
“Fair.” Holly nodded. “He probably gets alerts for transactions that large. But it’s better than you paying my way, or a charge for a flight to Anchorage. Maybe he’ll think I’ve been kidnapped, though…”
Rowan pulled his belt tighter.
“Yeah,” he said, “this is a… I was going to say stick up, but that’s bank robbers. Anyway, give me that in-flight magazine, I’ve got to cut out letters for this note I’m about to mail to your father.”
“We only brought a carry on.” Holly tried to look withering. “Where are your scissors?” Rowan held up his hands.
“I tried,” he said. “Guess we go back to plan A. It was pretty messed up, anyway.” He turned and smiled at her.
“We’re really doing this, huh?” she said, and he nodded.
“Seems like it,” he agreed. As the flight attendant began his demonstration of what to do in the case of an emergency, he leaned close to her ear and spoke quietly. “So, what’s all the werewolf business? Do you foam at the mouth and lose control on the full moon? Because I think there’s one in a couple of days. Do I have to tie you down?”
Holly raised her eyebrows.
“I mean, if you want to tie me down, Rowan…” He blushed, as she had intended him to. She could still tell he was definitely getting used to her, though. It was a pale rose, not a full-on beet red. “Everything’s just a bit more… intense… on the full moon. Either a good or a bad time to make decisions, no one’s quite sure. Heightened senses, etcetera. Don’t all shifters get it?”
The demonstration was over, and the plane was taxiing. Rowan shrugged. “I never noticed it, but I don’t spend a lot of time howling at the moon. I don’t really pay a lot of attention to it, either.”
Holly laughed. Rowan’s dorkiness was becoming so endearing. She elbowed him. “You’re a dingus. But we’ll go howl at the moon together this full moon, okay? What is it, tomorrow night?”
Rowan looked shocked. “You mean you can’t feel it approaching in your canines?”
Holly shook her head. “I had no sleep and an awful morning. Wake me up when we’re there.”
“Great!” Rowan said. “I can get back into my man book.”
Holly was asleep almost immediately. So deeply asleep, in fact, that she didn’t wake with the bounce of the landing. Rowan had to shake her shoulder.
“Hey, drooler, we’re here!”
Holly jumped. She’d been dreaming about him. Weird. Just a dream about some kind of quest or… It was fading already. She touched her face. “I was not drooling!”
“Made you check, though, eh?” Rowan stood up and shuffled out into the aisle.
“No one will believe we’re in love if we act this much like siblings!” Holly said, and Rowan pulled his carry-on case and her hastily assembled luggage—they had decided they needed it for authenticity—down from the baggage rack.
“Sorry, sweetheart,” he said.
Holly tried not to laugh as she said, “No problem, sweet stuff,” and blew him a kiss. Rowan passed her the bag full of new underwear and thrifted clothes, and his fingers were warm brushing hers. She took the bag and flung it over a shoulder.
“Ready?” she asked him. “And are you sure this is what you want to do?”
“Yeah,” Rowan said. “I think it’s going to work out. We’re both in binds, right? This is temporary reprieve, at least!”
They made their way out of the plane, and Holly was surprised to see a pretty standard airport. There was a chill in the air that there hadn’t been in Seattle, but it wasn’t a snowy white landscape. Just runways and a terminal. Beyond that were mountains, and they were dusted with white.
Rowan was watching her face. “You know it’s not always a winter wonderland here, right?”
How had he read her so incredibly easily?
&nbs
p; “Yes,” Holly answered. “I was just expecting… you know… a bit more excitement.” They were approaching the terminal, and to her surprise, Rowan took her hand.
“Don’t worry,” he told her, “my mom is picking us up. Excitement, here we come!” Rowan’s palm was a little dry. He had laced his fingers with hers, like they really were a couple.
“Seriously?” Holly tried not to look too shocked, in case Rowan’s mom was just on the other side of the automatic doors. Rowan squeezed her hand.
There was nothing but a short fence between arriving domestic passengers and the people waiting for them. A small, brunette woman wearing khaki pants and a sweater began rocking on her heels, almost jumping with joy, when she spotted Rowan and Holly.
