by Lola Gabriel
Holly had to bite back tears, as well as the childish urge to hug a parent and tell them everything. Instead, she smiled weakly.
“Of course I’ll look after him,” she said. “Always.”
“Good,” Miriam said, stepping back. “He needs it sometimes.”
And then Rowan was calling Holly from the hall. She smiled at Miriam again and turned. Rowan was pulling his boots on and had hers out for her, too.
“Are you ready, Hol?” he asked. Holly nodded and sat down next to him to pull on her boots. When they were beside one another, he gently butted her with the side of his head. “Love you,” he said. Holly stopped tying her boots and turned his head to kiss him.
“I love you too,” she said. “Don’t do anything stupid, okay?”
“As if I ever would.” Rowan smiled, pressing his forehead to hers. Holly’s stomach was churning, a mixture of nausea and nerves. But she stroked Rowan’s face anyway.
“Sure.” Holly rolled her eyes. “Tell your mom you love her and will see her later before we go out the door, okay?”
The shifters met at a parking lot a little out of town, and Rowan gave everyone vague quadrants to explore.
“They look like badly prepared hikers,” Holly said. “Wandering around and aimless, brand new gear.” The heavy set, bearded man Holly was pretty sure had introduced himself as Isaac laughed.
“We know that look around here,” he said. “Get them every summer.”
“Right,” Rowan said, “but these ones are… well, bad new and not even putting anything into the local economy.”
Holly smiled at Rowan, then addressed everyone else again. “If you see faces, if you see anyone at all, try to remember key features. I might be able to identify them.”
Getting in their cars and driving in three different directions was anticlimactic. In Rowan’s car, Holly held his hand. Once they were on the dirt track, she really thought she might be sick, but she just breathed steadily and cracked the window.
“Warm in all this gear,” she said. Rowan didn’t reply. She could feel the tension in his body from over in the passenger seat. She wished she could take him in her arms and calm him down, help that tension melt away. But it was there for a reason.
They were heading out to near the cabin, which Holly thought her father’s men would still be watching. When they reached the fork that led to it, Rowan turned off the headlights. He was driving slowly, trying to simultaneously be as quiet as possible and keep to the path in the dark. He slipped his hand from Holly’s to concentrate on driving. Eve and Xander had taken the other fork and were heading a couple of miles further along.
Their dimmed lights quickly disappeared into the trees. There was half a moon but plenty of stars. Their eyes were adjusting. All Holly could hear in the car was their breathing and the gentle hum of the engine.
Rowan pulled into a passing place away from the cabin. They got out and tried to close the car doors as quietly as they could. Now that they were out here, Holly wasn’t sure exactly what they were doing.
“Do we just wander around?” she whispered to Rowan. He put a hand on the small of her back and leaned in to reply. “They’ll have someone watching the cabin. We just have to move quietly, surprise them. Or, even better, not be seen.”
Every snap of a twig underfoot was heartstopping. Holly half-tiptoed after Rowan, occasionally putting a hand out to touch him, to show him she was still there. Every time they heard a noise that wasn’t them, the couple froze. Their breath was ragged in these moments. But there was always the noise of a bird or the shuffle of snow falling from evergreen branches, and they could carry on.
Finally, after what seemed like an hour, Holly saw the outline of the cottage. It was all dark, obviously, a darker shape in the gray-lit trees.
“Stay here,” Rowan breathed in her ear. Preempting her argument, he added, “Just for a moment. I’m going to look and then we can flank it, okay?”
Holly took his hand, squeezed it. She kissed his cold cheek. He turned his head and kissed her full on the lips.
“Off you go,” she murmured. She was concentrating only on Rowan, on his slinking figure just visible moving toward the building.
When the thick-gloved hands grabbed her, Holly would have screamed, but one quickly moved to her mouth. She bit down, but the ski-glove filled her mouth, and she got no skin or flesh. She was being held tight around the middle, dragged deeper into the forest. She tried to turn her head to see who it was who had her. She could have shifted right then, but this might be her only chance to work out exactly who was after them, if it was her father or one of the other pack leaders. All the same, Holly dragged her heels, her thick-soled walking boots hindering their progress.
