by Lola Gabriel
Rowan stood, grabbing Holly’s hands, and pulled her up to him, holding her. He kissed her, and she was salty and damp from crying.
“Hey,” he told her, “hey, we made someone.” Holly laughed.
“I mean… I’m making them still.” At this Rowan glanced down at Holly’s midriff and slipped a hand in between them.
“Yeah, he said. So clever.”
Holly rolled her eyes. “Basic biological process.”
Rowan kissed her again. “When other people do it. When we do it, magic.”
Holly laughed again. “You’re gross, Ro.”
Rowan stepped back from her, keeping his hands on her hips. “So, this is sooner than we would have… uh… I guess, planned? Or, found out if it was even possible for us to have a child. But we would want them, right? We do want them?”
“How gross do I look?” Holly asked, wiping her face with the sleeves of the hoody she was wearing.
“I mean, not as perfect as usual…”
Holly hit him. But she was smiling. “Rowan, you’re afraid of babies.”
“No way,” Rowan protested, shaking his head. “Just Chloe. Have you not noticed the evil in her eyes?” He grinned, then looked worried. “If I said that too loud, I hope they know it was a joke. But I’m not scared of babies, I’m just new to them. It’s amazing to look at Chloe and see two of my best friends in her.”
Holly hugged him. “You don’t hate me?”
Rowan almost laughed. “I love you, idiot. I love both of you now, I guess.”
“You guess?” She looked at him, eyebrows raised.
“I might have to get used to the idea for just a second.”
“Yeah.” Holly nodded. “I’ve had a couple of days of suspecting, but same. Also, we have a lot of other things to worry about… like my brother saying he’d been planning to come into Anchorage to get me, and a potential battle. And also telling your mom I’m a wolf. Also I guess other people.”
At that moment, there was a knock on the door. Eve had a tray of mugs. Behind her, Xander had Chloe, swaddled for sleep but clearly wide awake.
“Can we?” Eve asked, and Holly and Rowan both nodded. Eve put down the tray of tea.
“I tried to get her down,” Xander said, “but I think she feels all the drama.” Rowan took a deep breath.
“Can I say hi?” he asked. He tried not to notice how everyone else in the room smiled as he took the baby in the crook of his arm, muttering, “Look out for her head,” to himself.
16
Holly
When Holly woke, Rowan was sitting up in bed, pretending to read a book.
“You still haven’t finished that?” she asked.
Rowan put down The Old Man and the Sea. “I finished it ages ago, but it was the only book in this room, and I didn’t want to wake you up. And also, I wanted to look at you.”
Holly rolled to face him. “Do you know how creepy that is?”
Rowan shrugged and scooted down in the bed to be closer to her. “Creepy, or romantic?”
“Creepy!” Holly cried. “No question. I always knew you were a weirdo.” Rowan pulled her toward him and kissed her.
“Your weirdo,” he said. “You’re stuck with me now.”
Holly smiled at the small kisses he was peppering her face with. “I think I was already stuck with you. This is just an extra complication.”
He nuzzled her, and as much as she wanted to melt into him, melt into bed, stay there all morning, she knew they couldn’t.
“Hey,” she said gently, “don’t you have an important meeting to arrange?”
“Don’t want to,” he said into her neck, snaking a leg between the two of hers and pressing into her. She let him kiss her neck a little, but when his hands started exploring below the covers, she giggled.
“Ro, we’ll never get out of bed…”
He teased her for just a moment more until she yelped a little, and then he said, “Fine!” and swung his legs off the bed. Holly put her arms around him and kissed his back.
“Good alpha,” she said. “See to your responsibilities.”
Rowan laughed at her. “Oh, you’ll never take me seriously, will you?”
“Nah,” she said, letting him go. “I can’t have you getting too big for your boots, can I?”
“The chance would be a fine thing,” Rowan said, getting up. Holly admired him as he dressed, wondering how she had ever seen him as just a friend. She loved his slim waist and broad shoulders, the way the muscles in his back were visible; his unruly bed hair that he had to spend ages flattening down every morning.