“Oh, my goodness!” she squealed, embracing Holly before acknowledging her son. “You’re just as pretty as he said you were!” She held Holly at arm’s length to look her up and down.
Holly turned her head to look at Rowan, and he smiled. He was playing his part well, she supposed. Again, there was a rosy blush tickling his cheeks.
“No hug for me, Mom?” Rowan asked, and his mother clicked her tongue.
“Always, sweetheart,” she said and embraced him. Over his shoulder, she winked at Holly. When she let him go, she said, “I’m Miriam. I assume my son didn’t bother to prepare you with pesky details like my name?”
“He did not!” Holly grinned and took Rowan’s hand, kind of scooped it up. Miriam touched her son’s face.
“He’s the sweetest boy, but not always practical.” Holly tried to hold back her laughter.
“Right,” she said, “and he takes everything to heart.” She turned to him. “Don’t you, sweetie? I’ve seen you blush from hairline to toes.”
Rowan cleared his throat. “Is this visit going to be a full-on assault on me?”
Miriam had cheeky eyes. Chocolate brown, unlike her son’s blue ones. “I don’t know, Holly, is it?”
Holly shrugged. “Shall we keep him on his toes?”
“I already like you!” Miriam cried, squeezing Holly’s arm.
In the car, Miriam insisted that Holly sit up front with her.
“So,” she said, “you two know one another through Topher? When did you meet?”
“Yes,” Holly said, trying to control her voice. “Topher.” She turned back in her seat, taking Rowan’s hand and giving him ‘what the hell’ eyes. He put up three fingers and mouthed… something. Holly went with the safe route. “We met a couple of months ago. Was it two, three, sweetie?”
Rowan sounded incredibly relieved. “Three. Yeah, when I went down for that get-together Topher and his wife had.”
Holly let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding in.
“I was barely an acquaintance. I think they invited me out of pity, really, but… Well, look what happened!” She felt awful for this. Rowan’s mother seemed wonderful. But how could she back out now?
Miriam grinned into the rearview mirror. Holly still had Rowan’s hand. She didn’t mind having it, either. It was something of an anchor in this strange situation. The city was nice enough. It looked like many small, northern US cities. But the mountains in the background were beautiful, and maybe it was the coming moon, but she could smell the sea.
“I’m afraid Rowan still lives with me,” Miriam said. “I’m a needy old mother, what can I say? But he has a whole floor to himself. We built this house with a whole brood in mind, but that’s not how it turned out…”
They pulled up at a large, three-story house. Holly unbuckled her seatbelt and let go of Rowan’s hand finally.
“Well,” she said, “Rowan’s pretty great. I’m sure he’s enough.”
Miriam looked at her son. “Oh, he is.”
Rowan’s mother hadn’t been exaggerating. The whole top floor of the house was his. He had a bedroom, bathroom, and living room/office, all bright and with mountain views.
“Damn,” Holly said, “this is nice. Maybe I’ll go through with the marriage. Also, your mom is an angel.” Rowan dropped his bag and took Holly’s from her shoulder and put it on the bed.
“She is,” he agreed, “in small to medium quantities. I mean, I love her, but you heard her. They wanted a bunch of kids, and by now, a bunch of grandkids. Me living in the attic is not the dream.”
Holly threw herself onto the bed on her back, starfished. “Well, I hope you know this arrangement involves zero grandchildren for Miriam.”
Rowan snorted. “Got that. And what would they even be?”
Holly turned to look at him.
“They’d be cute!” she replied. “What else?”
7
Rowan
Rowan felt a little bad about how excited his mom was, but also… Well, he liked Holly being there. Meeting his mother, seeing his home. They got along together so naturally.
For dinner, his mom invited over her brother and his sons and her best friend Alice. Getting ready, Holly seemed tense.
“It’s okay,” Rowan said, “they’ll be eating and talking, not thinking about whether or not they sense you as a bear.”
“I know,” Holly said, tying up her hair in that fluid motion he had so liked when they met. “I just… I’m worried about my dad, and your mom, and what the heck we’re doing.” Then she pointed to her back, where her dress had buttons. “Could you?”