When they reached a clearing, the man who had her threw her unceremoniously toward someone else, who grabbed her shoulder. Instinctively, Holly scrunched herself up, protecting her middle, but no one hit her.
“Talk about making a fuss,” a voice said, and she didn’t need the flashlights to know who it was.
“Arlan?” she demanded as he flicked on the light in his hand, and the three men surrounding her did the same. Holly looked around. They were three of Arlan’s best friends, who had never liked her much. Arlan had never exactly been a sweet or protective big brother. “What are you doing here?” Holly asked, panting a little from holding her legs down and being dragged half a mile.
“Coming to get you, squirt.” he said. “You’ve caused a hell of a lot of trouble, but come back now and Eli’s kid will still take you. Our fathers have been hashing out the details all this time you’ve been gone. We were about to come and get you, but I suppose you saved us the trouble.”
Holly had a horrible thought. “Was it you watching on the full moon?”
Arlan gave a melodramatic shiver. “No way.”
He pointed to one of the flashlight carriers. Roy, Arlan’s most odious follower. Roy smiled at her. “Quite the goer, aren’t you, Holly? Didn’t expect it from you.”
“Roy,” Arlan said. “What have I told you about saying that shit around me?”
Holly crossed her arms, feeling much more confident and less afraid now that she was facing off against her own brother.
“They can say it when you aren’t around?” Arlan shrugged.
“You’re the one who put on the show,” he said. “Your problem, hardly mine.”
“Thanks,” Holly said. “Supportive as ever.”
“I’m trying to save you and your little boyfriend,” Arlan said. “You’re lucky it’s me that found you and that dad could be diplomatic with Eli. You made a real damn mess, Holly.”
“I’m not marrying that man,” Holly said, standing up straighter. “Or coming back. I’m happy here.”
“Yeah?” Arlan asked, laughing. “They know what you are?”
Holly’s stomach flipped at this. But she stayed standing tall. “I’m not coming home, Arlan.”
There was a long silence, like her only brother was waiting for her to give in. She didn’t budge.
Holly could feel her brother’s goons behind her. They were waiting for something, too, their breathing coming quick and shallow. It hit her a moment before her brother opened his mouth to say, “I didn’t want to have to do this,” and nodded to his boys.
She was halfway through her shift by the time he got to the end of his sentence, and when three men behind her stepped forward, ropes in hand, she had all four paws on the floor, and she leapt away just as they lunged.
Looking back as she bounded through the trees, Holly saw the confusion she had caused. Roy was tangled in his own rope, and her brother was shouting after her.
“You’re making a mistake, Holly! This is bigger than you now!” He had always been one for melodrama.
Holly was running the wrong way. She had no idea where she was going. She weaved through the trees as much as she could, vaguely heading down the hill to find the road to follow. She could see now, and her paws landed almost silently in t
he needles and undergrowth. When she felt like she was far enough away, she stopped for a moment. She sat, looking around. She had to find Rowan. Could she go around where her brother had been? Would they all be shifted by now? Could they spare those winter clothes?
She tried to quiet her human mind, let the animal take over for a moment—smell the air. There was a lot going on. It was hard… but she found her. And over to the right, a quarter of a mile away, there was a friend. She didn’t know who, but maybe she had to risk it. Because the wolf knew something else as well. Holly’s vague, unwanted suspicions were correct: she was pregnant.
Holly jumped up and continued running toward whoever it was who was close. Very soon, she found that she had leapt silently in front of Eve. Eve, her hood up, flashlight in her hand, stepped back. Her eyes flashed in decision making. Did she shift now? Or just back away from this wolf?
Holly held up a paw, the most human gesture she could think of. She put her head to one side and let out a little grumble. Eve took a step toward her, staring at her hard. Holly was panting, returning Eve’s gaze.
