Angels and Ashes (Heaven's Rejects MC Book 2)

by Avelyn Paige

  Each morning he wakes me up with his version of a wake-up call, and I have to admit that morning sex is by far the best. I may still be sleepy or drowsy, but feeling that raw connection and emotion leaves me feeling bonded to him throughout the day. Even if we don’t get to spend much time together when his presidential duties leave him locked away in the meeting room for hours, I still feel the connection in his absence. It’s addicting and scary all at the same time and leaves me feeling like I’m gleefully floating in the line of a firing squad.

  I spend most of my time away from Michael reading, talking to the boys, and now, working on my home business. It still makes me laugh when I think about how I spilled the beans to Michael about my dirty little secret.

  “You have got to be shitting me, right?” he yelled in disbelief.

  “I’m definitely not shitting you, Michael. You heard me correctly.”

  He paced the floor of my home office as I gathered my things to take back to the clubhouse. After a week of wearing the same clothes over and over again, he finally relented and took me back to the house to gather more clothes and to get my business supplies and laptop.

  “Why couldn’t you have had a normal home business like make-up or those fancy pots and pans?”

  “Just because I’m not a Suzy-fucking-homemaker and sell sex toys and homemade lickable body paints, you can’t handle it? What’s wrong with a vibrator and some edible lube? I’m betting you’d try them out with me.”

  He scoffed at my joke and turned to face me. “It’s something entirely different with you, but knowing that you know more about sex toys than I could have imagined is a little unmanning, okay? What if you find a monster cock rubber wiener that you like more than me?”

  I laughed out loud uncontrollably as he frowned. “It’s not funny, darlin’. I can’t compete with that vibrator shit.”

  “Don’t worry, babe,” I cooed, using a nickname he hates. “I’ll give you fair warning when the Monster Cock 8000 and I run away together.”

  I giggle as I think back to how shocked he looked when I gave him a taste of his own teasing medicine. Poor Michael. I wonder what he would do if he walked in on me masturbating with one of the toys that are currently strewn all over the bed we share together.

  Just as I pack the last box to be shipped out by one of the prospects later today, Michael walks through the door. Every time I see him, my heart flutters like a school girl daydreaming about her crush returning her amorous feelings. Maybe it’s the sex or just how we’ve bonded over the last few weeks, but every time he is gone, I miss him. Michael takes a few strides and pulls me into his arms, greeting me with one of his knee-buckling kisses.

  “You finished with your rubber wiener party in here?” he teases.

  “Yup, I just packed away the last one, and I have the shipping labels on them for Slider to take to the post office for me. You know, it would be easier if you just let me handle shipping them.”

  “I can’t let you out on your own, darlin’. Even though things seem quiet right now, we are still on lockdown.”

  I sigh as he rubs his large hands down my back in his attempt to quell my dislike of being cooped up for weeks like this.

  “I promise as soon as we get the club business handled, you’ll be able to frolic to your heart’s content on the outside, but for now, it’s safer for you to be behind these walls and for the kids to stay at your parents.”

  “I know, I know, but it doesn’t make missing the kids or a bit of freedom any less desirable. I’m not used to being ordered around.”

  His eyes soften at my unhappiness when a devious smile forms on his face.

  “You wipe that shit-eating grin off your face right now. After three rounds of sex this morning, I think my pussy needs a break from you and Godzilla. Not every woman is built to handle the likes of you.”

  “Godzilla, huh?” he chuckles. “I don’t think I’ve ever had someone give my dick a nickname, but fuck, I’ll take Godzilla.” He looks down at his crotch and just smiles. Good lord, I have only stoked his ego fire more.

  “But, that’s not what the smile was for. How about you and I get out of here today? I have a surprise for you that I think you will enjoy.”

  I roll my eyes at him and push away from his body.

  “It’s not Godzilla, I swear,” he says defensibly. “Though, we’ll come back to that portion of the discussion later.”

  “So where are we going?”