Rowan buttoned her up. Her skin was so soft under his fingertips when they brushed her. She squirmed. “Ro, that tickles! Ah!”
“Ro? I’m nicknamed now?”
Holly turned and smiled at him. “Guess so.”
Rowan couldn’t help himself.
“You look really great,” he told her. Finally, after all of Rowan’s awkward pink moments, Holly blushed.
“Shut up,” she said. “You also look fine.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment,” he said, tying his shoelaces, “as I assume it’s all I’ll ever get.”
“You’re damn right,” Holly said. “Come on, let’s not keep them waiting.”
When they walked into the dining room, all heads turned. Rowan’s stomach flipped, and for the first time, he really thought he might be doing a bad thing. But then Holly walked over to his Uncle Able and introduced herself, and within minutes, they were laughing about some detail of farming equipment he was shocked Holly was versed in. In fact, he realized he knew very little about her other than their shared romantic predicaments. He wanted to know, though.
Rowan’s mom grabbed him and got him pouring glasses of wine for everyone. As she handed him a second bottle of white, she squeezed his upper arm.
“You’re a dark horse, sweetie, but she’s so wonderful.” Rowan tried so hard not to blush, but his mother could see right through him. “Oh, that pink face. That’s when I know you really feel something,” she said.
He shook it off. A guilt blush was different from a lust blush; a love blush. Whatever. Not this.
“Okay, Mom,” Rowan said. “Play it cool, don’t scare her away.” His mother tutted.
“She’s fitting right in. Look at her, social butterfly. In fact, you could take a leaf!”
“I’m going to see if anyone needs a top up,” Rowan said, walking away very deliberately from his mother, who was still smiling.
Holly was stuck talking to one of his inane cousins. Rowan came up behind her and put a hand on her bare shoulder. Her skin was pale and soft, and he wanted to keep his hand there, but he didn’t.
Holly spilled her wine.
“Damn!” she cursed, jumping out the way of her own spill. “Well, at least it’s white. Sorry, babe, Dennis here was just telling me about his startup. What was it again, Dennis, reusable straws?”
Dennis shook his head. He was, somehow, always a little greasy looking. “No. Well, yeah, but straws you can drink from while you’re lying down!”
Holly reached back and gave Rowan a little pinch. He almost yelped. Then she said, “I get it. Makes so much sense. In this era of prestige television and bi
nge watching, who wants to be vertical!”
“Holly,” Rowan called her, “come and help me with the salad.”
In the hallway, Holly couldn’t contain her laughter. Through it, she managed, “It’s a good job you’re alpha, because the rest of your family…”
Rowan shushed her. “Keep it down! They’re supposed to like you. Anyway, Able’s okay, his kids just turned out… well, potentially a couple of sandwiches short of a full picnic.”
“Rowan.” Holly stared at him. “You’re so, so weird.”
“Not the first time I’ve been told that.” Rowan nodded his head. “Now come on, we have to produce a salad, because for some reason, I was specific about my totally made up excuse.” Holly followed into the kitchen.
“I like your house,” she said, taking in the large country style room. “And your mom. I’m jealous, actually.” She found a clear space on the kitchen island and hopped up, swinging her legs dangerously close to a collection of cookbooks. “She just loves you… wants you to be happy.”
“I know,” Rowan sighed. “And I want her to be happy. Hell, I would love to find the one person in the world who’s right for me. I’d love to have kids and teach them to… whatever it is parents do… but I can’t make that happen, not even for my mother.”
He hadn’t been looking at Holly as he said this, but down at the countertop. He was pressing a finger into the caulking around the tiles. Holly put her hand on his. It surprised him. And there was that little warm fizzle again. That shifter to shifter exchange, or that was what he’d thought in Seattle. He looked up and met her gaze. Her face was unusually serious as she said, “You will, you know, be happy and all that… stuff.”
Rowan smiled, “I hope so. We’re not good at talking about mushy stuff, are we?”
“No.” Holly shook her head, eyes still on him, hand still on his. “But hey, I’m trying.”
“Me too,” Rowan replied. “And I’m sorry your father, your parents, are putting the pack ahead of you. It’s rough. I mean, I understand making hard decisions as an alpha, but—”