Raina nodded. ‘Yes, I think that’s fair. The doctors and nurses at the hospital are always great with her, but she’s always pleased when she gets home.’ Raina picked her mug up, deciding that fetching the milk was too much of a distraction at the moment, and took a sip.
‘So I’m wondering whether our spending time with Anya in your home for a whole day—a weekend even—would be something that might be of benefit. Would you consider that?’
Raina choked on her coffee. ‘What, all of you?’
‘No, just me. We don’t want to overwhelm her. Are you all right?’
‘Yes. Yes, my coffee went down the wrong way. Hold on...’ Raina filled a glass and took a sip of water. The idea had its merits. The only drawback was that it was already proving tough enough to spend time with Alistair without noticing all the little things that had made her fall in love with him.
‘It’s very kind of you to offer, Alistair, but this is going to mean a lot of your time...’
‘I’ll do whatever it takes.’
Raina had no doubt of that. She’d do whatever it took as well, but Alistair had a wider group to consider. ‘There aren’t enough hours in the day for you to spend this much time with every child...’
‘No, but this project is all about exploring possibilities. If this works for Anya, and I think it might, then we can look at the practicalities of offering it for other children.’
That made sense. And Alistair sounded so determined. He’d faced his own difficulties, and it was good to hear him reconnecting with his work so enthusiastically. Raina had to put her own qualms aside.
‘Well...if you’re sure. We’d love to have you here any time that suits you.’
‘That’s settled, then. How are you fixed for this weekend? Is there anything special she’d like to do?’
‘Uh...just the normal things.’ Raina decided she really needed coffee to face a weekend with Alistair, and took a mouthful from her cup. ‘The same as you probably.’
He chuckled. ‘I usually work...’
So nothing much had changed, then. ‘Well, we usually go out somewhere on Saturday afternoon. The park sometimes, Anya likes to feed the ducks. We like going to new places and just taking a look around.’
‘That sounds straightforward enough. How does ten o’clock suit you?’
Alistair clearly didn’t have much idea of what it took to keep a three-year-old occupied for a whole day. Raina took another swig of her coffee.
‘Ten o’clock’s fine. We’ll see you then.’
* * *
Alistair had been prepared to learn. And parents had told him how uncomfortable it was when people stared at their children, but he wasn’t prepared for just how bad it felt.
They’d agreed that Alistair would come on Saturday and stay over until Sunday. He’d picked Raina and Anya up at ten, determined that it should be Raina’s day out as well, and was glad to see her relax while he negotiated the London traffic, parking in Hyde Park. They strolled to the lake, and Raina took a plastic beaker from her bag, filling it with duck food and tucking it under Anya’s arm so that she could use her hand to feed the ducks.
It was a gorgeous day, sun glinting on the water. Raina seemed relaxed and Anya was obviously having a good time, laughing and pointing at a white duck that came to the side of the water to eat the food that she threw.
‘Mum... Look, that girl’s only got one hand. And she’s got food for the ducks.’ A child’s voice came from the pathway, and Alistair turned to see a young mother, bright red in the face and reprimanding her boy. Raina smiled at her.
‘I’m so sorry...’ The woman shot Raina an agonised look. Alistair glanced down at Anya, who seemed oblivious to anything but the ducks.
‘That’s okay. My daughter’s name is Anya.’
The woman smiled. ‘This is Tom.’ Tom knew that he’d done something wrong and was hiding behind his mother’s skirts.
‘Would he like to come and feed the ducks with us?’
The woman hesitated for a moment and then smiled. ‘Yes, he would. Thank you very much.’
Raina produced another plastic cup from her bag and tipped some food into it. Introductions were made, and the two children stood together feeding the ducks, their mothers holding onto them to stop them from falling into the water. When Anya’s cup was empty, Tom held his in front of her so that she could reach into it.
Alistair watched as the two mothers chatted a little, and then Tom and his mum both said goodbye to Anya. Raina caught her hand, suggesting that they try some of the ducks a little further up, and Alistair fell into step beside them as they strolled along the path that ran alongside the lake.
‘Nicely done.’ Alistair wouldn’t have known what to do. The urge to find some way to defend Anya from the looks that some of the people walking by the lake had given her had left him shaken.
Raina shrugged. ‘People look. Some are really rude and you can’t do anything about them... But most of the time it’s just people being human.’ She sighed. ‘My best defence is to try to start up a dialogue. Most people are nice. They just don’t know what to say.’
‘Does she notice?’ Anya’s attention was on a pair of swans swimming gracefully along the far side of the lake, and she seemed completely oblivious of anything else.
‘She doesn’t like it if people just stare. I usually smile and people either look away or smile back. She told a woman to go away once.’
‘Yeah? What happened?’
‘Oh, she came up to me, wanting to know what had happened and whether Anya had been born like that. I was really taken aback, and...it wasn’t that good a day and I really didn’t feel like explaining to a stranger how Anya’s parents had been killed and her hand crushed in a road accident.’ Raina turned the sides of her mouth down, and Alistair saw hurt in her eyes.
‘So Anya stuck up for you. Good girl.’
