‘Your ability to focus on other things will improve when you get your hearing aid.’ Raina’s tone was matter-of-fact, but the look in her eyes...
It was the look that could make him forget about everything else and believe that there was nothing else in the world but her. No sound but the sound of her voice. No feeling that didn’t emanate from her touch...
‘Yeah. That’s what my audiologist says. I’m not getting my hopes up too much.’
She nodded, thoughtfully. ‘We should have gone somewhere quieter to talk.’
‘I heard what I needed to hear. And I have to get used to functioning in any situation.’
‘So you’re throwing yourself in at the deep end?’
Alistair was about to protest that he was doing nothing of the sort, and that he could hear her perfectly well now. But that was because Raina was doing exactly what he usually had to ask people to do—facing him and speaking clearly. She’d always given him what he’d needed...
And he hadn’t given her what she’d needed. He’d let her go because someone else could give her the family that she’d so wanted and that he just hadn’t been ready for. But now, even if he was struggling to find his place in a world that suddenly seemed strange and remote, he could give her something.
‘I want you to go back to the office. Ask to see Heidi Walker, she’s Gabriel’s and my assistant. Give her your application and ask her to pass it to Gabriel to read this evening. I’ll give him a call later.’
‘That can wait until tomorrow, Alistair. I need to get you home first.’
He was already beginning to shiver in the afternoon sun, and despite himself Alistair wanted Raina to make a fuss of him. But he’d already revealed more than he wanted her to know, and he just wanted her to go now, before he was tempted to let anything else slip.
‘Pass me the envelope. And do you have a pen?’
Raina shot him a look that made it very clear that her compliance didn’t mean she agreed, and plunged her hand into her bag, producing a plastic ballpoint. She balanced her application on the top of her bag to provide a makeshift writing surface and Alistair scribbled a note to Heidi, trying not to get any drips onto the envelope.
She was staring at him dumbly, clearly about to argue with him. But there was no point in listening to Raina tell him that she wouldn’t leave while he was wet through, bleeding and confused by the sounds around him. They were the exact reasons he wanted her to go.
‘The police officer came over while you were with Jamie, and he’s radioed for a car to take me home.’
‘But...’ Raina wasn’t giving up that easily. She had to, though, because if The Watchlight Trust was going to be able to help her daughter, then their relationship had to be completely professional. All about the little girl’s needs and not his.
‘Go, Raina.’ He spoke quickly, before he had a chance to change his mind. ‘I want you to go.’
* * *
There had been moments when Alistair’s mask of self-reliance had slipped. When the thought that he wanted her there, with him, had thundered through Raina’s head. But now he was cool, and more than a little commanding.
He could protest that he was all right as much as he wanted. It was basic medical necessity to clean a cut that had been submersed in dirty water, and he could like it or not. If he didn’t like it he could jump straight back into the river.
Raina got to her feet, stuffing the envelope back into her bag, and walked over to the ambulance paramedics, who were getting ready to go. After making sure that Jamie didn’t need her, she asked for some antiseptic wipes, and was given a small pack of them, along with a pair of disposable gloves.
Returning to Alistair, she tore the wrapper open. He seemed about to argue and then obviously thought better of it. At least he still knew when to keep his mouth shut.
He winced as she cleaned the cut on his face, but said nothing, and when she told him to show her his hands, he held them out silently, turning them so she could check them thoroughly.
‘Did you swallow any water?’
‘No. It’s just as filthy as it looks and I decided not to stop for a drink.’
‘Take these.’ Raina put the rest of the antiseptic wipes down next to him on the deck. ‘Clean that cut again when you get home, and make sure to do to the same with any other abrasions.’
‘Yes. Thanks. You should go. The office will be closing soon.’
‘Shall I tell them what’s happened? So they won’t be expecting you back?’
‘Yes, thanks. Say I’ll be back first thing tomorrow.’
There was no point in telling him that he might want to spend tomorrow morning easing out any aches and pains and making sure that his dive into the water hadn’t resulted in any other ill-effects. Alistair had made it clear that it wasn’t her place any more and he was right.
‘Is your phone working?’
Alistair reached into his pocket, and took out his phone. The screen was cracked, and water dripped from it onto the deck.
‘Doesn’t look like it. But I’ve a backup at home, in case I lose this one.’
That was Alistair all over. He was all about the work, and nothing got in the way of that. A broken phone was a trifling obstacle when compared to a broken marriage, and he’d managed to spend enough of his energies on work then. Raina swallowed down her resentment and reached into her bag.
‘I’d like you to let me know that you’re okay.’ She scribbled her mobile number onto a scrap of paper and tucked it into the packet of antiseptic wipes.
‘I’ll text you as soon as I’ve got home and taken a shower.’
His tone indicated that there was nothing more to say. She had to go now, and show him that she could follow his instructions, because that was what Raina was going to have to do if Anya was accepted onto The Watchlight Trust’s project.
‘Thanks. Take care, Alistair.’ Raina got to her feet, trying not to look at him in case that made her want to stay. Standing aside to let the ambulance crew take Jamie and his mother up the gangway to their vehicle, she didn’t look back until she’d reached the pavement.