“Oh,” Eve said. “Crap! Is that… Holly?” Holly wagged her wolf tail. “Well, now I get it,” Eve said. “Look, our car isn’t far. Shift and you can put my coat on.” Eve slipped out of her top layer. “Do you want me to close my eyes?” she asked, but Holly was already shifting.
She took the coat. She was breathless from the running. “Where’s Xander? We need to go. It’s my brother. My brother’s here.”
“Okay,” Eve said, asking no more questions. “Down here, watch your feet.” A little of the wolf night-vision stuck around for a few minutes. Holly hopped over obstacles, and the car came into view. “Get in,” Eve told her. “You’ll freeze to death.” Then she opened the trunk and moved stuff around.
Holly’s teeth were indeed chattering, and she could barely feel her feet. She got in the passenger seat.
“Do you have the—?” But Eve had already let off the flare.
“Come on, come on, come on, come on,” she was muttering, but it took Xander only seconds to come bursting out the trees.
“Are you okay?” He took Eve in his arms. She pushed him away.
“Get in the back,” she said. “Come on, we have to go. We can explain later.”
15
Rowan
All of the other cars were in the lot when Rowan squealed in. He jumped out and looked around. “Where’s Holly? I waited, but she didn’t come. Is she…?”
Eve pointed to her and Xander’s Volvo, which Holly was emerging from, wearing the coat and a car blanket, still shivering. Rowan ran over to her and put his arms around her.
“I thought—” Holly was crying into his waterproof jacket. He kissed her damp face. “What happened, Hol?”
Eve put a hand on Rowan’s back. “No time, Rowan. We’re taking Holly back to our place. Everyone else, go home, we’ll reconvene tomorrow. Rowan, you go and tell Miriam you’re okay, and then come and meet us, all right?”
Rowan nodded silently. He was weak with fear.
“Right, everyone,” he said, “you heard Eve, get yourselves home, sleep. See you at… I’ll text you all where to meet tomorrow.” He couldn’t think, couldn’t imagine where would be safe or that anywhere would feel safe. He turned to kiss Holly again. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”
And he practically sprinted to his car. He watched everyone leave and tried to calm down. His hands were shaking. He’d gone back to tell Holly it looked clear to get closer, and she’d just been gone. At first, he thought she’d been annoyed and gone on without him, but the longer he couldn’t find her, the more he’d begun to panic, and the less he could think straight. He’d been noisy, he was sure, clattering and crashing around the dark forest trying to catch sight of her, whisper-shouting her name.
Then there had been an emergency flare, and he knew that if she’d seen it, too, she would be at the car. And she wasn’t. And the flares could mean anything.
Rowan let himself lay his forehead on the cool steering wheel for a few moments, then tried to get his breathing back to normal as he drove home. He street parked and unlocked the door. He knew his mom would be up, and she was, sitting at the kitchen island reading the paper. She smiled as he came in.
“You’re okay! Thank goodness.” She made a pause. “Where’s Holly?”
Rowan took long strides to hug his mom, who was now standing. “She’s okay. A bit shaken up. She’s gone with Xander and Eve, and I’m going, too. We have to talk about some stuff. I promise I’ll fill you in. I just wanted you to know we’re all okay.”
Miriam didn’t even have time to reply before Rowan was back at the front door.
* * *
Xander opened their door at the first knock and let him in.
“Living room,” he said.
“Thanks.” Rowan turned to the first door on the right, just now pulling off his gloves and scarf. Holly was sitting by the fire, wearing Eve’s hoody, sweats, and fuzzy socks. The sweats were far too long and rolled up. She had a blanket over her shoulders. She looked up at him as he walked in.
“I’m okay,” she said, smiling weakly. Rowan kneeled down and pressed his face into her lap, then her chest, and leaned up to kiss her.
“What happened? I was so scared.”
“It was my brother and some of his horrible friends—more like followers—out there. They dragged me away. It was… I mean, it was my brother, so I was less scared at first, but they were going to take me away. I had to shift.”
Rowan’s eyes went to Eve and Xander.