‘Yes, she did. The woman just laughed and I said, “You heard.” She made herself scarce then.’
‘I hope she felt ashamed of herself.’ Alistair wished he’d been there to defend them both.
‘Probably not. I expect she’s got a story that she tells everyone about a horrible woman who encourages her child to be rude...’ Raina broke off as Anya started to tug at her hand. ‘What is it, sweetie?’
‘Can we have some ice cream, Mum?’ Anya had spotted a sign outside the lakeside café.
Raina pretended to consider the request for a moment. ‘Okay. That sounds like a good idea.’
If there was nothing he could do about the everyday cruelty of the world, then at least he could buy the ice cream. ‘I’ll get it. Would you like to come and help choose, Anya?’
Anya nodded, slipping her hand into his, and he started to make for the café before Raina got a chance to pull her purse out of her bag.
* * *
Having Alistair along made all the difference. Raina didn’t have to juggle with bags and keeping hold of Anya’s hand, and he seemed genuinely to love playing with Anya. He made her a paper boat to float on the lake, and spun the duck food pellets so that they landed right in front of whichever duck Anya pointed out to him. He wiped melted ice cream from her hand and carried her when she got tired. And he talked to her about everything they saw, his own interest in the things around them matching that of an inquisitive three-year-old.
All that was left for Raina to do was to watch and enjoy. And to try not to think about how things might have been. Alistair was here with one purpose in mind, and if it didn’t seem like that to Anya, then Raina should remember it.
After they’d explored the park, Alistair took them for afternoon tea in a smart hotel. As he ushered them into the plush reception area, Raina wondered if this wasn’t a little too much for Anya, but Alistair held her hand, pointing out the twinkling chandeliers to her, and she was entranced.
‘These are
the stairs that all the princesses use.’ He stopped at the bottom of a wide, sweeping staircase, and Anya nodded gravely.
‘Uncle Alistair...’ She held up her arms and Alistair picked her up so that she could see the twinkling lights that cascaded down the stairwell. Raina saw Anya’s head bob back and forth, taking in everything around her, as he walked slowly up the centre of the red stair carpet.
The tea table was set with fine china cups and saucers, and heavy silver cutlery, on a snowy white tablecloth. A smiling waitress brought a high chair for Anya and Alistair pulled a chair back for Raina.
‘This is really nice...’ Raina sat down, feeling a little like an imposter. This looked a lot like a handsome man bringing his wife and daughter for afternoon tea. Alistair’s attentiveness certainly bore that conclusion out, if anyone was tempted to jump to it.
He nodded. ‘What do you think, Anya? Do you like it?’
‘Yes. I like the pretty cups.’
‘They’re really nice, aren’t they?’ Alistair picked up a cup, keeping hold of it while Anya turned it in her hand, examining it. Everything he did was designed to get Anya to touch and manipulate things. ‘Let’s have a look at the menu, shall we?’
He started to read through the menu with Anya, and Raina picked hers up. This was way beyond what she could afford for afternoon tea. She nudged his foot with hers, under the table.
‘Alistair, this is a bit pricey.’ She whispered the words, wishing she’d thought to look at the menu on the reception desk.
‘It’s my treat...’ He silenced her protests with a firm look. ‘Indulge me. Or I’ll have to resort to unfair tactics and point out that Anya will be really disappointed if she doesn’t get one of those cakes.’
He gestured towards the cake stands, which sat on a side table ready for serving. Anya looked round and her eyes suddenly became as round as saucers.
‘Those are unfair tactics, Alistair.’
‘What’s a guy supposed to do? You have me outnumbered.’ He grinned and Raina’s heart melted.
‘This is a lovely treat. Thank you.’
He caught the waitress’s eye and ordered an afternoon tea for three. The young woman disappeared and then came back with cake stands containing small sandwiches and cakes, and a pot of tea. There was also a beaker of orange juice for Anya, and a glass of champagne for Raina.
‘Alistair!’
‘Come on. I know you like it.’ He filled his own glass from the bottle of sparkling water that the waitress had brought.
‘And this is part of your strategy, is it? Making the mothers tipsy while you spoil their children.’ Raina selected a couple of sandwiches and put them onto a plate for Anya.
‘One of my strategies. I’m just trying it out on you to see whether it works.’ He grinned at her with such obvious relish that Raina smiled.
‘It’s working.’ She couldn’t help it. Alistair had made this into a fun day for both her and Anya.
He was enjoying this too. She could see it. Anya responded to his attention by being on her best behaviour, and Raina began to relax again. This was a very nice treat, and one that she couldn’t afford these days.
It was nice to talk as well. Raina had forgotten how much she’d missed talking with Alistair about almost everything. This was the man she’d fallen in love with, the one who could make her laugh, and had something interesting to say on just about every subject under the sun...
‘Mummy...’ Anya suddenly started to rock in her chair, as if she wanted to get down from the table. Then she slid her residual limb into the front of her cardigan and Raina’s heart fell. Not now. Please not now, when they were having such a nice time.
Alistair was looking round, at a pair of middle-aged women, who had arrived at the table next to theirs. Both were staring at Anya, and one had actually turned in her seat to do so.