Holly stood tall and stretched. Half dressed, Rowan turned.
“You don’t have to get up yet,” he said.
Holly laughed. “Why, thank you, but I want to get up.”
“Aren’t you tired?” Rowan asked. “Or… something?” He was chewing his lip, concerned.
Holly was pulling on her clothes. “I’m still the same person as I was yesterday, Rowan. I’m not made of porcelain now.”
“Right,” Rowan said. “I know. Today will be stressful, though.”
“Yeah, tell me about it!” Holly pulled on a dress over her tights. “But I was almost kidnapped by my own brother in the dark and freezing woods yesterday, I doubt today will be worse.”
“I honestly don’t know,” Rowan sighed. “This morning we will tell my mother, and this afternoon, we tell everyone who was out last night. And then… I guess we tell everyone.”
Holly looked down at herself. Her boobs hurt, and they were kind of straining at the dress.
“Crap,” she said, “guess I’m not the same person. Bigger boobs. And I’ll definitely have to wear something else to break the news of my various… conditions to your mother and your pack.”
Now Rowan was looking at her boobs. “They are!”
Holly pulled the dress off and searched for something else.
“Too bad you don’t get anything out of it,” she said. “They hurt like hell.”
“I wasn’t even thinking that,” Rowan said with the slightest of blushes as he started working on his hair. In jeans and a striped shirt, her hair tied in a bun, Holly took a deep breath.
“Right. Well I’ll leave you to your beauty regime. I’m going downstairs.”
“I’ll be two minutes,” Rowan called after her. On the stairs, she grinned. He’d be at least ten.
It was strange to have learned one another’s rhythms so quickly, but it probably had something to do with imprinting. It was like everything had sunk deep. The little sighs Rowan let out in his sleep, the best ways to make him uncomfortable, and all the things he did when he was. How he was secretly vain, always stirred his coffee three times, even when it was just black… The dumb routine stuff felt old and new at the same time.
Eve was in the kitchen making coffee.
“Morning!” she said. “Did you sleep okay?”
“Strangely enough,” Holly answered, “I did. Maybe all the adrenaline of the evening. I’ve been lying awake the last few nights, but I was out like a light.”
Eve shrugged, picking up the coffee pot.
“Maybe you got some things off your chest,” she said. “Coffee?”
“Actually, the smell is making me want to hurl,” Holly said. “I’m going to stay on this side of the room and drink orange juice.”
Eve grimaced at her. “Do not miss that. But… maybe you are on your people’s timeline, if you’ve got all that joy already. Are your breasts…?”
Holly nodded. “It’s like they’re on fire. But maybe let’s not worry Rowan with the possibility of a baby in six weeks. I don’t think he needs that on his plate.”
“Agreed,” Eve said. “Speaking of which, Chloe is with her grandma again this afternoon. Do you know what the plan is for this meeting?”
Holly shook her head. “I don’t know if he does. We’re talking to his mom this morning, and I think that’s kind of the top priority in his mind.”
“Oh, cra
p.” Eve sat down at the kitchen table, keeping herself and her coffee away from Holly. “Are you leading with being a wolf, or her being a grandma?”
“That’s the big question,” Holly said. She suspected she would do most of the talking, anyway, as that seemed to be how it went. She was about to say as much to Eve when Rowan walked in.
“Morning,” he said. “Eve, may I have a cup of coffee?”
“Your mom will have coffee,” Holly said. “Shouldn’t we just get this over with?” She was hoping that a brisk walk would cure her nausea so it wouldn’t be so obvious by the time they got to Miriam’s.
Rowan looked at her like a little boy.
“Oh, you were trying to put it off?” she asked.
“Just a little,” he confessed. “Like, coffee and a slice of toast.”
“Rowan,” Eve said, “rip off the band aid. And FYI, I’d lead with the wolf stuff. She won’t be able to stay angry when the prospect of her only kid giving her a grandchild is raised. Anyway, she likes Holly, right? You’re on the most solid ground you could be.”
On the way to Miriam’s, Rowan spoke. “So, you talked to Eve?”