Then she couldn’t help herself. Her knees were grimy from kneeling on the wet deck and she pushed her skirt up to rub at them with a tissue, as an excuse to stop and turn. As she did so, she saw a police car draw up, and an officer get out and make her way down onto the boat.
That was Alistair’s lift home. She saw him get to his feet, and a couple of the pleasure boat’s crew came to shake his hand. Then the policewoman ushered him towards the gangway, smiling at him as she did so. That was Raina’s invitation to leave, before Alistair saw that she was still there.
CHAPTER THREE
THERE HAD BEEN a time when Raina’s touch would have made everything all right. Instead, Alistair opted for standing under the shower for half an hour, trying to wash off the smell of the river.
An impenetrable barrier stood between them now. Raina had brought him such happiness, and when she’d left he’d felt nothing but pain and grief. Turning to his work as a way out had only reinforced his belief that he could never be the husband and father he wanted to be.
Alistair scrubbed his body with a towel and put on clean clothes. Somehow a trace of the river still remained, but if he ignored it then it would probably go away. His eyes still stung a little, and he blinked as he picked up the slip of paper that Raina had left.
Raina Elliot... He noticed that she was using her maiden name now. That wasn’t much of a surprise, particularly since her niece’s surname was Elliot too. If nothing else it sent a message for the little girl who was now her daughter.
‘Raina Duvall. You like it...?’
He’d whispered the words in her ear as they’d danced together on their wedding night, and she’d smiled up at him.
‘I love it. What else do you think I married you for?’
&n
bsp; He’d known then that there had been many other things. Love had just about covered it. True love. Devoted love. Making love...
And when he’d given his name to her, he’d suddenly begun to like it a lot more. Up until then it had just been something he’d inherited from his father, along with a chunk of DNA and a propensity to spend all his energies at work.
But Raina had taken the name and made it hers. She had been a creature of warm summer days who’d left the taste of cool raindrops on his lips. Her ability to occasionally thunder and roar had all been a part of her free spirit, and when the storm had passed, everything would be washed clean. Raina had shown her feelings in a way that he’d never been able to, and that was what had broken them apart.
That, and Alistair’s failure. He hadn’t known his father all that well, but his mother had always told him that he was a lot like him. Being like his father meant he’d be a good provider, Alistair had grown up in a comfortable, affluent home. It also meant that his family would always take second place to his work. Alistair could barely recall one childhood memory that included his father.
When Raina had unexpectedly become pregnant, Alistair had tried to tell himself that he just wasn’t ready, as if somehow the passage of time might change his nature. The truth of it was that he was more like his father than he wanted to admit, driven and wrapped up with his work. He’d been busy at work, his phone switched off, on the day that Raina had lost their baby. If there was one thing in his life that Alistair could go back and change, it would be that. Raina had gone through all that agony alone.
The thing he wouldn’t change was letting her go. There was someone out there who could be a father for the children Raina wanted so badly, and it was only right that Alistair should step aside, however much it hurt.
He picked up his phone, tapping her number into the contacts list. He’d always thought that Raina would become a mother in less tragic circumstances. But the love he’d seen on her face when she’d shown him the photographs of her little girl told Alistair that she wouldn’t be bound by regrets.
That probably included him as well. And wanting to hear her voice, wanting to feel her cool fingers washing him clean, wasn’t the way to go. She’d asked him to text and that was what he’d do. He typed in a message telling her that he was home, and his phone pinged almost immediately.
You okay?
No, not really. The aches and pains in his body were nothing. The ache in his heart wouldn’t go away.
Yes. Fine, thanks.
That was the end of it. Alistair sent the text and then realised that he had a question of his own.
You delivered the application?
Yes. Heidi said she’d give it straight to Gabriel.
Good. Gabriel would probably have read it by now, and Alistair should give him a call.
Thanks. We’ll be in touch.
Thank you. Again.
That didn’t really require an answer. Alistair closed the text screen and dialled Gabriel’s number.
* * *
At the other end of the line, Raina was frowning. It was all very well to keep this on a businesslike footing, but Alistair seemed to be going out of his way to deflect any enquiries about his well-being.
‘Mummy...’ Anya was sitting in the bath, and she reached up, brushing Raina’s face with her hand. Her instinctive grasp of how Raina was feeling surpassed her ability to understand those feelings.
‘It’s just a text, sweetie.’
‘Who texted, Mummy?’
Raina made a face at Anya, and she giggled, splashing her bath water all over Raina’s shirt. ‘It was someone I went to see today while you were at Grandma’s house. His name is Alistair.’
‘Is he naughty?’
‘Yes. Very... But we’re not going to worry about that. Let’s get you out of the bath now and into your pyjamas.’
‘Naughty Alistair,’ Anya chirped, and Raina winced. She’d spoken without thinking. Perhaps if she didn’t say the word naughty for the next week, then Anya would forget all about that. If they did get through the selection process, she didn’t want Anya referring to Alistair as naughty while he was in earshot.