Holly took a deep breath. “I ran into Eve. I mean, I could smell her, so I ran to her.”
Xander was standing awkwardly, looking like he didn’t know what to do with his hands.
“Eve told me,” he said. Rowan looked at Eve.
“Yeah,” she confirmed. “I saw. I didn’t know this was possible.”
Holly’s voice was still a little quiet as she said, “Neither did we.”
“It is, though,” Rowan stood up. He was ready to be on the defensive.
Xander held up his hands. “We know.”
“We’ve never seen you like this, Rowan,” Eve added. “It’s clearly real. Just… unexpected. And, well, it won’t go down well, will it?” Rowan felt his jaw tensing. “Rowan, I’m not judging this… you. I just mean. I think you need a plan.”
Rowan had a hand on Holly’s shoulder. She put her hand on his, and her fingers were still cold. “Ro, my brother isn’t going away. Or, he probably is, but more of them will come back. They still want me to marry—”
“That asshole,” Rowan finished.
“Yup,” Holly said. Rowan looked at his friends.
“That bit wasn’t a lie,” he said, “the bit about being married off.”
“Right,” Xander said. “And how big are these packs? How… angry?”
Holly sighed, rolled her shoulders, and pushed back her hair, as if she was tying it up, and then she realized her scrunchy was ripped up somewhere in the woods.
“All four together about the size of Anchorage,” she answered. “Very angry, if my brother is anything to go by. We have rules for battle over property… which I suppose includes me. But I don’t know if that extends to war with bears. Any of the four alphas is allowed to call a stop for discussion if they fear a horrible loss, or whatever. One of them is my dad, so I guess… I guess I could talk to him?”
“If you go near him, you’ll just be grabbed, surely,” Eve said.
Holly nodded and glanced at her. “Except they won’t want me now. At least, I don’t think so. I’m pregnant. With… a half—”
“Woah!” Eve cried. Rowan’s head was spinning. “Don’t talk like that. It’s your child!” Holly saw Eve glance at Rowan. Rowan couldn’t respond to the glance; he couldn’t move. Holly still didn’t look at him. “You knew when you shifted?” Eve asked.
“Yeah,” Holly semi-squeaked. Eve smiled.
“Me too, with Chloe.” Again, s
he glanced at Rowan. “Holly,” she asked, “how long is pregnancy for wolf shifters?” Holly put her head in her hands.
“Two months,” she said into her palms. “About that.”
“Okay,” Eve said. “Well, for us, it’s about five. So, perhaps you have all that time.”
There was silence for a moment, and Xander, who had said nothing for some time, said too loudly, “I’m going to get Chloe from Mom. It’s late, but…”
“Good idea, Xander,” Eve said. “I’m going to go and make some tea for everyone.” Both halves of the couple left the room, Eve quietly shutting the door behind her. Again, Rowan knelt beside Holly. He put his hands on hers, where they were covering her face. Her fingers were damp with tears. He pried them apart as gently as he could.
“Are you…”
“Yeah, I’m sure. I knew when I was a wolf. You heard Eve, that’s—”
“Okay!” Rowan interjected. “I’m sorry, it just seems like the thing to say.”
“Well, it isn’t!”
“I see that now.” Rowan was stroking her damp palms. He was trying to stay calm and measured and not puke the maelstrom of emotions whirling around him onto her. Holly needed him to stay calm, he thought. She needed him to be logical. “I didn’t even know we could,” he said.
“Did you know we could imprint? Because I sure didn’t.” Then Holly started crying again. “I’m sorry,” she apologized, “we should have been careful, but it was just so… I was so wrapped up in you, I didn’t even think… and the full moon, the forest…”
Rowan smiled. He couldn’t help himself.
“It was then?” he asked. “The first time?”
“Yeah,” Holly said, trying to wipe her face with her sleeve, though tears were still coming. “We haven’t been so reckless since, have we? Anyway, I’ve been feeling kind of sick, and that makes sense for the timing. For wolf shifters, so I don’t know how much time we have.”