Holly felt a pang of guilt, and then annoyance. “I can’t be friends with your friends?”
“Of course you can,” Rowan said. “I want you to be comfortable here. And I want you to like my friends. Know them, be friends with them. I’ve never done this before, is all, and I don’t know the rules, and what’s you-and-me info, and—”
“Eve is a mother.” Holly took his hand. “And a new one. She’s going to help me. Help both of us, okay? And she’s an amazing, badass woman, don’t you think?”
“Yeah,” Rowan said with a smile. “I was always amazed Xander made her fall in love with him. They’re happy, though.”
“So will we be!” Holly cried. “I mean, you know, we are, but, when all this… when all this is over.”
All too quickly, they were outside Miriam’s front door. Rowan turned Holly to him and kissed her.
“I love you,” he said. “Very much. Both of you.” Half of Holly wanted to roll her eyes, the other half wanted to push him against the fence post and make out.
In the end, she just said, “I love you too. Very much.”
They walked up to his mother’s door hand in hand. She answered seconds after the bell.
“Oh, thank goodness!” Miriam exclaimed, embracing Rowan and then Holly. “Rowan, you did a terrible job last night! You scared me! I’ve barely slept! What on earth happened?” She walked away from them into the kitchen. “I’ve been stress baking since six, and there’s coffee on.”
The walk had not worked to alleviate Holly’s nausea.
“Can I just grab a water?” she asked, and Miriam immediately produced a bottle from the fridge for her.
“What happened?” she repeated. “No lies or half-truths, please!” As she said this, she placed scones in front of both of them. Rowan took a deep breath.
“Mom,” he began, “there are some things we need to tell you.” Miriam gave him a withering look.
“This one always needs a build up,” she said. “I got that, sweetheart. What the hell is going on?”
Holly looked at Rowan, unsure if he would be offended if she proceeded. He looked determined, so she left it to him.
“Holly isn’t from a bear pack down south,” he said. “And we didn’t meet a couple of months ago through Topher.”
Miriam’s face told Holly she had worked this much out already.
“Her pack sent people after her,” Rowan continued. “They’ve sent her brother after her, because, well, they’re wolf shifters. In the pacific northwest. We met in Seattle. But you have to understand, this is real, we imprinted, we can’t undo it, and we wouldn’t want to.”
Miriam’s face was suddenly stony. She stood.
“Right,” she said. “How do you think your father would feel? How will your pack feel?”
“I don’t know, Mom,” Rowan said, “but I know how I feel.”
Miriam put her hand to her head. “There’s a reason we’ve stayed separate, you know, the various shifters. There are old, old wounds we can’t heal. Wars much worse than those over territory between related packs. I understand you’re in love, but what is this going to do?”
Rowan looked at Holly, and she had no idea how to help him. She just stared back. Miriam had turned to pour coffee with shaking hands. She poured three cups and placed one in front of Rowan, one in front of Holly, and kept one for herself.
The stress and the nausea together were too much for Holly. She jumped down her stool and ran to the sink. Mostly, she just heaved. There was nothing in her stomach. Then she rinsed her mouth out with a palmful of water.
“Sorry,” she said. “Coffee.”
Miriam looked from Rowan to Holly’s coffee cup to Holly.
“Oh,” she muttered, “no. No, no, no. I was the same when I was pregnant with Rowan. You aren’t…?” Rowan opened his mouth but made no noise. Holly just nodded.
Miriam, to the surprise of both of them, balled her hands into fists. She was still wearing her sky-blue pajamas, which were covered in flour.
“Damn it!” she cursed. “How could you be so stupid?” Holly was getting worried, ready to bolt if she had to. Even Rowan had stood up. And then Miriam was crying. She walked over to Holly and enveloped her in a hug. “Oh, this makes it so much harder!” she sobbed. “The poor baby! How do we convince the pack about this…?”
Rowan looked as lost as he had for a while. “You’re not… mad?”
Miriam looked at him as if he was insane.