Alistair grinned at them broadly and they both looked away. Raina gave Anya a smile and tried to get her interested in choosing a cake.
It seemed that the women weren’t going to give up, though. They started to talk, glancing every now and then in Anya’s direction, and Raina caught some of the words.
‘She should cover that arm up. It’s not very nice...’
She felt herself flush, and saw Alistair’s face darken. Now, of all times, he’d heard what was going on behind his back.
‘I just can’t work up an appetite, you know... People should be more considerate.’
Alistair turned in his seat suddenly and Raina winced. The women had turned their gazes back onto Anya, looking as if they were both sucking lemons.
‘Hi. My name’s Alistair Duvall.’ He took his wallet from his pocket, producing his card and reaching over to put it on the women’s table. ‘I’m a director of a charity that produces prosthetic limbs for kids, like my niece here. You seem interested, and I’m always on the lookout for volunteers to help with our work.’
One of the women looked away, and the other shot him an outraged glare. Alistair gave her his most easygoing smile. ‘We’re very flexible over hours...’
‘The cheek of it!’ The woman glared at Alistair and got up from the table, walking over to the waitress, her companion picking up her handbag and following. Alistair winked at Anya and she gave him an effusive smile, clearly understanding that he’d scored a victory on her behalf.
The women were talking to the waitress and pointing to a table by the window. The waitress shook her head, and the women walked over to it anyway. The debate seemed about to get heated, and the waitress indicated the Reserved sign, displayed prominently at the centre of the table. The women tossed their heads and left, and the waitress came hurrying over.
‘I’m so terribly sorry. I heard what those women said, and it’s beyond unacceptable. Would you like me to call the manager?’
‘Yes...’
‘No.’ Raina silenced Alistair with a glare. ‘Thank you, we really appreciate your concern. But I think it’s best if we let it drop now.’
‘As you wish. I would have done anything I could to prevent this...’ The waitress was clearly upset about what she’d heard. ‘Please let me know if there’s anything else you need. Some more tea, perhaps?’
‘That would be very nice. And thank you for your kindness.’ Alistair gave her an incandescent smile and the waitress grinned back, hurrying away.
He reached for the cake stand so that Anya could choose which cake she wanted, and put the small cupcake decorated with pink icing and sugar pearls onto her plate for her. Raina knew how he felt, though. The same outrage that she felt when people treated her daughter as if she had no feelings at all had been written all over his face.
And he’d called Anya his niece. He had to call her something, she supposed, and Anya had started to call him Uncle the way she did all grown-ups that she liked. If they’d still been married, Anya really would have been his niece.
Raina couldn’t think about that. She picked up the teapot and poured the tea. The best thing she could do for Alistair now was to show him that the incident hadn’t spoiled their day.
CHAPTER SEVEN
ALISTAIR LEANED BACK on the sofa, closing his eyes. ‘I never realised that they were so exhausting.’
Raina laughed. ‘You have higher standards than I do. I can’t keep your level of play intensity up for that long.’
Alistair had thrown himself into his task for the day like a bull at a gate. After they’d returned home, every moment had been spent with Anya, playing with her and finding things to delight her. When she’d brought Anya back downstairs in her pyjamas for a bedtime story, she’d fallen asleep after the first page.
‘It’s harder than I thought. I’ve heard about people staring but you don’t really get the full force of it until you experience it. I just can’t imagine how anyone could be so downright nasty as those women were.’
‘You d
on’t get many like that. And there are lots of people like that lovely waitress for everyone who’s nasty.’ Raina sat down in an armchair, stretching her limbs. ‘Did you see her face when you asked her if she wanted to volunteer? I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or beg you to stop.’
Alistair chuckled. ‘Nothing like asking for volunteers. There are some people who’ll volunteer for anything, and others who run a mile.’
‘What would you have done if she’d said she had volunteered?’
‘There wasn’t any danger of that. Trust me.’
It was nice having someone to talk to in the quiet evening hours. Someone to share her day with. Raina had missed that, and she’d missed Alistair.
‘You’ve had a hard time of it these last few years.’ His thought came out of nowhere, in the way that evening thoughts often did.
‘I guess... I had to get through it. For Anya’s sake.’
‘You had your own grief to contend with...’ The open-ended statement was an invitation for her to talk.
‘It was hard to think about that. My mum and dad were both devastated. Dad couldn’t even go to Anya’s beside at the hospital without breaking down. And Mum sat with me at her side until she almost collapsed with exhaustion. She didn’t sleep for thirty-six hours.’
‘And you?’ His face seemed soft in the shadows.
‘I made up my mind that I had to be the one who coped. I gave Mum a timetable, and made her go home to eat and go to bed, even though she couldn’t sleep. I kept Dad up to date with what was happening with Anya and gradually he managed to be with her again. They worked through their grief and...they found a way to care for Anya again, without constantly thinking of Andrew.’
‘And now?’
‘They love her to bits. They always have, they just needed a bit of time to readjust. But they’re the best, they’re always there for me and they’ll take Anya without question if I have to go and do something. They help me out if I need something for Anya and I can’t afford it.’
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