  “You’ll see,” he replies. “Meet me outside in ten minutes. I need to make some phone calls before we leave.”

  As he asked me to, I walk out of the clubhouse to find Michael sitting astride his running bike. He smiles as I walk toward him and grab my helmet from him before putting it on. I slide my leg over the bitch seat and hoist my body onto the bike. Settling behind him, I wrap my arms around his waist just before he peels out of the parking lot.

  We ride for hours before he pulls off into a rest stop just before the California state line. If this is his idea of a fun day out, he has another thing coming. The bike ride was fun, but this place isn’t exactly LEGOLAND. He turns off the bike just as a voice calls out to me.

  “Mama,” I hear before my sons run toward the bike. Michael leans back and helps me slide off the bike before getting off himself. He takes my helmet and leans in close to my body. “Surprise, darlin’.”

  “Mama,” screams Wesson as he plows into me with his open arms followed soon by Colt. The boys squeeze me so tight as I look up to see my mom carrying Roxie. My baby girl coos and smiles as she gets closer to us. Mom hands her to me, and for the first time in nearly a month, my family is complete. The boys chatter along about the things they’ve done with my parents and how Colt misses his friends at school. After missing a week, Michael told me that he had arranged for a tutor to teach Colt at my mother’s until it was safe for him to return to school. While I didn’t like the idea at first, it was far better that he continue schooling at home while the danger that the club put my kids in still lingered. What Michael told the school to allow him to be temporarily homeschooled was never mentioned to me, but I am okay that he did it.

  “Look how big you’ve all grown,” I exclaim. “What has grandma been feeding you?”

  “Heathy stuff that tastes like cardboard,” Colt pipes up. “I miss your cooking, Mom.”

  I ruffle his hair as I hug him again. “I miss having you all at home.”

  “’Uncle 'aze says we can’t come home until he says so. Is that true, Mama?” Wesson asks.

  “I’m sorry, baby, but it is. It’ll be just a little bit longer, and then you’ll all get to come home.”

  “That’s right, buddy,” Michael replies, tousling Wesson’s hair. “The day you come home, we’ll throw you a big old party with anything you boys could want.”

  “Rweally?” Wesson screams. “Can we have the biggest bowl of ice cream that you’ve ever seen with sprinkles, Uncle 'aze?”

  Michael looks to me with a smile before agreeing to Wesson’s demands. While I normally wouldn’t let the boys have a ton of junk food, their coming home can be an exception to the rule. If only it was going to be tomorrow.

  The rest of the afternoon we spend in the rest-stop diner, eating and just enjoying our time together. Almost immediately, Michael stole Roxie away from me and proceeded to walk her around all the toys lining the walls in the gift shop before coming back with a hot-pink stuffed bear with huge purple eyes. Roxie instantly shoved the toy in her mouth as she peacefully played in Michael’s arms. While Wesson clung to me, Colt gravitated more to Michael asking him question after question about his motorcycle and whether he’ll teach him to ride when he’s older. Just watching the exchange between them as Wesson colored on the placemat in front of us made my heart melt. Colt’s curiosity reminded me so much of his father and how he and Michael would talk for hours on our back porch about bikes in the early days of our marriage.

  Long before I am ready to let them go, Michael checks his watch and
reminds us of the late hour. I could have spent an entire month with my kids and it wouldn’t have been enough. We both help my mom pack the kids into the car before Michael walks away to get the bike warmed up.

  After I kiss each of the kids goodbye, Mom shuts the door and gives me a knowing look.

  “Is he the reason why you look happy?” she asks.

  “You could say that, Mom. I know you probably think it’s too soon, but we’re still trying to figure out what we are to each other.”

  Mom pulls me into a tight embrace. “Just remember, Darcy, that happiness doesn’t come in the package we expect it. I may not know him well enough to approve, but the kids like him, and that’s a good sign. Just don’t go head long into something like this until you’re sure because I don’t want to see you or the kids hurt again in the aftermath,” she whispers into my ear as the roar of a Harley engine fills the parking lot. I say a quick goodbye to Mom and send my love home for Dad before walking away and leaving just three little pieces of my heart behind.