“You’ve found your mate!” she cried. “How could I be mad? I’m scared, you silly boy! And a little baby… a baby who could be wolf or bear… I mean, talk about throwing more than one thing at the pack.” Then she looked at Holly. “Are you okay? How are you feeling? How long is it for you? Do you need anything?”
“I’m fine,” Holly said, shaking her head. And then, “Actually, maybe plain toast?”
Miriam busied herself making toast, occasionally tutting or wiping her eyes. Holly and Rowan sat next to one another on island stools, hand in hand, squeezing them, confused by this reaction. When Miriam had made about ten slices of toast, she got butter and knives. Then she cleared away the coffee hurriedly. She hopped back up onto her stool.
“So,” she began. “Do you have a plan?” Rowan and Holly looked at one another.
“In what way?” Holly asked.
“Well,” Miriam said, “I assume your family is unhappy, and a lot of this pack will be unhappy. How are we dealing with that?”
Rowan made some unsure noises and then said, “We’re meeting later. It looks like there may be… conflict. But we have to do it, Holly and I—”
“Yes, of course it has to happen.” Miriam waved a hand dismissively. “Just, win, please. And try talking if you can. Your father is an alpha, Holly?” Holly nodded. “Will he abandon his grandchild? Leave them fatherless?”
Holly went all cold at this idea, and tears came to her eyes. Miriam reached out a hand to take Holly’s.
“The father I know wouldn’t,” Holly answered, “but I’ve never seen him in battle. I didn’t think he would do this. And my brother, I’ve no idea what he’s capable of. He’s always had a temper, wanted to be the boss. But he was scary, when he tried to take me. He… he terrified me.” Now Holly was crying. “Crap,” she hiccupped. “I don’t normally cry this much…”
“It’s okay,” Miriam assured her, and Rowan had a hand on her back. “What do you have to do?” Miriam asked her son.
“I have to… we have to meet with everyone who came out with us the other night. They’re my closest friends. Allies, I guess, now. And then the council?”
“Right,” Miriam said. “Use the basement of the church. I’ll get the key.”
“Church?” Rowan asked, shocked.
“Yes,” his mother replied, going to a drawer full of batteries and envelopes. “The bell tower
is how we summon to battle, so we have to have a church, and beneath the church is the most secure room in the city. You must know this. The war room, if you will. I believe your father only used it for card games and the occasional sensitive meeting. But mostly cards. Where is it…? Ah!” Miriam pulled out a large, rusted key. “The entrance is beneath the stairs to the bell tower. Looks like a cupboard. Your father really should have shown you. I suppose he thought he had time…” Miriam sighed and patted some of the flour off her pajamas. She handed her son the key. “Be careful,” she said.
17
Rowan
The church was cold as ice and smelled damp. Rowan had only ever come here a few times with his father, on official duties. He remembered the rules of the clock-tower call to arms, vaguely, but there was no exam for becoming alpha. Suddenly, he was mad at his father for not sticking around longer. He reached behind him for Holly’s hand and caught it as she stepped through the door.
“Wow, it’s cold in here,” Holly said. “Does anyone use it?”
“Barely,” Rowan said. “Shifters don’t, obviously. I think some of the… others… humans did, but not really now.” Holly pointed to a small door.
“There?” she asked. “Even I’ll have to duck.”
“Let’s see…” They walked through the echoey brick church. Rowan half expected his footsteps to kick up dust. But the church probably had a cleaner, at least. The key fit and turned. The lock clicked.
“We’re in,” Holly said. They squeezed themselves through the door and found they were on a rickety staircase.
“Be careful,” Rowan warned her.
“You be careful,” Holly retorted, but she put a hand on his shoulder in front of her. Rowan felt around for a light switch, but Holly clicked the light on with a chord that had been hanging in front of her face. The bulb buzzed. It illuminated wooden stairs, cobwebs, and at the bottom of the stairs, a large room.
“This is crazy,” Rowan said when they reached it. “I should have known this was here…” In the center of the room was a large table surrounded by high-backed chairs. The walls were bare brick, and there was a liquor cabinet in the corner. Rowan laughed.