‘No, sorry, sweetie, I got it wrong. It’s really nice Alistair.’
‘Did you send him kisses?’
‘No, kisses are just for when we text Grandma.’ Kisses would be asking for trouble. Asking for the kind of heartbreak that should only be experienced once in a lifetime, as a lesson on what to avoid the next time around.
‘Then he must be naughty...’ Anya gave her a cheeky grin and Raina’s heart melted. Lifting Anya out of the bath, she wrapped her in a towel, hugging her tight. Kisses were off limits and so was any kind of naughtiness. The only person that mattered was Anya.
* * *
‘Is that Raina?’
‘Yes.’ Raina had been grabbing at her phone every time it had rung for the last few days, and every time she did, it wasn’t Alistair. This time was no exception.
‘My name’s Gabriel DeMarco. I work with Alistair at The Watchlight Trust, and he’s passed your application for your daughter on to me. I understand that you’re interested in taking part in our trials for the prosthetic limbs project.’
‘Yes...yes, I am.’ Raina held her breath, sitting back on her heels. Anya continued with the task of scooping soil into the plant pots that were laid out in front of them on the lawn, blithely unaware that her life might be about to change.
‘We’d like to explore that possibility a little further. If you’re still interested?’
‘Yes!’ She probably shouldn’t shout at him on the phone. Anya looked up at her and echoed the word, squealing with laughter. ‘Sorry...yes, I am still interested.’
Gabriel’s deep chuckle sounded in her ear. ‘You both sound as enthusiastic about the project as we are. There is one thing I’d like to discuss with you first, if you don’t mind. It’s a personal matter...’
Alistair. What had he said to Gabriel? Raina swallowed down her paranoia. She had no choice but to trust the man she’d once known so intimately. ‘You mean my relationship with Alistair?’
‘I do.’ Gabriel sounded a little relieved that he hadn’t had to explain. ‘Alistair’s taken a step back from the selection process, so as to avoid any possible conflict of interest. If Anya’s selected for the project, then I’ll be Anya’s doctor of record, and I’ll be responsible for prescribing the type of prosthetic that best suits her needs. But as Alistair’s heading up the project, you would inevitably find yourself working closely with him.’
It was all becoming a reality. Raina hadn’t dared think too much about the prospect of working with Alistair, but now she had to.
There was nothing for it but the truth. ‘Alistair and I have had our differences... obviously. But I’ve always respected him, and this means far too much to me to allow any personal issues to get in the way. I’d consider it a privilege to work with him.’
That would have to do. Raina held her breath, wondering if it was enough, and heard Gabriel’s deep chuckle at the other end of the line.
‘Since that’s pretty much what Alistair said, I think I can safely tick that question off my list. We’ve already interviewed a number of families for the project, and I’m wondering whether you’d be able to bring Anya in to see us tomorrow?’
‘Yes, any time that suits you...’ Raina felt her heart jolt up a notch. She and Anya had obviously made it through to the second stage of the process.
‘Eleven o’clock? You’ll be meeting with me and Maya Powell. Maya’s a consultant in rehabilitation medicine, and she’s collaborated with us before over the years. It’s not her intention to have any ongoing involvement with families selected for the project, but she’s donated some of her time to help with the screening and assessment process.’
In other words, Alistair wouldn’t be there. That was
one hurdle that Raina didn’t have to negotiate just yet. ‘Eleven would be fine, thank you.’
‘Great, I’ll see you then. Would you choose a favourite toy for Anya and bring that along too. We’d like to get to know her...’
Raina sat, staring at the phone after Gabriel had ended the call. This was all good. It seemed that Alistair had kept his promise and wasn’t going to stand in their way.
‘We did it, Anya. I think it must have been that cute smile of yours.’
Anya was unimpressed. ‘Mummy, can we put the plants in the pots?’
Raina bent to kiss the little girl’s cheek. ‘Yes, we’re going to do it right now. And tomorrow we’re going on the train to see someone. Nice Gabriel.’
* * *
Gabriel was waiting for them in the reception area, a tall, dark-haired man whose natural expression seemed to be a smile. He ushered them through a bright, open-plan space to two glass-walled offices at the far end, making for the one that was shaded from view by blinds. As they entered, a woman rose from the informal seating area at one end.
‘Raina, this is Maya Powell.’
Both Gabriel and Maya were relaxed and smiling, and drinks and pastries were laid out on the coffee table, around which a sofa and two leather easy chairs were arranged. But Raina wasn’t fooled. This was serious business, and the child-friendly atmosphere was for Anya’s benefit.
Maya shook Raina’s hand and then bent down towards the little girl. ‘You must be Anya. I’m Maya. We have a drink for you here, if you’d like one.’
Anya whispered a hello, clinging to Raina’s hand and leaning against her legs. Raina resisted the impulse to push her forward, hoping she’d get over her shyness.
‘Would you like to play with your bricks, sweetie?’ She pulled the box of bricks from her bag, putting it on the coffee table, and Anya stared at it uncertainly.
Second Chance with the Single Mom Page 3