  Climbing back on the bike, I resolve to myself that it’s time to put my game face back on and help Michael end this club bullshit so I can I have my family back. If I have to wait much longer, I may just butt in and handle their business myself.

  “Morning, darlin’,” I whisper against Darcy’s head. She doesn’t even make a sound or even move at my words but instinctively snuggles closer to me. I’ve come to hate mornings with Church because I have to leave her behind to sleep while I handle business.

  Pulling away my body from Darcy’s naked form after another long night of fucking and talking until the early morning hours has quickly become my least favorite part of the day. Sliding from the bed, I peer down at her before heading into the bathroom for a shower. The hot spray hits me with a jolt that jarrs me awake and my aching muscles groan as they relax. I stand under the spray thinking back about one of our conversations last night.

  “How did you get your road name?” Darcy asked as she rolled over to prop herself up on her elbows. “Is it short for Razor or something?” I shot her a glare as she just laughed. “You didn’t answer me,” she challenged back. “Is it embarrassing?”

  “No, darlin’, it’s not. What you have to understand first is that things were different back when I patched in. The club was in shambles and involved with so many crooked, back door dealings that it was a step away from blowing up in our faces. The day the gavel passed down to me after my pops died, I cleaned house. I took everything bad and illegal about our club and burned it to the ground to make this club what it should have been all along: a brotherhood and a family.”

  “So your road name is nearly in the literal sense?”

  “Yes, it was actually Jagger who gave me my nickname. We were sitting outside of the clubhouse after a particularly rough night cleaning up a mess that my dad had left behind. We were just shooting the shit when he got a serious look on his face. He gave me this big speech about honoring our brotherhood and making sure that things never went back to the way they were after I dismantled the current business dealings of the club. From that night on, he started calling me Raze.”

  She quieted down after I mentioned his name, and even though she put on a good show, I could feel her wet tears falling on my arm as she pretended to sleep. It pains me to know that she still mourns him like he was killed just yesterday, but who am I to put a time limit on how long one grieves?

  Shaking her sadness from my mind, I think about how Darcy has become nearly insatiable in the bedroom to the point that I am sore by the time morning comes after a particularly hardcore fuck-a-thon. I caught myself thinking about how in the hell Jagger kept up with her energy and fire with their age difference, but I stopped myself from even thinking about her relationship with him. I know they were married, but there’s a part of me that is jealous knowing that another man had claimed her before I could. Learning to live with someone’s past while thinking about the future can be a bitch sometimes, especially if you’re the one who could be crossing the line.

  Exploring my relationship with Darcy has helped the last few weeks pass by relatively easy as we wait for news from Irons and Thrasher. It has shocked me how well Darcy and I work together in our relationship. Where I am hard, she is soft, unlike my ex-wife who was all hard. The ease that I feel with Darcy is foreign to me compared to my past relationships. It’s like she gets me on a completely different level and understands not to push sensitive topics. Granted, it took her a few times to realize that talking about Maj wasn’t something I enjoyed doing, but I find myself opening up more to her about the downfalls of my marriage.

  I’ll admit that during some of these deeper conversations between us that I feel guilty keeping her husband’s and now my secret away from her. She deserves to know the full truth about her husband’s death, but I’m afraid if I do that I will lose what we have now and her. She’s smiling again, and telling her will only bring more pain and suffering. I keep telling myself that I am keeping her in the dark for her own good, but lately, I’ve been thinking that maybe I’m doing it for my own selfish reasons.

  Stepping out the shower, I quickly dress and quietly leave my room, heading for the main room where I can already smell one of the club whores cooking breakfast for us before our meeting.

  “Morning, Prez,” Voodoo mumbles as he shovels a heaping pile of scrambled eggs in his mouth. I pull up a chair at the bar between Hero and Ratchet just when Ruby slides a full plate in front of me followed by Bubbles with a cup of hot coffee.

  “Thanks, ladies,” I mutter as I pick up my fork and dig in. I get three bites in before I notice Ratchet fidgeting while shoving his uneaten food around his plate.

  “You all right over there?” I ask, watching his toss down his fork before turning to me.

  “So you and Jagger’s old lady, huh?” Ratchet questions with wide eyes as Tyson joins breakfast.

  “What about it?” I remark cautiously.

  “Just seems a bit odd that you’d take up with your former brother’s wife. Isn’t that like coveting another man’s property or some shit?”

  “Anyone else have an issue with it?” I demand as I make eye contact with everyone around the room. “Now’s the time to voice your concerns, because once this discussion is over, we won’t be bringing it up again.”

  “I’m fine with it, Prez,” says Hero with a nodding Voodoo and Tyson behind him. “You’re both lonely, we get it.”

  “Doesn’t mean it’s right,” mutters Ratchet under his breath.

  “Just a few weeks ago, Ratchet, you stood outside and told me to ‘fuck her or fuck her out of my system’. Well, we did just that, and for the time being we’re trying out whatever is between us. It may be temporary, or it may be permanent, but as it stands now, you will treat her like my old lady, and you will give her your respect.”

  “We just don’t want you distracted by her when we have more important shit to deal with, Boss, that’s all. Good pussy is good pussy, but it shouldn’t cloud your judgment,” Hero chimes in. “But, I’m with Raze, she’s been an old lady before and knows the ropes. It’s not like she’s some fresh-faced whore off the streets.”

  “Thanks for the glowing recommendation there, Hero.” I shove away from the bar and hop off my stool before shoving it back into place and thanking the girls again for breakfast, even if the eggs weren’t fully cooked. Ruby really needs to take cooking lessons or something because I doubt she could properly boil water judging by her lack of scrambled egg skills, but then again, those aren’t the skills the guys keep her around for, anyway.

  “Church in five,” I demand as I spin around and head for the meeting room with hushed whispers beginning behind me.

  “You know that if she stays with you, you’ll only end up getting her killed just like Jagger, right?” someone calls out from the bar. A flash of Darcy lying in a casket hits me hard, but I shove that away. Nothing is going to happen to her as long as I am still breathing, even if these fuckers that I should be
able to call my brothers think otherwise.

  Shoving open the door of our meeting room, I angrily stomp to the head of the table and plop in my chair while I fume. Fuck them and their judgment. Maj may have been a shitty old lady, but Darcy hasn’t given them a single damn reason to question her loyalty.

  I continue to fume as the guys began to shuffle into the room. Church usually only happens a few days a week, but with Irons and Thrasher in Mexico, we’ve ramped up the schedule to meet almost daily to keep everyone up to date as information comes in. It took the guys some time to maneuver themselves into town without drawing suspicion, but earlier this week, we finally started to get some decent reports back about the area.

  The last few days they have been radio silent. It makes me uneasy when our contact is limited, because with the unrest in Mexico at an all-time high, they could both be lying dead for days before we’d even go down to look for them. Church starts off as it usually does with updates from Tyson on our finances and Voodoo with his surveillance footage. Hero did share the only uplifting news with his announcement that the girls are finally settled in at home and doing well. While it’s exciting for him to have his kids at home, it also means that he’ll need to be away more often to support Dani in their care. Not that I mind it, but the timing just sucks. He’s the kind of guy you want by your side in a dogfight, but I won’t keep him from his family if that’s where he wants to be.

  “Anything else we need to talk about?” I remark before the phone on the center of the Church table rings. I lean over the table and hit the answer button along with the speaker phone.

  “What do you have for me, boys?” I say without a hello.

  “Well, hello to you, too, Prez. I see you’re in a happy-go-lucky mood today.”

  “Can the cuteness, Irons, and give us your report,” I snarl back.

  “It’s a quiet little town,” reports Irons. “El Diablo doesn’t have much to offer except a small cantina and a few scattered houses surrounding it.”